you can also make a drinking game out of how many times he puts his hands on his hips

This is a "dog bites man" story. Fox has been getting bad press for years, and yet they still keep whipping up on the other networks. Hell, Fox even makes fun of itself in shows like The Simpsons, Futurama, and Married With Children.

Rupert Murdoch reads stories like this on his luxury yacht, laughs in a troll-like fashion, and then uses the wadded-up story to wipe his ass.

I love the bits on the original CSI when the hardened, seen-it-all investigators run into something or someone that goes to an 11 on their weird-o-meters.

The "plushy" episode was one, the two "Lady Heather" episodes (I want to see her again - great with Grissom) were fun, too.

Then there was the smart, sexy doctor lady who made people shakes...

Caruso was a great actor before, at least when given good material. Now he spouts cop show cliches in a studied, Zen like state and looks bored, like he's collecting a paycheck. It doesn't help that the show is contrived, glossy crap that is as close to actual law enforcement as "Aliens" was to the Marine Corps. Real crime scene guys do not conduct suspect interviews, do not make arrests, and do not boss detectives around.

It was the hands-on-hips thing I was thinking about when I mentioned his "vogue-ing body language."

Every episode he strikes this effeminate hand-on-hips pose, pelvis slightly out (what's that all about?), at least once.

I'm telling you, he's trying to tell us something.

I like CSI Miami for the scenery. But Caruso is fun to make fun of.
Horatio, you forgot your anal lubeeeeee!

Great point about Caruso RE: sunglasses. He reminds me of that Alec Baldwin SNL skit where he was acting, and all his acting mannerisms focused on him removing his glasses while answering a phone in an exagerrated style.

Oh, and Family Guy is farrr more family friendly than, say, 60 Minutes II. At least in *my* household.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Yeah, the "plushy" episode full of "scurfing and yurfing" (spelling and reality?) was indeed one that is burned into my memory.

CBS has went full on crazy. Like on NCIS where the sniper shot one of the main characters in the head. I thought I was watching 24 (oh, how I miss that show. As great as it is, and it is great, there are numerous ways to make fun of it. Dave from Garfield Ridge and John from Wuzzadem did a good job of it last season.)

The networks have abandoned families in favor of the sex freaks and smut minded dirty old men and even FOX and gone rotten its no winder whats happening to this nation after what passes as enteraiment

CSI:NY is awesome, though. I dont think there are many better actors than Gary Sinise. I know I spelled that wrong, sorry. But that guy is great. Plus they got that gal from Providence (a show I never watched, but she is hot.) It's the long hair. Love it.

Anyone remember "Robbery-Homicide", a Micheal Mann created show that CBS gave the yank after about 5 episodes? It was great, had the same feel as "Heat" and "Collateral", and the network shitcanned it. TV execs kill smart shows right away if they don't get great ratings, but will come out with "CSI: Wildwood, FL," and garbage like "Commander in Chief" without a moment's guilt.

I think Crime Story was the absolute best crime drama ever (at least so far, although HBO's The Wire is excellent too).

If they gave an award for mannered acting...- named after Bill Shatner... Caruso... (takes sunglasses off) should... get it. (Puts sunglasses back on.)

I think Crime Story was the absolute best crime drama ever

Wasn't that show on in the 80's with Dennis Farrina? Took place in the late 50's or something? That was a good show.

My vote for best crime drama was "Homicide: Life on the Streets". I've never seen such a brilliant combination of writing and acting before or since.

DB:

Yeah, that was the one. Good news: it's out on DVD now.

"Robbery/Homicide" was a great show, but considering it's star was......TOM FREAKIN' SIZEMORE...... it was just a matter of time before a tragic onset shooting/ass-eating episode took out the whole cast.

If you folks likes your cop dramas hard-bitten and street-wise, and would love to see naked boobies and f-bombs, then do tune in to see HBO's The Wire. It's probably the best cop show I've seen in the last ten or fifteen years -- great ensemble cast, great writing, and lots of naked boobies, profanity, and violence.

I caught the first two seasons on DVD and am anxiously awaiting the third. This show beats The Sopranos by a mile, in my opinion.

I loved Crime Story, but it was all style. CSI is great and it making a hell of a lot of money. Sure beats a stupid reality or game show or one of your has-been rock star contests.

The best show is The Shield. It has all the players -- actors/writers/directors from Homicide, Life in the Street by the way.

Monty, if you liked Crime Story, I'm guessing you also liked WiseGuy?
Good '80's television.

I liked the first season of Wiseguy, but it kind of went downhill from there. I always figured it should have been a miniseries instead of a regular show. But yeah, that was a good one. Even Miami Vice had its moments, although I wish they'd have focused more on Edward James Olmos' character instead of fucking Don Johnson.

Heard good stuff about The Shield; I'll give it a shot on DVD sometime. (DVD is the only way to go for serial TV, by the way -- I don't even bother with cable any more. I just wait for the shows to come out on DVD. No commercials, good picture, good sound.)

And it's not really a cop drama, but Barney Miller was the absolute shit back in the bell-bottom days.

You're right about DVD's. That's why I joined Netflix. So far so good.

What drives me insane about CSI:Miami is the sheer opulence if the depicted PD facilities. The interiors, including the labs, are better looking than most executive suite in corporate offices. All of the cops drive factory fresh monster SUVs, including Hummers. And the software they use has fabulous visual designs the like of which cost millions to develop and test to the level required for public safety and liability assessment clearance.

I've had some experience with the software developed for the police market. It includes some of the worst GUIs I've ever encountered. I realize the show lays on a lot of glitz to keep the audience interested but they really go overboard on that show.

Oh yes, Barney Miller is in my top five of best sitcoms ever. Maybe even the top of the list.

Seconding the vote for The Shield.

I don't mind the GUI's on those shows -- everything is supposed to look cooler on TV and in movies (when's the last time you saw even someone on a budget with a non-flatscreen monitor?) -- but I HAAAAATE the absurd computer programs.

It seems they just have off-the-rack fully-three-D map databases for everything. "Okay, find the areas where there's the kind of mud we found on the vic's face. (3-D map shows hundreds of locations.) Okay, now limit the map to places within six blocks of a Chuck-E-Cheese. (3-D map shows ten locations.) Okay, now crossreference that against places where it would be romantic to have a picnic while playing Chicago's Sunday In the Park (I think it was the Fourth of July). (Map shows three places.) Okay, now let's go check those places out-- that's where our vic was killed." (Musical stinger, act break.)

Give me a fucking break.

BTW, it's an old movie cliche that when you're hunting for someone, you always have two misses before you hit. It's the Rule of The Third Cold-Call.

Looking for a guy who sells machineguns? Johnny the Snake-- nope, he's in prison. Slugs McGee? Died two years ago. "Doctor Firepower" -- well, it looks like he was in town when the weapon was sold.

Ace:

My favorite cop-movie cliche is where the bad guys bring in the "professional killer" from out of town to kill the good guy. This killer is supposedly the best around, the #1 guy in his field. You always get the framing shot through the stadia of the scope, centered on the hero's head.

But then...this pro, this fucking genius killer, misses the shot. Every goddam time. The most egregious scene of this kind I can remember was in the movie Outland, where the dipshit sniper compounded his stupidity by firing into a window and causing explosive decompression (all of this taking place on an outer space mining colony, where you'd think the killer would know better).

Wait, Slugs McGee died?

Blah, blah, blah.

No votes for Cop Rock? THAT is what crime drama should be. And Caruso's androgeny would have blended nicely.

Hm. I'm just glad the list didn't mention House, M.D. as one of the worst shows. Hugh Laurie kicks ass.

Network television is a blight upon society.

The only good thing that can be said for any of these dramas is "At least it's not a reality show." Oh, and Gary Sinese...but even he isn't enough to get me to watch.

CSI and "Law And Order" iterations...jump the shark already, why don't you, so network execs can start considering VARIETY as an option.

Oo oo - cop shows in our zeitgeist? Remember Hong Kong Fooey? Now that was a crime fightin odd couple. Hooee.

I always liked Boomtown.
Kind of a Rashamon Cop show.
Same crime from several viewpoints.

I have the DVD set... I recommend it.

if one was determined to become a degenerate alcoholic within the span of a 60 minute crime drama.

Silk Stalkings.

The bad guy (or girl) in every episode never saw a jail cell. They usually wound up dead or on rare occasions they would escape and wind up dead on a following episode. And if you thought the PD interior was ridiculous in CSI: Miami, you should have watched that show. It looked like a bad 80's nightclub. If I watched it today, I would be hanging on the edge of my seat waiting for "YMCA" to start blasting in the background.

Dude, Boomtown was the shiznit.
Anyone who wants to see the gritty reality of a cop's life should watch that show. (Plus, I think marky mark does a rap solo at the end of each show....I digress)

Seriously though, rent boomtown. there was only one season, but it was fuckin phenominal.

I once made a pretty damn cool website for the lauch of CSI in the uk, we also made a mailpack that got us into deep trouble with the advertising standards agency, the gist of the site and mailout was that theres a serial killer murdering people with YOUR name.
Heres a link to the site I made (be sure to have your ears on) http://www.csiny-carboncopy.com