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November 26, 2005

Michael Jackson: Converting To Islam?

Well, he's already satisfied one of the Five Pillars of Islam (call Jews "leeches"):

American pop star Michael Jackson has officially announced that he has been following the five tenets of Islam and intends to convert to Islam, according to a report on the website of Arab-Israeli newspaper Panorama. The report is based on information elicited from sources in Bahrain.
According to the report, Jackson’s announcement noted he is moving to Bahrain and has purchased some real-estate on an artificial island there. The singer said he decided to convert to Islam because he is convinced it is the closest religion to his personal beliefs.

Jackson also noted he intends to soon move all his assets and his studio from the U.S. to Bahrain, and expressed his hope to be rid of various legal troubles and enjoy the kind of freedom he says he does not have in America.

"The kind of freedom he says he does not have in America?" Uh oh-- you mean Gary Glitter style freedom?

Someone better tell Wacko Jacko those 72 virgins come in the afterlife, not between brunch and dinner.

posted by Ace at 02:58 PM

Comments

Uh, he's like any other Hollywood freak – a fad a day.

Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:03 PM

He needs to immigrate to -- I forgot the name of the country. Arthur Clarke lives there with his boytoys.

Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:05 PM

Clarke lives in Sri Lanka (formerly Ceylon).

As for Jackson emigrating to Bahrain, they can have him. Be curious to see how al Jazeera will spin this into an anti-American screed.

Posted by: Brown Line on November 26, 2005 03:14 PM

Oh, f'n great. That's just what American diplomacy in the Middle East needs.

"Today on al-Jazeera: the plush pederasty paradise of the pasty pedophileof pop! Plus: we ask noted Mullah Al'Cider--should this freak be wearing a veil or not?"

What's the deal with Arthur Clarke? The science fiction guy, you mean?

Posted by: seedub on November 26, 2005 03:17 PM

Yeah, the sci-fi guy. He's a pervert, that's what's up with him. lol!

Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:30 PM

During his last trial there were quite a few stories about his being surrounded by Nation of Islam types so it's not much of a surprise.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on November 26, 2005 03:32 PM

It's common practise that if you are even a minor black celebrity, you hire NOI as bodyguards when you have to go to court.

Posted by: on November 26, 2005 03:40 PM

Is he becoming a real Muslim or the fake pseudo-Muslim "Nation of Islam" type? Will he abstain from pork and "Jesus juice"? How will he lure his prey? Will he honor the usual punishment of execution for the corruption of men or boys? How many Philippine slaves, ooops, I mean servants, will he have? How many wives does he plan to have: the usual Muslim maximum of four or the Saudi maximum (no limit)? Will he pay zakaat on his possessions? Will he go for hajj? How will his face survive under the desert sun if he goes to hajj? Will he give up singing? If he becomes a Muslim will he be a Sunni Muslim like the ruling family or a Shia Muslim like a majority of the people of Bahrain? Does he think Shias are infidels/apostates/hypocrites? Will he speak up for them?

So many questions! He needs to hold a press conference!

Posted by: Muslihoon on November 26, 2005 03:58 PM

Don't they execute pedophiles in muslim countries? His next trial may have a very different ending

Posted by: brak on November 26, 2005 04:00 PM

The singer said he decided to convert to Islam because he is convinced it is the closest religion to his personal beliefs.

This could be the most damning indictment of Islam since the suicide bomb. First Cat Stevens and now Jacko. All the really great talent is fleeing.

Posted by: JackStraw on November 26, 2005 04:01 PM

Yusuf (cat) recently said what really sold him on Islam is the 72 virgins with self healing hymins after screwing. Mo also throws in the bargain 'pretty young boys' 'like pearls' for a little butt nooky when you tire of the healing hymen virgins. Maybe Michael spoke to Mo and Mo agreed to drop the virgins and up the 'pearls.'

Homo sex acts are very common in Islam. The screwer is considered manly, proud and of course the screwee is ridiculed as effeminate and weak. There's a whole culture around it where men keep sissyboy lovers like 'mistresses.' Michael must love that. He fits right in with all those princes and sultans and shieks.

Posted by: John Sobieski on November 26, 2005 10:23 PM

You poor people uneducated about the great religion of Islam (puk) are not aware that the martys will also have YOUNG BOYS in addition to the 72 virgins. It can be VIRGIN BOYS. You pointy head infidels have not thougt of this have you? huh? huh?

Brother Michael will no doubt commit martyrdom by igniting his hair again and walking into a beauty salon while the hair spray is being applied and blow those infidel bitches to INFIDEL HELL!!

May the great Allah (puk) and his only prophet the great MO (puk) get their revenge soon on you worthless camel turds!!

Posted by: Mr Peanut on November 27, 2005 05:26 AM

Since mo was a pedophile, I'd say it's a perfect fit for him.

Posted by: Jenny on November 27, 2005 09:21 AM

Artificial nose, artificial chin, why not live on an artificial island? I mean, by now he has become an artificial celebrity.

Posted by: Tom M on November 27, 2005 02:53 PM

Yeah, Mo liked 'em young, and liked 'em Jewish.

I can just see Osama and Mike huddeling in the cave now.

Posted by: Iblis on November 27, 2005 02:54 PM

i have no more word to say..but i just want to say this is Mighty Allah's decision...
And micheal i am with u and all muslims are with u as all muslims are as a building....
fakhre; ur BIG fan...

Posted by: Fakhre on November 30, 2005 02:41 PM

What will he call himself? Karem korned?

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 3, 2005 10:21 AM

i think he should turn in to ISLAM a little earlier.........

Posted by: qasim on December 6, 2005 01:46 PM

U ALL WHITE BASTARDZ R FULL OV SHIT N CANT ACCEPT DA FACT DT HE IZ GNA CONVERT 2 DA BEST AND TRU RELIGION OV ISLAM, HE HAZ SAVED HIMSEL 4RM DA HELLFIRE WHERE U COCKSUKERZ DT R SAYN FUKD SHIT ABOU ISALM WILL BURN!!!!
FUK ALL UR MUMZZZZZZ>>>>>>>

Posted by: KILL ALL U FUKARZ on December 6, 2005 07:28 PM

Posted by: KILL ALL U FUKARZ on December 6, 2005 07:30 PM

Micheal i and all the muslims Appreciate you..you are now on the rite way...i.e ISLAM

Posted by: Reality on December 7, 2005 11:00 AM

The Islam is growing faster than any other religion. This proves it.

Posted by: shadow on December 12, 2005 04:48 AM

Wow. Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. I am a Muslim and I don't really think that Michael belongs with us. He's a peverted little weirdo. Purleeze.

You lot are really immature who posted above. I'm 14 and you're probably 20 year old anorak saddos who do nothing but talk on the net all day. Why be so disrespectful about the Muslim religion for? You can have your opinions, but keep your bloody opinions to yourself.

You lot are fucktarded boatraces...

Posted by: You Don't Need To Know on December 13, 2005 02:32 PM

Hats off 2 michael mashallah!Thts y in islam no1 is aloud 2 call another a non-bleiver cz u neva kno who cn chnge when!Islam truly is da fastest growin religion on eart 2day,n whoeva has negative thoughts on islam i suggest u shud spend jus 1 hr readin abt islam n by da end of the hr ul hv ur head dwn in shame thinkin hw wrng ur views were on islam!All da best!ALLAH IS GREAT!

Posted by: Muzlim gurl on December 17, 2005 12:51 PM

Islam -- the religion of pedophiles lol!

Posted by: on December 17, 2005 01:07 PM

Well...the website seems to be of a fundamentalist jew or Christian who has no respect and tolerance for other religions...........(look at the comment 'Well, he's already satisfied one of the Five Pillars of Islam (call Jews "leeches") This shows the sick mentality of the web host who highlighted this very comment on the web. Congrats Michael! you are on the rite path.

Posted by: ashu on December 22, 2005 08:24 AM

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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

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TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

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Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.

Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.

Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain

Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more!