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« Don't Blog, Damnit | Main | Secret History of the British Secret Service »
August 03, 2005

Why Didn't Anyone Think Of This Before? CBS Proudly Announces "Journalists-of-Talent" Program

Talent... now there's an idea. I wish I could bottle all the creativity and outside-the-box thinking at CBS and sell it! I'd make a freakin' fortune!

In related news:

Playboy Magazine announces "Playmates-of-Large-Breasts-and-Narrow-Waists-and-Long-Legs-and-Asses-Like-a-Colt-Stallion" Talent Development Program

NFL selects three candidates for "Big-Dudes-Who-Can-Hit-Real-Real-Hard" Outreach Program

New York City Crackwhores proudly unveil "Runaways-With-Daddy-Issues-and-Low-Self-Esteem-And-Don't-Really-Mind-Strange-Croatian-Men-Masturbating-Into-Your-Slippers" Qualified Candidate Plan

Ace of Spades creates "Please-Someone-In-Hollywood-Call-Me-I'm-Dyin'-Over-Here" Self-Promotion/Whining Initiative

Asses of Jack, they are.


posted by Ace at 07:23 PM
Comments



Strange-Croatian-Men-Masturbating-Into-Your-Slippers"

Now that's funny.

Posted by: Rick Moran on August 3, 2005 07:41 PM

Now see, I just feel lazy, 'cause you put a LOT more effort into this than I did... or CBS did, for that matter.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee on August 3, 2005 07:43 PM

I've gotten a sneak peek at the guest speakers list:

Dan Rather
Peter Arnett
Jayson Blair
Helen Thomas
MoDo

Posted by: on August 4, 2005 12:15 AM

Double super secret probationary guest speaker...
.
.
.
.
none other than Jeff Gannon!

Posted by: on August 4, 2005 12:16 AM

CBS News has chosen the first two participants for its "journalists-of-talent" training program, a program designed to develop a pool of highly qualified producers and correspondents

Is this some kind of a joke? Besides being pretty and having great teeth, what kind of "talent" does it take to mouth lines from a teleprompter or watch someone else do it and say, cut?

Posted by: 72 critics on August 4, 2005 10:26 AM

I've gotten a sneak peek at the guest speakers list:

You've omitted Stephan Glass of Vanity Fair, which, of course, was "The in-flight magazince of Air Force One" during the Clinton years.

Posted by: 72 Liars on August 4, 2005 10:36 AM

Rats! That's a MUCH better idea than my "People who Suck" campaign :(

Posted by: S. Weasel on August 4, 2005 11:26 AM

Actually they stole your idea, Weasel.

They just changed the name for leagal reasons

Posted by: HowardDevore on August 4, 2005 01:19 PM

If you follow the link lurking behind the asterisk on Confederate Yankee's story, you get a Drudge story that's a bit different than what CW wrote.

The CBS program is actually a "journalists-of-color training program". Methinks CW was pulling a spoof of the story.

It's worth a chuckle to read that one of the two winners in this "journalists-of-color training program" is James Black.

Posted by: Jimmie on August 4, 2005 02:28 PM
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