Ash???? That's asking way too much. Like telling people to call you Babe Ruth because of one RBI single in a company softball game. Based on some of the girls I saw you with in college, I think Dar (Marc Singer) from "The Beastmaster" is more appropriate.

Ahem. I think I got one you liked an awful lot, Steve.

First.

Dirty bastard.

I never said there wasn't some wheat mixed in with the chaff ;-)

I was thinking more like Sgt. Pinback from Darkstar.

Ahem. You denigrate my chaff?

Let's not talk about your chaff, my bosom pal.

I believe that would be MAD. As an alternative to Dar, how about Prince Talon from "The Sword and the Sorcerer". You could have that goofy three-bladed projectile sword.

Okay. That was Lee Horsely, who absolutely KICKED ASS as Matt Houston, so I accept your generous compromise.

From Ash to Prince Talon. It's good when a man learns to recognize his limitations. It's like when I realized that I wasn't ever going to be able to sexually satisfy a woman. After that, I was able to really enjoy sex without the stress of worrying about my partner.

By the way, I see Lee Horsley was born in a place called Muleshoe.

It's like when I realized that I wasn't ever going to be able to sexually satisfy a woman. After that, I was able to really enjoy sex without the stress of worrying about my partner.

I hear that.

It's like when I realized that I wasn't ever going to be able to sexually satisfy a woman. After that, I was able to really enjoy sex without the stress of worrying about my partner.

I hear that.

Wankers.

This is flame-war material.

I believe it was Dave Chapelle who said something along the lines of "I can't help if I'm running a sprint and she's runnning a marathon."

You sound to me like you are smoking some dam good fat boy,s today dude send me a couple if you can spare them.

gene - you are prescient. i was just thinking of smoking out and taking the dog to the beach.

Boomstick. What else is there to say?

Defense Guy - This is something that must be said.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/armydark/armydark3.wav

I'm still seeing Ace as Sgt. Pinback:

Pinback: [making video diary entry] I do not like the men on this spaceship. They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities. I have something of value to contribute to this mission if they would only recognize it. Today over lunch I tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the men by holding a humorous, round-robin discussion of the early days of the mission. My overtures were brutally rejected. These men do not want a happy ship. They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable. Last week was my birthday. Nobody even said "happy birthday" to me. Someday this tape will be played and then they'll feel sorry.

"Name's Ash (chuck-chuck). Housewares."