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November 26, 2005
Michael Jackson: Converting To Islam?Well, he's already satisfied one of the Five Pillars of Islam (call Jews "leeches"): American pop star Michael Jackson has officially announced that he has been following the five tenets of Islam and intends to convert to Islam, according to a report on the website of Arab-Israeli newspaper Panorama. The report is based on information elicited from sources in Bahrain. "The kind of freedom he says he does not have in America?" Uh oh-- you mean Gary Glitter style freedom? Someone better tell Wacko Jacko those 72 virgins come in the afterlife, not between brunch and dinner. posted by Ace at 02:58 PM
CommentsUh, he's like any other Hollywood freak – a fad a day. Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:03 PM
He needs to immigrate to -- I forgot the name of the country. Arthur Clarke lives there with his boytoys. Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:05 PM
Clarke lives in Sri Lanka (formerly Ceylon). As for Jackson emigrating to Bahrain, they can have him. Be curious to see how al Jazeera will spin this into an anti-American screed. Posted by: Brown Line on November 26, 2005 03:14 PM
Oh, f'n great. That's just what American diplomacy in the Middle East needs. "Today on al-Jazeera: the plush pederasty paradise of the pasty pedophileof pop! Plus: we ask noted Mullah Al'Cider--should this freak be wearing a veil or not?" What's the deal with Arthur Clarke? The science fiction guy, you mean? Posted by: seedub on November 26, 2005 03:17 PM
Yeah, the sci-fi guy. He's a pervert, that's what's up with him. lol! Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:30 PM
During his last trial there were quite a few stories about his being surrounded by Nation of Islam types so it's not much of a surprise. Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on November 26, 2005 03:32 PM
It's common practise that if you are even a minor black celebrity, you hire NOI as bodyguards when you have to go to court. Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:40 PM
Is he becoming a real Muslim or the fake pseudo-Muslim "Nation of Islam" type? Will he abstain from pork and "Jesus juice"? How will he lure his prey? Will he honor the usual punishment of execution for the corruption of men or boys? How many Philippine slaves, ooops, I mean servants, will he have? How many wives does he plan to have: the usual Muslim maximum of four or the Saudi maximum (no limit)? Will he pay zakaat on his possessions? Will he go for hajj? How will his face survive under the desert sun if he goes to hajj? Will he give up singing? If he becomes a Muslim will he be a Sunni Muslim like the ruling family or a Shia Muslim like a majority of the people of Bahrain? Does he think Shias are infidels/apostates/hypocrites? Will he speak up for them? So many questions! He needs to hold a press conference! Posted by: Muslihoon on November 26, 2005 03:58 PM
Don't they execute pedophiles in muslim countries? His next trial may have a very different ending Posted by: brak on November 26, 2005 04:00 PM
The singer said he decided to convert to Islam because he is convinced it is the closest religion to his personal beliefs. This could be the most damning indictment of Islam since the suicide bomb. First Cat Stevens and now Jacko. All the really great talent is fleeing. Posted by: JackStraw on November 26, 2005 04:01 PM
Yusuf (cat) recently said what really sold him on Islam is the 72 virgins with self healing hymins after screwing. Mo also throws in the bargain 'pretty young boys' 'like pearls' for a little butt nooky when you tire of the healing hymen virgins. Maybe Michael spoke to Mo and Mo agreed to drop the virgins and up the 'pearls.' Homo sex acts are very common in Islam. The screwer is considered manly, proud and of course the screwee is ridiculed as effeminate and weak. There's a whole culture around it where men keep sissyboy lovers like 'mistresses.' Michael must love that. He fits right in with all those princes and sultans and shieks. Posted by: John Sobieski on November 26, 2005 10:23 PM
You poor people uneducated about the great religion of Islam (puk) are not aware that the martys will also have YOUNG BOYS in addition to the 72 virgins. It can be VIRGIN BOYS. You pointy head infidels have not thougt of this have you? huh? huh? Brother Michael will no doubt commit martyrdom by igniting his hair again and walking into a beauty salon while the hair spray is being applied and blow those infidel bitches to INFIDEL HELL!! May the great Allah (puk) and his only prophet the great MO (puk) get their revenge soon on you worthless camel turds!! Posted by: Mr Peanut on November 27, 2005 05:26 AM
Since mo was a pedophile, I'd say it's a perfect fit for him. Posted by: Jenny on November 27, 2005 09:21 AM
Artificial nose, artificial chin, why not live on an artificial island? I mean, by now he has become an artificial celebrity. Posted by: Tom M on November 27, 2005 02:53 PM
Yeah, Mo liked 'em young, and liked 'em Jewish. I can just see Osama and Mike huddeling in the cave now. Posted by: Iblis on November 27, 2005 02:54 PM
i have no more word to say..but i just want to say this is Mighty Allah's decision... Posted by: Fakhre on November 30, 2005 02:41 PM
What will he call himself? Karem korned? Posted by: spurwing plover on December 3, 2005 10:21 AM
i think he should turn in to ISLAM a little earlier......... Posted by: qasim on December 6, 2005 01:46 PM
U ALL WHITE BASTARDZ R FULL OV SHIT N CANT ACCEPT DA FACT DT HE IZ GNA CONVERT 2 DA BEST AND TRU RELIGION OV ISLAM, HE HAZ SAVED HIMSEL 4RM DA HELLFIRE WHERE U COCKSUKERZ DT R SAYN FUKD SHIT ABOU ISALM WILL BURN!!!! Posted by: KILL ALL U FUKARZ on December 6, 2005 07:28 PM
U ALL WHITE BASTARDZ R FULL OV SHIT N CANT ACCEPT DA FACT DT HE IZ GNA CONVERT 2 DA BEST AND TRU RELIGION OV ISLAM, HE HAZ SAVED HIMSEL 4RM DA HELLFIRE WHERE U COCKSUKERZ DT R SAYN FUKD SHIT ABOU ISALM WILL BURN!!!! Posted by: KILL ALL U FUKARZ on December 6, 2005 07:30 PM
Micheal i and all the muslims Appreciate you..you are now on the rite way...i.e ISLAM Posted by: Reality on December 7, 2005 11:00 AM
The Islam is growing faster than any other religion. This proves it. Posted by: shadow on December 12, 2005 04:48 AM
Wow. Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. I am a Muslim and I don't really think that Michael belongs with us. He's a peverted little weirdo. Purleeze. You lot are really immature who posted above. I'm 14 and you're probably 20 year old anorak saddos who do nothing but talk on the net all day. Why be so disrespectful about the Muslim religion for? You can have your opinions, but keep your bloody opinions to yourself. You lot are fucktarded boatraces... Posted by: You Don't Need To Know on December 13, 2005 02:32 PM
Hats off 2 michael mashallah!Thts y in islam no1 is aloud 2 call another a non-bleiver cz u neva kno who cn chnge when!Islam truly is da fastest growin religion on eart 2day,n whoeva has negative thoughts on islam i suggest u shud spend jus 1 hr readin abt islam n by da end of the hr ul hv ur head dwn in shame thinkin hw wrng ur views were on islam!All da best!ALLAH IS GREAT! Posted by: Muzlim gurl on December 17, 2005 12:51 PM
Islam -- the religion of pedophiles lol! Posted by: on December 17, 2005 01:07 PM
Well...the website seems to be of a fundamentalist jew or Christian who has no respect and tolerance for other religions...........(look at the comment 'Well, he's already satisfied one of the Five Pillars of Islam (call Jews "leeches") This shows the sick mentality of the web host who highlighted this very comment on the web. Congrats Michael! you are on the rite path. Posted by: ashu on December 22, 2005 08:24 AM
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Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.
TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively
This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..."
[Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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