Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021

Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

TBD





















« Dean's Comments Too Deceptive Even For a Kosmonaut | Main | Recess Games »
August 01, 2005

How 'Bout Some Fries With That Sheik?

A blonde American deemed a "sheik" by Sunni Arabs.

Horn, 25, a native of Fort Walton Beach, Fla., acknowledges he had little interest in the region before coming here. But a local sheik friendly to U.S. forces, Dr. Mohammed Ismail Ahmed, explained the inner workings of rural Iraqi society on one of Horn's first Humvee patrols.

Horn says he was intrigued, and started making a point of stopping by all the villages, all but one dominated by Sunni Arabs, to talk to people about their life and security problems.

Moreover, he pressed for development projects in the area: he now boasts that he helped funnel $136,000 worth of aid into the area. Part of that paid for delivery of clean water to 30 villages during the broiling summer months.

"They saw that we were interested in them, instead of just taking care of the bases," Horn said.

Mohammed, Horn's mentor and known for his dry sense of humor, eventually suggested during a meeting of village leaders that Horn be named a sheik. The sheiks approved by voice vote, Horn said.

Some sheiks later gave him five sheep and a postage stamp of land, fulfilling some of the requirements for sheikdom. Others encouraged him to start looking for a second wife, which Horn's spouse back in Florida immediately vetoed.

But what may have originally started as a joke among crusty village elders has sprouted into something serious enough for 100 to 200 village leaders to meet with Horn each month to discuss security issues.

...

To Horn's commanders, his success justifies his unorthodox approach: no rockets have hit their base in the last half year.

"He has developed a great relationship with local leaders," said Lt. Col. Bradley Becker, who commands the 2nd Battalion, 8th Field Artillery Regiment. "They love him. They're not going to let anyone shoot at Sheik Horn."

He has even won occasional exemption from the military dress code — villagers provide a changing room where he can change from desert camouflage to robes upon arrival.

...

"I still refuse to kiss him," joked Becker, referring to the cheek-kissing greetings exchanged among sheiks. "He doesn't have any sheep — he can't be a sheik," said Becker, apparently unaware of the recent donation of the small flock.

Thanks to NickS.


posted by Ace at 03:16 PM
Comments



I would have loved to have heard the conversation with his wife about getting a second wife.

Posted by: Mark on August 1, 2005 03:40 PM

"But honey... it's for America. You like America, don't you?"

Posted by: ace on August 1, 2005 03:44 PM

I hope the gift of the sheep was not a result of his turning down the wife.

Tob

Posted by: Toby928 on August 1, 2005 03:51 PM

This guy could rake in millions doing spots for Sheik brand condoms. Millions. 'Cause, you know, he's a sheik.

Other than that, I got nothin'.

Posted by: Monty on August 1, 2005 03:59 PM

Is anybody else thinking Lawrence of Arabia?

Posted by: Chuck on August 1, 2005 04:05 PM

"Is anybody else thinking Lawrence of Arabia?"

Yeah, I am, but Horn of Iraq doesn't have the same ring to it.

Posted by: Retread on August 1, 2005 04:20 PM

Is anybody else thinking Lawrence of Arabia?

God I hope not. T.E. Lawrence failed.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 1, 2005 04:22 PM

At 5'6" -- he's a short sheik.

Posted by: on August 1, 2005 04:31 PM

Holy Crap!!! Retread must be a time traveler!

Posted by: BrewFan on August 1, 2005 04:35 PM

Never mind! I'm done for the day. The medication has obviously worn off.

Posted by: Emily "BrewFan" Littela on August 1, 2005 04:38 PM

This guy could rake in millions doing spots for Sheik brand condoms. Millions. 'Cause, you know, he's a sheik.

As long as they aren't lambskin condoms...

Posted by: cheshirecat on August 1, 2005 10:40 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk about insurrection in MN coming to NYC? Trump's Greenland rhetoric was over the top, the Gaza Peace Panel is anything but, Minnesota churchgoers need to step up, and is it possible that if the Persian people toss out the Mullahs they will begin a Muslim reformation?
Judge Bars LAPD's Use of Less-Lethal Foam Bullets on Protesters
Judicial Overreach example #62,904. What law was broken? [CBD]
Long-time Coblogger and commenter "Niedermeyer's Dead Horse" is having significant health issues, and would appreciate the thoughts and prayers of The Horde. If you wish to reach out, use @NiedsG on X/Twitter. [CBD]
Disclose.tv
@disclosetv

30m

JUST IN - DOJ investigating Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey for conspiracy to impede immigration agents -- CBS
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton chat about the end game in Iran, what to do about the Fed, its supposed "independence," and its hyper-politicized chairman, the housing crunch, and Trump's harebrained suggestion to decrease credit card interest!
Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, and an always interesting observer of the human and political condition, has died. RIP.
[CBD]
Tousi TV: France closes embassy in Tehran, US Department of State advises all US citizens to get out of Iran
He's been saying that Tuesday will be a decisive day. Other reports say that Trump is in the last stages of planning an action against the mullahs. (And other reports say that Tucker Carlson Simp JD Vance is attempting to get Trump to agree to "negotiations" with Iran -- for fucking what? What do we get out of saving the fucking mullahs and letting them kill and torture their own people? Apart from Tucker Carlson getting to pretend he's a Big Man Influencer and that he's worth all the Qatari money he's receiving.)
Asmongold predicted that AWFLs would turn on immigration the moment we started importing hot women into the country, and he was right
via garrett
New video shows ICE agent being rammed and dragged while clinging to the car's hood; communist filth continue claiming he wasn't hit at all
Venezuelans who fled Maduro's tyranny just discovered that they can send him mail in prison and that the US will deliver it to him
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Venezuela...nation-building or our interests? Minnesota insurrection heats up, be careful what you wish for Democrats, dive bars, and more!
More bad news for Nicholas Maduro as old blackface photos resurface
Ay yi yi, the week this guy is having!
Cynics will say this is AI
Did Everpeak and Hilton lie? Nick Sorter thinks they did, and has video evidence! [CBD]
Recent Comments
BarelyScaryMary : "Good. And I pray they are set for heating and wate ..."

DJ Jazzy Mel: "Bill Paxton was real good in True Lies. ..."

Just Some Guy: "And outta here. Thanks for the thread,TJM. Hav ..."

Just Some Guy: "Actors getting better with age -- I mentioned t ..."

Crusader: "Tombstone features a fat Billy Bob Thornton. ---- ..."

publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb): " *Proceeding* not preceding.... sheesh. ..."

davidt: "Dana Delaney. ..."

publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb): " So far, the "future radar" thingy a local stat ..."

gp: "203 Concur! ..."

Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly: "Tombstone features a fat Billy Bob Thornton. ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _: "Fookin Rooskies will show the full movie. EueToob ..."

BifBewalski- [/s] [/u] [/b] [/i]: " Thank you for the movie thread, TJM. ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives