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November 03, 2005

Urban Legend Update: Alligators In the Sewers? Confirmed

Okay, it's not quite an alligator. It's a tegus, but it's plenty scary enough:

Via Fark, a monster reptile in the toilet scares a three-year-old:

The youngster was lucky that his mother had come along to open and raise the toilet seat. The startled woman found a carnivorous teju, or tegus, a large black and yellow South American lizard, lurking there newspaper Bergensavisen reports.
...

The Akvariet (aquarium) in Bergen was called, and reptile expert Remi Andersen paid a house call. He confirmed that the animal in the apartment in the Nordnes district of Bergen was a 1.5 kilo (3.3 lb) teju.

The teju is capable of holding its breath for half an hour, which probably explains how it managed to navigate its way through the sewer and up into the family toilet. The family is lucky they looked, rather than sat, first.

"The chances are greater that the lizard would have taken a bite out of someone's 'ham', than that it wouldn't have," Akvariet director Kees Ekeli told Bergensavisen.

In a follow-up story, the family has reported the three year old has decided to wear diapers until he's 40.

Actually, I have as well. Because the other day when I was going to the bathroom, this jumped out of the toilet:

He said he just wanted to "borrow some dental floss," but I'm not sure I believe him. There was just something about him that seemed untrustworthy. He had those "shifty balls" that always give liars away.

posted by Ace at 03:48 PM

Comments

That poor kid is gonna need years of therapy.

Posted by: on November 3, 2005 03:53 PM

Kid? You mean Ace, don't you?

Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:00 PM

There was just something about him that seemed untrustworthy. He had those "shifty balls" that always give liars away.

Oh, come on now! Be fair. He was merely adjusting himself.

Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:03 PM

This is exactly the type of high quality posting that keeps me coming back for more.

Posted by: compos mentis on November 3, 2005 04:13 PM

Please tell me someone visiting this site saw the movie Waiting. Because if they did, I'd be able to refer to the sight of actor Luis Guzman's scrotum, and let you know that DOESN'T COMPARE to Spiderman's. . . thing.

Ugh.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2005 04:17 PM

No, I did not see the movie Waiting, Dave. But can you sound any more gay??

Okay, I know the problem. NO MORE LOOKING AT THE PHOTO.

Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:20 PM

Great. Naked Testicle Spiderman is all over this site, and Dave at Garfield Ridge is posting pictures of David Hasselhoff getting it on with wrinkly dogs. I'm going to start cruising the Internet in Braille.

Posted by: utron on November 3, 2005 04:23 PM

Yeah Dave, I definitely agree with utron on this one. That Hasselhoff pic was just plain f'ed up dude. Gives me the heebie-geebies just thinking about it. Bleah. Time to go shower with a sand blaster and some hydrochloric acid.

Posted by: compos mentis on November 3, 2005 04:30 PM

Ace of Spades and Garfield Ridge: come for the humor, stay for the psychological damage.

Posted by: on November 3, 2005 04:35 PM

Like you've never seen a true Hollywood action star surrounded by puppies before without turning all gay.

Oh grow up.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2005 04:44 PM

Ace of Spades and Garfield Ridge: come for the humor, stay for the psychological damage.

So, so true.

Posted by: someone on November 3, 2005 05:28 PM

They're all over! Alligators that is, not naked Spiderpeople.

Posted by: BrewFan on November 3, 2005 06:26 PM

That's hot!

Posted by: Paris Hilton on November 3, 2005 07:22 PM

Dang it! That was *NOT* safe for work!!!
I should have known. (grumble grumble grumble)
[hastily clearing browser cache]

Posted by: Mary in LA on November 3, 2005 08:09 PM

OH HOW IGUANA GO HOME i,ll bet misses all its little lizards

Posted by: spurwing plover on November 3, 2005 09:30 PM