Ace of Spades HQ

« A Therapeutic Short-Film About the Nick & Jessica Breakup | Main | Good News From Iraq »

December 03, 2005

Atrios, My Hero, And I'm Not Kidding

Remember Pat Summerall? He was a famously laconic play-by-play man. Here's Sommerall describing, say, Jerome Bettis taking a handoff:

Bettis... three yards.

Here's him describing a 50 yard Hail Mary resulting in an interception and runback for a touchdown the other way:

Shotgun... he's looking... pass up... intercepted... has the sideline... touchdown.

Notice no exclamation points. I always liked that about him.

Now, Pat Summerall may seem to be a lazy broadcaster, until you contrast him with motormouths like Dan Dierdorf and John Madden, who you just wish would shut the hell up instead of trying to fill every second with dopey or cutesy or obvious analysis. Uhhh, like me, I guess.

Atrios/Duncan Black/Eschaton/Whatever is the Pat Summerall of the blogosphere:

Dante

The King of Zembla interviews Joe Dante.

-Atrios 11:49 AM

Comments (12) Trackback (0)

How Not to let the Word Racism Drive You Insane

Ampersand has good advice.

This roughly applies to discussions of sexism, too. The fact that you don't have a set of robes in your closet or you don't think of yourself as a misogynist doesn't mean that nothing that ever comes out of your mouth has its roots in racism or sexism, whether there's any of that intention behind it. Relax, consider the criticism.

(via pandagon)

-Atrios 9:24 AM

Comments (414) Trackback (0)

Bowl Games

Thank God Congress is going to start working on the really important stuff which is just crying out for congressional meddling.

(via americablog)

-Atrios 9:14 AM

Comments (79) Trackback (1)

Open Thread

Leaving all the changes far from far behind. we relieve the tension only to find out the thread's name.

-Atrios 8:56 AM

Comments (60) Trackback (0)

Open Thread

I asked my love to give me shelter And all she offered me were threads.

-Atrios 5:36 AM

Comments (196) Trackback (0)

Breaking News

John "Stumpy" Pepys killed.

-Atrios 12:24 AM

Comments (254) Trackback (0)

Zombie Reviews?

I noticed Showtime was not free for all, but how did the rest of you enjoy it?

-Atrios 12:06 AM

Comments (164) Trackback (0)

Your Invitation Has Arrived

Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Fox News party!

-Atrios 12:01 AM

Comments (32) Trackback (0)

Friday, December 02, 2005

Open Thread

Have you heard of a thread that will help us get it together again? Have you heard of the thread that will stop us going wrong?

-Atrios 9:56 PM

Comments (644) Trackback (0)

Evening Thread

Don't forget - Zombies. Showtimes. 10pm.

For the fainthearted don't worry, it isn't really scary.

-Atrios 6:47 PM

Comments (647) Trackback (0)

In a half-day of blogging, he wrote one paragraph of obvious crap, started four open threads, and had one semi-open thread soliciting reviews for some show on Showtime. ("Zombies"? My guess it that it's part of the hit-and-miss-but-mostly-miss "Masters of Horror" series. Only the Lovecraft one was any good, and it wasn't even that good.)

And. Look. At. The. Comment. Numbers.

The sick thing is that, according to Atrios, his Sitemeter doesn't even count his comment-hits, as they're on Haloscan (and, I assume, he doesn't have the Sitemeter counting-code on there). Which means he's getting 200,000 hits a day to a main page containing almost nothing but open threads -- and millions of uncounted hits to his comment boxes.

A lefty blogger notes that Black isn't a morning read anymore for this reason.

I don't want to say that quantity trumps quality, but I don't see any quality here at all.

I swear I am going to start a lefty blog.

I think I'll call it "Teachable Moments." Crazy blog-money, here I come!

posted by Ace at 02:19 PM

Comments

I think I found the problem ace. I decided to do a little investigative research and followed your link to Low and Left and found this comment:

I found Ace of Spades following a story from DefenseTech, and on a whim, bookmarked it for fun. I don't visit often, for reasons put forth by rlp. But putting in a comment is like tossing a mouse in a tank of piranas. And boy, the women there are vicious; you don't want to meet one of them in a dark alley with a Bush Sucks t-shirt!

It's the women.

Posted by: JackStraw on December 3, 2005 02:39 PM

Yet - and wrap your mind around THIS, ace - according to the accidentally, prematurely posted weblog awards final nominee list - Atrios was nominated for "Best Blog."

I shit you not.

Posted by: Bill from INDC on December 3, 2005 02:47 PM

Whah are you comparing a "color guy" to the play-by-play guy?

I get your point, though.

Posted by: Bart on December 3, 2005 02:55 PM

Dont be such a player hater Ace. Any point that Atrios can make, you can make too... with a thousand extra words or so.

Anyway im pretty sure Atrios didnt start getting big numbers in his comments section until he started making 'Original Facts about Hillary Clintons Cock' threads.

Posted by: a-a on December 3, 2005 03:32 PM

"Here's a link" is not, in fact, a point.

Posted by: ace on December 3, 2005 03:35 PM

Atrios gets so many commenters because the sort of people who comment there need to feel some kind of comradeship, a sense of community.

The rest of us just want to be left the hell alone.

Posted by: Russ on December 3, 2005 05:02 PM

What's sadder, the fact that the "texts" of Atrios' open thread posts are riffs on Yes lyrics...

...or the fact that I noticed this?

Posted by: Jeff B. on December 3, 2005 05:21 PM

Jeff,

Apart from Common People, is there any song worth listening to on the Shatner album? You said it's great, but I don't like anything but Common People. Give me a couple of other more-accessible (quick to like) tracks and I'll try listening for what you're hearing.

Posted by: ace on December 3, 2005 05:37 PM

Ace, I don't know the name of the track, but there's one where he talks about climbing a mountain, and almost falling to his death, ...

wait! Now I remember. It's called "It Hasn't Happened Yet," I think.

Posted by: Knemon on December 3, 2005 05:59 PM

The 'Zombie' thing is almost certianly this Joe Dante bit of excrement discussed yesterday at LGF:
Zombie Soldiers and Mama Moonbat

Washed up Hollywood guy Dante has produced a segment of extraordinary offensiveness to anyone outside the LLL echo chamber.

Posted by: epobirs on December 3, 2005 07:01 PM

"You'll Have Time" is easily my favorite on the album. "It Hasn't Happened Yet" is another good one, as are "That's Me Trying" and "Together" (very trancey). The first half of the album is really strong altogether. Best cuts on the second half are "Has Been" and especially "I Can't Get Behind That," but "Familiar Love" is also damn funny.

Posted by: Jeff B. on December 3, 2005 10:15 PM

Oh, by the way, "I Can't Get Behind That" is a duet with Henry Rollins. And it actually lives up to the expectations. Fucking hilarious - and Rollins says it's possibly the most satisfying artistic collaboration he's ever worked on!

You really need to just sit back and listen to it all the way through. I totally expected it to fall into the "novelty" bin. But it's actually a really impressive album.

And this coming from a guy who prefers King Crimson, Radiohead, and The Grateful Dead most of the time.

Posted by: Jeff B. on December 3, 2005 10:45 PM

I too noticed the Yes lyrics he is riffing on. It makes sense though--Yes lyrics are precisely what I go to when I have absolutely nothing of substance to contribute. After all, what other group comes up with stuff like "Born in the night she would run like a leopard that freaks at the sight of a mind close beside herself".

Pass the pipe...

Posted by: Kevin on December 4, 2005 01:11 AM

Atrios and Sully would make a nice couple - he's so placid and calm. He is gay right?

Posted by: rakmjn1 on December 4, 2005 05:27 AM

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky
They stand there
24 before my love and I'll be there.

Dude, don't bogart that shit.

Posted by: Knemon on December 4, 2005 08:50 AM

A seasoned witch will call you from the depths of your disgrace
And rearrange your liver to the solid mental grace

I really don't think that couplet has ever been equalled in the preposterousness sweepstakes. Although actually....

Battleships confide in me and tell me where you are
Shining, flying purple wolfhound show me where you are

Funny thing is, both of these songs kick reams of ass MUSICALLY. The second you focus any conscious thought upon the lyrics, however, the spell is broken. Thank God Steve Howe can play guitar like he does.

Posted by: Jeff B. on December 4, 2005 09:09 AM

It's the women.

He must have gotten into a snit with bbeck.

Posted by: lauraw on December 4, 2005 10:50 AM

"He must have gotten into a snit with bbeck."

Then she crushed him like a bug with her muscular arms.

No wonder he's scared.

Posted by: Lipstick on December 4, 2005 11:09 AM

Musically, yeah--they were amazing. Howe, Wakeman, Squire...

Fairy Jon can sing pretty well too, but sheesh--who ever let him write the words? He could have won the Ace poetry contest hands-down.

Posted by: Kevin on December 4, 2005 07:00 PM

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

Teen Driver Tayvin Galanakis Wins Jury Trial Against Officers Who Charged Him With DUI Even After He Blew 0.0 on A Breathalyzer And Passed Sobriety Tests. One Officer Accounted For 72% of All DUI Arrests For That PD [dri]

Days before the woman was stabbed in the neck by a taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer, in the same general area, another taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer attacked a boy and bloodied his head with a brick.
What is the UK Regime's plan for protecting the citizens from the savage criminals they've foisted on the populace? They offer NONE. They do, however, have a plan for protecting the savage criminals from the citizens: The citizens must STAY CALM and not get angry and not share videos of citizens being attacked by savage criminals.
The public keeps saying "protect us from the foreign savages you have imported against our wishes and over our objections" and the UK branch of The Regime keeps proposing plans to protect the foreign savages from the public. Soclose to what the public is demanding, just, you know, the complete opposite.
Just a thought: Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the public attacking the savage criminals if you actually introduced a plan to protect the public from the savage criminals. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if it was necessary for them to protect the public through self-help.

Courtney Subramiam, one of the "journalists" who "previewed" her questions for the decrepit and demented Biden so that he could "answer" it with a pre-scripted response, rewarded by promotion to president of the White House Press Corps

Bonchie
@bonchieredstate

hahahahaha

This is the lady who gave her question to Biden beforehand, and he had it written verbatim in his notes with her picture.

You know what's really terrible? There are Daily Signal reporters in the press room. That's the Real Scandal Here!

English racist garbage-person who's on the wrong side of history warns the corrupt Regime that the people cannot take much more of this -- and won't take much more of this
The English have rebelled before.

All of the various Bob Dylans
by Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd

TJM gets lost in the worlds of David Lynch

You might think that movie critics by nature are effeminate and bitchy, but, did you know that grass is green and red peppers are red?

"We have black ghetto fatigue"

Odd 90s-Retro Susan Collins ad against the Nazi Hotchkiss "hobby farmer"
I like the throwback AOL style of the ad.

Podcast: Sefton and CBD bounce around from Maine and its pet Nazi, to the cracks in the Democrat messaging, to the failure of California and its effect on the 2028 election, sea drones rescuing Apache crews, and more!

Seattle mayor shrugs off millionaire-tax concerns as 44% of business leaders consider leaving
It happens in all the blue states, but WA and Seattle will be different! [CBD]

TJM definitively ranks the films of Alexander Mackendrick

VOTE JEFF CARTER FOR NV STATE TREASURER!
[CBD]

Mary Margaret Olohan
@MaryMargOlohan

NEW: Five FBI employees were fired today over the infamous Richmond Catholic memo on "radical traditionalist Catholics," FBI source confirms to @realDailyWire.

Oof. Reviewers do not like Scary Movie 6. The criticism I keep hearing is that the movie mistakes a reference for an actual joke. The movie (they say) keeps Key Jangling a reference to another movie (or some other pop culture ephemera) and you expect there to be a joke but nope, the Key Jangle was the joke. Other reviewers say that the promise that "no lines will be uncrossed" is a fake-out, and that the movie is bland and inoffensively corporate.

TJM introduces you to the movies of Alexander Mackendrick

Whoops! I posted about Dan Goldman losing the NY congressional primary. He might do that, but it won't be tonight -- the primary isn't held until June 23.

One race to keep an eye on: the Levi's heir nepo baby and egregious "Designated Liar" Dan Goldman -- one of the Democrats from a safe district Democrats send out to spread their most indefensible lies -- may actually lose his lower Manhattan/Brooklyn set due to, get this, antisemitism in the Democrat primary electorate.
Antisemitism? In the anti-Nazi Democrat Party? Sounds crazy, I know, but apparently the anti-Nazi Party wants to eliminate Jews.

Henry Rosoff
@HenryRosoff

🚨EXCLUSIVE POLL:

Brad Lander is 34-pts ahead of Congressman Dan Goldman with #NY10 Democratic Primary voters. @ZohranKMamdani is backing the former Comptroller.

@bradlander: 57%

@danielsgoldman: 23%

Poll by @PIX11News & @EmersonPolling.

MORE: http://pix11.com

Oh my Totenkopf Tattoo, that is a DRUBBING!
I'm usually very anti-antisemitism but if the Communist Antisemite Jihadists can pull this one off, Go Communist Antisemite Jihadists, Go!

Democrat Senator Rueben Gallego, who served his wife with divorce papers when she was nine months pregnant so that he could marry his side-piece, counsels us that we should not judge Graham Platner for his infidelity because these things are personal matters, Racists:

Sahil Kapur
@sahilkapur

Sen. Ruben Gallego, D-Ariz., on Platner: "We know that Graham has lived not your typical political experience. He's been very clear and open with his wife, and they worked through whatever they worked through. At the end of the day, this man has had 60 more town halls than Susan Collins has. He's winning the polls, he's willing to accept that he has grown as a person, and I think we should accept that."

Gallego says the drip-drip of revelations won't harm Platner's campaign.

"I think you guys are all in a bubble here right now. The drip, drip that's actually happening is Americans are really, really hurt the fact that gas is still high, food is still high, they can't buy a home, you can't afford rent. They're not going to care about text messages and everything else like that that happened years ago, especially when it was worked out between spouses."

I like that he says that it's okay that Graham Platner sexted 12 different women within months of marrying the woman to sponge off her because he wasn't then "living a political life" -- the clear meaning being, "We all cheat, we just don't cheat when we're running for office, and he didn't know he was running for office when he was sending dicpics to half the women he ran into."
Except he was running: His own wife turned the sexts over to his campaign.
And obviously Reuben Gallego didn't let his "political life" get in the way of his extramarital dating life:

Podcast: CBD goes solo in a short segment...talking about Iran, the nativist issues surrounding Reform and Restore in the UK, and the delicious pain of an imploding Democrat Party, courtesy of Talerico and Platner!