LOL ! I love it, excellent snark!

We appreciate the plug!

I love watching chicks blog together. I hope they post pics.

Perfect! "Earth" ... gotta love it... so if Beth is the annoying friend who won't let her drunk friend go home with you...then I wonder, is Janette or am I the drunk friend? I say, since Janette has regular "steak and vodka" dinners at her house, she can take that honor... ;)

Classic baiting. Just classic.

Yeah, ace is hoping he can bait one of them into coming over to his place and wrestling him.

::sigh:: How drunk was I this time that I was trying to go home with Ace? See, I don't even remember these things.

Thank God for friends like Beth because I'm sure not giving up steak and vodka night.

Serriously, I loove you guys!

Or at least let him be DM for once...

Paige Davis is most definitely *all that*. Dirty little minx. But, Genevieve is so hot that I am rendered speechless when I see her. Those two were the only reason for straight males to watch.

I'm looking forward to: A deeper socio-economic analysis of the Red and Blue American political scene just isn't possible if that Stephanie bitch from Accounts Payable is in the room and if she doesn't stop giving me that look you know the one I'm talking about I am going to kick her flabby ass into the middle of next week.

Didn't Paige "Sugar Wouldn't Melt In My Mouth" have some sort of sex tape scandal or something?

Or am I misremembering?

I liked Alex better. But Genevieve is da bomb.

Ace: you're not married, right? And you watch Trading Spaces? hmmmm...interesting. You sure it's not Doug that's da bomb?

* When My Husband Falls Asleep I'm Going to Re-Paint the Dresser With Sage Milk-Paint, Even Though He Forbade It, and Then Blame It on a Home Invasion by a Maruading Band of Interior-Decorating Dominican Gangbangers

Pure genius. I've never heard of sage milk-paint, but I have a good idea what it looks like.

Think I'll stalk on over and see what all the chirping is about.

Tinkerbelle,

Nah, I don't like Doug.

But Ty...

Or as I call him, "Sigh."

Yawn.

Ace: it may have been a hoax.

Master of None: agree. I love to watch chicks blog too... wait, you aren't using that as a euphemism, are you? Never mind.

I'm reminded of a Seinfeld episode:

Kramer: Cat fight?

Elaine: Ok, why? Why do guys do this? What is so appealing to men about a cat fight?

Kramer: Yeye cat fight!

Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there's a chance they might somehow kiss.

Someone should really start a catfight flame war on that blog.

Slublog,

When there are "sweeps" for blogs, then they'll do it.

They always do.

Slub:

We'll sic bbeck on them. Hair-pulling! Blouse-ripping!

*Drool*

You sir, have done well with that list.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Sorry, two posts above was me, not Slub. Don't know how that happened. Just getting started on the Jack.

HA! We've catfight-proofed it already; we didn't invite any assholes. ;-)

By the way, I AM the drunk friend.

So Michael, you're not only an old guy in a cape, you're an old DRUNK guy in a cape?

So sad....

Wait, we MIGHT get a catfight going when someone says "hey, why didn't you ask me?", if I have to say "because you're an asshole." Or something. heeheee

Hey, cute tops you're selling, Ace.

LD:

Make that an old drunk guy in a cape with a foot fetish. Looong, arched, free-range feet.

*Slobber*

OK Michael, you have confirmed it--you ARE drunk!!

Sober up man, Smallfoot is creeping up behind you with a rolling pin in her hand...

Personally, I'm certain the cat fight is coming! I'm thinking about offering odds on who it'll be between.

Only women can call shirts "tops." If any of your male friends ever says "Hey, I have to go home to change into a different 'top,'" keep your eye on him.

Unless he's British. British guys say 'tops' or 'jumper'.

"Top"....LOL I have never really thought of that before and now that you mention it I have NEVER heard a man call a top a "top". LOL Funny.

For a man who calls a shirt a "top" go to http://www.vinceautmorire.typepad.com

MUHAHAHAHHAHA

British guys say "jumper?"

Ack.

Jumper? I hardly know'er!

Hey Merri, that's some loose shit there.

whash?

Oh, geeeeeeze....

Now Let This Go Or I Will Stab You In Your Sleep With Pinking Shears.

Sheesh, you can't stab ANYONE with freakin' pinking shears, Ace! The tips on them are blunted. Good GRIEF, leave it to a MAN to make THAT mistake. Any self-respecting woman would use a good pair of Mundials as a weapon.

Let's see. here are some topics for an all-male blog ring...

The Etiquette of Proper Spitting and Scratching

Belching the Alphabet

How to Pretend to Listen

No We Didn't Forget the Trash, It's Our Best And Only Outlet For Rebellious Expression

Good Comebacks to the "Does this [fill in] make me look fat?" Question That Won't Get You In Trouble

When Your Friend Says, "Big breasts aren't important" And You Realize He Is Very Gay

Shaving Your Privates: Will Looking Like a Porn Star Help You Get Laid?

How to Map Escape Routes for Fights and That Time of the Month

Why Are Women Smarter Than Us?

Why Are Gorillas Smarter Than Us?

Other lady posters should feel free to add theirs as well.

Later,
bbeck

Only women can call shirts "tops." If any of your male friends ever says "Hey, I have to go home to change into a different 'top,'" keep your eye on him.

On a related note, if you ever want to find out if a guy is gay, tell him you like his shoes.

Pretty funny! My fav: "When husband falls asleep" bit. My wife always does stuff like that.

I think it's time for a 'battle of the sexes' flame thread.

With a third (and fourth?) side for gay commenters, of course.

* Home Gardening: Spending Hours and Hours Planting Stupid Fucking Vegetables That Pretty Much Taste As Shitty as the Ones You Get From PathMark

Ok, now that hurt.

My vegetables are fresh and delicious....and my flower border is gorgeous so far this year.

Fuck you, man.
Fuck you.

I really like it when two chicks are blogging, and one of the chicks husband comes home unexpectedly, but rather than get upset, he joins them in the blogging. That's a classic.

husband comes home unexpectedly, but rather than get upset, he joins them in the blogging

That happens ALL THE TIME with Merri and that guy with the top.

In fact, the guy with the top guest-blogs at my site. Merri's one jealous beeyotch!

On a side-note, I think this thread has more estrogen in it than I've ever seen around here. ;-)

HEY!!! Those bitches didn't even ask me, and just look at all my womyn fans!!!

:sigh: Still being rejected by the popular girls.

A bit long, but:

How to remember to never identify yourself when you call a girl--when she picks up the phone just say "Hey" and expect her to recognize your voice.

LOL!!
LD, all men do that.
If a customer calls me at work, a female will say, "Hi Laura, this is Sue Smith, you did blah-blah-blah for me last week, and told me to call you if such n such occurred...."

Thus giving me a chance to figure out who the Hell she is and remember the transaction.

A male will call and say, "Hi Laura, got that quote ready for me?" Or "Hey, how ya doing kiddo, this is Bob..."

And I have to rely on context clues, my mind racing, trying to figure out which job it is.

They all think they are the only Important Being in your life.

Laura sighs, opens the dusty old trunk.
"Its been a long time, old friends. But I need you again."

She carefully unfolds a faded paper sash printed with the words MISS THREAD KILLER, then drapes it across her shoulder and hip. It rips a little in one corner, and she winces.
She nestles a glittery plastic tiara into her hair. And for just a moment stands before the mirror, practicing her parade wave.

"Just like riding a bike. Let's go."

A male colleague and I have had many a discussion about his cute shoes.

He has a pair with Pilgrim buckles that I'm particularly fond of.

Dammit Donnah

It's not your fault, Laura. It's just that when women talk about anything other than their breasts or sex, men just tune out.

It's what keeps us from murdering you.

Most of the time, anyway.

I kill a lot of threads too, Laura, but I'm not wearing any damn sash or tiara

Ace, its breasts, sex, and food.

"Hon, would you like a sandwich? Oh, and will you get my oil changed this weekend?"

Did someone mention a sash and a tiara? Who do I have to wrestle for those?

Who do I have to wrestle for those?

I think Janette is aiming for the MISS THREAD REVIVOR title.

Later,
bbeck

(removes earrings)
.
.
.
(pulls hair back into ponytail)
.
.
.
(applies vaseline to face and neck)

Out of my cold, dead, hands, bitch.

It's just that when women talk about anything other than their breasts or sex, men just tune out.

THIS. IS. SO. TRUE.

I was at lunch TODAY with 3 male co workers and they were talking amongst themselves, not listening to what I was saying, so I just blurted out "NIPPLE", they snapped there heads in my direction so fast I am pretty sure one of them has whiplash. I had the undivided attention of all three of them..."did you say nipple?"..."what about your nipple?"..."somebody's nipple is showing...where...is it hot nipple"?

Too bad I didn't have anything interesting to say.

I don't know why they invite me to lunch, they never listen when I am talking. Must be my stunning good looks....or the hopes they may see some nipple falling out...

Laura, lol, Sorry I left you high and dry.

My favorite trick is even if I recognize the voice I pretend not to..."umm, who is calling?"

Sadly, it has no effect in changing the behavior.

sigh, OK, for the guys: boobs boobs boobs. Is that better now?

*turns his head attentively*

Did you say something LD?

Dave:

did we have lunch today?

Dave,

We were discussing how much easier it is to read and pronounce Middle English as opposed to Old English...and then we were talking about world geography and how much more romantic Tanganika and Ceylon sound rather than the current names....you know, the usual. :)

Boobies

Oh, bullshit. You were checking out the busboys and giggling over various cabana-boy fantasies. And skewering the one girl from the office who didn't show.

Oh yeah, Old vs. Middle. Geoffrey Chaucer and all that. Miller's tale. Beo... beo.... wait, what did you say again?

HEY! I was over at Wizbang. Did somebody mention boobies?

BTW, Dave in Texas, stop trying to impress the chicks with literary erudition. It's not the Miller's Tale, it's Canterbury Tales. Obviously, your knowledge of Middle English is limited to smoking pot and listening to Procul Harum's Whiter Shade of Pale.

Just talk about your pickup truck.

Ok, OK. The Miller's prologue and Tale. Punk.

We skipped the lights fandango, turned cartwheels on the floor, I was feeling kinda seasick, the crowd called out for more

Yeah. We covered it for 6 years. Still a crowd pleaser. Bitch to sing.

What will it take to kill this thread?

Oh, I know, a Batman quote:

Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."

I get the sash and tiara, right?

[Silence = Consent]

People think they can challenge me.
It's ridunculus.

I'll be here, baby, long after it's gone stale.
When only a complete ass would still haunt the thread.
I'll be here.

The only category that even remotely pertains to me is the gardening one. And fresh produce does taste better. Right, Laura? ;)

My sugar snap peas are at the top of the trellis and will make flowers soon...
Already eaten three salads of spring green mix from the patch.

"Already eaten three salads of spring green mix from the patch."

I have no idea whether this was literal or a very cleverly-phrased innuendo...

Either way, it sounded HAWT!

You men are all diseased animals.
I do love that.

We don't consider it a disease...more like a blessing.

If women could learn to distill life to the essentials (sex, food, football), dinner table conversations would be so much more entertaining

lauraw ~ You know the boys only started this to provoke a cat fight, right?

::distracted by sparkles, rational thought over::

I want that tiara, skank, and I'm going to rip you bald to get it! Let's go!

How many of you posers am I going to have to talk over to get my way?

I'm following this thread all the fucking way down the scrollbar and into the archives.

Nobody's a bigger loser than me, got it??!?

[this is not an official comment]

lol!

[Michael thinks it over, shuts up, heads for exit.]

Yeah you BETTER run.

snort

Michael thinks it over, shuts up...

Well, that's a first.

Later,
bbeck

(Sorry, felt obligated to give Michael crap.)

lauraw ~ Look hon, I don't CARE how big of a loser you are.

Just hand over the tiara and no one gets hurt.

You can keep the sash if you like, you've already gotten salad dressing on it anyway.

My female wrestler friends may have something to say about anyone threatening Laura and her tiara.

Bring...it...on...

And, uh, Michael, a haiku for you:

Michael's past his prime
Batman cape droops in the wind
Much like his johnson

:)

[FYI, I checked everywhere and Michael is really gone. He is not lurking behind the couch or something.]

Hey, I thought the guy thing was "food, fucking, and fighting (or football)".

See, a REAL woman knows these things.

(...which is why Michael found his way over to my blog...hahahaa) ;-)

[Some anonymous person who is not hiding behind the couch, because that would be undignified and unmanly, decides to get strict with these broads.]

Robin: "That's an impossible shot, Batman."
Batman: "That's a negative attitude, Robin."

Bruce: "Yes, Dick, your bird calls are close to perfect. If more people practiced them, someday we might have a chance for real communication with our feathered friends."
Dick: "In that case I think I'll polish up my ruby-crowned kinglet and my rose-breasted yellow-tailed grouse-beak calls."

Batman: "The green button will turn the car a la escarda o a la drecia."
Robin: "To the left or right. Threw in a little Spanish on me, huh, Batman?"
Batman: "One should always keep abreast of foreign tongues, Robin."

Riddler (to Dynamic Duo: "For two people about to become human candles, you have a lot of questions."
Batman: "I'm always interested in the way the criminal mind works."

Batman: "I made a bargain with Penguin, and I never break my word."
Marsha: "Bargain? Why, half the men in the world would fight to be kissed by Marsha, Queen of Diamonds."
Batman: "They certainly wouldn't have to fight me."

Robin: "Don't fret. With good behaviour you could be out in 7 and a half years."
Catwoman: "But I'll be an old tabby by then..."
Batman: "Never fear, there will always be someone waiting for one as beauteous as you."

Batman: "I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you."
Catwoman: "Marry me."
Batman: "Everything except that."

:: how do I get myself into these things? Oh yeah, sparkly stuff! ::

Shame: "Get away from our Fanny!"
Robin: "They'll let us have it if we do."
Batman: "So? We can't hide behind a woman."

Batman: "Women like Olga have been the downfall of far wiser men than Egghead."

Michael, did you READ my haiku?!

All you've got is Batman quotes? You really are bucking for that tiara, aren't you?

Sheesh.

Robin: Holy Shmoley, Batman, how did you know she was a criminal? She seemed like such a nice person.
Batman: Always observe a woman's feet, Robin. The evil one's always have long, arched, free-range feet.
Robin: Gosh, I did not know that, Batman.

Batgirl: Did you notice that?
Catwoman: Of course, he can't even...
Batgirl: ...Yeah, I know...
Catwoman: He misuses apostrophes like nobody's business
Batgirl: Nice feet
Catwoman: Thanks

LD, how come you know so much about Michael's johnson?

(brushes glitter off her shoulder)

The glue on this tiara is getting old. I can see the blue plastic underneath.

He also mispelled 'right' and 'left' in Spanish.

I believe it's derecha and izquierda, but I could be wrong about izquierda.

-And thanks for the help LD.

You know, when you're standing astride the pinnacle of the mountain, some crazy bitch always comes along aiming to take you down.
I'm so upset I can barely muster the enthusiasm to practice my parade wave. Just barely.

:: glitter? glue? plastic? eeeew! from this distance i couldn't tell how cheap and tacky that thing is ::

I concede, lauraw. You deserve that thing, err, I mean tiara much more than I do.

*SMILING SWEETLY AND WAVING, WAVING TO HERSELF IN THE MIRROR*