Is any other guy out there finding that lesbian-chic is becoming a little passe?

No. No. No.

C'mon. Admit it.

Maybe I'm just haunted by the sad memory of Billy "Blaze" Blaszjowski, who was living with a woman and then one day, BOOM!, she just went lesbo on him. Just like that.

Gay marriage? Lukewarm. Gay muff-eating? Look out!

Billy "Blaze" Blaszjowski, who was living with a woman and then one day, BOOM!, she just went lesbo on him

Lou Diamond Phillips, too. Can you imagine losing your chick to Melissa Etheridge? If they're going to dyke out on you, they should at least go lipstick so you've got something to whack off to.

Well, there's three kinds of lesbianism:

1) Porn lesbianism

2) Real lesbianism

3) Fake-Real Lesbianism, like when chicks make out at a party or something

1-- still good, but, well, you can tell they're not into it. But that almost makes it hotter.

2 -- not good. Unless it's with really hot lesbians, like Megan the Right Wing Lesbian or Megan the Left Wing Lesbain. But that's rare. Usually it's two chicks who look like a cross between Lisa Loeb and Madeleine Albright.

3 -- kinda good, but getting old, because it just has the forced-fun-feeling of getting all sloppy drunk on New Year's Eve, and it's a little done to death.

Okay, this isn't a recent thing. The Ace of Spades lifestyle (TM) is kinda sedate, to tell you the truth.

I kinda got a little bored with this a long time ago, in and after college, when it became almost de rigeur for a while, and I started to wonder if I'd ever date another girl who'd had fewer women than I had.

And when your Magic Number is 2, that's makes it all the more difficult.

Agreed on real lesbianism being the least hot of the three. There was an old skit on SNL about that involving a genie granting a group of college guys their wish to watch lesbians make out, and naturally the twist was that they were granola/birkenstock lesbians.

Speaking of Lou Diamond Phillips and being gay, did you know that he plays in a band called "the Pipefitters"? Holy shit. How does a straight man get involved in a band with a name like that? It's like being in a band called "Man Cunt."

Due to Allah I can't stop laughing and I was going to type my first post. I was going to be funny or insightful or something. Now I am going to cruise porn.
Thanks.

Lesbian chic beats this sort of chic any day.

I find the whole thing old. But that may be because I've never achieved the holy grail of male sexuality: two chicks at the same time.

Eh, who am I kidding? I still love all kinds of lesbiansism, including the scary-hairy all-too-real kind.

It just sounds kinda cool to say you're bored with it, like you're more sexually jaded than Keith Richards and can't really get turned on unless you're watching midgets being clubbed to death with 200 pound yellowfin tunas.

Just my three or four cents: Most of the people in my office are men, and they seem to enjoy this topic. I always suggest that they like the IDEA of it more than they would like it in actuality. For a quick cure, go to an LPGA golf tournament or some sort of Lilith Fair-type concert! Lots of the real thing happening there.

Lesbians? Are they hot?

Umm, Ace, no link to the Keith Richards stuff? Prude.

Personally, I think there's something rather attractive about women who ONLY get turned on by MEN. Call me crazy.

Later,
bbeck

I fear my girlfriend leaving me for a chick I find attractive or one we've slept with. What if she likes her better? I might. Threesomes are usually more of a problem than they're worth.

bbeck,

You're L7, baby. Squaresville. Loosen up and have a drink. Kiss a chick.

You'd have to grow a mustache... and get all kinds of robes and lotions.

Don't we have to work tomorrow?

I mean it's 1AM and no hot lesbians in sight.

You'd have to grow a mustache... and get all kinds of robes and lotions.

Check, check, AND check!!!

I'm going to VHS, uh, I mean bed.
Good night.

I don't believe I gave up my anonymous status to chat about lesbians. I am a jackass. Good night, again.

Hey Ace, what was that post you deleted?

Kiss a chick.

I have. I just didn't like it.

Later,
bbeck

dirty filthy whore

I just read an article by Ted Rall about the hurricane and it surprised me that even he would be so gob-smackinly vile.

Oops, that was off topic. So, uh, you know, chick-on-chick something or other. Yeah.

the post I deleted was a link to Physics Geek, about another funny "cybersex session." I deleted it because my inner censor told me that I had enough sexual stuff on here today.

dirty filthy whore

I'm guessing you're still thinking about it, too.

Later,
bbeck

Yeah, but it's already tomorrow.

Btw Ace: f'in fire. Maybe you should have an on-air meltdown every week.

I think I could eventually be convinced to roll an egg all over Angelina Jolie.

AIDA Attention? Do I have have your attention? I know I do because it is f**k or walk, you close or you hit the bricks.....

Nice Glengary reference, Ace.

I never really was into the whole lipstick lesbian thing. Not sure why, but it made me question my heteroness.

And then, the other day, I was flipping through channels and I came across one of those ubiquitous softcore, poorly lit Cinesex movies that are always on at 11 CST, and the only thing I could think of was how depressing they were.

And, again, the questioning.

See?........I just *knew* all of this in-your-face 24/7, gay gay gay, queer power, we-demand-our-rights crap would ruin it for the rest of us.

I like it better when we keep at least one foot in the closet. At least then we can still maintain an air of mystery.

There may indeed be a lot of hot lesbians here in Hollywood but just try 'n find one who not only eats bush but voted for one too.

Good luck.

And I Swear I Never Thought I'd Ever Say This But... Is any other guy out there finding that lesbian-chic is becoming a little passe?

There comes a point at which the titillatingly taboo becomes kinda, well, old.

As you said, there are types.

Pop stars kissing? Old. And boring.

Drunk girls clumsily slobbering all over each other in a bar or club to get attention from men? Old. And kind of annoying.

Young sorority sisters alone, or alone and tipsy with you, hesitantly kissing as a presage to their first forbidden girl-on-girl love? Suspended between shame and delight, eventually tipping towards the latter? Never old.

There was an old "Dilbert" cartoon where he programmed his computer to generate the perfect pick-up line. It came out: "Hi, my name is Mel Gibson. Did you see a dingo run by with my shirt?"

Ace write:
Is any other guy out there finding that lesbian-chic is becoming a little passe?

Face it, you're turning gay dude.

I mean, the definition of male heterosexuality is obsessive sexual desire for women. Watching lesbian sex is about the most hetero thing you can do aside from actually boning two or three chicks at the same time, but I understand that that is simply out of the question in your case. So you are left with watching lesbian sex and now you find yourself yawning at the idea. Gay dude.

"But..but..but," you say, " I'm still watching hetero porn!" Yeah, in the fucking closet porn you mean. When you are watching hetero porn you are watching at least one GUY, the proportion of chick is substantially reduced in favor of looking at Ron Jeremy's willy, please how gay is that?

Sorry, but apparently living in NYC, immersed in the gay agenda as a very part of the atmosphere has had its insidious effect on you.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

No, Ace and bbeck are quite correct. Lesbian chic has been old and depressing for ~10 years now. Shockingly enough, that fact still hasn't filtered through to most colleges...

Shockingly enough, that fact still hasn't filtered through to most colleges...

colleges struggle with accurate history too. I think this is a trend.

What? Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL NO!

What the fuck happened to the Ace of Spades I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh?

"Ooh, we're afraid to watch lesbians Dave, we might not get a chubby." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Ace, he's a dead man! bbeck, dead! Megan. . .

Whoa. Sorry 'bout that, this subject makes me emotional.

Lesbians are baseball, apple pie and the American flag: they are timeless, beautiful things.

As long as they let me watch, and entertain the thought of letting me join in for a little while.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

P.S. Really, you all make me sick. Sick.

... fingers carressing the pointed pink rosebuds of their roommate's nubile nipples ...

Megan...

DEAD! Dave's right! I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. Like Allah photoshopping Kim Richards making out with Justine Bateman....

Back when I owned 56k.com I got a call from the Playboy Advisor to answer a question about 56K modems. They published my advice in the issue with Downtown Julie Brown on the cover.

And, yeh, I am putting that on my tombstone unless I accomplish something greater (as if).

And I Swear I Never Thought I'd Ever Say This But... Is any other guy out there finding that lesbian-chic is becoming a little passe?

My friend, Sir Rocky Hardington, says "no".

Lesbians are boring. If they're real-deal lesbians, they're kind of scary, and they smell funny, and they wear hiking boots and belch in public. Besides which, deep down, you can't shake the feeling that real-deal lesbians are such only because they are man-haters. A couple of ball-busters would deflate a flagpole.

Not sexy.

Professional lesbians, that is porn stars, are annoying. They grunt and grimace, they gyrate and grab, but you know in your heart that it's bullshit. They're just scoring a paycheck. It's like watching Errol Flynn delivering the mail.

Not sexy.

Dumbass college girls getting smoochy and huggy in front of a crowd or camera are whores. If they're not doing it for actual "amateur porn" money, they're doing it for something stupid (like beads at Mardi Gras) or to be manipulative (like getting a guy to buy their drinks). Whores are unattractive at all times. You can actually see their tiny, shrivelled heart turning black and crusty; and you know that if you ended up with them, they'd withhold sex in order to force you to take them to Cabo where they'd leave you for a scuba instructor.

Not sexy.

... a sharp intake of breath and a low moan escaped her moist lips, as her womanhood was lightly invaded by the probing, delicate fingers of another woman ...

"HEY YOU GUYS SEEN MY ... hey what are you DOING? Is that lame lesbian chic? YAWN. Anyway, you guys seen my Monster Manual II?"

"No Ace! Could you LEAVE?! And close the door!"

Lesbians are boring. If they're real-deal lesbians, they're kind of scary, and they smell funny, and they wear hiking boots and belch in public. Besides which, deep down, you can't shake the feeling that real-deal lesbians are such only because they are man-haters. A couple of ball-busters would deflate a flagpole.

Not sexy.

But they're hella fun to get drunk with. Seriously.

Lesbian chic is as dead as 9-week old roadkill.

In a society where we have OVER-pressured our daughters to be lesbian with the barrage of TV and media crap, our young women are so gullible to peer pressure and fad that the college coeds now have a popular term: BUGs or Bi-sexual Until Graduation.

What does that say out lesbian crap? The young women do it for the peer pressure and then drop the stupid crap after graduation to pursue the REAL men of society - not the wimp-ass wannabe men who can only get off seeing two women swap spit.

It's dead, Jim.

Never could understand the attraction that some boys ( won't say men ) have for lesbians. It's creepy, and for the most part it grosses women out. Maybe its inside-out gayness on the part of these men. THey don't have their own sexuality figured out, so they think that this is cool

No, Ace and bbeck are quite correct. Lesbian chic has been old and depressing for ~10 years now. Shockingly enough, that fact still hasn't filtered through to most colleges...

When Megan says it's dead, IT'S DEAD!

Never could understand the attraction that some boys ( won't say men ) have for lesbians. It's creepy, and for the most part it grosses women out. Maybe its inside-out gayness on the part of these men. THey don't have their own sexuality figured out, so they think that this is cool

I think you're over analyzing this. The fact that two women may be engaged in a sexual act is secondary to the fact they are

1) naked

and

2) naked

and

3) doing something we'd like to be doing.

Never could understand the attraction that some boys ( won't say men ) have for lesbians. It's creepy, and for the most part it grosses women out. Maybe its inside-out gayness on the part of these men. THey don't have their own sexuality figured out, so they think that this is cool

I think you're over analyzing this. The fact that two women may be engaged in a sexual act is secondary to the fact they are

1) naked

and

2) naked

and

3) doing something we'd like to be doing.

Sorry for the double comment. The first one appeared to time-out. Loose caca. But, hey, I don't do this for a living.

Geez...Ardolino's attempt at lesbian erotica are almost in a league with O-Chub's homoerotic Superman fan-fiction stories.

Except that, you know, people actually visit O-Chub's site and get to confront that awful stuff by choice, whereas Ardolino has to rely on Ace's comments to get any attention.

And that O-Chub's writing has a sense of the "really want to be there in the middle of some fortress of solitude action with the Big Red S" while Bill's has the sense of "really wanting some woman..any woman..besides my mommy..to acknowledge my presence...or remember my name..or at least stop laughing at my clumsy sexual advances."

Bill's has the sense of "really wanting some woman..any woman..besides my mommy..to acknowledge my presence...or remember my name..or at least stop laughing at my clumsy sexual advances."

All true, but that would be your mommy I'm sick of.

Because let's face it, she's a filthy pig.

PS - Of all the slights I've encountered on this forum of unbridled reactionary right-wing lunacy, that comparison to Oliver Willis is the only one that made me wince.

Congrats.

BrewFan -

3) doing something we'd like to be doing.

Did you just reveal your desire to be taken with a strap-on?

Ahh..Bill...taking an out of context shot at my mother when the text clearly referred to yours. Why, it's just that kind of spontaneous wit and clever word play that makes you such a popular blogger. If by "popular" one means, of course, "frustrated because nobody gives a rats ass about my shitty blog."

Never you mind, though. I'm sure that if you keep hanging out around Ace and Goldstein you might eventually get a feel for "the funny". Hell, you might even get a reader or two out of sheer pity.

I'm not a doctor but I question the wisdom of firing up a flame war with a guy whose prickliness borders on mental illness.

I wonder about the potential psychological damage that playing at being bi-sexual might cause later on.

If one's sexuality is hard-wired, wouldn't messing with it be inviting problems down the road?

Ahh..Bill...taking an out of context shot at my mother when the text clearly referred to yours.

Who took an out-of-context shot at who's mother? And this is a dumb comment to make?

You parody yourself! Seriously, what sort of crazed chimp-logic are you operating with?

I had a longer comment typed but lost it - suffice it to say: The assaults on my blog's relevance are silly because:

1. I don't care much about the size of my "blog penis."

2. Well, my traffic and links empirically prove you to be ignorant, delusional or conveniently dishonest.

"Did you just reveal your desire to be taken with a strap-on?"

I would appreciate it if you left me out of your fantasies.

I would appreciate it if you left me out of your fantasies.

Then I'll spare you the one where Richard Perle and I spank and smear your naked bottom with lutefisk while telling you what a bad, bad social conservative you've been.

Oops.

... a sharp intake of breath and a low moan escaped her moist lips, as her womanhood was lightly invaded by the probing, delicate fingers of another woman ...

Womanhood?

Womanhood?!!!!

Oh, my! I think we've learned some things here today, my friends. Namely, the source of the sexual frustration and overcompensation that emits from damn near every one of Bill's posts.

Some how I'm not suprised Richard Perle and I are in your fantasies. Disgusted yes, suprised no.

Gentleman, gentleman-- there's no fighting in here, this is the war room!

Let's get back to something we can all discuss on friendly terms:

Women's prison movies: erotic journeys or social commentaries?

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

"...Women..."

Dave, you'll need to pick another topic. Bill has no expertise OR experience in this area.

Funny how things moved from lesbo-erotica to homo-erotica.

Funny how things moved from lesbo-erotica to homo-erotica

Well, we try and accomodate Bill when he drops by.

The comment above mine is No. 69. I don't think I like this position. No, wait...

Funny how things moved from lesbo-erotica to homo-erotica.

By 2 a.m. we'll be posting recipes again.

1 package fideo (vermicelli pasta)
1 small can diced tomatoes
cumin
garlic powder
salt, pepper to taste

Brown fideo noodles in cast iron pot (others can be used, but cast iron works best). When dark, add water until noodles are just covered. Add spices to taste and cook until noodles are tender, adding water as necessary.

Serve with pinto beans.

Oops. Add tomatoes when noodles are partially cooked, just after the spices.

Namely, the source of the sexual frustration and overcompensation that emits from damn near every one of Bill's posts.

Oof - zinger!

Seems like I missed out on some great typety-type action here last. Instead I had to go to bed early in pursuit of being up in time to seem attentive to a call I got on my resume yesterday morning but didn't get the message until late evening.

What a waste. It turns out they want to pay no better than Walmart for 25% longer commute. GFL, guys. If you list certifications in the want ad you can't expect to lowball the salary.

But lesbians in male fantasy. Ah, the eternal contradiction. Also the eternal compromise since it is as close as one can come to watching a woman have sex without having to look at portions of the male anatomy I don't care to examine so closely. Yet, if the woman can manage some real passion how likely are they to desire male attention?

And what of the comedic aspect? 'Hot girl-girl action' is inherently funny but 'simulated lesbian sex' just falls flat even though the same material is described.