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August 14, 2005
So that's why we liberated Afghanistan!We already knew that Iraq was merely a ploy by the neo-con Zionists who control the planet from the basement of a brothel in Tel Aviv. We didn't need Michael Moore to alert us to the theft of Iraq's crude oil in order to enrich the good old boys at Halliburton. But why on Earth did we liberate a country which makes Bedrock look cosmopolitan by comparison? I'll tell you why! With Major League Baseball cracking down on steroids, we needed a new market to replace all that lost revenue. And what better place than Kabul to do so? posted by Tanker at 12:49 PM
CommentsEw! Posted by: Random Passerby on August 14, 2005 01:30 PM
Much of the Afgan territory is a pristine playground for budding US capitalists. We could literally mine our landfills and ship the stuff over there and it would be an upgrade for the poor out in the countryside. Of course you might have to take a goat in trade for a D9 Cat flattened Sinclair ZX81, but at least you could eat or milk the goat...then next week you get to sell them a broken generator so they can power their new "personal computer". Think of the tactical possibilities too! We have a huge problem with hi-tech garbage in this country - old computers/monitors/TV's etc. Load all this crap up into the bomb bay of some B52's and we could bomb the Taliban with techno-garbage killing two birds with one stone. Getting konked on the head with a TV dropped from 30,000 feet up has to hurt as bad as an expensive bomb would. Posted by: tony on August 14, 2005 02:02 PM
Should be subtitled "Man's genitals crushed by massive thighs" Posted by: on August 14, 2005 02:13 PM
Tony, about 17 years ago there was a satirical book looking back on the 90's. Ed Begley Jr.'s contribution, featuring himself as President, detailed a war in which the cars previously imported from the enemy nation were loaded on Navy ships and used as ballistic loads to bombard their defenses. In that era the expected foe was a resurgent Japan but the artwork depicted a VW Bug being fired out of a battleship gun. Posted by: epobirs on August 15, 2005 03:50 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
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You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
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