Sorry Ace. No pity here. Until your team reaches the status of my Det. Lions, we will always hold the "worst team" title. We are the Bermuda Triangle of football. Every coach comes here and loses, all the team members-while here-are loosers. When they leave here they suddenly get their game back. I think it must even shock them.

Didn't the lions show something at the end of last season? Or was that the season before?

They always do just enough to keep the die-hard fans hopes alive. Everytime they win a game people (fans) will say "Thats one in a row." We will never stop hoping. After all, the Pistons came back. The funniest sign last year was "Go Lions. And take the Tigers with you."

You have nothing on Houston. Not only are the Texans a bad team they are a boring team to watch. They had the opportunity when they first came into the league to run an exciting wide open offense with no expectations to win. Instead they played the most conservative of boring game plans and continue the same today.

Uhh, but they're an expansion team. And they weren't even an expansion team like the jags or panthers, which were given such amazing resources as to be playoff competitors right out of the box.

So it's different.

What did you expect? It's going to take Houston a while.

At least they have a good quarterback. Or at least he started as good quarterback. Being constantly sacked sometimes turns good quarterbacks into bad ones, as they begin learning futility and get gunshy.

Come on...can any team be worse than the Dallas Cowboys, my team of choice? Every year, they keep losing and every year people keep saying 'well, they're in a rebuilding year.'

Still, I'll keep rooting for the stupid morons.

Whats the cutoff before you no longer can use the expansion team excuse. As I said, losing is not so bad as long as you are not boring. Two running plays, a pass and punt. Boring.

Well, the Giants did that for ten years. I think Gregg Easterbrook once snarked that the Giants were considering adding an innovative wrinkle to their offense-- the forward pass.

They're a more "wide-open" offense now, or at least they would be, if they could manage to pass-block, if their receivers could get open consistently, and if any of their quarterbacks could put the ball somewhere in the vicinity of an open receiver.

Every once in a while they have a big play, and it seems like they could really do this "verticle game" stuff. But it's just a fluke.

Tim Hasselbeck. Not to nitpick. No, wait, to nitpick.

Matt's married to Elizabeth Hasselbeck from The View. Who, I believe, is actually a much better QB than Tim. And taller than Doug Flutie.

I have always been curious if there is a distinct difference between Giant fans and Jet fans. Something like white collar / blue collar, con / lib, etc?

"Come on...can any team be worse than the Dallas Cowboys"

It hurts me deeply to day this but, yes.

But I have a disaster recovery plan.

Hey, all you shitty team fans, what's worse-- having a team that's always sucked, or having a team that once was great but has LAUGHABLY sucked for as long as I've lived in this town?

Yup, I speak of the Washington Foreskins. Who I started rooting for only because I had to have *some* football to cheer on in the days before Sunday Ticket.

Too bad there's no football in Washington. . . grrrr.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

P.S. Of course, I was born and raised a Bears fan, which was a beautiful thing when I was ten, but now just adds insult to injury (after injury, after injury. . . ugh).

P.P.S. Giant suck.

Hey, all you shitty team fans, what's worse-- having a team that's always sucked, or having a team that once was great but has LAUGHABLY sucked for as long as I've lived in this town?

Yup, I speak of the Washington Foreskins. Who I started rooting for only because I had to have *some* football to cheer on in the days before Sunday Ticket.

Too bad there's no football in Washington. . . grrrr.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

P.S. Of course, I was born and raised a Bears fan, which was a beautiful thing when I was ten, but now just adds insult to injury (after injury, after injury. . . ugh).

P.P.S. Giants suck.

Hey, ya like that? I can double-post with the best of 'em! Yeah!

Dman,

Well, yes, Giants fans tend to be manhattanites whereas Jets fans have traditionally been from the outer boroughs, which is a eupemism for "the overbuilt shantytowns encircling real New York."

Giants fans tend to be a little more upscale than Jets fans. The Giants are an older team, and tickets were long hard to get, except by legacy. The Jets appealed to those NY'ers who weren't lucky enough to have season tickets in the family.

Plus, they were always the upstarts and underdogs, which I guess appealed more to the non-wealthy.

I liked the Giants when I was a kid in New Jersey, before I really was aware of this, so I'm not a fan because I'm a snob or anything.

"Of course, I was born and raised a Bears fan"

No wonder you don't believe in God :)

Do I need to mention "loose shit" or integrity to get you to recognize the greatness of Tim Hasselbeck?

I may send an email to Tim. He doesn't get a lot of press and will be very upset that his prime time spot on Ace of Spades is being upstaged by his older brother.

Since I live in New England, my backup plan should really be the Patriots, but I can't bring myself to root for them.

I think it's cute that NFL still lets the Giants play in the league.

And I hate Doug Flutie with a white-hot hate. Even for a quaterback he has an overinflated "me, me, me" problem. He puts one face on for the public but is a complete ass any other time even refusing to help the other quarterbacks.

Really, I hate him a lot.

Go Bills!

Steelers fan here, born and bred. I have a vague memory of the glory days in the 70's when all of western Pennsylvania was walking tall.

I heard Rothlisberger was not doing so well in camp and the pre-season though. :(

Dave and I agree on something. The Giants do in fact suck.

And Dave... my heart goes out to you for having such a crappy choice of football teams to choose from.

Well... not really.

How about this:

'Flutie goes back to pass. Pass goes wide. Flutie passes. Pass complete to Pass. Pass goes out of bounds. Ten yard gain.'

Yeah, cut the sonovabitch.

Ace, keep an eye on Ellis Hobbs III, a rookie CB third-rounder playing for the Pats. He played for my alma mater, and that little guy is tougher than a $2 sirloin. He's going to make an impact for a great team this year, and you would be able to say "What's the big deal? I knew Hobbs was a stud before the season started." His kick returns are going to be essential this year, especially since the Pats lost their regular returner to a bum knee in the pre-season.

The Giants, you say? They are the senior football squad that plays in the Meadowlands, yes?

Sorry, but both of those potzer crews remind me of "my" US Senators: they might have 'NY' attached to their names, but they got jack squat meaning to me.

27-3 is 'just barely'?

Mind you, the 6-0 score at halftime wasn't exactly inspiring.

I think it's cute that NFL still lets the Giants play in the league.

Yeah, I think they gave them a lifetime pass after Norwood missed wide right.

"Yeah, I think they gave them a lifetime pass after Norwood missed wide right."

rofl! How many Super Bowls have the Bills won?

Come on...can any team be worse than the Dallas Cowboys

The Dolphins look primed and poised to continue their recent run of failure.

I imagine it won't take much beyond game #3 before the chorus rises up demanding Sabin's dismemberment by wild animals.

Ace, I guess you never followed that Pats that closely, because this is the fifth season that Pass has been on the team. But if you do want to cut him his most likely replacement is Kyle Eckel, a recent graduate from the Naval Academy

Tim's the one married to Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View, not Matt. Tim also has hair, unlike Matt.

I actually liked Tim while he was quarterback of my Washington Redskins. The Redskins have been pretty bad since I started watching them in 1994. But I continue to hope!

Cubs fans have nothing on me.

Okay, Ace, this post cracked me up and I don't even remotely like to watch football. "My" team is the Redskins, you see.

I chose them not just for proximity but because one of them once, apparently, tried to flirt with my wife. And thus I take great delight in observing their continuous humiliations, even though she just sent him off with a flea in his ear and I hadn't even met her back then. Like any Southern girl, I can hold a grudge forever.

So one of my favorite moments on The Left Wing was when Leo has them all in his office, and he's like, "So, what else?" Josh is reading a newspaper. He looks up and says, "The Redskins suck!"

I cherish that line. Fortunately, I hear it quite often.

Bears fan here. Cry in your beer alone...

I know I will.

"It's very annoying that one of NE's running backs in named "Pass." This leads to commentators saying things like "Flutie to Pass again," and then seeing a guy run right up the middle with the ball after a hand-off. "Pass for three yards" (after a short run), etc.

It will get very confusing on draws. "Brady drops back to pass, no, it's a draw-fake, now Brady goes to Pass."

I kinda hope he gets cut, just because his name bothers me."

For some reason I'm just rereading this bit over and over and laughing helplessly. Like, until my eyes tear up and muscles in my legs start twitching. It sort of reminds me of that Abbott & Costello skit, Who's on First.

I think I'm suffering from severe sleep deprivation. :)