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September 13, 2005

Highlights of NRO's Day 2 Coverage

Jonah Goldberg slips Joe Biden a nasty shiv:

The man loves his voice so much, you'd expect him to be following it around in a grey Buick, in defiance of restraining order, as it walks home from school. He seems to think his teeth are some kind of hypnotic punctuation marks which can momentarily disorient the listener and absolve him from any of Western civilization's usual imperatives to stop talking. Listening to him speechify is like playing an intellectual game of whack-a-mole where every now and then the fuzzy head of a good point pops up from the tundra but before you can pin it down, he starts talking about how he went to the store and saw a squirrel on the way and it was brown which brings to mind Brown V. Board of Ed which most people don't understand because [TEETH FLASH] he taught Brown in his law school course and [TEETH FLASH] Mr. Chairman I'm going to get right to it and besides these aren't the droids you're looking for....

Note the expert way he works in a Star Wars reference.

I have a hunch that sitting and listening to Chuckie "It's All About Me & my Camera Time" Schumer, Teddy "Happy Hour" Kennedy, and Joe "I'm So Smart" Biden has taken a toll on John Roberts, far worse than you might expect.

This should remove any doubt:

Yes, he's going to have a lifetime dream job, but pity the man all the same.

posted by Harry Callahan at 11:18 PM

Comments

Roberts is either listening to a pack of Democrats talk or getting poked up the squeakhole.

Well, six of one...

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on September 13, 2005 11:38 PM

Crazy eyes!

I think, uh, that I, er, need a big glass of Chivas to take that image out, uh, of my head.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy on September 13, 2005 11:41 PM

I see contacts. But I wonder what is causing the redness. Allergies?

Posted by: on September 14, 2005 12:00 AM

You'd look like that too if Feinstein just flashed you some cleavage and passed you a note requesting your presense at one of Teddy's (in)famous blender parties later that night.

Posted by: Tony on September 14, 2005 12:18 AM

I wonder if the contacts are tinted that funny green, or if he's just an alien.

Posted by: See-Dubya on September 14, 2005 01:02 AM

Subtitle:

And this was the moment Judge Roberts' x-ray vision first saw through his eyelids. In a matter of hours, he'll see through walls, then mountains, and finally, into the face of God himself.

Oh, and then he'll see through Joe Biden's bullshit. But not until after he sees God.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on September 14, 2005 01:37 AM

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

Posted by: Anachronda on September 14, 2005 01:52 AM

It's mini-strokes, I tell ya. Whose blood pressure could survive a couple of days of this sh*t?

Posted by: Dulce on September 14, 2005 06:41 AM

He seems to think his teeth are some kind of hypnotic punctuation marks

That line made me just laugh and laugh.

Posted by: SarahW on September 14, 2005 12:20 PM

"These people make the laws?" Judge Roberts realized to his horror. "Sweet Lord save us all!"

Posted by: Mikey on September 14, 2005 12:35 PM

Seriously, you know what happened to the poor guy? Here he is in his hotel room, the night before his interview for his life's dream, knowing he's going to get reamed the next day by bluetards; so he's lies awake with his mind racing until 5:55 am, and the alarm goes of at 6:00! Been there. It's a minor miracle he could even talk coherently. Good sign.

Posted by: quiggs on September 14, 2005 12:42 PM