Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Wrap Sheet: Tookie Williams | Main | No Joke: Al Sharpton In Talks For Sitcom »
December 02, 2005

Dick Van Patten Eats Dog Food

He says his new "celebrity" endorsed puppy chow is good enough for human consumption, and he proves it himself.

Big deal. Dick Cheney eats a goulash made from broken glass, spent antifreeze, and liquified animal waste. And he's not even being paid for his endorsement.

He's just doing his part to end world pollution.


posted by Ace at 06:09 PM
Comments



Boy, this whole Cheney thing really has legs, doesn't it?

Posted by: Monty on December 2, 2005 06:17 PM

My dad used to give me a dog biscuit once in a while. They weren't great, but they weren't bad.

Discover dog biscuits all over again... for the very first time.

Posted by: Guy T. on December 2, 2005 07:04 PM

Gosh Ace - wherever did you find THAT story?

Posted by: Bill from INDC on December 2, 2005 07:16 PM

No big deal. If you feed your dog prime rib, medium rare, with mushroom sauce and mashed potatoes, the idea of "fit for human consumption" doesn't seem like much of a stretch.

Posted by: Sobek on December 2, 2005 07:22 PM

I bet the Hobo Chili and the Chinese Takeout don't even have real hobos or Chinese in them.

Dick Cheney will NOT stand for this loose shit.

Posted by: Trouble's Braids on December 2, 2005 07:22 PM

I used to eat something called Doggie Donuts. They were little multicolored biscuits shaped like donuts. For dogs.

Why did I do this? Dick Cheney told me that children in Africa would love to eat Doggie Donuts, and I believed him.

Posted by: ace on December 2, 2005 07:25 PM

Cheney also invented 'milk-bones'.
However, he didn't intend for his 'milk-bone' to be consumed just by dogs...
In the end, he just rolled with it.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on December 2, 2005 07:29 PM

Actually, Bill, I've had that window open up on my computer all day. I got it from Lucianne or Free Republic.

But yes, reading your post (you keep an eye on that referrer list, huh?) did prompt me to finally put it up.

To make amends, I've linked Dorkafork's bit about US military "propaganda."

Posted by: ace on December 2, 2005 07:37 PM

I'm still just amazed at you finding that story, Ace! What a find! Where could you have possibly found it?!

I mean, Dick Van Patten?

Posted by: Bill from INDC on December 2, 2005 07:38 PM

;-)

Posted by: Bill from INDC on December 2, 2005 07:38 PM

Ya know, I actually played blackjack at the same table with Van Patten a while back. Once, he got dealt a five and a three, and when the dealer asked him if wanted another card, Dick just said "No, eight is enough."

Thank you everybody - I'm here all week!

Posted by: Enas Yorl on December 2, 2005 09:33 PM

"Dick Van Patten's Natural Balance Eatables for Dogs" is puppies! It's puppies!!!

Posted by: CleverNameHere on December 3, 2005 01:20 AM

Check out a doggie cookbook called "Bone Appetite". Add a little salt and they are gourmet recepies for people. Yummy!

Posted by: rabidfox on December 3, 2005 11:55 AM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Days before the woman was stabbed in the neck by a taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer, in the same general area, another taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer attacked a boy and bloodied his head with a brick.
What is the UK Regime's plan for protecting the citizens from the savage criminals they've foisted on the populace? They offer NONE. They do, however, have a plan for protecting the savage criminals from the citizens: The citizens must STAY CALM and not get angry and not share videos of citizens being attacked by savage criminals.
The public keeps saying "protect us from the foreign savages you have imported against our wishes and over our objections" and the UK branch of The Regime keeps proposing plans to protect the foreign savages from the public. Soclose to what the public is demanding, just, you know, the complete opposite.
Just a thought: Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the public attacking the savage criminals if you actually introduced a plan to protect the public from the savage criminals. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if it was necessary for them to protect the public through self-help.
Courtney Subramiam, one of the "journalists" who "previewed" her questions for the decrepit and demented Biden so that he could "answer" it with a pre-scripted response, rewarded by promotion to president of the White House Press Corps
Bonchie
@bonchieredstate

hahahahaha

This is the lady who gave her question to Biden beforehand, and he had it written verbatim in his notes with her picture.

You know what's really terrible? There are Daily Signal reporters in the press room. That's the Real Scandal Here!
You might think that movie critics by nature are effeminate and bitchy, but, did you know that grass is green and red peppers are red?
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD bounce around from Maine and its pet Nazi, to the cracks in the Democrat messaging, to the failure of California and its effect on the 2028 election, sea drones rescuing Apache crews, and more!
Seattle mayor shrugs off millionaire-tax concerns as 44% of business leaders consider leaving
It happens in all the blue states, but WA and Seattle will be different! [CBD]
Mary Margaret Olohan
@MaryMargOlohan

NEW: Five FBI employees were fired today over the infamous Richmond Catholic memo on "radical traditionalist Catholics," FBI source confirms to @realDailyWire.
Oof. Reviewers do not like Scary Movie 6. The criticism I keep hearing is that the movie mistakes a reference for an actual joke. The movie (they say) keeps Key Jangling a reference to another movie (or some other pop culture ephemera) and you expect there to be a joke but nope, the Key Jangle was the joke. Other reviewers say that the promise that "no lines will be uncrossed" is a fake-out, and that the movie is bland and inoffensively corporate.
Whoops! I posted about Dan Goldman losing the NY congressional primary. He might do that, but it won't be tonight -- the primary isn't held until June 23.
One race to keep an eye on: the Levi's heir nepo baby and egregious "Designated Liar" Dan Goldman -- one of the Democrats from a safe district Democrats send out to spread their most indefensible lies -- may actually lose his lower Manhattan/Brooklyn set due to, get this, antisemitism in the Democrat primary electorate.
Antisemitism? In the anti-Nazi Democrat Party? Sounds crazy, I know, but apparently the anti-Nazi Party wants to eliminate Jews.
Henry Rosoff
@HenryRosoff

🚨EXCLUSIVE POLL:

Brad Lander is 34-pts ahead of Congressman Dan Goldman with #NY10 Democratic Primary voters. @ZohranKMamdani is backing the former Comptroller.

@bradlander: 57%

@danielsgoldman: 23%



Poll by @PIX11News & @EmersonPolling.

MORE: http://pix11.com

Oh my Totenkopf Tattoo, that is a DRUBBING!
I'm usually very anti-antisemitism but if the Communist Antisemite Jihadists can pull this one off, Go Communist Antisemite Jihadists, Go!
Democrat Senator Rueben Gallego, who served his wife with divorce papers when she was nine months pregnant so that he could marry his side-piece, counsels us that we should not judge Graham Platner for his infidelity because these things are personal matters, Racists:

Sahil Kapur
@sahilkapur

Sen. Ruben Gallego, D-Ariz., on Platner: "We know that Graham has lived not your typical political experience. He's been very clear and open with his wife, and they worked through whatever they worked through. At the end of the day, this man has had 60 more town halls than Susan Collins has. He's winning the polls, he's willing to accept that he has grown as a person, and I think we should accept that."

Gallego says the drip-drip of revelations won't harm Platner's campaign.

"I think you guys are all in a bubble here right now. The drip, drip that's actually happening is Americans are really, really hurt the fact that gas is still high, food is still high, they can't buy a home, you can't afford rent. They're not going to care about text messages and everything else like that that happened years ago, especially when it was worked out between spouses."

I like that he says that it's okay that Graham Platner sexted 12 different women within months of marrying the woman to sponge off her because he wasn't then "living a political life" -- the clear meaning being, "We all cheat, we just don't cheat when we're running for office, and he didn't know he was running for office when he was sending dicpics to half the women he ran into."
Except he was running: His own wife turned the sexts over to his campaign.
And obviously Reuben Gallego didn't let his "political life" get in the way of his extramarital dating life:
likelytogivebirth.jpg
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD goes solo in a short segment...talking about Iran, the nativist issues surrounding Reform and Restore in the UK, and the delicious pain of an imploding Democrat Party, courtesy of Talerico and Platner!
Recent Comments
ChristyBlinkyTheGreat: "173 ...Ultimately, if the people in Iran get tired ..."

Admirale's Mate: "I set up a shop vac with the nozzle near the yello ..."

Skip : "I forgot about Crocodiles, pies were my favorites ..."

Aetius451AD work phone: "1) yellow jackets and wasps are evil. They should ..."

banana Dream: "Here's a picture of me #16 between Hostess PB Tota ..."

t-bird: "[i]Getting close to that big anniversary: What and ..."

Commissar of plenty and festive little hats : "hard as a rock with a mystery liquid inside. Th ..."

banana Dream: ">>> Do you smoke the banana peals before dreaming? ..."

cmeat: "canoeing on the allagash (needs limerick), the bea ..."

Skip: "My pool pick for Iran breaking the treaty was 26 h ..."

cmeat: "as a nine year meter reader (just like the mailman ..."

huerfano: "Sitting at a baseball game in 100 degree weather a ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives