I was a fan of MST3K. Many of the shows weren't much better than the movie they were ridiculing, but every once in a while they'd drop a line that had me rolling.

I really hate it when other people talk during a movie, and I'm not particularly quick on the one-liners as a rule, but I remember when Universal Soldier came out and I couldn't help but to add commentary as the film went along and I was, like Bob Dole's Cock at a Sorority Rush, on fucking fire.

I'm happy to report that the crowd within listening distance of me had a much better time at that movie than the rest, but I can't help wonder how many, like me, occasionally think about buying the dvd just because they have a much better memory of the experience than the movie actually provides on its own.

Oh well. As the great Soc-rates once said, Caveat Emptor, Beeyatch.

(wtf?? Your filter has something against ancient philosophers?! LMAO at that one)

that was me. ^^^

I wouldn't take Schrader's word. The only film of his I've ever liked was his Patty Hearst pic, & that probably because the subject was interesting to me

Not a fan of MST3K???

They has some real clunkers, and at times even the funny shows ran out of gas after an hour or so, but when that show was funny it was freaking hysterical.

They had some classic lines.

OK, now, Ace, don't get all whiny and say that I'm telling you this is old, but Roger Friedman wrote about this in his March 24 Fox411 column. From what he said, it sounds like it might be good, at least worth checking out.

The column is here. Money quote:

Last week, however, Schrader took a gamble. He showed his version at the Brussels Fantasy Film Festival. He and the cast all showed up — on their own dime, since no studio now identifies itself with the movie.

The bet worked. Critics wrote admiring reviews. Variety, in particular, sang Schrader's praises: "Schrader's intelligent, quietly subversive pic emphasizes spiritual agony over horror ecstasy, while paying occasional lip service to the need for scares ... Schrader has delivered a 100 percent Paul Schrader film, drenched in the spiritual and moral angst that's watermarked his career."

The payoff is that Morgan Creek and Warner Brothers are going to release "Paul Schrader's Exorcist: The Beginning," in the next two months.

Yeah, I think it would be fun to watch them both, back to back. The version that was actually released got such bad reviews that there's a good chance it will be in the "so bad it's good" zone.

Never that into MST3K myself. No matter what, you're still sitting through an awful movie. Still though, always really liked the inter-bits they did with the robots, and Joel Hodgson is one of the funniest guys I've seen anywhere. Preferred him to the second guy, Mike Nelson, but I like how Nelson thinks:

[The Passion of the Christ] was a pretty fine movie, and darned if it didn’t get people talking about religion again, a subject that some are trying to close off from the public square, a pet peeve of mine. Though the Judeo-Christian worldview has served us well for more than two hundred years and underpins the finest society in the history of the world, there are those fighting hard to throw it all on the scrap heap and replace it with radical secularism, a worldview that has brought us Nazism, Communism and some of the greatest horrors of all time.

Damn fine stuff, and I, an athiest, couldn't agree more. (Ran across the quote on Colby Cosh, He links to the full interview with Nelson.)

Nice catch, Ray.

I find the interviews by grade "c" celebrities to generally be the most interesting.

Hey, Hobgoblin, here's one for you:

http://2theadvocate.com/stories/051905/new_cult001.shtml

I loved MST3k! I still have a bunch of back episodes on tape. I don't think I would trust Schrader's word either. He probably loves his artsy-fartsy look at the beginnings of the Exorsist, but if it was worse than the one that was released, it must be a real steaming pile...

I saw the first one of the two, watched it about 6 motnths ago (black market copy, clear but still a little dark to see special effects details). It was decent, not the greatest, but decent. Was never a fan of the exorcist anyways, tried to watch the original and it put me to sleep 3 times......that being said, I heard the one I watched was supposed to be the better or the two. Time will tell. It was decent, just can't see why in the world two people would make the same movie to begin with, especially exorcist, like I said didn't like the original.

Ray,

Saw the same thing. I especially liked the bit where Nelson comes out as a harder-core Republican than I am. I never, ever would have suspected it.

There are people who are not fans of MST3K. I did not think such people existed. What are you all, commies?!?!?

First Knight was hideous though -- in fact, I have never been able to watch more than five minutes of it, and I sat through all of The Day After Tomorrow. A few years ago I was slogging through one of my intermittent attempts to finish my college degree and I was taking Medieval History, and one of my classmates used a clip of that film in her presentation. I wanted to die. It was the one where they are jousting to Queen's "We Will (We Will) Rock You."

Andrea:

This isn't the insult thread so I'll refrain from calling you an ignorant slut.

You are confusing First Knight (with Richard "could I be acting as a brooding conflicted protaganist any harder" Gere") with A Knight's Tale.

Say what you want about contemporizing A Knight's Tale with the choice of music and the WWE intros... that was some of the best frick'n jousting I've seen on film.

And I mentioned in another thread... it had me at Chaucer.

How could any producer decide that Schrader's the right match for the screenplay, then choose Renny Harlin for the second pass? If the script was remotely suited for one of them, it was dead wrong for the other.

It's like puzzling over a casting decision between Anthony Hopkins and Carrot-Top. If you have trouble deciding, then you don't understand your material.

There are an awful lot of idiots out there with an awful lot of money.

The Harlin version is painfully bad. Like having a badger gnaw off colon polyps.

The Schrader version isn't great, but it's much, much better than the Harlin version. LIGHT YEARS better.

But hey, nobody seeing the Exorcist wants to enjoy psychological horror. . . the tweens want to see spinning heads and green vomit, right?

Personally, I'm glad they released Schrader's version. For one, I was curious to see it. For two, it's a nice little slap against Harlin, who is such a hack he makes Michael Bay look like Wim Wenders.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

[stumbling blearily but happily out of bed] Howard Dean, Howard Dean, da da da dum dum dee...

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHH

"Bible talks about something like the mote in... the shortcomings of... well, something like the mote in your eye when you've got your own shortcomings"

bwahahaha

Is that from the Book of Job in the New Testament? :D

Dean tries another Bible allusion "I'm a Christian! I'm not ashamed to admit it but I don't go around wearing it on my sleeve! I believe in the teachings of Christ! And I won't be lectured to by people who don't have the mote taken out of their own eye!"

Uh, you think you might want to READ the teachings of Christ anytime soon? Matthew 7:5 is what you were desperately groping for... same as when you started off with: "Bible talks about something like the mote in... the shortcomings of... well, something like the mote in your eye when you've got your own shortcomings"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PSYCHO! PSYCHO!! YOU UNBELIEVABLY F'IN PSYCHO CRAZY MAN

Russert: "Now in your own state, Bernie Sanders describes himself as a Soc*alist..."
Dean: "No, Bernie Sanders isn't a Soc*alist, he's really a Democrat."
Russert: "But Bernie Sanders himself describes himself as a Soc*alist. 'I am a Soc*alist Democrat,' he said."
Dean: "No, no, Bernie is a Democrat."
Russert: "But -"
Dean: "No, Tim, really, Bernie is a liberal Democrat, that's all he is. He votes with the Democrats 98% of the time."

Dying here. Absolutely f'in dying. I was hoping for a mad frothing-at-the-mouth screaming flame-out but this was infinitely better. Oh sweet Jesus thank you, thank you, thank you...

And off we go to church, still taking a wicked and unjustifiable (oh, absolutely unjustifiable) delight in the suffering of our fellow man

O Lord, give me the strength to keep from breaking into hysterical fits of gleeful laughter in the confessional

I blame Karl Rove.

And I question the timing.

I also find this to be gob-smackingly vile.

The Democratic Party: 98% Soc*alist

Man oh man, does Dean think he's the Republican Party Chairman?

Huh?!? You don't like First Knight -- the greatest cinematic tour de force in recent memory"? You don't like the sound track?

*Michael sighs as he contemplates throwing pearls before swine*

Never mind, I just got back from Kansas City and I have IMPORTANT NEWS. You HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

Killing some time before my godson's wedding, I visited the Hallmark Visitor Center, where they have (among many other things) exhibits celebrating the Hallmark Hall of Fame series. Including such classics as the recent and unforgettable celelebration of Magic Retards -- Rose O'Porkell in Riding the Bus with My Sister.

THERE'S MORE TO COME! This fall, we will be treated to the Magic White Liberal educating Magic Negro Children in a new HHOF production -- The Water is Wide. This is bound to be a classic in the ever-expanding "magic-something" genre. Jeff Hepner plays an "enthusiastic schoolteacher who comes to a small island off the coast of South Carolina with the hope of bringing literacy and self-respect to the predominantly African-American, uneducated childrent who live there." He has to battle a black principal who "instructs him to be stern and tough," and must ultimately learn to be "stern and tough with pupils to keep them under control." He "strives to inspire the children and involve the people of the island in their chidren's education" with his "enthusiasm and unconventional style."

I can hardly wait.

Should have mentioned that all quotes in the foregoing post are from the Video News brochure distributed at the Hallmark Visitor Center. The cover of the current edition features Rosie O'Porkell doing her retard-face, which is what attracted my interest in the first place.

> There are an awful lot of idiots out there with an awful lot of money.

That's how Los Angeles got so big.

Hey, Ace, you raise a good topic: Mistybait. What recent movies will appear in the 2035 revival of MST3K?

I'll stipulate "Dragonheart" and all movies based on videogames. All movies written by Joe Esterhasz (sp?) (the "Flashdance"/"Showgirls" guy). All movies starring Steven Segall or Jean-Claude van Damme, or with the ASCII sequence "Kickbox" in the title. What else?

When I had the misfortune to see 'First Knight' in a theater, when Camaelot was first shown in the distance, I was one of at least a dozen voices that cried out, "It's only a model!"

It was the one feel-good moment of the show.

The main concept appeared to be that Camelot fell to senility rather than a crisis of faith on Arthur's part. Guinevere offers herself up to Arthur in exchange for protection of her homeland but he never remembers to send anyone there to do the job. Somewhere in Camelot was a forgotten 'To Do' list on a dry erase board with 'Set up garrison in Lyonnesse' scrawled on it along with 'Consult Merlin as to how Guinevere might be induced to produce a non-patricidal heir for me.'

THe MST3K coverage of 'Dragonheart' should also include a career retrospective of all the times Dennis Quaid has made his 'Ain't I just the cutuest thing?' face. Oddly, none of those scenes seem to conclude with Quaid having his expression altered by a fist.