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« Big Derbyshire Boob-haha On NRO | Main | Late Night Idiocy »
December 05, 2005

Sperm shortage strikes France!

Or, No Balls - No Sperm.

French lesbians exhausting Belgian sperm banks

Their title is actually quite a mouthful!

French lesbians have been crossing the border to Belgium in search of medical procedures to get pregnant, which are denied in France, creating a new sort of baby boom at Belgian fertility clinics.

"We do not have sufficient sperm donations in reserve to meet all the requests" for insemination, Delbaere said at a recent conference on homosexual parenting in Paris.

Why don't they just do what they have done historically? You know, use the German sperm for all their needs.

Anyway, in other French sex news...

'Lewd rubbing' shuts Paris statue

Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on a statue.

Officials concerned about damage to the icon's groin area have erected a fence around the grave, and a sign prohibiting indecent rubbing.

It is said that a woman who kisses the lips of the prostrate statue and slips a flower into the upturned top hat will find a husband by the end of the year.

The new sign warns: "Any damage caused by graffiti or indecent rubbing will be prosecuted."

Statuephilia???


posted by Tanker at 05:30 PM
Comments



I am the Biff-a-Saurus

Posted by: Biff Boff on December 5, 2005 05:45 PM

I'm happy for you.

Posted by: Iblis on December 5, 2005 05:47 PM

I used to say, "I am the Lizard King...". But one day, I realized I Can't Believe Its Not Butter and, well, that was that.

Posted by: Biff Boff on December 5, 2005 05:57 PM

Shortage of French Jackoffs? Can't be. Maybe they should try UN HQ.

Posted by: Gromulin on December 5, 2005 05:59 PM

Maybe they're hoping Dick Cheney's cock will bail them out again.

Posted by: Iblis on December 5, 2005 06:38 PM

Totally OT -- what the heck is wrong with blogspot?

Posted by: someone on December 5, 2005 06:39 PM

It may or may not be the Lizard King buried in that French tomb, but that statue IS Dick Cheney's cock. And that's definitely not butter...

Posted by: Biff Boff on December 5, 2005 06:53 PM

Tanker,

Ummm...

;)

Posted by: BrewFan on December 5, 2005 07:07 PM

I picked up a copy of French lesbians exhausting Belgian sperm banks VII just the other day. Great cameo by Jenna Jameson.

Posted by: Eric J on December 5, 2005 08:06 PM

And in other news, in a daring daylight robbery, two French lesbians robbed a sperm bank today, armed only with turkey basters...

Developing.

Posted by: N. O'Brain on December 5, 2005 08:15 PM

C'est si bone, n'est ce pas?

Posted by: zetetic on December 5, 2005 09:53 PM

I see bones,
I see gizzards and bones
and a few kidneystones,
among the lovely bones!

Posted by: Allen Sherman on December 5, 2005 10:09 PM

ah, loose shit, it was Allan Sherman

Posted by: Dave in Texas on December 5, 2005 10:19 PM

I should know better: drinking a coke and reading the Ace at the same time is a no-no. After the reference to the "historical" use of German sperm, I must clean my desk.

Posted by: the other Rick on December 6, 2005 08:09 AM

Hey i though the french were suppost be be real romantic? i guess they have lost a lot and eepi lapew must ahve gone flat

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 7, 2005 10:38 AM
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Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
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Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
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Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
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REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
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Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
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