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« Will White Flags Cow Liberal Peace Warriors? | Main | Vote... Or Else »
December 09, 2005

Michael Jackson To Be Broke & "Homeless" In Two Weeks; Friends Fear Suicide

All those billions? HIStory.

The singer has missed repayments on a £156million loan and has been told to pay back the full sum by December 20.

If he doesn’t come up with the cash he faces losing his Neverland ranch and his lucrative Sony Beatles catalogue.

Those close to the star fear he could commit suicide. One said: “Jacko is in meltdown.["]

I can relate. With very little crazy blog-money coming in, my creditors are threatening to foreclose on my prized Foghat concert-poster collection.


posted by Ace at 02:35 AM
Comments



I thought he moved to Bahrain? Or Dubai?

Posted by: See-Dubya on December 9, 2005 03:01 AM

Here's hoping someone pries those kids away from him soon...

Posted by: Dogstar on December 9, 2005 03:06 AM

Actually what's melting down is his face in that desert heat.

Posted by: Cybrludite on December 9, 2005 03:28 AM

Maybe he'll do a Sully-style pledge drive.

Posted by: someone on December 9, 2005 05:19 AM

Why doesn't he just go back to Santa Barbara and start a babysitting operation. He had enough water- head supporters, surely they would let ole' Jacko watch their children. Or now that he is a muslim he can go put on a bow tie and smash up liquor stores owned by people who actually work. I just hope he blows his brains out.

Posted by: Johnnywaka on December 9, 2005 06:41 AM

Wow. I saw that headline, and the first thought in my mind was:

Best. Christmas. Evuh.

Cruel? Yeah.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 9, 2005 09:20 AM

I'd be in great financial shape if not for those damn bloodsucking joooos.

Posted by: Jacko on December 9, 2005 09:27 AM

Oh, man! NOT THE FOGHAT POSTERS!

Posted by: mojo on December 9, 2005 10:36 AM

He's not even the biological father of the kids. Talk about selling babies. I hate that bitch of a mother that sold them to him. I 'm not sure where the third one came from.

Posted by: on December 9, 2005 10:39 AM

Will he close down NEVERLAND?

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 9, 2005 10:46 AM

Don't worry Ace, I'm sending you a buck!

Posted by: Mark_D on December 9, 2005 10:57 AM

Breaking.
My.
F'ing.
Heart.
I think Paul gets his songs back.

Posted by: harrison on December 9, 2005 10:58 AM

Schadenfreude anyone? It feels oh so good. Too bad he will never truly be poor because he can always go on a concert tour of Europe and make millions.

Ahh, the enlightened Europeans, with their Michael Jackson and their David Hasselhoff, so much more sophisticated than us Americans.

Posted by: Big E on December 9, 2005 11:47 AM

They fear he could commit suicide?
I'm prayin for it.

Posted by: L on December 9, 2005 11:52 AM
Oh, man! NOT THE FOGHAT POSTERS!

I go to a different drummer. Like a 30-minute drum solo. Like that dude from Foghat! That's my drummer! The guy from FOGHAT! Duggidah guh-guhhgidah! Duggidah-guhhgidah-guh! Duggidah-guhhgidah-guh! And then the guy, the lead singer comes in and says, "hey, on bass guitar," duggidah-guhhgidah-guh! You know and he, uh, he announces all the band members... that's my drummer. Ahhwright? Not your stupid little buhm-bhum-tsss buhm-buhm-tsss.

Posted by: HayZeus on December 9, 2005 11:58 AM

Could be a ploy to negotiate better terms on the debt.

Posted by: Not-a-banker on December 9, 2005 01:12 PM

"Friends Fear Suicide.... Rest of Country Waits Eagerly For It"

Posted by: Russell Wardlow on December 9, 2005 02:20 PM

BTW, let's hope he doesn't pull a Sully. I fear were he to become "gobsmacked," his gob would probably fall off.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow on December 9, 2005 02:24 PM
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