"Big Bird has also vanished, replaced by an enormous yellow character, Nac, whose trumpet nose, vivid colors and whimsical nature"

Yellow? Big nose? Whimsical nature?

I bet he's Jewish

If this is France, they need:

...a monkey character carrying a white flag who waves it at everyone he meets. This character should also have a fondness for cheese.

...a character wearing a moustache and a beret who sits all day at a sidewalk cafe smoking thin black cigarettes and espousing a nihilistic philosophy of life. Even though this character is in a perpetually bad mood, he is always surrounded by hot-looking babes.

Actually, nothing makes me feel more ennui than seeing Oscar the Grouch stuck in that fucking trash can.

I heard something to the effect that Big Bird found a dead body in his back yard. Is that edgy enough?

ennui? Or pathos?

Whichever means 'it makes him cry.'

Because of your question, I am now consumed by the angst of indecision, much like Mr. Snuffleupagus.

This immediately made me think of an Animaniacs episode where the characters were at a theater showing a French film. The characters were all thin (no, gaunt), with droop-lidded, disinterested looks on their face, wearing black and smoking. They were in a passenger compartment on a train, and the dialogue was:

Ch1: Frere Jacque?
Ch2: Frere Jacque. Dorme vous?
Ch3: Dorme Vous. Sonde les matines?
Ch2: Sonde les matines.
Ch1: Din Dan Don! DIN DAN DON!

I guess you had to be there.

Oops, last was me.

Maybe they can just use the Yellow Bastard character from Sin City. He's edgy.

a character wearing a moustache and a beret who sits all day at a sidewalk cafe smoking thin black cigarettes and espousing a nihilistic philosophy of life. Even though this character is in a perpetually bad mood, he is always surrounded by hot-looking babes.

It goes without saying this character would be wearing a white t-shirt and that we'd never know his name, because, children - life doesn't always give us all the answers. Some things will always remain a mystery.

The Letter N.

Nuance.

The letter N.

Will they update classic Sesame Street songs with themes like "Oh the rioter is a person in your neighborhood"?

Evidently I'm out of the "cool kids" cultural loop, because I assumed there already was a French version of "Sesame Street." It's been around for--what, forty years? Now they're finally copying it, not to mention Starsky and Hutch. The Europeans really are thirty years behind the curve.

Watch for the French remake of "Happy Days," with the action transferred to Vichy-era France. Just like the original, only much edgier and ironic. And with more cringing.

I wuz robbed.

Historically speaking, rue Sésame is part of Sesamstraße. This is my last territorial demand on public television.

Seems to me the most intelligent, meaningful and thoughtful discussion had by Parisians (even kids, maybe especially kids) would be whether to wave their white flag of victory in an east-west motion or northwest-southeast direction? Nothing else matters, except whether the wine is any good this year and where's the cheese (pun intended)?

Edgier?

Makes you wonder what _they'll_ have Bert & Ernie doing...

Jeff,

Wearing leather, for starters....

I know that they make a froggy version of Sesame Street for broadcast in Queerbec, but I guess that's not good enough for the original frogs.

"We need some irony. It's very difficult to evaluate, but we have the feeling that in France we can be a little edgier."
Apparently French children need a distinctively-French manner -- an "edgier" and "ironic" way -- of learning the alphabet and what color oranges are.

And so, Jerry Lewis has been hired as a consultant.

"Bonjeur, Jean-Paul!"
"Bonjeur, Simone!"
"Mon dieu!, ou est coup les frommage?"

I heard something to the effect that Big Bird found a dead body in his back yard. Is that edgy enough?

True story!
The Hartford Courant website should have the details.

My first try with a link:
Hartford Courant

"Suspect: death an accident"

Sonofa gun! It's true! Somebody dumped the goods in Big Bird's back yard.

Even more shocking: the same actor plays Oscar the Grouch.

Evidently, it's not enough that the French adults present a common front of being total dicks. It's now considered imperative to bring children into the fold as early as possible.

Sesame Street ain't no joke BEAATCH! Yall hatas quit hatin fo Da Bird has to to represent on a mufucka.

Perhaps they're just of a mind to harrass the guy.

"In connection with that incident, Deojay faces charges of interfering with an emergency call and second-degree breach of peace."

Because he kicked the phone out of his girfriend's hand while she was trying to call 911. As he was hanging himself.

Who's writing in the Courant these days? The entire staff of The Onion?

Conversation between an American four year old and his french cousin, also 4, visiting America for the first time:

American: "Hey, you wanna watch Sesame Street? I really like Bert and Ernie and the rubber ducky."

French: "Fuck you."

Now that's edgy. And shocking. And full of frisson.

This show was sponsored by every consonant in the alphabet, which we put on the ends of our words but we are too arrogant and haughty to pronounce.

They charged him with kidnapping, too. Sounds like he kidnapped her, killed her, hid the body on Big Birds property who he has some connection with. Gee, I hope Big Bird wasn't an accessory after the fact.

Well, I guess they've got the plot for Rue de Sesame's pilot episode.

Apparently, by "edgier," the French mean, "less like The Muppets and more like CSI."

You mean they have not replaced BIG BIRD with a chicken yet?

Good one, Spur!

My favorite French Sesame Street character is Abdul. Abdul is furry puppet with one long eyebrow, a beard, and he wears a vest filled with explosives. Abdul lives in a cave with walls that are decorated with maps of the Middle East that do not include Israel.

Abdul's friends are Kofi the Appeaser and Mo the Mullah. When Abdul grows up, he wants to be an airline pilot in America.

How long before unruly mobs of ironic-cool kids are breaking windows on the Rue Sesame and setting fire to Monsieur Hooper's sedan?

Timmy in the Well,

Actually Abdul only wants to be an airline pilot in America once, then have his way with the 72 constantly regenerating virgins forever...

Soon it might look something like this

Big Bird has also vanished, replaced by an enormous yellow character, Nac, whose trumpet nose, vivid colors and whimsical nature were tested with children and reviewed by a French psychologist.

So basically they just replaced a long pointy threatening thing with a more welcoming um, aperture.

Telling, non?

How about THE COUNT going VUN TWO THREE?