We love you, man. You're the best. Please don't ever leave us Ace. I don't know how we could go on.

I sympathize, Ace. I think it's just that we haven't heard much from Michael Moore lately, and Dan Rather's team is no longer inventing evidence. It's kinda hard to get all in a froth over the latest Democrat to talk about "mainstream" judges.

But hang in there, somebody's bound to do or say something galactically stupid sooner or later.

ace, people are always saying nice things about you. I mean, in between the insults. Hell, half the guys here have offered to have sex with you. What more could you want?

You say you are apologizing for your writing not being up to your standards, but we all like it. Are you not insulting us? Bastard.

ps. You don't post much on weekends. So what's to click? You should be out and about weekends, anyway. I hate the idea of you not having a personal life. I still think you need more sex, but definitely not with any of the guys here.

Traffic here actually goes down on weekends? Well, color me surprised.

Anyhow, I always figured that Ace spent his weekend nights thinking up posts (i.e. reading Garfield Ridge), but forcing himself to wait until monday (or at least daytime) so as to give the impression that he has a wild and crazy social life. It must be torture.

(Hey, he said he doesn't take compliments well...)

hah! You'd be surprised. There are times when I could post at night or on a weekend, but I don't, for much the reasons you suggest.

I don't mind people thinking I'm an unemployed shut-in, but damnit, I don't want them to think I'm not steppin' out on the town nights and weekends.

But as for reading Dave From Garfield Ridge:

Who?

Suck it up and take the compliments like a man, Ace. (I'm the same way) We know you weren't fishing, but you need to really know what we think of the place. If you don't read it every so often you won't have the full measure of how we value the site.

Oh Gawwwd...you're not crying are you?

I can see it now...beachfront condo, St. Croix...pina colada in hand...threatening to pull the plug over high bandwidth costs ; )

"Just a general cri de couer (that's French for "whining like a little bitch")"

We're all laughing!

"I don't do personal stuff much"

Now we're really laughing!

Oops, I think you made me throw up a little.

Oh no -- THE "R" WORD!

Careful, remember what happened last time.

So if this blog sucks then why do I check it more than any other? Is this just a hidden dig at me?

Oh, admit it Ace.

You need a hug.

You should take a six pack of beer, set aside some quiet time, and watch "Heartbreak Ridge' starring Clint Eastwood without interruption, except for maybe a piss break just before the fourth time Clint says that he doesn't want to shower with a guy.

Heartbreak Ridge - that'll cure what ails you.

Well, here's something nice I don't have to say about you, ace: You're not a bitter, misogynistic, asshole. So, thanks, ace. You can't realize how much I appreciate it.

Hit the tip jar, folks -- that's the way to show Ace you care.

Yeah, I know this blog is in the crapper right now, but it's been in the crapper before and hopefully it will come out of the crapper soon.

Got it. I have a feeling it will.

You Viking you.

Hit the tip jar, folks -- that's the way to show Ace you care.

No, don't do that! Sure, it starts out innocently enough - a dollar here, a twenty there.

Next thing you know, Ace will be hyperventilating about torture at Gitmo and raising money for long trips to Provincetown.

The love of blog-money is the root of all insanity.

You say you don't want nice things said about you, but we want to.

I think you're swell . If I had a sister I'd let you date her unless she was ugly because then I'd want you to date someone hotter.

Also, you have the coolest hair.

Well, ok we've never met, so I don't really know that for sure, but I just bet you have super cool hair that looks good even if you don't comb it.

You could use my comb if you wanted to. I wouldn't mind.

Yup, that Ace...

I remember back in the dark days of '04, when things were getting ticklish. It looked back for the Gannster.

But, by God, when the bullets were flyin' left and right, and there wasn't any backup to be found anywhere, I remember looking down, and seeing Ace's sweaty back in front of me, workin' it like there was no tomorrow coming.

Keep yer chin up, kid. And pass me a Whippit, would ya?

Ya want galactically stoo-pud? Here ya go!

Where's he been lately?

I've been preparing for a life infinitely more rewarding than yours, BUDDY.

Actually, I've been reading regularly as always. I just have the good sense to shut up when I have nothing of import to say. Unlike a certain blogger I know.

Oh, and by the way, it's cri-de-coeur, punk. Gotta have the hyphens.