I'm glad I didn't go see The Anchorman. I boycott all movies, television shows, & entertainers who take cheap shots.

What are you doing here then?

Dude, this is the *same* McKay? You're kidding, right?

I remain stunned how someone can be so funny yet simultaneously so absolutely clueless about the world at large.

Sheesh Ace, you at least flip those qualities.

What a f'ing moron. I guess it was a bad idea to drink milk today, eh?

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

I meant cheap shots at Bush and the WOT.

Cheney isn't evil, he's just trying to live day by day with a daughter who just happens to be a lesbian. Ask Senator Kerry.

Is it just me or is this a chilling quote?

gotta go with that's pretty much just you Adam.

but if it chills your shit, hey, bonus.

...but Dick Cheney's cock has already had a little word with Denny Hastert, and apparently he's "cool" with the changes.

I don't know about you, but when I look at Denny Hastert, all I see is "Bob"(Meat Loaf) from 'Fight Club'- and I personally think 'The Big Dick' would just spew all over those man-titties... and he'd make Denny like it!

Okay, so the guy's a tool. I didn't know that before, but I can't say I'm surprised.

Anchorman was still hilarious.

well, it's nice to see we've worked back into the latent homosexuality/Dick Cheney mode here at AoSHQ. there and I thought ya'll were getting soft.

no, not that kind of soft, MIND OUT OF GUTTER!

Why is this surprising? Have you forgotten that 'Anchorman,' a movie set in the 70s, went out of its way to take shots at the current administration? It was a big negative point that they just couldn't bear to let that pass when the movie had been going so well up to that point.

The guy makes it pretty clear he eagerly drank the LLL kool-aid and went back for seconds. After the laundry list of complaints he rattles off it's impossible to take him seriously on anything relating to the real world. A lot of people who make their living in fiction are that way.

If he'd put that part first in the piece it would have saved me the time wasted reading the parts ahead of it. I've lost all patience with this sort of person. They have nothing to say of any value if they are so far out there in the moonbat zone. It reminds me of the other night I turned on Comedy Central in a moment of boredom to watch Steve Colbert's show. He had on the ed-in-chief of 'The Nation.' She hadn't spoken for more than a few seconds before dragging out the tiresome 'Faux News' idiotic slur.

At that point I gave up and switched off the TV. She obviously had nothing to say other than to announce her terror at the idea of a major news outlet that didn't adhere to her approved ideology. Buh-bye.

I would have felt the same if a conservative writer had immediately launched into namecalling against 'The Nation.' I may not harbor the kindest feelings towards their staff's beliefs but that doesn't mean I want slurs in place of reasoned arguments.

Dick Cheney pawned his conscience for three dollars and half a pack of unfiltered Camels and never looked back.

So, to answer McKay's question, no, I don't think he ever worries about it.

Since I won't read the linked piece, I'm free to laugh at that description of Cheney's breakfast. That's funny stuff.

And no offense Ace, but Dick Cheney's cock is third in NO line. Sloppy seconds (or thirds) is just not in the program.

Bob Dole's cock thought otherwise once, and learned first hand what the phrase "like a Viking" meant.

Is it just me or is this a chilling quote? It seems like a line from the Emperor in the most recent Star Wars: "The Power of the Emperor must not be limited by the council or the Jedi in a time of war!"

Yes, it's just you. And my 9 year-old nephew, maybe.

McKay really needs to take a break from the fantasy movie-world he apparently lives in.

I mean, when I was 12, we all saw the world through a system of interlocking Star Wars references, but I had no idea you could make an entire life and career out of it.

Does Dick Cheney know he's evil? I mean it. Does he occasionally look up from his breakfast of one hard boiled egg and a plate of heart pills and say to himself, "Man, I'm an evil fuck”?

Not sure if that's Dick Cheney's daily MIaEF moment, but for me (as a good conservative) it's usually after I've beat a few crippled gay orphans with their crutches, and am settling in to drink a nice hot mug of 10W40 while reading the WSJ - the hebraic edition of course.

One hard-boiled egg and a plate of heart pills? This is what that guy thinks Cheney eats for breakfast? Please.

I'm thinking it's more like one hard-boiled endangered bald eagle egg with a plate of uppers, washed down with some Jack Daniel's and black coffee.

And when he says, "Man, I'm an evil **k?"

He's laughing.

Phinn wrote: "I mean, when I was 12, we all saw the world through a system of interlocking Star Wars references, but I had no idea you could make an entire life and career out of it. "

You'd be surprised.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

It wasn't going over to the Dark Side that did this to my eyes. It was accidentally looking over at the next urinal while Dick Cheney and I happened to be in the men's room at the Evil Fucks Club together.

(Okay, so it wasn't really accidental, but otherwise, true statement.)

Dick Cheney doesn't take any pussy-ass heart pills. When his heart stops, he starts it again by slamming the garage door on his massive cock. Between the rush of blood and the concurrent chuckling this activity always warrants, that stubborn ticker jumps right back up and says, "Howdy!"

He calls it "CPR", for Cock Pounding Restart.

Dick Cheney doesn't take any pussy-ass heart pills. When his heart stops, he starts it again by slamming the garage door on his massive cock. Between the rush of blood and the concurrent chuckling this activity always warrants, that stubborn ticker jumps right back up and says, "Howdy!"

He calls it "CPR", for Cock Pounding Restart.

You know, the posters here are much funnier than the writer of "Anchorman." I really think we should collectively try to write an episode of a television show, or a movie script.

Dick Cheney Rides the Sillver Bullet

You know, the posters here are much funnier than the writer of "Anchorman."

Thanks, but that's not saying much.

I don't know why people liked Anchorman - that movie was retarded. The only thing I can remember liking about it was the huge fight scene, and Christina Applegate's side-boob in a dream sequence.

I really think we should collectively try to write an episode of a television show, or a movie script.

That screenplay Ace is trying to unload?

60% of it is harvested from the comments on this site.

And he STILL isn't harvesting that sweet, ripe, crazy blog-money.

Because you can't write a watchable screenplay with goofy comments from a blog.

...although it would make a pretty funny blog entry.

Like an episode of 24 with Jack Bauer going to Monty's Flying Monkey Shack to interrogate somebody, and Dick Cheney's cock the object of an assassination plot.

I liked Emperor Palpatine's comment. Maybe Ace could raise some crazy blog money by selling memberships in an Evil Fucks Club, where we all get together to worship our dark lord Cheney and then sing a few rousing verses of "The Stonecutter's Song."

I really think we should collectively try to write an episode of a television show, or a movie script.

Well let's get this rolling then.

Fade in:

Closeup on eyeball tearing up, then pan out as tear falls across the chalky cheekbone of Jake Gylenhalyhal.

Pan continues and camera tracks behind Jake's hair-tousled head, revealing what terrible thing could bring someone once so gay to tears...

MAIN TITLE:

"Stonewall Burning"

Camera slowly pans over a scene of pandemonium. Police cars sit outside a nondescript bar, lights flashing, as police officers fight with drag queens outside the bar.

VO: It was beautiful.

FLASHBACK: Title reads “Six Weeks Earlier.” Pan through doorway of a seedy bar beneath a neon sign reading “The Crimson Crowbar.” Onstage we see JAKE GYLLENHOOLYHALL, HEATH LEDGER, CHRIS KLEIN, and HARVEY FIERSTEIN performing as The Supremes (Harvey is Mary Wilson, Chris is Diana Ross. The other two guys are the other two singers), performing “One Fine Day.” The quartet finishes the song to rapturous applause from the small but devoted audience, and JAKE walks over to the bar where FRITZ, the laconic, shaven-headed bartender, has a mimosa waiting for him.

FRITZ: You girls are in fine voice tonight, Lionel.

LIONEL: Well, I guess we ought to be, after all those rehearsals! (Sighs.) I just hope we’re ready for the big All-City competition next month.

Close up: Tom Cruise, as NYC Patrol Sergeant Seamus O'Kelly, mashing the face of one bejeweled tranny into the sidewalk and whispering, "Shut up, Ronald. You don't know me. You understand? We've never met!"

Ronald's mascara drips into his stubble.

Oh, flash back to present. Now with the closet-dwarf.

This time I remember to sign in.

FLASHBACK again to 6 weeks ago, pan and scan away from Fritz & Lionel across a crowd of satin and sass, zoom in on impeccably made-up Ronald speaking animatedly to a man dressed in lederhosen and a Derby set at a rakish angle.

Ronald: Oh my god, Shay! Could this night be any more perfect?

Camera continues to track to the side, revealing the handlebar moustachioed face of Seamus O'Kelly.

Seamus (glowering, and in a british accent that could only be described as Costneresque): It could be more perfect if you wouldn't use my name here, Ronnie.

Ronald flinches as if struck, and starts to deflate.

Seamus: Now now, no harm done, eh, my sweet?

Ronald perking up, and flinging his arms around Seamus' neck: I wish this night would last forever Sha, er, Gunther!

Camera turns on Seamus' open eyes, which have narrowed and focused on someone over Ronald's shoulder: Aye, lassie, forever...

I thought that you were linking to satire until I read the little leftist fantasy. Suffice it to say that whatever meds this guy is on, they ain't working. Eesh.

Crap. I should read the comments before replying to the content of Ace's post. I just killed the movie script.

Newsflash: the fascists at Huffington's Post still delete/alter comments as the mood strikes them.