Four words: No hairy man-ass.

Wow that was a quick response! Welcome back!

I'm confused. Who wrote this piece? If it's ace: you were in the ladies dressing room, you pervert! If it's Zelda: comb-over should have a hyphen or be two words, otherwise people envision cows!

That whole girl-on-girl never did a thing for me.

That is until I saw that Gilligan's Island cut. THAT was HOT! (sorry)

Other than that one bit, it's null program.

Balding, but no combover. "To thine own self be true"

I wrote this post. Call me ignorant, but what do combovers have to do with cows?

Explaining why the whole girl/girl thing is hot is kind of like explaining why rainbows are pretty or why Paul Anka kicks so much ass....it's just. The way. It. Is.

combovers = bovines. Okay, maybe it's just me.

Oh, yeah, I don't like to look at naked women, either. This whole lesbian fantasy thing guys imagine all women have, just kills me.

Why do cows have to be combed anyway? It's not like I have any real life experience with cows, which is why I'm asking.

I feel like I just took a Rorshach test.

Ok, combovers, pathetic. The only correct response is "pathetic".

People who want to be naked who should not be? Rude. Really, just rude.

Lesbians, wrestling, pudding? What the hell could I say here that wouldn't get me into some kind of trouble. I respectfully abstain.

I guess *that's* why Mr. C. wanted to invite me to that lesbian pudding wrestling match. He probably must have thought I'd get all hot and bothered watching two women go at it and then throw myself at him.

I should have learned from Howard Stern: Lesbians equal ratings. Or, here, comments.

Friday will be all lesbian news day. Everything is going to have some sort of Sapphic angle.

Dave in Texas, may I remind you that modesty is a spiritual quality and is one of the things that distinguishes us from animals.

Explaining why the whole girl/girl thing is hot is kind of like explaining why rainbows are pretty or why Paul Anka kicks so much ass....it's just. The way. It. Is.

Not. Quite. I heard it explained that some men feel threatened by seeing men and women together. A naked and sexually arroused male brings out the little gay guy (as ace calls it) inside you.

The worst gathering of nude people who shouldn't be nuded in public that I've ever seen was Bekeley's annual "Breast Freedom Parade."

[shudder]

Now that, June 14, truly makes sense. I also read in a magazine and heard from a shrink that when young men engage in gang rape, it's a way for them, aside from brutalizing women, to act out their latent homosexual desires, without actually engaging in the act with other men.

Watching girl on girl is better than guy on girl because there are TWO girls.

Duh.

I had a gender confused client who tried to force his way into a woman's dressing room, at SF State, yelling, "I am a lesbian!" Not only did he get arrested, he was beat up by some dyke.

I heard it explained that some men feel threatened by seeing men and women together. A naked and sexually arroused male brings out the little gay guy (as ace calls it) inside you.

Eh...Just because one enjoys seeing two women together doen't mean that one is "threatened" by seeing men and women together.

Watching girl on girl is better than guy on girl because there are TWO girls.

All the little inner gay guys say that -- they're lying!

[me and Zelda have this psych thing sewn up. ]

Right on June 14!

Eh...Just because one enjoys seeing two women together doen't mean that one is "threatened" by seeing men and women together.

You only enjoy it because you are a cheap bastard.

You only enjoy it because you are a cheap bastard.

What does that have to do with liking two girls at once?

planetmoron has it. More = Better.

At UMaine, every year on Earth Day, a group of girls would take off their clothes, paint themselves green and ride bikes around campus.

I saw this display at least twice and let's just say all of the girls involved were of the 'shouldn't get naked in public' variety.

Tim, I would be more convinced if your little inner gay guy was peeking out and waiving at me.

Ach. I'm a lousy typist. Make that:

Tim, I would be more convinced if your little inner gay guy wasn't peeking out and waiving at me.

Mr. Lung, my drivers ed teacher from high school, had a Trump-esque-comb-over. There was something very unnatural about a part that begins one inch above an ear. Worse were the windy mornings where that flap of hair would lift up and wave in the breeze.

As a lesbian who went to UCSC. I saw much hippie female (and some male) nudity that made me impotent for a week. While I applaud the beauty of being comfortable with oneself I also believe others have the right not to be forced to endure another's bloated self confidence.

As for you those who enjoy watching two girls... I couldn't agree more, it's "Double Sexy"... I should know.

RE: lesbians, there's always the old Paul Reiser answer:
"Because a guy can agree with both of them."

As for my dime store philosphy-- a guy/girl scene is inevitably about getting the guy in the scene off. The girl/girl scene is about getting the girls off. You're guaranteed a big female O (or at least a reasonably fooling fascimile of a big female O), which is always a welcome reward for an interested male.

A good lesbian scene is a lot like a good auto repair manual. "Oh, that's how I do that. And what's with that move there? Hmmm. It seems to work, she's calling out the name of our Lord-- I must try that one at home."

Oh, and chicks are hot.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Dave at Garfield Ridge? Oh, yeah. Definitely gay.

Hey, Flag Day?

As a French horn.

Watching guy/girl porn is, for the most part, just boring. There's nothing threatening about it.

Like Dave said, however, the girl/girl thing fits more in a category of "intrigue". It's just plain facinating to watch.

And not only is it not gay, it's less gay because there are more women.

My little inner gay guy would respond but Yentl is on.

All I've gotta say is that it's VERY important to pay attention to who has written the post. It took me until the last paragraph to realize this wasn't Ace. I just figured he'd finally come out of the closet.

My little inner gay guy would respond but Yentl is on.

lol! :-)

Here's how my grandfather finally lost his combover:

He had taken my young cousin to the park or something, and his combover flap had come undone. Not noticing this, he put his baseball over it, so the long hair was now hanging out of the back of the hat.

He then overheard my cousin pointing him out to one of the other kids he was playing with. "That's my grandfather over there", my cousin said, pointing. "The one with the ponytail?" the kid responded.

Years of subtle and not-so-subtle hints that it didn't look good had no effect, but that did it, as my grandfather was of the generation that thought men should not have long hair, especially in ponytails. The next time he went in for a haircut he came back with nice short hair all the way around his bald spot. There was much rejoicing.

OT --

The favorite rutabaga of the Religious Right's autopsy results will be out at 11 AM. No doubt we will learn the truth of the Schindlers claims of her having dozens of fractures all over her "tortured" body and the likelihood that she regularly talked, prayed and joked with the Schindlers and other RTL fanatics out of sight and hearing of her caregivers...

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/...x? storyid=14883

Meanwhile, over 10,000 veggies had their watering systems turned off in the last 2 months and died as placidly as a housplant not watered for 2 weeks....with nary a peep from the Theocrat in Chief, Delay, Santorum, and the whole circus of RTL fanatics.

Related to the comb over.............. Terri? No. Not that she cared. Bobby? No. Randall Terry? No. Michael Schiavo? No. Blessed Mary of Schindler? No. Robert Schindler? Yep. A bad one.

Only Cedarford could ruin the joy of explaining why lesbian sex is hot by butting in with a Schiavo comment. Thanks, killjoy.

On the other hand, kudos for not mentioning Jews or devious oriental banking schemes. That's some great restraint!

Yeah Sean, Cedarford is an ass that way.

Look at the bright side. If you ever find yourself in one of those embarassing, ahem, situations, now you know all you have to do is think cedarfordcedarfordcedarford. It works like a charm.

That reminds me, I gotta book that flight to Shanghai.

Girl-girl is better than guy-girl because you see two girls instead of one guy and one girl. Likewise, girl-girl-girl is better than girl-girl because you see three girls instead of two girls. Ad infinitum. Well, almost ad infinitum. There's probably too many girls when when you have to squint or put on your reading glasses to tell the bodies apart.

Ace,

Can you ban Cedarford? Please? Tell us what it will cost crazy-blog-money-wise and I will personally coordinate a fund raising drive. The above comment, if previous comments haven't, should convince you that he/she/it has no redeeming social value. Thank you for your consideration of this idea.

Sincerely,
BrewFan

I second Brewfan.

As far as nudity goes, I think the older one gets the more one doesn't seem to care. I'm sure any male who has ever been to a gym can attest to the "naked old man in the lockeroom" scenario. It seems they are everywhere.

As far as porn goes, it's all about the variety. Lesbian porn is a nice way to spice things up with more to look at. Males are visual and easy to please like that. More = better

There are two main reasons why guys like lesbian scenes (or, really, faux lesbian scenes--it is not like guys like to see two Rosie-looking softball players going at it).

1. Some guys' sense of jealousy is so pronounced that they don't even want to see another guy in the scene. Guys watch pR0n because they aren't having sex with a woman. Watching a guy with a woman is just rubbing it in: here is some guy who's got what you can't have. That makes the guy mad; anger gets in the way of stimulation. I think the "little gay man" argument is less convincing than this one, esp. from the guys I have asked this question.

2. Men to a large degree have in the back of their minds that women still don't really like sex. They know the adage that men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love. They think that women who have sex with them aren't doing it for the sex but bc of some ulterior motive: love, money, power, etc. But lesbian scenes remove this context entirely. Here are two women who want sex so badly that they will jump on each other even with no men around to instigate it. That removes the doubt about the ulterior motive, which allows the scene to be hot without guilt.

As a lesbian who went to UCSC. I saw much hippie female (and some male) nudity that made me impotent for a week. I didn't know women could become impotent. How does a lesbian become impotent? Does your strap-on lose its rigidity or something?

My wife told me of a survey she read that indicated a large majority of men would rather become impotent than lose their hair. I don't know what demographic these idiots are representing, probably those French 'men' from the earlier post. What's the point of having a good head of hair if you can't get laid?

As for girl on girl action, if they're really into it, it can be HOT. Women are soft, curvy, and delicious. When there's two, they're good looking, and going to town on each other, I can dig it. But Rosie doin' 69 with Ellen, no puking thank you.

Don't care much one way or the other about public nudity. But if you're like in your 80's, please don't bend over and lay out your beach towel if I happen to already be relaxing right behind you. Yikes!

The whole straight guy/lesbian thing is a little mysterious to me. I'm a perfectly typical staight guy on this issue--it turns me on--but it still doesn't make any sense. Probably 90 percent of guys enjoy seeing two women get it on, while less than 10 percent of women would enjoy seeing two men go after each other. It's one of the mysteries of the universe.

A little story about public nudity. I have a friend (a lesbian, incidentally) who was taken to a nude beach by some friends she was visiting in California. "I guess being naked in public shows how secure you are about your body," she told me. "Considering how most of them looked, seeing their bodies made me feel a lot more secure about mine."

Cedarford, you have commited the worst sin I can think of. You're boring. Really, really boring.

There are two main reasons why guys like lesbian scenes (or, really, FAUX lesbian scenes--it is not like guys like to see two Rosie-looking softball players going at it). (Emphasis added)

The faux thing really hits said nail on the head. Digging lesbian scenes plays into men's fantasies, but when men are confronted with RL lesbians -- and by that, I mean they have NO chance or desire to have a sexual experience with the chick/s themselves -- it tends to be a bit of a turn-off.

The reasons already given above pretty much explains the fascination, but there's another one that arminius sort of hit on. Men like to believe (although they know it isn't true) that women are in a constant full state of horniness and are ready to have sex at any given moment, with any given partner, and with any given implement. Porn films, which are made for a male audience, are chock full of women who'd rather screw than do anything else -- ever! -- and so the sex of their partner/s just isn't really an issue as long as they can get satisfied. Guys really really like it when 2 or more women are so excited they're ready to jump on each other.

WhatEVER, gents. :)

OTOH, women don't understand men's attraction to this because we know these scenes are just so dumb and ridiculously fake we can't disengage THAT much from reality to enjoy them. It also doesn't help that it's just plain nasty from our point of view, too.

Later,
bbeck

OH, I forgot about the public nudity thing...

I would not classify being nekkid in a locker room as "public" nudity. Good-looking or not, there WILL be naked people in a locker room; that's what they're FOR. I don't figure other chicks are checking me out when I'M changing or walking to the sauna, whirlpool, shower, etc. sans clothing. I know I don't look at other women when I'm in there, and since I belong to a gym at a hospital where 90% of its members are over 60, I imagine I could have a few nightmares if I did...and you know, they pay the same price I do for access to the locker room, so if I don't want to see anything even accidentally then I just shouldn't use the locker room.

Nudity on the streets, however, shouldn't be practiced, period...not just because it's indecent, but because there ARE different opinions as to what looks GOOD. I know I'd get violently ill if I saw some of today's starlets walking around bare because I think they look sickly and anorexic...BUT I'm sure most of the guys on this board would be LOVIN' it. Conversely, I'd pay a lot to be on the street with a naked Mel Gibson while a lot of guys wouldn't (provided they didn't listen to their Inner Gay Guy). And even though Sean Connery is probably pretty gross nowadays, I'd rather see HIM in the buff than someone like Josh Hartnett or Colin Farrell. G-a-g. Those boys are gross when fully clothed.

Point being, the whole beauty-eye-beholder saying comes into play here, and what one person finds attractive another one doesn't...which is partly why some ugly women bare themselves; they think that someone, somewhere out there will truly like what they have to offer.

Later,
bbeck

why do some less than attractive women insist on baring all in public?

Because they know they're not attractive they feel that the only avenue open to them to get love is to flaunt their sexuality and advertise that they're easy. They also take on the "hot chick" role for the same reason. Another way to compensate is stated in that old blues song: "I ain't good lookin' baby, but I'm someone sweet and kind."

actually bbeck there is a lot of lesbian-centric porn out there designed for women, or guys who like seeing real lesbians go at it, or women who really dig it.

for the most part they're not ugly like Rosie (yechhh) but they are more "real", like amateur porn, and pretty popular for that reason because everyone is into it unlike in porn made just for guys. thats all LezLoveVideo.com sells, you'll see what i mean.

lg

Beck, we know from adolesence that women are not walking around in that state. This knowledge pervades virtually every waking hour of our lives.

There's no way any remotely rational man could convince himself otherwise for even long enough to squeeze one out to a Slurpee movie.

We wish we could imagine women as such wanton creatures--it would probably bolster our confidence in the clutch--but we so know it ain't so that we never get past it for even a moment.

actually bbeck there is a lot of lesbian-centric porn out there designed for women, or guys who like seeing real lesbians go at it, or women who really dig it.

Porn is not reality. Furthermore, my quote was "... and by that, I mean they have NO chance or desire to have a sexual experience with the chick/s themselves..." and WATCHING them is having a sexual experience with them.

We wish we could imagine women as such wanton creatures--it would probably bolster our confidence in the clutch--but we so know it ain't so that we never get past it for even a moment.

LOL. Poor Sponge. Maybe YOU can't, but some guys are more capable of suspending belief. I have NEVER seen a porn flick where a chick needed any amount of seduction beyond, "Hello there..." and 90 percent of the time they don't even need that. If the only reason behind that was so the actors could get to humping, then why even have THAT much? They have this dialogue like, "Oh, BJs are my FAVORITE!" or "I really really wish I could have a big fat one stuck in me right now," and I certainly hope we all know women don't sit around talking like that, so it has to be said for some reason.

Later,
bbeck

What?! WHAT?!! Women don't sit around thinking about bj's and fat ones?!! The majority thinks girl on girl is nasty?!

Geez! Next I suppose you're going to tell us that girls aren't really into the whole double penetration thing either.

(You are cracking me up bbeck : )

Hmmm. Well, far be it from me to question someone who's made such a study of dialogue. Maybe you're right about these delusional fellows. Hard for me to picture it myself, but then, I suppose a woman like you gets hit on by some guys who have no chance in hell, so you might know a little more about these dreamers than me.

I probably do better with chicks than these guys because I am honest with myself about what motivates women. Why stand there stammering out some pathetic excuse for flattery when you can just let Andrew Jackson do the talking?

lol! Do they take the Jacksons from you without their hands sponge?

Compos, I KNOW I'm treading on some illusions -- or should I say delusions? -- here. I'm sorry, maybe this will help...

We ALL really really want it. From YOU, especially.

Better? :)

And Sponge, I do realize that women pay more attention to dialogue than men do. Women get going more over the seduction portion/foreplay than the act itself, which is why I know porn is designed for MEN.

And not Andrew Jacksons, thank you very much. Franklins, baby, Franklins.

Later,
bbeck

Actually, I know how to motivate women to do naughty things with me without using cash. The best women are motivated by gratitude.

This is my advice to all you "tongue-tied" weed-wads trying to get some half-decent not overwhelmingly obese woman to grant you a sexual favor: Ask them after you peel them down from the ceiling.

I guess I am one of those guys that gets nothing out of just girl /girl. Now when its girl / girl / me, thats a different story.

Reminds me of a good looking starlet on the late,late show with Craig Kilborn. They were talking about whether she had ever been in a threesome and she replied yes. She was with two other guys in her early life. He looked at her and said sorry but a threesome is 2 girls and a guy, what you had was a gang bang.

Actually, I know how to motivate women to do naughty things with me without using cash. The best women are motivated by gratitude.

Uhh ... gratitude? I always thought the motivation of a hot twat was the best. But then, being exceptionally good looking all my life, they were always already hot for me (just ask all the girls in the Niagara area) so to you dweebs out there, perhaps bribery or even gratitude.

RE: compos mentis comment
"As a lesbian who went to UCSC. I saw much hippie female (and some male) nudity that made me impotent for a week. I didn't know women could become impotent. How does a lesbian become impotent? Does your strap-on lose its rigidity or something?"

come on man its a funny...you know as in "gender-fuck"
puhlease.

spongeworthy

Gratitude eh? For what? You have to be more specific than that. After all, I'm going crusing in the Niagra are soon.

Whaddya mean "gratitude for what?" What's the matter with you guys? Are you "tongue-tied"?

I wish I never broguht it up now. Some guys are beyond help.

Yep, there's something to be said for gratitude....make us happy and we want to make you even more happy.

I don't know about you guys, but I am always grateful to get laid.

Every damn time.

More happy? Just as long as you give me about 20 minutes between happiness.

20 minutes ain't bad.

Maybe that's why Muslims hate and fear women--they know they can't keep up with them. :)

Speaking of combovers, if people knew that most of their dance music was made by a 47 year old, 300 lb gay guy sitting on his couch in his underwear, with a hairy back, green sparkly toenails and a really bad combover, the visual would stop them from buying a dance tune ever again!

PS - The singer looks like Rosie O'donell!

PPS - Our gay guy hasn't had a manwhich in over ten years!

spongeworthy

As I wrote, some of us don't need "gratitude" we drive women wild with desire the same way they do with us: by being so exceptionally good looking that they can't help themselves. Apparently you're not, so you have be nice instead.

spongeworthy

I guess you drive all the women in the Niagra are wild with gratitude?

PS - I've long wondered what spongeworthy means.

The 1% of women who like mustaches are called Fag-Hags. but Good Lord, what are the 1% of women who like combovers look like?

A colleague reports that his 13-year old son told his mother that he preferred the "lesbian" photos he found on the internet because there wasn't a guy getting in the way...