Ace of Spades HQ

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents.
Erika Kirk was present.

Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry
when you said good-bye
70s, not 50s
Now that is a motherflipping intro

Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it!

TJM explores the films of Peter Weir, director of Master and Commander

TJM discusses the different adaptations of Dune

NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]

TJM discusses Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Portlandia: Would you like to double down on your meal?

Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him

Tucker Carlson Network
@TCNetwork

The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus.

Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity.

Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this.
He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again.
You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.

Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk Orban losing, but is it the end of Hungary? The Irish start a brawl, but is it enough, Pope Leo wades into politics, Trump calls Iran's bluff and blockades Hormuz, Artemis II! Swallwell is scum, and more!

People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Alfred Hitchcock

@KFILE 21m

Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups."

So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations.
That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera
Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite
thanks to weft-cut loop.

This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.

Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.

Artemis II Crew releases clearest images of the Far Side yet recorded

Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker.
And I guess you think you've got it made
Oh, but then, you never were afraid
Of anything that you've left behind
Oh, but it's alright with me now
'Cause I'll get back up somehow
And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win
Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.

Sarah Longwell spotting

Tuq'r's makeover is 100!

Alfred Hitchcock learns to talk with TJM

Recent Comments

RedMindBlueState[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "I cook mine at 225ish to an internal temperature o ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "So we got this one Kashi GO Protein Cereal, 10g Pr ..."

Bob Ben Had: "I'm going to try putting some pork chops in the c ..."

Pete Bog: "What is properly? Never done a reverse sear. Tryin ..."

Miflin: "Nigh on decades ago, I was a short time laborer in ..."

JackStraw: ">>What is properly? Never done a reverse sear. Try ..."

tcn in AK: "I think the only way DH likes pork chops is if I s ..."

CharlieBrown'sDildo: "[i]Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 26, 2026 06:48 ..."

tcn in AK: "It will if done properly. Don’t shake em you ..."

Bob Ben Had: "CBD, thank you for this thread. My cooking ability ..."

CharlieBrown'sDildo: "It will if done properly. Don’t shake em you ..."

DreddBolt: "We don't eat the offal because we don't have too ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Gun Thread: End O' April Edition! Food Thread: Wash That Knife! Carve That Leg! Peel That Carrot! First World Problems... Shipbuilding As A Priority For Our Navy? What A Concept! Book Thread [Sabrina Chase] Daily Tech News 26 April 2026 Saturday Night Club ONT - April 25, 2026 [D Squared] Another Democrat Inspired Assassin Attempts to Kill Trump; Trump And All Innocents Appear Safe and Unharmed, and the Left-Wing Assassin Apprehended The Alan Trustman Affair [Lex] Hobby Thread - April 25, 2026 [TRex] Absent Friends Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups NoVaMoMe 2026: 06/20/2026 Arlington VA Contact Bluebell/Weasel for info Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Lefty Blogger Venom \| Main \| A Reality Show For Men: Bobby Knight's Basketball Clinic » August 08, 2005 Middle-Management McGuyvering: Take Care of That Pederast Hanorhan With Your Very Own Cubicle Crossbow! I certainly don't endorse the construction of lethal weapons from common office supplies like paper clips, rubber bands, and pencils, but, as Clarence Whorley said in True Romance, "I'd rather have an improvised paper-clip crossbow and not need it than need a paper-clip crossbow and not have it." You know what makes this rock? The laser-pointer laser-site. Because we all know, from action movies, that just putting that little red dot on someone is enough to send them diving behind the coffee cabinet. That little red dot is more effective at saying "I must insist you stop it right now or something very bad is going to happen" than the throaty kuh-chuck of a pump-action shotgun advancing its shells into the breach. Thanks to the Fat Kid. posted by Ace at 02:38 PM Comments Ace, here's a better link, to a site in English. Complete with instructions on how to build your own. Hey pal, "America First." Thank the Digital Brownshirt if you're gonna thank anyone-- he's the one who sent it to me. Cheers, Dave at Garfield Ridge Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on August 8, 2005 02:44 PM ^ too cool Posted by: fat kid on August 8, 2005 02:46 PM Dave, Thanks, but I think the pictures pretty much tell the tale. Posted by: ace on August 8, 2005 02:49 PM Bah... you can't feel the laser on you. Unless you happen to be looking almost directly at it or are in a hazy room, you won't ever see even see the laser. Now, loading a pump action shot gun WILL get even the semi-intelligent's attention... Posted by: Krsitian on August 8, 2005 02:58 PM No biggie, just putting it out there. Like smallpox. Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on August 8, 2005 03:10 PM I dunno, my first reaction when seeing a laser sight on me would be standing on a ledge yelling, "You want my blood? Take my blood!" (might be slightly obscure) Posted by: Johnny Catbird on August 8, 2005 03:53 PM Do not take the shot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TAKE THAT SHOT! Posted by: Pompous on August 8, 2005 04:38 PM LOVE the Fletch reference! :) Posted by: Opinionated Vogon on August 8, 2005 04:41 PM Actually they are a lot easier to see than you'd think. Just ask my brother who got pelted in the wedding tackle by a paintball while shooting his laser-equiped paintball gun from the hip. Laser sights do exactly what Ace said. I was talking with the guys at Crimson Trace (who hide miniturized laser sights in the grips of your pistol!), and they were getting feedback from SWAT teams who loved their sights because they had to shoot people a lot less often. There's just something about that bright red dot in the middle of your chest that says, "Don't fucking move!" Posted by: Scot on August 8, 2005 06:36 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present. Forgotten 70s Mystery Click You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it! TJM explores the films of Peter Weir, director of Master and Commander TJM discusses the different adaptations of Dune NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium "The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD] TJM discusses Close Encounters of the Third Kind Portlandia: Would you like to double down on your meal? Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him Tucker Carlson Network @TCNetwork The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus. Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity. Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card. Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk Orban losing, but is it the end of Hungary? The Irish start a brawl, but is it enough, Pope Leo wades into politics, Trump calls Iran's bluff and blockades Hormuz, Artemis II! Swallwell is scum, and more! People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him. TJM definitively ranks the films of Alfred Hitchcock @KFILE 21m Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups." So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop. This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you. Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one. Artemis II Crew releases clearest images of the Far Side yet recorded Classic Rock Mystery Click This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area. Sarah Longwell spotting Tuq'r's makeover is 100! Alfred Hitchcock learns to talk with TJM Recent Comments RedMindBlueState[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "I cook mine at 225ish to an internal temperature o ..." Alberta Oil Peon: "So we got this one Kashi GO Protein Cereal, 10g Pr ..." Bob Ben Had: "I'm going to try putting some pork chops in the c ..." Pete Bog: "What is properly? Never done a reverse sear. Tryin ..." Miflin: "Nigh on decades ago, I was a short time laborer in ..." JackStraw: ">>What is properly? Never done a reverse sear. Try ..." tcn in AK: "I think the only way DH likes pork chops is if I s ..." CharlieBrown'sDildo: "[i]Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 26, 2026 06:48 ..." tcn in AK: "It will if done properly. Don’t shake em you ..." Bob Ben Had: "CBD, thank you for this thread. My cooking ability ..." CharlieBrown'sDildo: "It will if done properly. Don’t shake em you ..." DreddBolt: "We don't eat the offal because we don't have too ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 December 0000 Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64

Middle-Management McGuyvering: Take Care of That Pederast Hanorhan With Your Very Own Cubicle Crossbow!