Sweet indeed.

One of the 10 proposals should include pay-per-view nude Mud Wrestling featuring Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman. She'd finally be doing something entertaining and I'd love to him get his ass whipped.

Finally release the porn video of the entire NYTimes staff giving Bill Clinton fellatio.

Also second in their continuing series of Pay-per view events, Maureen Dowd and Hillary! ™ wrestle in K-Y jelly.

I don't know, Ace. There's something just, well, "right" about ending the list at #3. It's kind of a metaphysical nuanced uh... homilies that symbolizes the utter hopelessness of the Times being saved when facing such a hard, fact-orientated world.

Or something like that.

#4?

No.

No, no, no, no, nooooo.

No.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

I think she's kind of hot - in that "still trying to hold on to her cheerleading youth, but in reality is a dirty, dirty girl" kind of way.

"4. Rejuvenate interest in Maureen Dowd by simple policy: everytime she drops a juvenile reference to a tv series on HBO or Showtime, she has to 'show raw nip'"

I'm de-linking you.

On a whim, I googled "Maureen Dowd nude" (but not in quotes) and was SHOCKED, SHOCKED that Ann Althouse was #1 and not Ace...

Your search - "maureen dowd" "raw nip" - did not match any documents.

That will change once the Google-bot finds this page.

Bastard.

Excellent! You haven't written anything this funny in a couple months!

4. Rejuvenate interest in Maureen Dowd by simple policy: everytime she drops a juvenile reference to a tv series on HBO or Showtime, she has to "show raw nip"

First, they'd better rejuvenate Maureen Dowd. Didn't she used to go out with President Bartlett?

No, she went out with a much older man-- Michael Douglas.

No, she went out with a much older man-- Michael Douglas.

I stand corrected. Sheen, Douglas, Kerry--all those guys kind of blur together.

Whoa.... What's wrong with the Boston Pops?

... Besides their being from Boston I mean.

Re: #7

How come Von Kreedon didn't make the list?

MH, I think its because Von Kreep still has a hinge.

Great indeed this is the best yet the infamous New York Pravda is losing readers in fact even their birds dont want it at the bottom of their cages

Vinny Falcone won't be available. Take my word for it.

How about a Cosmo-type cover? "10 places your man wants you to touch". That kinda crap!

Wouldn't you hate to be the GM for the NYT? I mean, you've got a thoroughly mediocre team whose popularity is due solely to its once glorious past. Kind of like the Washington Redskins. You want to get out in front, but you'd be looking at firing longtime personnel with dedicated (if unbalanced) followings (Krugman and Dowd, at the minimum) and going through a humiliating next few years.

Strategically, this is where I think they should go:

1. Fire the editors, hire replacements whose sole purpose is to edit and select stories that provide news without analysis.

2. Suspend the practice of issuing editorials. There was a notorious incident a few years ago where the NYT actually endorsed the Boston Red Sox to win the AL Pennant over the New York Times ... without telling the readers that the NYT Co. was a partial owner of the Red Sox. Until the editors clean up their act, the newspaper shouldn't be issuing opinions.

3. Fire Krugman and Dowd. All these people do is spew invective. If one must, hire a real economist who actually does interesting and compelling research. As for replacing Dowd, get a professional female comedien (gotta maintain the quota). At least the column will be entertaining.

4. Get someone like Bill Parcells to run the place in order to cut the egos down to size. The main problem, over and beyond the liberal bias, is the sheer arrogance of the people in the organization. They truly believe they are the standard of modern-day journalism.

5. Get real conservatives in the opinion pages, not the watered-down New York types. And then have them debate your "first-team" liberals. I'm sure people like Thomas Sowell and Michelle Malkin would be happy to help the NYT out. If the adventures of the Krugman Truth Squad are any indication, I think the rest of the NYT columnists will be in a run for their money. And it would give conservatives a reason to at least a reason to visit the website.

Oops, I meant to say, "...the NYT actually endorsed the Boston Red Sox to win the AL Pennant over the New York Yankees..."

Stupidity is its own reward (and punishment).

1. New managing editor in chief: Vinne Fuckin' Falcone

Vinnie would run a tight paper. No loose shit. The guys would get shirts, the guys would wear those shirts, and the cut-off on My Way would be fucking clean.
NYT, don't make a maniac outta me.

Here's an idea: revamp the "Times Select" program so that for your $49.95/year, you never have to hear anything from Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman and Frank Rich ever again.

Never. Ever. Again. And for an extra ten bucks, they'll slap duct tape across the mouth of your least favorite Times columnist for good measure.

They'll be back in the black in no time. And the climate of big-media journalism will be greatly improved in the bargain...

The part that baffles me the most is how they lost this profit potential partially due to expenses related to job cuts! What the fuck? I thought you fired people to save money. Gotta be a pretty piss-poor CFO to fuck that up.

And I'd totally fuck the shit out of Dowd. Damn right she'd be ball-gagged...

Finally, EricTheRed21, I will beat you in the skull with a Redskins helmet while I force you to toss Daniel Snyder's salad.

Gee, I would think one of the proposals they'd consider is, "Actually begin to practice investigative journalism."

Chad, two words: absolutely nothing. That's why they're so out of place on PBS. (Can anyone say, "Journal Editorial Report"?)

"urban liberal media professionals"...

If you swapped liberal and urban, we could call them LUMPies...

Make it a little more attractive to the birds that have it on the bottom of their cages

Google found it.

Win a Dream Date With Frank Rich
Since Frank's amovie critic, I vant to be alone. I think I have never been so tired in my life.