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December 24, 2005

Karol's Review of Brokeback Mountain

So I did break down and see it yesterday. It was woefully boring. I'll post a review later, but here's Karol's.

posted by Ace at 10:34 AM

Comments

You broke down during the movie?
HOMO!

Posted by: harrison on December 24, 2005 10:47 AM

It couldn't have been that boring because you have been missing in action for close to a day.

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 10:48 AM

Trackback Mountain, the story of two men, Ace and Allah, who dream of blogging about gay movies together while ignoring the women in their lives.

"This is an important movie that will really bring blogging out into the mainstream," says the Times review.

Posted by: caspera on December 24, 2005 11:06 AM

Well, there was drinking afterwords, and then I went home and watched a real gay romance, the Princess Bride.

There's something going on between Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik, I just know it.

Posted by: ace on December 24, 2005 11:13 AM

Was there pudding offered at the snack bar?

Posted by: Joe Mama on December 24, 2005 11:13 AM

Unfortunately, no.

It was soooooo boring. It was sooooo boring I left a half hour in to get a coffee and make a phone call and buy cigarettes.

I actually wound up missing Anne Hathaway's boobs.

I did see Michelle Williams', though.

Posted by: ace on December 24, 2005 11:16 AM

MW does have nice ones but I refuse to go see BBM just to see tits. I'll go dl some pr0n if the need arises.

Posted by: Laddy on December 24, 2005 11:45 AM

"There's something going on between Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik, I just know it."

INCONCEIVABLE!!

Posted by: Dread Pirate Amish on December 24, 2005 12:09 PM

How on earth could anyone be bored while sitting in such close proximity to the lovely Karol and the manly and witty Allah? I don't believe you.

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 12:33 PM

It was sooooo boring I left a half hour in to get a coffee and make a phone call and buy cigarettes.

Uh huh. Did Allah join you?

Posted by: someone on December 24, 2005 12:45 PM

Ace and Allah...the ambiguously gay duo?

Posted by: kelly on December 24, 2005 01:05 PM

telephone rings

Ace: Hell-ooooo?

Karol: Hi, Ace. Whatcha doin'?

Ace: Oh nothin', what's up?

Karol: Do you want to go to a sprorts-bar and watch the game? The G-Men are playing the Skins! I'll call Allah, too.

Ace: Oh really? Hmmm.

voice in the background: Nah, I don't wanna.

Karol: Who's that? Is that Allah? Is he at your place?
Sounds like he's right next to you.

Ace: Ya, Allah's here. We're just hangin'.

Karol: Oh...well...ah...

Ace:

Karol:

Ace:

Allah:

Karol: Sooooo, do you guys feel like doing anything?

Ace: Allah wants to go to Greenwhich Village. He said the coffee shops there are great.

Karol: No thanks. I'll call one of my girlfriend's, she'll want to see the game with me.

Ace: O.K. Ba-bye.
(Allah: Bye, sweety.)

Karol: Bye.

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 01:44 PM

Allah doesn't smoke but he was smokin'. wink wink nudge nudge. Oh, this is a terrible joke. Sorry.

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 01:45 PM

^
Me.

Posted by: Bart on December 24, 2005 01:45 PM

1:44 was me.
Good timing, Josie!

Posted by: Bart on December 24, 2005 01:46 PM

Well, there was drinking afterwords . . .

A jew, a catholic, and a protestant go into a bar . . .

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 02:07 PM

Ace is right. Boring flick, uneventful screening, except for the part during the sex scene when Ace started furiously jacking off.

I posted my own review in Karol's comments in case anyone's curious. About the film, I mean. Not about homosexuality. WHICH I CERTAINLY AM NOT.

Posted by: Allah on December 24, 2005 02:14 PM

Besides Ace, did the sex scenes make either of you two uncomfortable?

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 02:32 PM

Real cowboys dont eat garden burgers they ride horses drive in dusty pick-ups and have meat and potatos meals and they salute the flag and the eagle and pray to god

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 24, 2005 02:59 PM

Amazing. Two articulate, intelligent guys need to go to a movie about gay, sheep herding cowboys to discover that its boring. Earth shattering news.

You guys went to placate Karol. Alpha males? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Posted by: JackStraw on December 24, 2005 03:02 PM

Do real cowboys drink Miller Lite?

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 03:25 PM

Here is my BBM question:

When it was your turn in line to buy the tickets, were you embarrassed to tell the clerk what you wanted to see? Was their a hesitation where every fiber of your being was crying out "SAY NARNIA! SAY NARNIA!" and yet you mumbled "Brokeback Mountain" anyway, hoping against hope that no one heard you?

Or:

Did you puss out, give Karol the cash and have her buy all 3?

Posted by: Jack M. on December 24, 2005 03:51 PM

Jack M. -
With Ace you are talking about a man who used to wear a tshirt that said "I Know Whats Mine". I find it very unlikely that he would entrust his $ to someone else's care, even for a moment.

Posted by: steve_in_hb on December 24, 2005 04:33 PM

I love how Allah turns this movie into yet another story affirming his non-alpha male uselessness.

Posted by: someone on December 24, 2005 08:29 PM

Dammit, nobody ever answers the real question: Do they eat pudding?

Posted by: zetetic on December 24, 2005 08:43 PM

I didn't say anything about my non-alpha uselessness, someone.

Posted by: Allah on December 24, 2005 09:15 PM

How soon people forget. Allahpundit was a heavy hitter in the blogosphere. Still is.

Posted by: on December 24, 2005 10:07 PM

Jack M., this particular theatre was showing one movie, and one movie only. There was no escape for the boys.

Posted by: Karol on December 25, 2005 03:30 AM

Did you say "Brokeback" or "Bareback" when getting your tickets?

I don't know how anyone can get the movie's name straight.

Posted by: Muslihoon on December 25, 2005 04:06 AM

Amazon.com Widgets

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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

TJM talks about Billy Wilder