Funny, but the folks that I know who went to Europe in those formative years came back yearning for good old fashioned US of A creature comforts - like A/C in the summer, stores that were actually open during the day instead of having 3 hour midday breaks, and knowing that Big Macs were called Big Macs, not le Big Mac. 1/4 pounders with cheese are 1/4 pounders with cheese, not Royale's with cheese.

Yeah, same thing happened to a gf of mine who went to Europe for a summer when she was in high school. She made up her mind then that she preferred Europe to the US and set out making sure she'd end up there. And, she did.

Nothing wrong with that. Europe's a nice place. I wouldn't want to live there (except for Switzerland), but I can understand why someone would.

Hey Ace. Paris is in France. I think Miss. Paltrow said she went to Spain.

Just nitpicking.

See, I went to another country when I was fifteen and stuff? So I'm all, like, sophisticated and you know?

Here's an odd coincidence: Gwynneth Paltrow pisses on the USA, and I scratch Proof off the list of movies I'll be seeing this fall. Funny how that works.

Europe is SO much more mature, with it's World Wars, genocide and totalitarinism and all that....

Can we cut this "America is a young country" crap already?

Our country and constitution are decades and decades older than France's or Germany's. We've held it together while other countries have torn themselves apart with both civil and good ol' regular wars.

Christ, being lectured about how grand Europe is is REALLY getting old. Get back to me when you have a full calendar century without a holocaust, aight?

Back in the day I was in love with this woman's mother. Ever see The Great Santini? Fantastic.

Ewww- Moonbat One-experience of two years: you know all those pretty yards and flowers-the Swiss HAVE to do that...there is no "soul" to it. They are the most anal retentive, near-nervous breakdown (which is why they have a plot of land in the country to go on the weekend -I know, it's where I chose to live) , rude , aloof people I have ever met. A perfect example-an Argentinian on secondement and I were in the cafeteria and someone passed out and fell on the floor. We jumped up-not another soul made a move until we got to her. Yeah- Switzerland is a great place to look at...and that's it. Oh and if you go there to live-you better have a lot o' money.

I've had friends who have lived in Germany, France, and England. To a person, they tell the same story: Europe is kind of like the world's attic. If you like art galleries, museums, libraries, and subsidized (although often substandard) housing, then Europe is the way to go.

However, they also point out that the taxes are out of this world, it's almost impossible to get a decent job (you basically have to wait for someone to die), and flocks of immigrants from North Africa have turned large swaths of the suburbs of big cities into DMZs where no one pale of face dares to go after dark. (Read up a bit on the banlieues of Paris.) The nonviolent crime rate -- burglary especially -- is off the charts, even when compared to American cities like New York or L.A. And in particular cities (Paris and London), the violent crime rate is even outstripping their American counterparts. There is also a huge drug problem in Europe's cities right now, a far worse one than any politicians will admit to. Cheap heroin is turning a whole generation of European young people into zombies.

America isn't for the lazy, but if you're willing to work, it's a lot better in the long run. Europe is headed for a huge fall in the next decade or two unless they change some of their social policies in fairly short order.

Oh, and Gwneth Paltrow is not only a loon, but is kind of fugly anyway. Move to Europe, by all means -- uglify their gene pool.

I also lived in Spain, for a year, then another half-year, to teach myself Spanish, and because I was so pissed about Clinton being elected. (I actually followed through on my threat to move out of the country if that bum got elected!)
My views on the failures of socialism were affirmed, not just by me but by my Spanish friends, who detested socialism and socialists. I also saw terror first-hand, actually present for one murderous car-bombing by ETA and witness to the destruction of others after the fact.
Perhaps most enlightening was seeing how the rest of the world learns about the USA- through the eyes of OUR media, not theirs. So all of the negativity and craziness that sells, instead of the reality that we know, that is the freakshow that the world sees of us.

I went to Europe for college and turned out just fine.

...uh, wait, I also just wrote a haiku about a guy sucking another guy's dick.

(reconsidering)

Damn european influence !!

Lawhawk,

You intrigue me. Why would a quarter pounder with cheese be called a Royale with cheese?

As for Europe - I been on a trip to England. It was okay, but I was really glad to get back home and it made me appreciate what we have here.

Urk. I been = I've been

Enas Yorl,

Not a fan of Pulp Fiction, I see.

Vincent: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Jules: They don't call it Quarter Pounder?
Vincent: Naw, man, they got the metric system over there. They don't know what the fuck a quarter pound is. They call it a Royale with cheese!

/The more you know!

In terms of social reality / fending for one's self, going to Europe is like spending the night as a kid at your friend's house - the one with the mom who orders pizza and lets you eat all the cookies and sugary crap that you'd like:

Sure, it's great fun and makes you wish your own pain in the ass cauliflower cookin' mother was different. You might even wish you lived at HIS house, but in the end you're damn lucky your parents give a crap and are trying to do what's best for you (instead of what's easy).

Otherwise you'd end up so hopped up on sugar you'd be acting like a gerbil on crack.

Errmm. Like the Europeans...

I don't know about Europe itself having that much influence. I'm sure we've all heard people say that they're going to Europe to "find themselves" (as opposed to those that just go for sight-seeing, or business purposes.) These people are selecting Europe because it fits their preconceptions.

Monty:

Correctamundo!

I have no desire to convince her with reasonable debate why she is incorrect so in the fashion of a Hitchens/Galloway debate I will just point out that Paltrow has cankles.

Forgot another great thing about Europe: Guys playing with their dicks on subways? Not a problem.

From the South: Rude? Aloof? I would fit right in with the Swiss.

I blame that furriner she married.

I blame her anorexia. Fishstick starved her last brain cell to death.

Dman,

Paltrow has cankles.

Look, I ain't no treasure myself, so I am probably the last person on earth who should be calling someone else an uggo. However, in the finest male fashion, I shall do so anyway.

She has legs like baseball bats. No boobs to speak of. A nose like the prow of an Arctic icebreaker. Slightly buck teeth. Butterface. A yodeling horselaugh that gives me the creepy-crawlies. Plus, to be diplomatic about it, she doesn't strike me as being on the plus side of the I.Q. bell-curve, ya know what I mean?

And this is all before I even start on her dippy politics.

my wife has talked frequently of wanting to see Europe... I can't think of a better way to spend a vacation, jockeying around Paris waiting for someone to spit on the "stupid Americans." I'd like to see the countryside and visit Normandy and that's about it... hey, any way I can just take a boat into and out of Normandy?

"a greater respect for the multicultural nature of the globe"

That may be true if the faces in that culture are white. But the racism of the typical European is breathtaking to an American. They are like the Democrats were in the South before 1970.

European governments practice apartheid that would make South Africans blush. And as Monty said, that apartheid has turned large European cities into DMZs.

I haven't spent as much time in Europe as I'd like. The only parts I've seen are London, Paris and Brussels. London and Paris both had their good points, but basically they were crowded, dirty cities where a lot of the people were rude as hell, and I don't think that was the special "reserved-for-Americans" treatment. Brussels... well, who cares, really?

I just wish Gwyneth and her ilk would shut their collective yaps about politics. Contra Monty, I think she's cute, and I'm tired of learning that pretty much everyone I ever enjoyed watching on the screen is really some sort of venomous, nitwit moonbat.

Rob, I'd recommend taking a holiday to England, and in the middle of it take a day (or two) of it to take the chunnel over to France, see Normandy, and then go back.

I've been to England three times so far (and I even got married there), and it's pretty nice *if* you like to walk everywhere (and take the Tube a lot), hit museums and theaters and generally wallow in several hundred years of history (and it helps if you are a James Bond and Sherlock Holmes fan, or are just a general Anglophile). It's not exactly cheap, especially nowadays, but still fine.

I've also been to Switzerland several times, thanks to the fact that I have a Swiss mother. It's quite a different flavor of life than in England, but I can appreciate it for different reasons.

In both cases, I'd say that if you get out of the big cities, you'll meet a much nicer sort of people (and see fantastic sights of nature).

First, Ace-- thanks for the link.

Second, you mentioned sending kids to Europe, without mentioning Amsterdam. Hell, I think we can all agree, the only reason anyone in America goes to Amsterdam is to do pot. Seems like a nice town, don't get me wrong, but if it didn't have ganja, I think Knott's Berry Farm would get more foot traffic.

Third, I'd do Paltrow in an uncomfortable place. You know, like in the backseat of a Volkswagen. All for inflicting an Academy Award win on us for Shakespeare In Love in the same year that Saving Private Ryan was released. I'm *still* not over that injustice.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Check out the big brain on Monty! Actually I love that movie. I just had to use the opportunity to increase the levels of "Pulp Fiction" related posts here, considering the recent vile remarks a certain Mr. of Spades made concerning that fine piece of cinema.

yearning for good old fashioned US of A creature comforts

You mean like toilets that flush in the right direction or toilet paper that isn't designated by grit size?

We may be uncultured barbarians, but at least we can make TP that isn't like wiping your ass with a porcupine.

Enas Yorl,

I'm a cool little Fonzie.

I still think Jackie Brown had what was perhaps the greatest quote in movie history:

[Scene: the two thugs are looking at a dead body in the trunk of a car.]
Louis: Who's that?
Ordell: That's Beaumont.
Louis: Who's Beaumont?
Ordell: An employee I had to let go.

That scene never fails to utterly crack me up. (The scene where Ordell convinces Beaumont to lie in the trunk is a pretty good one too.)

And just to tie this into the topic of the post: Pam Grier with her plus-size rear-end is still about a hundred times hotter than Paltrow.

Amsterdam is a pretty good torist city without requiring an interest in pot. I couldn't imagine living there for any prolonged period but as the scenery and museum thing goes, it's one of the must see bits of Europe.

This 'America is a young country' bit from the likes of Paltrow, Depp, etc. is really, really an indicator of thoughtlessness on the part of these actor types accustomed to sucking up whatever memes they're fed. It is after all an actor's job to lack an identity of their own and take on one assigned to them. Some of them just don't know when to turn it off.

Just because a region has been continuously inhabited and has some very old buildings still standing does not make it an old country. There is not a single nation in all of Europe, or most of the world for that matter, that can claim the same continuity of government as the USA. Never conquered, never overthrown, we never had a monarch to slowly divest of power. There is much to our structure today that might disgust the Founders if they were resurrected but in general we are still the nation founded in the late 18th Century. Much of the world can claim long cultural histories but nothing like that in terms of governmental stability.

Also, do these idiots think the Founders were raised by wolves with no cultural history? Franklin and Jefferson were among the most respected intellectuals of their era, not just at home but in Europe and elsewhere. Much of modern Europe reflects their influence. The good parts, that is. The bad parts of modern Europe are largely influence by homegrown intellectuals like Marx. So I'd say there is a distinct advantage to the influence of our 'adolescent' nation.

I dunno. I had friends who went to Europe, and as much as they have some neat stuff you can't find here, they pretty much saw through all that pretentious, "Our culture is better than yours" stuff.

"But I feel I have a more European snsibility"

Translation: "I am so much better and more sophisticated than Americans, I can sleep around with movie star pretty boys all I want. I can name my baby after a fruit. I still adore the little people who go to my movies though, it pays for the nannies and limos you know"

She should have said that living in Europe was like living in a dream.

Dave,

Don't forget people go to Amsterdam for the whores too. Ah, whores and hash bars. Throw in about 15 Heinekens and you've got yourself an evening.

I can see how she would like Spain. I have been there about seven times and have enjoyed myself tremendously. Geography & climate similar to a "mini" US. Hell, they even have a mini Grand Canyon. You can be snow skiing in the mountains north of Madrid in the morning and laying on the beach in the afternoon. Everything close.

I have friends that live in Javea on the Costa Blanco , near Valencia and I have heard all kinds of horror stories about the government, local thru national. It takes almost a year to buy a piece of property, and then you can't be sure that you have a clear title. They say that you can't get anyone to work. If you need something repaired on your house, you look for an ex-patriot American or Englishman to do it. If you hire a Spaniard, it may take forever and may not even get done.

Spain was a third world country until the Euro's stepped in an got them ready for the EU. Euro's built the Spanish Interstate system (good too) and now you can get around Spain easily. Problem is, even in the small cities, there is no parking or local infrastructure.

Excellent place to visit, good wines, local beers, great regional brandies, excellent food, reasonably priced (although up a bit since the EU), but hardly a place to put down roots. Too much beauracratic bullshit in even the small areas. Hell, I could go on for pages about both the good and the bad of Spain, England, France and Italy - but I can see how a visitor might speak highly of Spain.

So, like, I have a baby named Apple n stuff. And, like, my husband is a really deeeeeep musician from Coldplay n stuff. And, like, America sucks n stuff.

We'll see how dear Gwynnie likes Europe when it becomes Northern Syria in 30 years because of complete capitulation to it's unfettered immigration of Muslims wholly unwilling to assimilate in any way. But of course, she can easily afford to come back to scary America when it suits her. But I guess I shouldn't hold someone with the IQ of a sack of rusted doorknobs responsible for saying stupid things.
By the way, Ireland is a great country. Thank God it's not attached to the rest of those Euro-pussies.

The funny thing though is that they can live and dream in old Europe but they can't make a living there. They still do their movies in the US cause no French or British film company would hire them.

I can name my baby after a fruit.

She named her baby "Richard Simmons"? I did not know that.

/Obligatory rimshot.

What the hell is a Gwyneth Paltrow?

A bad actress whose presence in movies is due to the Hollywood system of nepotism and/or the casting couch.

By the way, the Spaniards invented the
'Manana, manana' attitude.

If travel broadens the mind, tourism narrows it. Whenever someone leaves this country for the first time, they should have to live overseas for a few years, pay some rent, try to get a job, etc. That's travel. Also, I'm pretty sure that each American girl who's been to Europe has had sex with every single man in at least Western Europe.

Moonbat-- I had been rude and aloof here in the states-but the absolute shock of being treated like a dog knocked me down several pegs---once I got back with my normal working crowd; I resumed rude-but not aloof.

And I NEVER had any interest in sleeping with any Swiss guy--most looked/acted like one of Hitler's youth..."Tomorrow belongs to me..." (Cabaret).

Also, I'm pretty sure that each American girl who's been to Europe has had sex with every single man in at least Western Europe.

Dave, really! It wasn't every
single one of them.

"Also, I'm pretty sure that each American girl who's been to Europe has had sex with every single man in at least Western Europe."

Well, they seem to be missing my address.

Anyways, you've got to be gentle with Gwyneth. She's a brainless tart that's married to an asshole who used a "hammer & sickle" pin to the British Music Awards.
With that kind of influence, and with such low brainpower who can blame her?

"America is such a young country, with an adolescent swagger about it."

I don't see what's so wrong about this statement. Demographically, America is much younger than Europe, so its only natural that we seem more adolescent than geriatric. Though peresonally, I'd say we have more of that 'mid-twenties swagger.' We're young, aggressive, hungry, eager for anything that comes our way, yet (unlike adolescents) we have first-hand experience of how the world works, and proof that we can hold our own in it.

...more adolescent than geriatric.

You are too kind. I would have used the word necrotic. The euros are in a death spiral.

Back in my day we didn't call a woman who believed what her husband told her to believe, "progressive."

Such a shame! She has one of the best asses in hollywood.

To bad the view of it is obstructed by her fat head!

America drained the go-getters off of Europe over many years.

Those too dour, or too clinging, to fling themselves into the unknown stayed in the old country.

OK, maybe just France, northern Italy, and the London area.

Some of these comments are the funniest and cleverest Euro-bashing I've ever read--brilliant. Keep up the good work. Dave and Big E should win national awards.

these comments are the funniest and cleverest Euro-bashing I've ever read

And they're not even trying...

This is just the usual late-nite pre-coma brain ooze. Flash up some jack and we'll make your heart soar like the Ride of the Valkyrie (Wagner wasn't some euro-trashy punk!)

Fuck anyone who supports Bush.

Fuck anyone who supports Bush.

Nice try, but we're not that desperate.