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November 03, 2005
FAQ: Where Can I Get A Picture Of David Hasselhof Posing Naked With Some Schnauzers?I get this one all the time. Dave has the answer, and a link to the reasons why Hasselhof is the only idol you need. He also has a list of WashTimes' reporter Bill Gertz's greatest "scoops," including New Advanced Chinese Jet Fighter Can Fly Above Ground, Through Atmosphere. Those crafty, cunning Chinese. There's no end to their nefarious ingenuity. And then he links to Demure Thought's round-up of shit you really didn't need to read, which notes that you can now buy a Vincent Gallo sperm sample on eBay. What a ripoff. There are sections of SoHo that you can barely walk through without stepping into a Vincent Gallo sperm sample. Thanks to utron for tipping me to this. posted by Ace at 04:34 PM
CommentsThanks to Utron *indeed*-- wow, it's a Festivus miracle! Mucho gracias, Ace. You're worth every PayPal penny, pal. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2005 04:41 PM
Those are Shar Pei, not Schnauzers. At least that's the last thing I remember seeing before I went blind forever. Damn you, Ace. Damn you, Dave. Damn you both to hell. Posted by: Phinn on November 3, 2005 04:51 PM
Dave got a link out of this? Wow. The Festivus spirit is really permeating this corner of the blogosphere. It kind of reminds me of the boiled cabbage my mom used to make for Festivus, as well as most other nights of the week. Posted by: utron on November 3, 2005 04:54 PM
Yep, I already gouged out my retinas with my red Bic round stic. It was much less painful than the searing the Hasselhoff pic caused. Now to simply cut off my skull cap and scrub my brain with a claw hammer. Posted by: compos mentis on November 3, 2005 04:58 PM
Those are Shar Pei, not Schnauzers. It's hard to know for sure. Things wrinkle when they shrink and that image could have had the same effect on the dogs as it did to me. Posted by: scott on November 3, 2005 05:38 PM
Something is terribly wrong with Germany. That photo has no right to exist. The photographer has no right to have been born, and the lighting assistants should have disappeared into transdimensional vortices the moment they each finished filling out their job applications. As impossible as the existence of that photo is, after its improbable creation those puppies should have been destroyed. The site of the photo should have been razed, burned, buried under two meters of salt and cordoned off with armed guards preventing any from entering. And Ace and Dave are finding embarrassingly naked men just a little too blogworthy lately. Posted by: lauraw on November 3, 2005 05:38 PM
You think David is whispering to the puppy in his lap "Let's talk about the first thing that pops up." ? Or maybe "Take that, bitch". Posted by: BrewFan on November 3, 2005 06:15 PM
Things wrinkle when they shrink Truer words were never spoken. Posted by: skinbad on November 3, 2005 06:47 PM
Someone please tell me this wasn't taken in Enumclaw WA... Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 4, 2005 02:25 AM
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Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.
Ryan Long goes to the No Kings rally to pick up young liberal hotties and is greatly disappointed in the quality of the mish
thanks to stevey You know we "joke" about the GOPe just "conserving" leftist things? I couldn't hate this queen of the cuck-chair more if it paid seven figures and came with a corner office.
In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.
In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023. He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.
Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
Great marketing arranged by Amazon to promote Project Hail Mary. Okay not really but it does work out that way.
What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)* Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown. A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask). * Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV. Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR. Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him. LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR. Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too. LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others. But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring: "But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said." In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power." I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron. Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring. I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do. But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]
Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."
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