| Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Gavin Newsom Directs $19 Million in California Taxpayer Money to Madison Avenue to Improve California's Reputation -- Just as Gavin Newsom Is Running for President and Personally Needs California's Image to be Remade
Sons and Nieces of High-Ranking Islamic Occupation Army of Iran Officials Have Been Living High on the Hog In the US -- But Are Now Getting Their Satanic Asses Deported Back to Their Homeland Hellhole Chinese Spy Humper and Treasonous Russia Hoaxer Eric Swalwell Accused of Sexual Harassment and Misusing Funds Schmoll: In 2006, Democrats Led in Net Favorability by 18 Points. In 2018, by 12. And Now? Republicans Lead by Five. Tuq'r Qarlson Attacks Trump: "No President Should Mock Islam" Also Trots Out His New Demented Theory That Trump Might Be the Actual Literal Antichrist of the Book of Revelations Iran Media Celebrates the Great Islamic Victory in Rescue of F-15 WSO; Joe Kent Spreads Iran Propaganda Lie That US Was Attempting to Kill the Weapons Officer Rather Than Rescue Him The Morning Rant Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 4/7/26 Daily Tech News 7 April 2026 Absent Friends
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Wet Hot Mixed-Blood Bitches In Heat!!! |
Main
| NYCLU: Bag Searches Are Illegal, Except When You're Entering Our Headquarters »
November 03, 2005
Urban Legend Update: Alligators In the Sewers? ConfirmedOkay, it's not quite an alligator. It's a tegus, but it's plenty scary enough:
Via Fark, a monster reptile in the toilet scares a three-year-old: The youngster was lucky that his mother had come along to open and raise the toilet seat. The startled woman found a carnivorous teju, or tegus, a large black and yellow South American lizard, lurking there newspaper Bergensavisen reports. In a follow-up story, the family has reported the three year old has decided to wear diapers until he's 40. Actually, I have as well. Because the other day when I was going to the bathroom, this jumped out of the toilet:
He said he just wanted to "borrow some dental floss," but I'm not sure I believe him. There was just something about him that seemed untrustworthy. He had those "shifty balls" that always give liars away. posted by Ace at 03:48 PM
CommentsThat poor kid is gonna need years of therapy. Posted by: on November 3, 2005 03:53 PM
Kid? You mean Ace, don't you? Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:00 PM
There was just something about him that seemed untrustworthy. He had those "shifty balls" that always give liars away. Oh, come on now! Be fair. He was merely adjusting himself. Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:03 PM
This is exactly the type of high quality posting that keeps me coming back for more. Posted by: compos mentis on November 3, 2005 04:13 PM
Please tell me someone visiting this site saw the movie Waiting. Because if they did, I'd be able to refer to the sight of actor Luis Guzman's scrotum, and let you know that DOESN'T COMPARE to Spiderman's. . . thing. Ugh. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2005 04:17 PM
No, I did not see the movie Waiting, Dave. But can you sound any more gay?? Okay, I know the problem. NO MORE LOOKING AT THE PHOTO. Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:20 PM
Great. Naked Testicle Spiderman is all over this site, and Dave at Garfield Ridge is posting pictures of David Hasselhoff getting it on with wrinkly dogs. I'm going to start cruising the Internet in Braille. Posted by: utron on November 3, 2005 04:23 PM
Yeah Dave, I definitely agree with utron on this one. That Hasselhoff pic was just plain f'ed up dude. Gives me the heebie-geebies just thinking about it. Bleah. Time to go shower with a sand blaster and some hydrochloric acid. Posted by: compos mentis on November 3, 2005 04:30 PM
Ace of Spades and Garfield Ridge: come for the humor, stay for the psychological damage. Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:35 PM
Like you've never seen a true Hollywood action star surrounded by puppies before without turning all gay. Oh grow up. Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2005 04:44 PM
Ace of Spades and Garfield Ridge: come for the humor, stay for the psychological damage.So, so true. Posted by: someone on November 3, 2005 05:28 PM
They're all over! Alligators that is, not naked Spiderpeople. Posted by: BrewFan on November 3, 2005 06:26 PM
That's hot! Posted by: Paris Hilton on November 3, 2005 07:22 PM
Dang it! That was *NOT* safe for work!!! Posted by: Mary in LA on November 3, 2005 08:09 PM
OH HOW IGUANA GO HOME i,ll bet misses all its little lizards Posted by: spurwing plover on November 3, 2005 09:30 PM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.
Ryan Long goes to the No Kings rally to pick up young liberal hotties and is greatly disappointed in the quality of the mish
thanks to stevey You know we "joke" about the GOPe just "conserving" leftist things? I couldn't hate this queen of the cuck-chair more if it paid seven figures and came with a corner office.
In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.
In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023. He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.
Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
Great marketing arranged by Amazon to promote Project Hail Mary. Okay not really but it does work out that way.
What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)* Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown. A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask). * Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV. Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR. Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him. LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR. Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too. LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others. But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring: "But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said." In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power." I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron. Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring. I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do. But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD] Recent Comments
Duke Lowell :
"Gavin is a putz. ..."
Xinnie the Poo: "I wonder how many bombs we will have left when thi ..." man: "That’s Spaceballs, right? Never saw it. Any ..." TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films: "323 That’s Spaceballs, right? Never saw it. ..." It's me donna : "Just what we need... A Druish Princess... ..." man: "It would be nice if hetero males ran the fashion w ..." TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films: "320 i was trying to think of it too. All I could t ..." tubal: "That’s Spaceballs, right? Never saw it. Any ..." Auspex: " Rope-a-dope sort of worked for Ali, letting the ..." man: "Hey, I'm ok being...fourth? ..." ace: ">>>6 I was gonna sock the John Candy character, bu ..." It's me donna : "Mel Brooks was really funny ..." Bloggers in Arms
RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
|