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« Cindy Sheehan, Demented Liar | Main | UN, Fearing Terrorist Attack on NYC HQ, Builds... A Security Fence »
August 14, 2005

Caretakers Forced To Show Koko The Sign-Language Gorilla Their Breasts

Apparently Koko kept signing "Show Your Tits" and "Come on baby, I gots me some beads."

The women allege they were pressured to show the massive mammal their mammaries or else face "consequences."

Oh, and just in case it's not weird enough already, Koko is said to have a "nipple fetish."

Forcing women to bear their breasts to a six-hundred-pound gorilla with a nipple fetish? Someone better call OSHA; this is legitmately dangerous.

Why, it's almost as dangerous as sitting on a roadside in Crawford, Texas and giving interviews to a fawning world press.

Thanks to FasterPlease.


posted by Ace at 03:26 PM
Comments



Two things: Is Koko a lesbian?
And why aren't they suing the gorilla,too?

Posted by: harrison on August 14, 2005 04:03 PM

Too funny!

Posted by: Redhand on August 14, 2005 04:51 PM

if only phil hartman were still around.
"ladies and gentlemen of the jury, i'm just a simple gorrila. i know not of your 'sexual harrasment'. your 'restraining orders' confuse and frighten me."

Posted by: ramms on August 14, 2005 04:57 PM

And will Koko begin therapy or is a lesbian gorilla "O.K."?

Posted by: harrison on August 14, 2005 05:17 PM

Gorillas need love too!

Posted by: PETA on August 14, 2005 05:27 PM

The better question is whether ace will rent a gorilla suit, sit out on the street and sign, I'm Koko, Show Me Your Tits?

Posted by: on August 14, 2005 05:39 PM

This story is just all kinds of wrong.

Posted by: on August 14, 2005 07:28 PM

Since Koko knows some sign language, she should be able to testify at the witness stand. Then the trial really will be a media circus.

Posted by: SJKevin on August 14, 2005 07:40 PM

Nipples! Gorillas! Hot babe flashing!
I...
It...
They....
Uh,
Jesus, this thing just locks up my brain.

Oh yeah, and watch for next months issue of Hot Monkey Love magazine with a special edition photo essay entitled "They may not have fur on them, but in a pinch they'll do".

Posted by: Rick on August 14, 2005 08:17 PM

Couldn't stop laughing at this one, Ace. But really now-- you think this story is legit?

Posted by: James Hamilton on August 15, 2005 12:41 AM

That Patterson chick should be fired. It sounds like she's TEACHING the gorilla sexual deviant behavior. What a freak.

Posted by: Jenny on August 15, 2005 09:08 AM

Uh oh. I posted a comment in this thread, and it's not here. Now I have to wonder...what completely inappropriate thread did I just drop a comment about Koko the breast-obsessed gorilla in?

Posted by: S. Weasel on August 15, 2005 09:12 AM

I think this is an OLD story...unless it just happened again.

Posted by: brainy435 on August 15, 2005 11:48 AM

Animals! They act like men.

Posted by: Jeff on August 15, 2005 04:40 PM
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