Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Gratuitous Retreadus Maximus [John from WuzzaDem] | Main | Batman Goodness [Jen @ Demure Thoughts] »
June 10, 2005

Why does this not surprise me? [Jen @ Demure Thoughts]

Ok, I am going on vacation next week with the WHOLE family to an undisclosed location in the florida panhandle. The first vacation in I do not know how long and the long standing rule of the universe is coming to pass. What rule you ask? The rule of: If Jennifer plans a trip to the beach it will cause a tropical storm and/or a flooding rain of biblical proportions.

According to the weather channel there is a "freak" early season tropical storm moving into the gulf. They say it is going to hit Loseyournanner and Florida's panhandle on Saturday. Well that is just fine, I am not leaving until the weekend, but what are the chances the rain will all be gone by then? Eh? ZERO!

I Will come back from Florida as white as I arrived. We will spend the week playing Canasta and Ziggity listening to my daughters (all 4 of them) whining, "When is it going to stop rainingggggg... We want to go swiiiiiimmmming." I will be hitting the tequila bottle strait by day three and will be looking for a local pharmacy and a bottle of Xanax by day 5.

Everyone, I would like a concerted effort to pray the rain leaves and that I get to see the sun and sand without fear of rip tides and seaweed covered white sandy beaches at least two days of my trip. The day I arrive exhausted from the drive DOES NOT COUNT!


posted by Ace at 11:45 AM
Comments



Fret not, Jen. The rainiest parts of the storm are leading out in front, so it should pass through by Sunday. On top of this, you have me working in your favor as I'm going home to Loozerana tomorrow and therefore will act as a lure for the tropical storm. It will follow me, leaving you to fry to a crisp in on the sugar-white sands of the Redneck Riviera. Enjoy!

Posted by: ken on June 10, 2005 12:34 PM

bless your pointed little head, ken! Go fast! Go now! :) I feel much better now!

Posted by: jennifer on June 10, 2005 12:50 PM

The prob here is not really the rain per se, but the cottonmouths and copperheads it flushes out of the woods, and then during the dry-out you grow a crop of mosquitoes that are so large they hafta put FAA tail numbers on them. ENJOY!
(This, BTW, is the same litany I provide to my cousins in Calif. whenever they talk about moving away from earthquake country. Having them a thousand miles away suits me just fine.)

Posted by: ed in texas on June 10, 2005 05:06 PM

I am in texas, too. Southeast at the moment. Visiting family. This is where I grew up. Mosquito central.

Posted by: Jennifer on June 10, 2005 05:13 PM

http://casino.eastgranbylibrary.org/312752/ grumbleinterestpleaseohplease

Posted by: conserved on September 12, 2005 05:53 PM

http://persadel.descom.es/pads/weinster.html fistheaterstiniest

Posted by: recognizing on September 23, 2005 04:04 PM

http://www.interactivedreams.com/wwwboard/messages/12347.html bagsdignityxeroxed

Posted by: engulf on September 25, 2005 05:01 PM

http://zoofilia.zoobeasti.com/uplumzj/ animalpornpics

Posted by: gay anal bestiality on October 14, 2005 08:55 AM

http://www.renoaquatic.org/wwwboard/messages/542.html botherfrigidstraddle

Posted by: outer on October 18, 2005 09:36 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD are joined by Jeff Carter, candidate for NV treasurer, and seasoned finance professional, for a discussion of the issues facing Nevadans, and the larger financial challenges in America.
Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust.
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Recent Comments
JQ: "Not starting out well, turned coffee off before it ..."

four seasons: " Dang ..."

Simp for the Machine[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]175 Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Unle ..."

four seasons: " Skip, I hope your day gets better. ..."

Skip: "Not starting out well, turned coffee off before it ..."

JQ: "Not paying in for 30 years, duh... she got the pol ..."

JQ: "A friend from work, bought "long-term care" policy ..."

four seasons: " Jim, One of husband's brothers bought some ty ..."

JQ: "That's great, jim. We saved what we could. Not ..."

jim (in Kalifornia): "508 It costs a small fortune for those places and ..."

jim (in Kalifornia): "506 JQ, It costs a small fortune for those pla ..."

four seasons: " Yep ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives