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August 25, 2005

A Titan Versus A Titan! Victor Davis Hanson To Debate Arianna Huffington

The topic? US foreign policy, of course -- Arianna's forte (forte is a Latin term meaning "something about which someone knows very little but twitters on about ad nauseum").

They'll be hashing out whether it's "interventionist" or "imperialist." Giggle.

INTERVIEWER: And what is your prediction for this fight?

CLUBBER LANG: My prediction?

INTERVIEWER: Yes, your prediction.

CLUBBER LANG (turns menacingly to camera): Pain.

Okay, so it's not really a titan versus a titan, but that's the quote from Clash of the Titans.

I'd've preferred it if the quote was "A Titan versus a brain-damaged cartoon chipmunk," but I have to stick with canon material.

If I were Hanson, I'd just pretend to be wealthy, bisexual, and in need of a beard-wife. That should distract Arianna.

Then again, small shiny objects distract Arianna, so maybe he should just wear some sparkly bangles.

Thanks to the Rocketeer.

posted by Ace at 03:47 PM

Comments

"I reject your challenge because you are no challenge!"

Posted by: The Warden on August 25, 2005 03:52 PM

If there is a God in Heaven, C-SPAN will be there taping it.

Posted by: Jimmie on August 25, 2005 03:55 PM

Ace,

You've blown my deep cover. I feel so violated, like...Valeria Plame.

I'll see you frog-marched into Gitmo, alogside that evil Karl Rove.

Bastard.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 25, 2005 03:56 PM

Uh, Valerie. But you know what I mean.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 25, 2005 03:57 PM

This is a joke. Right? It's gotta be a joke. VDH is one of the foremost military historians and classicists of our time; Huffington is a dumb rhymes-with-punt.

Posted by: Monty on August 25, 2005 04:02 PM

I don't think its nice you calling her a runt. I've seen her and she's not that short!

Posted by: BrewFan on August 25, 2005 04:05 PM

What? Oh. Never mind.

Posted by: BrewFan on August 25, 2005 04:06 PM

Blood letting match ups like this are bad for debating - only gonna strengthen those who say it appeals to our basest instincts and wanna see the gov. come in and ban this shit.

This keeps up, in a couple years it's gonna have to move all offshore. Mark Steyn v. Susan Saradon in an octogon cage match in the Phillipines. Maybe Thailand. Mark my words, that's where it's all headed unless Debating get it's act cleaned up.

Posted by: Ray Midge on August 25, 2005 04:08 PM

Seriously, I would pay very very good money to see this show. I'd want front row tickets, and a poncho to keep Arianna's bloodspatter off my fancy clothes.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 25, 2005 04:08 PM

A titan versus a titian, you mean?

Posted by: Brainster on August 25, 2005 04:12 PM

This is such a dumb idea that it's actually gone all the way around the circle and become an awesome idea.

Posted by: tachyonshuggy on August 25, 2005 04:15 PM

I saw something like this at the Upstate Fair in South Carolina a few years back. They had a tent where for $5, you could watch a bear fight a monkey.

Altough in that case, for a split second there was at least a little question as to whether the monkey just might pull it off.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 25, 2005 04:18 PM

I predict that Arianna, who probably has only the vaguest sort of notion of whom VDH is, will pick up Carnage and Culture or The Western Way of War, realize how badly outclassed she is, and come up with some mysterious ailment that will prevent her from attending the debate.

Posted by: Monty on August 25, 2005 04:19 PM

Arianna: Hanson = Nazi!!!!

Posted by: on August 25, 2005 04:25 PM

I fondly remember that scene from Clash of the Titans. That was right before Clubber Lang uses Medusa's head to kick the Kraken's ass, right?

Posted by: apotheosis on August 25, 2005 04:58 PM

Hanson is so going to kick her @$$. God, I wanna watch.

Posted by: SGT Dan on August 25, 2005 05:47 PM

I suggest the venue's managment invest in one of these.

Posted by: keggin on August 25, 2005 06:16 PM

I will pay $1,000 right now to see Mark Steyn v. Susan Saradon in an octogon cage match in the Phillipines - who's with me!?!?!?

Posted by: holdfast on August 25, 2005 08:14 PM

Wait a minute now, this may not be such a slam dunk as we would like to think. It may be that Arianna is going to say something so mind-bogglingly ignorant and stupid (and I would say the chances of this happening are pretty good) that VDH simply won't know how to answer. He'll just stand there with his mouth open like a gutted fish.. And Arianna will win on points.

Posted by: OregonMuse on August 25, 2005 09:37 PM

Now that I've stopped laughing long enough to type: this is going to make Dick Cheney vs. Lidsay Graha... oops, John Edwards look like an even match. And Johnny should have known better than to argue with an adult.

Posted by: Border Reiver on August 25, 2005 09:38 PM

I heard that Huffington did belong to Oxford Debating Union. I hope Professor Hanson is not as cocky as you guys.

He won't be able to get away with saying -- ala Dan Ackroyd -- 'Arianna, you ignorant slut.'

Posted by: Simon Oliver Lockwood on August 25, 2005 09:42 PM

Not that I particularly care about typos, Ace, but it's ad nauseAm. Hope that doesn't make you sick. :)

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 25, 2005 09:48 PM

Arianna ran for governer. I've heard her debate. She's not dumb but she is too much of a hypocrite and that's what kills her every time.

And if all else fails, all VDH has to do is mention a "swirlie."

Posted by: on August 25, 2005 10:42 PM

He won't be able to get away with saying -- ala Dan Ackroyd -- 'Arianna, you ignorant slut.'

She'll handle getting that message across all by herself.

Posted by: keggin on August 26, 2005 01:28 AM

"Ariana, you stupid slut"

...er, you say that like its a bad thing.

Posted by: susan sontag on August 26, 2005 11:28 AM

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Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk birthright citizenship, the 14th Amendment and SCOTUS, no boots in Iran, Artemis II and refocusing NASA, the NBA's hatred of everything non-woke, and more!

In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.

In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023.
Tons of chemicals are detected in the atmospheres of celestial objects every day. But dimethyl sulfide is different, because on Earth, it's only produced by living organisms.
"It is a shock to the system," Nikku Madhusudhan, first author on the paper, told the New York Times. "We spent an enormous amount of time just trying to get rid of the signal."

He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.

Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
Great marketing arranged by Amazon to promote Project Hail Mary. Okay not really but it does work out that way.

TJM talks John Boorman, director of Excalibur

Good rickroll

What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.

A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.

The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.

Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]

TJM acts like he knows anything about John Wick and screenwriting. It's embarrassing, really.

Podcast: Sefton and CBD talk about how would a peace treaty with Iran work, Democrats defending murderers and rapists, The GOP vs. Dem bench for 2028, composting bodies? And more!

Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."

Batman fires The Batman
Batman is disgusted by the Joachim Phoenix version of Joker
Batman tries to fire Superman
Batman is still workshopping his Bat-Voice

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please
I'm even on knees
Makin' love to whoever I please
I gotta do it my way
Or no way at all

Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)

Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]

TJM gives you a brief tour of his movie collection.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter
One day I'm gonna get that faculty together
Remember that everybody has to wait in line
Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine

US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.

Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies

“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”