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August 14, 2005
Caretakers Forced To Show Koko The Sign-Language Gorilla Their BreastsApparently Koko kept signing "Show Your Tits" and "Come on baby, I gots me some beads." The women allege they were pressured to show the massive mammal their mammaries or else face "consequences." Oh, and just in case it's not weird enough already, Koko is said to have a "nipple fetish." Forcing women to bear their breasts to a six-hundred-pound gorilla with a nipple fetish? Someone better call OSHA; this is legitmately dangerous. Why, it's almost as dangerous as sitting on a roadside in Crawford, Texas and giving interviews to a fawning world press. Thanks to FasterPlease. posted by Ace at 03:26 PM
CommentsTwo things: Is Koko a lesbian? Posted by: harrison on August 14, 2005 04:03 PM
Too funny! Posted by: Redhand on August 14, 2005 04:51 PM
if only phil hartman were still around. Posted by: ramms on August 14, 2005 04:57 PM
And will Koko begin therapy or is a lesbian gorilla "O.K."? Posted by: harrison on August 14, 2005 05:17 PM
Gorillas need love too! Posted by: PETA on August 14, 2005 05:27 PM
The better question is whether ace will rent a gorilla suit, sit out on the street and sign, I'm Koko, Show Me Your Tits? Posted by: on August 14, 2005 05:39 PM
This story is just all kinds of wrong. Posted by: on August 14, 2005 07:28 PM
Since Koko knows some sign language, she should be able to testify at the witness stand. Then the trial really will be a media circus. Posted by: SJKevin on August 14, 2005 07:40 PM
Nipples! Gorillas! Hot babe flashing! Oh yeah, and watch for next months issue of Hot Monkey Love magazine with a special edition photo essay entitled "They may not have fur on them, but in a pinch they'll do". Posted by: Rick on August 14, 2005 08:17 PM
Couldn't stop laughing at this one, Ace. But really now-- you think this story is legit? Posted by: James Hamilton on August 15, 2005 12:41 AM
That Patterson chick should be fired. It sounds like she's TEACHING the gorilla sexual deviant behavior. What a freak. Posted by: Jenny on August 15, 2005 09:08 AM
Uh oh. I posted a comment in this thread, and it's not here. Now I have to wonder...what completely inappropriate thread did I just drop a comment about Koko the breast-obsessed gorilla in? Posted by: S. Weasel on August 15, 2005 09:12 AM
I think this is an OLD story...unless it just happened again. Posted by: brainy435 on August 15, 2005 11:48 AM
Animals! They act like men. Posted by: Jeff on August 15, 2005 04:40 PM
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Paul Sperry
Deport...Deport...Deport The F***ing Lot! A new UK anthem? [Hat Tip: S.E.] [CBD]
Trump: Ukraine War 'Thousands of Miles Away' is 'Nothing to Do' with America Russia isn't threatening to kill Americans! [CBD]
Update to Gavin Newsom Under Investigation story: This investigation was begun under Senor Dementia:
Adam Housley
Teen Driver Tayvin Galanakis Wins Jury Trial Against Officers Who Charged Him With DUI Even After He Blew 0.0 on A Breathalyzer And Passed Sobriety Tests. One Officer Accounted For 72% of All DUI Arrests For That PD [dri]
Days before the woman was stabbed in the neck by a taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer, in the same general area, another taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer attacked a boy and bloodied his head with a brick.
What is the UK Regime's plan for protecting the citizens from the savage criminals they've foisted on the populace? They offer NONE. They do, however, have a plan for protecting the savage criminals from the citizens: The citizens must STAY CALM and not get angry and not share videos of citizens being attacked by savage criminals. The public keeps saying "protect us from the foreign savages you have imported against our wishes and over our objections" and the UK branch of The Regime keeps proposing plans to protect the foreign savages from the public. Soclose to what the public is demanding, just, you know, the complete opposite. Just a thought: Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the public attacking the savage criminals if you actually introduced a plan to protect the public from the savage criminals. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if it was necessary for them to protect the public through self-help.
Courtney Subramiam, one of the "journalists" who "previewed" her questions for the decrepit and demented Biden so that he could "answer" it with a pre-scripted response, rewarded by promotion to president of the White House Press Corps
Bonchie You know what's really terrible? There are Daily Signal reporters in the press room. That's the Real Scandal Here!
English racist garbage-person who's on the wrong side of history warns the corrupt Regime that the people cannot take much more of this -- and won't take much more of this
The English have rebelled before.
You might think that movie critics by nature are effeminate and bitchy, but, did you know that grass is green and red peppers are red?
Odd 90s-Retro Susan Collins ad against the Nazi Hotchkiss "hobby farmer"
I like the throwback AOL style of the ad.
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