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« Ready, set... | Main | Parkour Extreme Chase Sequence »
August 14, 2005

So that's why we liberated Afghanistan!

We already knew that Iraq was merely a ploy by the neo-con Zionists who control the planet from the basement of a brothel in Tel Aviv. We didn't need Michael Moore to alert us to the theft of Iraq's crude oil in order to enrich the good old boys at Halliburton. But why on Earth did we liberate a country which makes Bedrock look cosmopolitan by comparison?

I'll tell you why! With Major League Baseball cracking down on steroids, we needed a new market to replace all that lost revenue. And what better place than Kabul to do so?

Case closed!


posted by Tanker at 12:49 PM
Comments



Ew!

Posted by: Random Passerby on August 14, 2005 01:30 PM

Much of the Afgan territory is a pristine playground for budding US capitalists.

We could literally mine our landfills and ship the stuff over there and it would be an upgrade for the poor out in the countryside.

Of course you might have to take a goat in trade for a D9 Cat flattened Sinclair ZX81, but at least you could eat or milk the goat...then next week you get to sell them a broken generator so they can power their new "personal computer".

Think of the tactical possibilities too! We have a huge problem with hi-tech garbage in this country - old computers/monitors/TV's etc. Load all this crap up into the bomb bay of some B52's and we could bomb the Taliban with techno-garbage killing two birds with one stone. Getting konked on the head with a TV dropped from 30,000 feet up has to hurt as bad as an expensive bomb would.

Posted by: tony on August 14, 2005 02:02 PM

Should be subtitled "Man's genitals crushed by massive thighs"

Posted by: on August 14, 2005 02:13 PM

Tony, about 17 years ago there was a satirical book looking back on the 90's. Ed Begley Jr.'s contribution, featuring himself as President, detailed a war in which the cars previously imported from the enemy nation were loaded on Navy ships and used as ballistic loads to bombard their defenses. In that era the expected foe was a resurgent Japan but the artwork depicted a VW Bug being fired out of a battleship gun.

Posted by: epobirs on August 15, 2005 03:50 AM
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