Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« They Also Serve Who Stand Around In The Jungle For Sixty F'n' Years | Main | Ten Minute Mega-Teaser for Batman Begins »
May 27, 2005

The First Million Is Always The Hardest

My sitemeter seems to be telling me that sometime over the next few days, maybe tomorrow, I'll be breaking the two million mark unique visitors mark.

I plan to celebrate by relinking old posts I've already linked six bazillion times.

Just kidding. To thank you for reading, I won't relink anything at all. I'll just do what I usually do on a Memorial Day weekend -- shoot bottle-rockets at the neighborhood cats, and then, when the cops come, blame it on a Puerto Rican kid.

You just have to say "Puerto Rican" and "bottle-rockets" and the cops just start nodding with sage understanding.

Thanks for reading.

And thanks to all of you who donated, too, although I'm just getting to thank-you letters now. I apologize for the delay. The account (yahoo, where paypal notifications are sent) has been balky again and tends to crash when I open mail. But it's working well enough now.


posted by Ace at 04:33 PM
Comments



I've just clicked your site 10 times on general principle. Wow, look at dem numbers climb.

Posted by: Nickie Goomba on May 27, 2005 04:54 PM

"You just have to say "Puerto Rican" and "bottle-rockets" and the cops just start nodding with sage understanding."

Nice.

Posted by: Greg on May 27, 2005 05:06 PM

Congrats on your numbers.

I'm celebrating getting 50 unique visitors at my website. Beer and pizza on me . . . that is, if anyone can find me . . .

Posted by: Scout on May 27, 2005 05:44 PM

Somewhere during the weekend long bender I'm about to go own, I'll be sure to stagger up to the bar, raise my glass, and dedicate one to Ace

Posted by: brak on May 27, 2005 05:49 PM

bravo. I remember when you started blogging about 27 hours before I did. way to stick with it.

i would do more as well, but, y'know, i'm "mental".

talk to you soon.

Posted by: bostonirish on May 27, 2005 06:35 PM

Brak...one step ahead of you.

Mmmm...Sam Adams

Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 06:49 PM

Two million. So, will you rest on your laurels, or will you do something to make your life meaningful?

Like, organize the conquest of Canada. It really wouldn't be that hard.

Posted by: Michael on May 27, 2005 09:10 PM

You wouldn't really have to "organize" the invasion of Canada. All it would take is a couple of guys with slingshots and harsh words.

Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 09:13 PM

As I've previously pointed out to Ace (in separate emails), the invasion of Canada would be really simple from a logistical standpoint

Something like 80% of the Canadian population lives within 50 miles of the US border. This means we could do the job with one tank of gas in an M1 Abrams main battle tank. Mopping up in places like Calgary and Edmonton would take a few weeks longer, but would not be a big problem.

I'm still pissed off about the War of 1812. They burned down the White House. Time for some payback. And I'll bet those sneaky Canucks have some weapons of mass destruction . . .

Posted by: Michael on May 27, 2005 09:23 PM

I think we could even the score by destroying a few hockey stadiums.

Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 09:33 PM

The cool thing is this -- if we conquer Canada (and get the natural gas reserves and everything else), we can count on them to be polite about it. They will just be working their calculators to figure out that the lower U.S. tax burden more than compensates for the health insurance premiums they're going to pay. I don't think we're going to encounter a lot of Canadian suicide bombers.

Posted by: Michael on May 27, 2005 09:58 PM

> You just have to say "Puerto Rican" and "bottle-rockets" and the cops just start nodding with sage understanding

It worked for the "runaway bride" --- wait... no it didn't!

Posted by: Guy T. on May 27, 2005 10:01 PM

I don't think we're going to encounter a lot of Canadian suicide bombers.

Maybe not in Ontario, but what about Quebecers?

Those bastards are crazy.

Posted by: Slublog on May 27, 2005 10:07 PM

The best 4th of July I ever observed was in 2003. All the Mexicans in my Nashville-area apartment complex went absolutely crazy with what must've been 100 or 150 dollars per apartment of fireworks. I had some too but felt like I just wasn't celebrating my country's freedom nearly as well as all my illegal alien neighbors.

The only other 4th of July that ever came close was from a summer I spent in the Appalachian Mountains, 1992 IIRC. Those people must've spent half their county's budget on the fireworks and production value.

And in both places the number of whoops and hollars and honest-to-goodness celebration overwhelmed what I saw when I was working in DC and was in the nation's capital for Independence Day.

So maybe that's why the cops would believe the Puerto Ricans were the ones with the fireworks.

(Yes, it's a stretch to relate your comments to my real world experience. I just thought I'd share. Regards.)

Posted by: Birkel on May 27, 2005 10:51 PM

they burned down the gambling house, it died with an awful sound


who the hell was Funky Claude anyway? and what was he doin throwin those kids out the ground?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on May 27, 2005 11:47 PM

who the hell was Funky Claude anyway

Who cares? I just want to see some smoke on the water of Lake Erie when we teach those Canadians a lesson or two.

Posted by: Michael on May 28, 2005 02:51 AM

Congrats, ACE, on the 2 million threshold. I'll be there too in another 40 years!

Posted by: Bernard Higgins on May 28, 2005 07:48 AM

Congratulations, you shivering Sitemeter whore.

How about less focus on your hits and more focus on your content?

By my count, you only have 3800+ entries. That's pretty weak considering you have two million hits.

Slacker.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on May 28, 2005 10:44 AM

Congratulations.

Any way to tell who the actual #2,000,000 visitor is? Two free tickets to paradise, er, Jersey?

Posted by: rdbrewer on May 28, 2005 10:56 AM

Congrats Ace. You have the gift of funny like the Jedi have mitochlorines (or whatever).

A million. That is like a one with a bunch of zeroes right?

Posted by: Gordon on May 28, 2005 11:05 AM

Ace, the coolest thing is your average visit length. It's the highest. Bar none. We got into this subject over at TPW (Ace-O-Spades), btw. Kos' average visit length is two seconds.

You should get extra advertising bucks for that.

Posted by: rdbrewer on May 28, 2005 05:10 PM

Congrats on your 2,000,000th!

I wonder how many of Ace's readers just leave a window open to the blog? I often do this and may be connected to Ace's site for hours at a time. Looking through those currently connected I see one who have been connected for nearly four hours and a couple over an hour.

I think that the Average Visit Length doesn't neccessarily mean that people are reading Ace and Ace's commentors for the 4:31, but it does mean something more important; that people are interested enough in what Ace et al have to say to stay connected to the site even when not looking at the content.

Posted by: vonKreedon on May 29, 2005 11:06 PM

Why would it be any more or less on average than readers of two second Kos?

Posted by: rdbrewer on May 31, 2005 04:58 AM

"I won't relink anything at all."

Traitor! ;-) Congrats on 2 million.

Posted by: Tom on May 31, 2005 11:02 AM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Paul Sperry
@paulsperry_

NEW: Just heard something extraordinary from a former White House official who worked with former National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster in Trump45's NSC: "McMaster had weekly phone calls with George Soros. We have no idea why." Neither could be reached for comment.
Deport...Deport...Deport The F***ing Lot! A new UK anthem? [Hat Tip: S.E.] [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton dissect the Iran treaty but praise the great U.S. military, decry the deep state's influence on SAVE and FISA, talk marijuana and guns, mock the Northeast's racism, and Go Knicks!
Trump: Ukraine War 'Thousands of Miles Away' is 'Nothing to Do' with America Russia isn't threatening to kill Americans! [CBD]
Update to Gavin Newsom Under Investigation story: This investigation was begun under Senor Dementia:
Adam Housley
@adamhousley

As I have reported several times and now acknowledged by the Governor of California... Gavin and his wife are under federal investigation... what he failed to tell you... This began during the Biden Admin. Kind of a big detail.
Teen Driver Tayvin Galanakis Wins Jury Trial Against Officers Who Charged Him With DUI Even After He Blew 0.0 on A Breathalyzer And Passed Sobriety Tests. One Officer Accounted For 72% of All DUI Arrests For That PD [dri]
Days before the woman was stabbed in the neck by a taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer, in the same general area, another taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer attacked a boy and bloodied his head with a brick.
What is the UK Regime's plan for protecting the citizens from the savage criminals they've foisted on the populace? They offer NONE. They do, however, have a plan for protecting the savage criminals from the citizens: The citizens must STAY CALM and not get angry and not share videos of citizens being attacked by savage criminals.
The public keeps saying "protect us from the foreign savages you have imported against our wishes and over our objections" and the UK branch of The Regime keeps proposing plans to protect the foreign savages from the public. Soclose to what the public is demanding, just, you know, the complete opposite.
Just a thought: Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the public attacking the savage criminals if you actually introduced a plan to protect the public from the savage criminals. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if it was necessary for them to protect the public through self-help.
Courtney Subramiam, one of the "journalists" who "previewed" her questions for the decrepit and demented Biden so that he could "answer" it with a pre-scripted response, rewarded by promotion to president of the White House Press Corps
Bonchie
@bonchieredstate

hahahahaha

This is the lady who gave her question to Biden beforehand, and he had it written verbatim in his notes with her picture.

You know what's really terrible? There are Daily Signal reporters in the press room. That's the Real Scandal Here!
You might think that movie critics by nature are effeminate and bitchy, but, did you know that grass is green and red peppers are red?
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD bounce around from Maine and its pet Nazi, to the cracks in the Democrat messaging, to the failure of California and its effect on the 2028 election, sea drones rescuing Apache crews, and more!
Seattle mayor shrugs off millionaire-tax concerns as 44% of business leaders consider leaving
It happens in all the blue states, but WA and Seattle will be different! [CBD]
Recent Comments
Thanatopsis: "Hola ..."

fd: "There was nothing particularly wrong with the Star ..."

Matthew Kant Cipher: "Gsr ..."

Eromero: "Just now putting some books up and one was a twofe ..."

no one of any consequence: " gKWVE, You deserve every bit of abuse. You rep ..."

Cicero (@cicero43): "Callixtus III was the first Borgia pope. Alexander ..."

Miguel cervantes: "For robocop ..."

Miguel cervantes: "The syfy series was one of the best adaptations ..."

Just Some Guy: "And outta here for the evening. TJM, thanks for ..."

fd: "It's a movie thread. Go be mad somewhere else. ..."

Miguel cervantes: "Funny how ocp is the optimum version of law enforc ..."

mnw: "It was a popular belief that Alexander VI was so c ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives