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May 27, 2005
The First Million Is Always The HardestMy sitemeter seems to be telling me that sometime over the next few days, maybe tomorrow, I'll be breaking the two million mark unique visitors mark. I plan to celebrate by relinking old posts I've already linked six bazillion times. Just kidding. To thank you for reading, I won't relink anything at all. I'll just do what I usually do on a Memorial Day weekend -- shoot bottle-rockets at the neighborhood cats, and then, when the cops come, blame it on a Puerto Rican kid. You just have to say "Puerto Rican" and "bottle-rockets" and the cops just start nodding with sage understanding. Thanks for reading. And thanks to all of you who donated, too, although I'm just getting to thank-you letters now. I apologize for the delay. The account (yahoo, where paypal notifications are sent) has been balky again and tends to crash when I open mail. But it's working well enough now. posted by Ace at 04:33 PM
CommentsI've just clicked your site 10 times on general principle. Wow, look at dem numbers climb. Posted by: Nickie Goomba on May 27, 2005 04:54 PM
"You just have to say "Puerto Rican" and "bottle-rockets" and the cops just start nodding with sage understanding." Nice. Posted by: Greg on May 27, 2005 05:06 PM
Congrats on your numbers. I'm celebrating getting 50 unique visitors at my website. Beer and pizza on me . . . that is, if anyone can find me . . . Posted by: Scout on May 27, 2005 05:44 PM
Somewhere during the weekend long bender I'm about to go own, I'll be sure to stagger up to the bar, raise my glass, and dedicate one to Ace Posted by: brak on May 27, 2005 05:49 PM
bravo. I remember when you started blogging about 27 hours before I did. way to stick with it. i would do more as well, but, y'know, i'm "mental". talk to you soon. Posted by: bostonirish on May 27, 2005 06:35 PM
Brak...one step ahead of you. Mmmm...Sam Adams Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 06:49 PM
Two million. So, will you rest on your laurels, or will you do something to make your life meaningful? Like, organize the conquest of Canada. It really wouldn't be that hard. Posted by: Michael on May 27, 2005 09:10 PM
You wouldn't really have to "organize" the invasion of Canada. All it would take is a couple of guys with slingshots and harsh words. Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 09:13 PM
As I've previously pointed out to Ace (in separate emails), the invasion of Canada would be really simple from a logistical standpoint Something like 80% of the Canadian population lives within 50 miles of the US border. This means we could do the job with one tank of gas in an M1 Abrams main battle tank. Mopping up in places like Calgary and Edmonton would take a few weeks longer, but would not be a big problem. I'm still pissed off about the War of 1812. They burned down the White House. Time for some payback. And I'll bet those sneaky Canucks have some weapons of mass destruction . . . Posted by: Michael on May 27, 2005 09:23 PM
I think we could even the score by destroying a few hockey stadiums. Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 09:33 PM
The cool thing is this -- if we conquer Canada (and get the natural gas reserves and everything else), we can count on them to be polite about it. They will just be working their calculators to figure out that the lower U.S. tax burden more than compensates for the health insurance premiums they're going to pay. I don't think we're going to encounter a lot of Canadian suicide bombers. Posted by: Michael on May 27, 2005 09:58 PM
> You just have to say "Puerto Rican" and "bottle-rockets" and the cops just start nodding with sage understanding It worked for the "runaway bride" --- wait... no it didn't! Posted by: Guy T. on May 27, 2005 10:01 PM
I don't think we're going to encounter a lot of Canadian suicide bombers. Maybe not in Ontario, but what about Quebecers? Those bastards are crazy. Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 10:07 PM
The best 4th of July I ever observed was in 2003. All the Mexicans in my Nashville-area apartment complex went absolutely crazy with what must've been 100 or 150 dollars per apartment of fireworks. I had some too but felt like I just wasn't celebrating my country's freedom nearly as well as all my illegal alien neighbors. The only other 4th of July that ever came close was from a summer I spent in the Appalachian Mountains, 1992 IIRC. Those people must've spent half their county's budget on the fireworks and production value. And in both places the number of whoops and hollars and honest-to-goodness celebration overwhelmed what I saw when I was working in DC and was in the nation's capital for Independence Day. So maybe that's why the cops would believe the Puerto Ricans were the ones with the fireworks. (Yes, it's a stretch to relate your comments to my real world experience. I just thought I'd share. Regards.) Posted by: Birkel on May 27, 2005 10:51 PM
they burned down the gambling house, it died with an awful sound
Posted by: Dave in Texas on May 27, 2005 11:47 PM
who the hell was Funky Claude anyway Who cares? I just want to see some smoke on the water of Lake Erie when we teach those Canadians a lesson or two. Posted by: Michael on May 28, 2005 02:51 AM
Congrats, ACE, on the 2 million threshold. I'll be there too in another 40 years! Posted by: Bernard Higgins on May 28, 2005 07:48 AM
Congratulations, you shivering Sitemeter whore. How about less focus on your hits and more focus on your content? By my count, you only have 3800+ entries. That's pretty weak considering you have two million hits. Slacker. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on May 28, 2005 10:44 AM
Congratulations. Any way to tell who the actual #2,000,000 visitor is? Two free tickets to paradise, er, Jersey? Posted by: rdbrewer on May 28, 2005 10:56 AM
Congrats Ace. You have the gift of funny like the Jedi have mitochlorines (or whatever). A million. That is like a one with a bunch of zeroes right? Posted by: Gordon on May 28, 2005 11:05 AM
Ace, the coolest thing is your average visit length. It's the highest. Bar none. We got into this subject over at TPW (Ace-O-Spades), btw. Kos' average visit length is two seconds. You should get extra advertising bucks for that. Posted by: rdbrewer on May 28, 2005 05:10 PM
Congrats on your 2,000,000th! I wonder how many of Ace's readers just leave a window open to the blog? I often do this and may be connected to Ace's site for hours at a time. Looking through those currently connected I see one who have been connected for nearly four hours and a couple over an hour. I think that the Average Visit Length doesn't neccessarily mean that people are reading Ace and Ace's commentors for the 4:31, but it does mean something more important; that people are interested enough in what Ace et al have to say to stay connected to the site even when not looking at the content. Posted by: vonKreedon on May 29, 2005 11:06 PM
Why would it be any more or less on average than readers of two second Kos? Posted by: rdbrewer on May 31, 2005 04:58 AM
"I won't relink anything at all." Traitor! ;-) Congrats on 2 million. Posted by: Tom on May 31, 2005 11:02 AM
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