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June 30, 2005
Thanks For SharingAMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch woman who swears by a daily helping of herring for a healthy life celebrated her 115th birthday on Wednesday as the oldest living person on record. For unknown reasons, the unbiased reporter fails to mention she celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary the same year the Tuskegee Experiment was begun, and finally achieved her lifelong dream of para-sailing the year Richard Nixon began his illegal bombing campaign of Cambodia. And also-- throughout her long life, America has just totally sucked dick, and not in a "good way" either.
posted by Ace at 02:05 PM
CommentsYeah, a better citation would have been,"She was born the same year Oscar Wilde published The Picture of Dorian Gray." Or perhaps closer to home, "She was born in 1890, the same year that Vincent Van Gogh died." The Wounded Knee reference was completely out of left field (pun intended). Posted by: vonKreedon on June 30, 2005 02:12 PM
Ace, 1890? Here: 1890 Congress establishes the Oklahoma Territory on unoccupied lands in the Indian Territory, breaking a 60-year-old pledge to preserve this area exclusively for Native Americans forced from their lands in the east. From PBS, New Perspectives on the West. Posted by: MeTooThen on June 30, 2005 02:18 PM
The important question is whether she is the one where the saying that 'it' smells like fish originated. Posted by: Dman on June 30, 2005 02:26 PM
Did you know that Bismark resigned as Chancellor of Germany in 1890, also he loved herring? There is a type a herring named after him. Posted by: scootran on June 30, 2005 02:51 PM
Too bad she didn't live long enough to see us blow up the world - or better yet, Amsterdam. Posted by: on June 30, 2005 03:05 PM
Actually, Anna Torbenson is older and swears by her daily helping of Lutefisk. Posted by: 72 Lutefisks on June 30, 2005 04:04 PM
And let's not forget that just weeks after her 60th birthday, the Rosenbergs were arrested. Boo! Hiss! Posted by: Sean M. on June 30, 2005 07:43 PM
Now, now. While I did have a good laugh at the "thanks for sharing" line, I don't necessarily think there's anything sinister going on here. The reporter probably just looked up 1890 in an almanac and found the first semi-well-known event that they thought would impress upon people how long ago that was. The U.S. military battling Sioux Indians? I think that fits the bill for emphasizing how she was born in another era. And they even used the word "Indians"... Posted by: Bob on June 30, 2005 10:13 PM
The U.S. military battling Sioux Indians? I think that fits the bill for emphasizing how she was born in another era. Granted, but the reporter also could've used any other kind of measuring stick, like some of the many famous people she's outlasted who were born in the same year. Some notables include: Ho Chi Minh, Agatha Christie, Groucho Marx, Charles de Gaulle, and Dwight Eisenhower. Posted by: Sean M. on June 30, 2005 10:55 PM
methinks it's a red herring... Posted by: Claire on June 30, 2005 11:50 PM
You know, if I ever make it to 100 years old or something and I get that "OMG shes so old" interview, I will direct the reporter to NOT say something like "she was born in 1963, the same year President John F. Kennedy was assassinated." Because see, my life had fuck-all to do with Kennedy, just as that woman's life had fuckall to do with dead natives of another country not her own. Posted by: Andrea Harris on July 1, 2005 08:40 PM
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Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
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