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« Why I hate lawyers. | Main | "Moderate" British Muslims Seem To Threaten British Government »
August 16, 2005

Top Conservative Films?

Football Fans For Truth nominates five.

I'll meniton a couple more that I've already mentioned:


Blast From The Past. This one is almost jaw-droppingly conservative. Christopher Walken plays a slightly paranoid but thoroughly good father who builds a massive bomb shelter to protect his family against the inevitable Commie nuclear strike. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, he and his pregnant wife (Sissy Spacek) duck down into the shelter, only to have an Air Force jet on routine patrol crash into their home... making them believe that the nuclear strike has indeed come. (Not sure why they have no radios down in the bunker; maybe they take care of that by saying that the crash destroyed their radio mast, and they're too far down to pick up any signals without it.)

At any rate, Brendan Frasier is born and lives his whole life in the shelter, until the suprisingly-old age of 34. He emerges from the shelter an anachronism, striding into the late nineties with the mores and attitudes and virtues of the fifties (well, the early sixties, which is the same thing).

Though clueless about a lot, this fish out of water has a lot to teach the surface-dwellers, including "Always listen to your parents," "Always show good manners," and "Always be ready to defend yourself against someone who wants to punch you." And, in a rare twist, he has nothing really at all to learn from the nineties-folk-- he's not racist nor a homophobe, and in fact likes blacks and gays.

His romantic interest, and her gay friend, wind up accepting and appreciating his moral code... after, of course, a long period of resistance and doubting his sanity.

Consistently funny and charming, with a great swing-dance sequence, a nice punch-up of a cad, an awful lot of hot just-under-the-surface sexuality without any actual sex, and Christopher Walken hilarious as ever.


Kate & Leopold. Basically Blast From the Past II, this time featuring Hugh Jackman as an accidental time-traveller bringing the honor and manners of the 1890's to an increasingly dishonorable and mannerless year 2000.

Some women think it's anti-feminist that Meg Ryan ultimately abandons the feminist future to live with her true love in the un-feminist past, but I guess that just makes it more conservative.

And, to be fair, the director tried to make her life and her job pretty dismal, but anytime you have a woman working in a very nice office at a very nice salary there will be feminists who object to the trade-off. And why she had to go back to his time, rather than him remaining in her time-- but who says it's always the guy who has to give? 'Sides, his absence from the past is screwing up the future timeline, wreaking all sorts of mechanical havoc (as he would go on to invent the elevator).

Bonus archconservative moment: The oily Josh Lyman (or whatever) from The West Wing plays a caddish and even oilier version of that character in the movie, and is thoroughly humiliated by Hugh Jackman in the movie's best scene. Too bad the rest of the West Wing cast wasn't also on hand to be pistol-whipped by Jackman.


Guarding Tess. Just one of my favorite movies, a little understated, but frequently funny and touching. Nick Cage is absolutely great as buttoned-up Secret Service Agent Doug Chesznik, who is assigned, against his will, to the dead-end job of protecting a former First Lady whose husband has died, a very disagreeable and unpleasant piece of work.

Things heat up when, improbably enough, she's abducted by what are presumed to be Middle Eastern terrorists.

Dirty Harry-esque Archconservative Moment: Agent Chesznik threatens to shoot a suspect who won't talk. And then he does more than threaten. He actually blows the son of a bitch's toe off. Not typical for a light comedy.

While we're on the topic of movies... I don't know if these are conservative, but they're surprisingly good, and on Pay Per View and DVD now. Assault on Precinct 13, Hostage, The Machinist, Saw, The Jacket, and Hide & Seek are all worth watching.

The Machinist starts off a little slow, but slow in an interesting way, and turns out to be very creepy and strange. Give it time.

The Jacket starts out even slower, and I almost turned the thing off a half hour into it, but just in the nick of time it gets interesting. Five more minutes of delay in getting on with things would have resulted in a pan for the sluggish first thirty minutes. This one, too, needs a little time, but unlike the Machinist, it isn't even terribly mysterious or creepy in its slow opening. Still, it does ultimately pay off.

posted by Ace at 01:25 PM
Comments



I liked Guarding Tess immensely and greatly enjoyed Blast from the Past. It is rare when I can watch a movie inwhich Hollywood hasn't placed some barb aimed at conservatives and/or the religious.

Posted by: Fersboo on August 16, 2005 02:07 PM

If you define conservative as someone unabashedly pro military, values individual fortitude over group think solutions, prefers actions over feelings, values self sufficiency, mocks whiners, can appear thick skinned on the outside but sympathetic on the inside and has no patience or sympathy for criminals then I belive there are a multitude of films to choose from that starred John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson, Jimmy Stewart, Charlton Heston, Charles Bronson and Tom Selleck.

For the non action film with a socially conservative message my favorite is Uncle Buck.


Posted by: Dman on August 16, 2005 02:23 PM

Barbershop. The best part about it is I don't think anyone involved in the making of this film had any intent of making a conservative film, and would probably be aghast at the notion. But it is, and not just during the "F*** Jesse Jackson" moment. The entire movie is a validation of conservative values, and it's funny as hell. By incredible coincidence, it also grossed about five times more at the box office than anyone thought it would.

Posted by: Gib on August 16, 2005 02:36 PM

Another is the first (and maybe second) of the Charles Bronson's Death Wish movies (before it got sequeled to death). Similar to Dirty Harry.

Posted by: Dogstar on August 16, 2005 02:53 PM

Don't forget Red Dawn, a movie where teenagers whup up on Commies invading America.

Posted by: Patrick Carver on August 16, 2005 03:02 PM

We're talking the best conservatives films not the most conservative films, right? And by conservative, we're including those ranging from films that embrace more or less traditional values to those that have an overt conservative political agenda, right? And documentaries don't count, right? OK, here goes:

Patton (old school genius stuck in a PC world)

American History X (Ed Norton was right about half the time, the other half shows what happens when conservativism is taken too seriously)

Incredibles (If everyone is special, then no one is--nuff said).

Dirty Harry (Every conservative dreams he can be Dirty Harry every once in a while at least)

Life of Brian (if only for the People's front of Judea and how they answer the question "What have the Romans done for us?")

Cinderella Man (Horatio Alger in boxing gloves)

Deterrence (God, hopefully it will never come to this, but I am afraid it will)

Happiness (What life is like with no conservative values at all--scary)


Posted by: fasterplease on August 16, 2005 04:05 PM

Patrick Carver: I feared no one would mention "Red Dawn". What a great movie...WOLVERINES!!!

Posted by: madne0 on August 16, 2005 04:18 PM

Just read Football Fans For Truth's post, and i must second "The Barbarian Invasions". First time i saw it on TV i was suspicious. C'mon, it's a movie from Quebec! I expected it to be to the left of Mao. Not so, not so at all. Highly recommended.

Posted by: madne0 on August 16, 2005 04:29 PM

While I wouldn't call it conservative, it's far from liberal. My pick is Gunner Palace because it gives a very fair portrait of US soldiers at war.

Posted by: Stuart Wilf on August 16, 2005 06:01 PM

Team America - heck yeah!

Posted by: John Climacus on August 16, 2005 06:34 PM

Dman:

Uncle Buck rules.

Posted by: SJKevin on August 16, 2005 07:19 PM

Here's my nomination for a good conservative film: Braveheart. 'Nuff said.


Posted by: Wes S. on August 16, 2005 08:37 PM

The movie Barcelona is an all time favorite. It's such a great, funny movie and very, very conservative.

Posted by: rakmjn1 on August 16, 2005 10:14 PM

Yes, that was the first one I thought of, then I forgot it, and sat there wondering "What the hell was that movie I was just thinking of?"

Definitely Barcelona.

Posted by: ace on August 17, 2005 12:04 AM

Peter Jacksons Lord of the Rings Trilogy is probably the most influential, yet underrated, conservative film of our generation. Think about its main themes; Good vs. Evil, loyalty, bravery and preserverence in the face of overwhelming odds, the corrosive effect of power, and sacrafice for the greater good.

The works of Tolkien are profoundly conservative in nature, and the exposure his works recieved at the hands of Peter Jackson will bring them to a whole new generation.

Consider this post I recieved from friend serving in Iraq a couple of years ago (lost the original post, photos left to your imagination). The quotes are from Tolkiens' more obscure Silmarillion:

“Yet it is said that Morgoth looked not for the assault that came upon him from the West; for so great was his pride become that he deemed that none would ever again come with open war against him...

(Saddam in Glory)

Moveover he thought that he had for ever estranged the Noldor from the Lords of the West, and that content in their blissful realm the Valar would heed nor more his kingdom in the world without; for to him that is pitiless the deeds of pity are ever strange and beyond reckoning. But the hosts of the Valar prepared for battle...”

(American Preparation)

“But at last the might of Valinor came up out of the West, and ... the host of the Valar were arrayed in forms young and fair and terrible, and the mountians rang beneathe their feet.”

(Young Americans bound for Iraq)

“The meeting of the hosts of the West and of the North is named the Great Battle, and the War of Wrath. There was marshalled the whole power of the throne of Morgoth, and it had become great beyond count...”

(Iraqui propaganda)

“...But it availed him not. The Balrogs were destroyed, save some few that fled and hid themselves in caverns inaccesible at the roots of the earth;

(WMDs, Bekka valley)

“Then, seeing that his hosts were overthrown and his power dispersed, Morgoth quailed, and he dared not to come forth himself”

(Saddams’ final TV address)

“Then the sun rose, and the host of the Valar prevailed... and all the pits of Morgoth were broken and unroofed, and the might of the Valar descended unto the deeps of the earth.”

(U.S. Troops securing bunkers under Baghdad)

“There Morgoth stood at last at bay, and yet unvaliant. He fled into the deepest of his mines and sued for peace and pardon;”

(Saddam in Spiderhole)

but his feet were hewn from under him, and he was hurled upon his face...

(Saddam in Headlock)

Thus was an end made to the power of Angband ... and the evil realm was brought to naught; and out of the deep prisons a multitude of slaves came forth beyond all hope into the the light of day, and they looked upon a world that was changed.”

(Saddams' prisoners released)

Yet the lies that Melkor, the mighty and accursed, Morgoth Bauglir, the Power of Terror and of Hate, sowed in the hearts of ... Men are a seed that does not die and cannon be destroyed; and ever and anon it sprouts anew, and will bear dark fruit even unto the latest days.”

(Michael Moore/Anti-war protesters)

Posted by: Scott Free on August 17, 2005 12:29 AM

How about The Hunt For Red October - very pro American Military. At the end, just before the Russian attack sub is destroyed, its first officer says to his captain "you arrogant ass - YOU'VE KILLED US!!" and then a big white star covers the entire screen for one frame when the torpedo explodes.

Nice propaganda.

Posted by: Britt on August 17, 2005 04:15 PM

Regarding LotR, very conservative.

The liberal way would have been to return the ring to it's rightful owner, and then try and get Sauron in the Middle Earth Hague as he tries to run rampant across the land.

Instead, they fight an enemy who had not necessarily attacked them, but who was likely to. Even more importantly, they attacked him while he was still weak.

If we are talking TV series' how about The Shield ?

Posted by: Ring on August 18, 2005 03:38 PM

I loved Blast from the Past and enjoyed the romance between Alicia Silverstone and Brendan Fraiser. For good conservative films, Dennis Quaid has been on a roll since 2000. Here are my faves (also posted on the Football fans blog):


FREQUENCY (2000) is a great conservative movie wrapped up as a thriller. Jim Caviezel is a cop whose life is falling apart and his emotional problems are a direct result of the death of his beloved father, Dennis Quaid, when Caviezal was a boy. Over 30 years ago, Quaid was a firefighter killed in the line of duty. He was also a great husband and father whose death created negative ripples in his family especially in his son. A freak event allows the grown son (Caviezel), to communicate with his dad (Quaid) 30 years in the past using an old ham radio. They end up working together to save the life of his mother (Quaid’s wife) and stopping a serial killer. It’s a good action / thriller with conservative values including the values of fathers / husbands, how the loss of a father negatively impacts a family, and how love and family triumph over a serial killer. Liberals and ultra-feminists who push the message that men and fathers are irrelevant must hate the film’s core message about the importance of dads. It’s a heart-warming story, a cool little action thriller and I cheered the father/son love story.


THE ROOKIE (2002) - the true life story of a small-town high school coach who makes a deal with his team that he will pursue his dream to pitch in the majors if they make the playoffs. Not as good as Frequency but still good stuff.


IN GOOD COMPANY (2004) – Quaid plays a loving husband and father who’s demoted at work and forced to work for inexperienced new boss who’s all of 26. The daughter, 19 or so, dates the boss behind her father’s back. The daughter is a little flaky but she goes to NYU, so what do you expect. Quaid is a great dad, loving husband and an honest business man who teaches his young boss about honor and integrity in business. Good drama with lots of humor.

Classic – HIGH NOON with Gary Cooper. I grew up on Bonanza and The Big Valley. I would get so mad at Ben Cartwright for allowing his neighbors to stab him in the back time after time, and them giving them a pass on it. One western weekend, I discovered High Noon and cheered when he threw the badge in the dirt. Go Gary, Go Gary, Go, Go, Go Gary!

Posted by: Black Redneck on August 20, 2005 06:17 PM
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Top Headlines
What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*
Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
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Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
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US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.
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“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”
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