I was making jokes while they were still searching for the bodies. They probably found him with his pants around his ankles and a nose full of coke.

Having read the story, I'd point out that there's nothing borderline about either the author's sanity or his stupidity. Consider them both confirmed.

The John-John story is just one of many spit-flecked bits of prose there.

Not that I don't appreciate some entertainment while I'm stuck at work, but for God's sake, Ace, get out and enjoy the day. Cook up some burgers and suck down a few suds, mkay?

It's beautiful here in Columbus. Low eighties and breezy. I'd kill for the day off. At least I got the lawn mowed earlier today.

Bush I, Bush II and Clinton named as accomplices in JFK Jr death!

Wow, at least these 3 incompetent assholes finally got something right.

Did you know that scientists in top-secret labs have learned how to manipulate the weather, even to the point of actually controlling the paths of hurricanes?

It's true! I read all about it in the comments at Huffington Post.

Ace, you are clearly average minded. Everyone knows Proctor and Gamble are the real minions of the legions of Satan; the flyer was on my grandma's frige for years.

Silly sheeple.

Of course, you'd have to assume the leadership of Proctor & Gamble are all freemasons anyways, so, tomato, tomatoe?

Ehh, but then again, shape-shifting inter-dimensional beings are always quite crafty in masking the impending sheeple harvest.

But whatvever you do, don't drink the Mountain Dew!

We most procreate after the harvest!

I support Bonnie Prince Charlie!

Which reminds me... there are Vatican non-Papists? Those must be the Jesuits.

"We most procreate after the harvest!"

Let's get started early.

Ace, you are just one of those people who thinks Elvis is dead, Paul McCartney isn't and that "The X-Files" was not a documentary.

Damn it Ace! Just because some krazy krackpot konspiracies are total fruitloops not all of them are! Besides, I thought we'd all agreed that aliens were running the show the last time this came up for discussion. Kodos and Krang right?

I seem to remember some dark musings by goofball conservatives that Hillary somehow got into JFK Jr.'s plane with a wrench.

Some say it was Hillary behind the wheel of the cadillac that hit and killed Buddy. She could be heard yelling: "You'll never piss on my carpets again. You'll never piss on my carpets again . . ."

Personally, I like the FreeMason conspiracy stuff. You got your Presidents and ancient cathedrals and so on. More sweep of history, secret club stuff going on there. Just an overall better, more well rounded class of conspiracy theory.

The corporation or trilateral committe stuff always struck me as so obvious, so shallow and unrewarding. Okay, so and so is pulling the strings nowadays.... Blah, blah, blah. The believers are just sad men obsessing over documents. Where's the secret handshake? Where's the coded images in historical documents? Where's the... where's the romance? Yeah, gimme the FreeMason crowd. There's a charm there.

My God, they've killed Kennedy! The bastards!

You know, Raoul, it occurred to me after we lost that last one, there's a 50/50 chance Paul McCartney will be the only Beatle not dead some day.

Given the choice between a world where half the population is below the mean for intelligence, and a conspiracy by the Trilaterialists and the Masons, which would you prefer? I, for one, welcome our conspiratorial overlords.

Here's what causes conspiracy theorists to act the way they do:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22conspiracy+theorists%22+powerlessness&btnG=Google+Search

You guys left out the Illuminati.

What really causes conspiracy theorists to act the way they do is the infrawave mind-control beams. The Conspiracy makes a few people act nuts to trick you into believing that everyone who tries to expose the Conspiracy is nuts. Fnord.

And it's too bad they're mucking about with tinfoil hats. Only Kryptonite could block those rays.

It's the same deadly mind-control rays that women's uncovered hair give off.

meep, I have a kryptonite cross so I can keep both Dracula AND Superman away from me.

You wanna see nuts? Here's nuts.

This guy thinks that Kos and the Democratic Underground are part of the Bush conspiracy to hush up the truth. Now that is really nuts.

Still can't beat Timecube.

Besides, the JFK Jr. guy is not completely nuts. He can still compose a webpage without centering all of the text and making it huge, multicolored, blinking, and with random italics, bold font, and capitalization.

Dear Dark Lord Rove, keeper of the Satellite of Doom, protector of Chimpya, destroyer of Democrats, hear my plea. I humbly request that you adjust your mind control signal so as not to fry the brains of the infidels and cause them to use abominable HTML. In your father Satan's name we prey,
Ramen.

"This guy thinks that Kos and the Democratic Underground are part of the Bush conspiracy to hush up the truth. Now that is really nuts"

lol! You gotta love INTERNET! Everybody gets a stage, even the Madsen's of the world.