So, they kill some surfers. What's the problem?

I mean, surfers don't vote, and if they do, they don't vote Republican.

*yawn*

Sir,

Fortunately, once again the enlightened Left, this time as environmentalists, are way ahead of the ossified Right in appeasing our enemies, in this case, the dolphin. Remember, for years they have been agitating for "dolphin-free" tuna. As their "it's our fault, we are sorry, please don't kill our children" campaign (also known as the French Strategy or the Chambelain Defense) to appease the Islamofascists is catching fire, they are well-placed to negotiate a peace with these angry porpi. While the vast majority of red state Americans were greedily enjoying dolphin casserole, the Left was vocally decrying this culinary holocaust. Hopefully, this will appease our dolphin masters.

Courage.

rcl

"Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. "

So the Navy had a major hurricane comming, and couldn't be bothered to remove the harnesses?

Ya know, just in case they got out?

couldn't be bothered to remove the harnesses?

Katrina was just an excuse to cut'em loose. Obviously, they're now swimming at warp speed down to Venezuela to take a crack at whacking you.know.who.

Anyone who watches the late-late-late movie knew this was going to happen.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0069946/

I, for one, welcome our new porpoise overlords. Fa loves Pa!

Sharpen the tridents. Mend the nets.

Heat the broiler. Melt the butter. Chop the dill.

Obviously, they're now swimming at warp speed down to Venezuela to take a crack at whacking you.know.who.

Voldemort?

Were they were locked and loaded as they escaped? We know just enough about this to know that we don't know enough about to know if it has any significance. How englightening

As a ded-ee-cated enviro-wacko, it is only fair that we equip all animals with weapons.

Its not like they come with teeth and claws and such.

Ok, 4 legs good, 2 legs bad - that I know.

The new part is what - any number of fins bad?

Slow news day?

Doc-- you know that it is simply required that you now link the classic Onion story: Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs.

"Oh, Shit," Says Humanity.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Darts? Boring.

Now if they had LASERS, that'd be interesting.

Capt. Ed beat me to it.

FAAAAA GOOO NOOOW

Hi, this post is all about dolphins, REAL DOLPHINS. This post is awesome. My name is Anonymous and I can't stop thinking about dolphins. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:
1. Dolphins are mammals.
2. Dolphins fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the dolphin is to flip out and kill people.

Testimonial:
Dolphins can kill anyone they want! Dolphins cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this dolphin who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the dolphin killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a dolphin totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know, but it seems highly unlikely to me that the dolphins would be "armed" at all times. I would imagine they only wear the harnesses on missions or while specifically in training, and that a 72 year old accident investigator wouldn't necessarily have the most reliable take on the matter.

Hypocrites.

So the Navy had a major hurricane comming, and couldn't be bothered to remove the harnesses?

Also, put yourself in the Navy's place. You've spent months training these dolphins to shoot toxic darts at surfers. Wouldn't you have a secret desire to see Flipper get out and raise some hell?

Sounds like a one-shot weapon to me, unless there's like, a clip with more darts in it.

The next move will be to teach them to handle crew-served weapons.

We're done for if they get those.

Has GREENPEACE pushed these critters beyond their own good nature? holly flipper batman those polphins are out to blw holes in GREENPEACE zodiacs

a 72 year old accident investigator wouldn't necessarily have the most reliable take on the matter.

Got a better shot with the guy than Dan Rather...