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November 03, 2005
FAQ: Where Can I Get A Picture Of David Hasselhof Posing Naked With Some Schnauzers?I get this one all the time. Dave has the answer, and a link to the reasons why Hasselhof is the only idol you need. He also has a list of WashTimes' reporter Bill Gertz's greatest "scoops," including New Advanced Chinese Jet Fighter Can Fly Above Ground, Through Atmosphere. Those crafty, cunning Chinese. There's no end to their nefarious ingenuity. And then he links to Demure Thought's round-up of shit you really didn't need to read, which notes that you can now buy a Vincent Gallo sperm sample on eBay. What a ripoff. There are sections of SoHo that you can barely walk through without stepping into a Vincent Gallo sperm sample. Thanks to utron for tipping me to this. posted by Ace at 04:34 PM
CommentsThanks to Utron *indeed*-- wow, it's a Festivus miracle! Mucho gracias, Ace. You're worth every PayPal penny, pal. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2005 04:41 PM
Those are Shar Pei, not Schnauzers. At least that's the last thing I remember seeing before I went blind forever. Damn you, Ace. Damn you, Dave. Damn you both to hell. Posted by: Phinn on November 3, 2005 04:51 PM
Dave got a link out of this? Wow. The Festivus spirit is really permeating this corner of the blogosphere. It kind of reminds me of the boiled cabbage my mom used to make for Festivus, as well as most other nights of the week. Posted by: utron on November 3, 2005 04:54 PM
Yep, I already gouged out my retinas with my red Bic round stic. It was much less painful than the searing the Hasselhoff pic caused. Now to simply cut off my skull cap and scrub my brain with a claw hammer. Posted by: compos mentis on November 3, 2005 04:58 PM
Those are Shar Pei, not Schnauzers. It's hard to know for sure. Things wrinkle when they shrink and that image could have had the same effect on the dogs as it did to me. Posted by: scott on November 3, 2005 05:38 PM
Something is terribly wrong with Germany. That photo has no right to exist. The photographer has no right to have been born, and the lighting assistants should have disappeared into transdimensional vortices the moment they each finished filling out their job applications. As impossible as the existence of that photo is, after its improbable creation those puppies should have been destroyed. The site of the photo should have been razed, burned, buried under two meters of salt and cordoned off with armed guards preventing any from entering. And Ace and Dave are finding embarrassingly naked men just a little too blogworthy lately. Posted by: lauraw on November 3, 2005 05:38 PM
You think David is whispering to the puppy in his lap "Let's talk about the first thing that pops up." ? Or maybe "Take that, bitch". Posted by: BrewFan on November 3, 2005 06:15 PM
Things wrinkle when they shrink Truer words were never spoken. Posted by: skinbad on November 3, 2005 06:47 PM
Someone please tell me this wasn't taken in Enumclaw WA... Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 4, 2005 02:25 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?
Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust. Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
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