Hoist the Black Flag. (snort).

G'luck. I'll try and tune in.

She plays D&D? That's cause for shame?

Media training.

No pauses.

No ughs.

Don't step on each other.

No Spiccoli.

Punchy, punchy, punchy.

No elaborate questions.

Don't listen to the guest so much as prepare what you are going to say when the guest stops talking.

Cue with Karol if you are in the same place - don't both start yammering simultaneously.

Take all your inside crap and esoteric crap and shelve it.

Any joke you have to explain is the equivalent of reading a Cathy comic

"Gary" doesn't rhyme with "Barry," Ace. [sigh]

We'll be listening. And waiting to shred you afterwards, of course, but that's only done out of love.

Good luck!

I figure you're doing some caffeine loading just about now ... but just in case you're hanging around here looking for some support ..

Good luck Ace-man!

(Karol, if you're out there, be gentle ...)

Speaking of Malkin -- she posted this story yesterday:

"Corey Kemp, [Philadelphia's] former treasurer, was charged with corrupting his office by accepting thousands of dollars worth of gifts from a lawyer and prolific Democratic fundraiser named Ronald A. White. [...] Two Commerce Bank executives, Stephen Umbrell and Glenn Holck, were accused of participating in the scheme to corrupt Kemp by arranging for their bank to overlook his bad credit history and give him a mortgage equal to 100% of the value of his new home."

http://michellemalkin.com/archives/002385.htm

My question is: how the hell did someone with a bad credit history become city treasurer in the first place?

Break a leg, or whatever the appropriate term is for radio. I plan to huff a whole can of Black Flag this afternoon in honor of the occasion.

Don't forget the fart joke. Every worthwhile program contains at least one good fart joke.

Substance, ace and Karol. Substance.

If there's one thing I don't want to hear, it's about your evenings with your bottle of Valurite bargain discount vodka.

Two shots of whisky, with a Red Bull chaser, about 45 mins. before the show will put you right.

If you can do it without the use of drugs, its not worth doing.

Mom always said I had the looks for radio.

Good luck.

Good luck to you both

Megan,

""Gary" doesn't rhyme with "Barry," Ace. "

WTF?

It does when I say it.

Hobgob-

It's the difference between "hat" and "bait," doofus. I know three Garys and two Barrys. The names don't f'in rhyme.

Remember the most important rule of radio...oh, hell...who am I kidding? I've never been on radio.

Forget it...good luck, Ace.

Megan, what part of the country are you from, originally?

Out here on the Left Coast, Barry and Gary rhyme.

Where don't they?

I grew up mostly in southern Louisiana (and a ton of other countries and states later on), but I don't think that has anything to do with it. I live in northern Virginia now, and the two names definitely don't rhyme here.

It's the difference between "hat" and "bait"

The vowell in Gary and Barry is like neither "hat" nor "bait." It's actually more of a short-e, like "bed" although the "r" that follows tends to lengthen it a little.

Like Kerry, Hairy, Larry. That sort of thing.

Regional accents and such bore the shit out of folks, Ace. Don't get into that dull shit.

You'll kill, dude. Remind me to tell you how I came up with that name for your show.

Finn -

Now where the hell are you from? :)

Gary is pronounced with a "long A" sound. Bait.

Barry is pronounced with a "short A" sound. Hat.

Ace, pace spongeworthy, I request, nay, demand that you address this pressing issue on your show. The easiest way to do this would be to issue the following statement:

"For the record, thorough research indicates that everyone who is not Megan is completely and totally wrong."

Thanks, Ace.

Dictionary.com lists Gary as being pronounced with a short A or an A with a circonflex thing on top of it. It shows Barry as being pronounced with a short A as well. I'd paste the phonetic descriptions down here but the symbols don't show up. I have never heard anyone pronounce gary and barry where it doesn't rhyme. I'm from South Texas FWIW.

Can you saw Twat on the radio?

Not that I'm saying one is right and one isn't, but just thought I'd toss that in. I think they are close enough it would be hard to tell much difference.

Funny topic to hijack the thread with.

I don't think Ace needs media help.

I am convinced he actually is Lorenzo Lamas.

ace: You and Karol are going to do just fine.

Megan, what part of Louisiana? I'm in New Orleans, and although I'm not a native, I've never heard anyone down here say "Gary" with a long "a" sound.

I think you're making stuff up. Crazy Louisianan. Maybe that explains Edwin Edwards and David Duke.

Megan

Just what part of La. are you from? Gary and Barry rhyme everytime I say them.

When in doubt, tell Malkin you want to chew her nipples off and go craaaaaaazy....

Do you mean like "Gay-rey"?

Do we have to explain what's wrong with pronouncing it like that?

(Brak, between you me and Jennifer, that's 3 South Texans here. Who'da thought?)

Which blog is Karol from again?

Dictionary.com lists Gary as being pronounced with a short A or an A with a circonflex thing on top of it. It shows Barry as being pronounced with a short A as well. I'd paste the phonetic descriptions down here but the symbols don't show up.

brak- are you kidding me? you actually looked it up? Please don't mention you are from Texas - you're making us look bad.

The minutia that gets discussed on this blog...

AMAZING

RWS: she is Alarming News. I would link to it, but I don't know how. (if anyone wants to show me...)

tinkerbelle:

I'm at work and easily distracted by minutia. Besides, it took all of 60 seconds

Merriam-Webster's says that an alternate pronunciation of "hairy" is with a short-e, like ferry.

Gary, ferry, fairy, hairy, Kerry and Barry all have the same pronunciation in my book.

Megan, I've known some Gary-s in Michigan and a Barry or two in Florida, and and Gary and Barry BOTH rhyme with Kerry.

All sound EXACTLY the same.

Are you pronouncing Barry like "bar" (as in go to the bar and get some drinks")?

Bar-y?

I say again, WTF?

Merriam-Webster's says that an alternate pronunciation of "hairy" is with a short-e, like ferry.

Gary, ferry, fairy, hairy, Kerry and Barry all have the same pronunciation in my book.

brak- don't worry...looks like you're not the only dork on the board. You have a friend in Finn.

finn: bingo

"Gary, ferry, fairy, hairy, Kerry and Barry"

as well as Larry, nary, contrary, and even fucking dictionary all have the same final glottal sound.

In Connecticut pronunskiation;

Gary and Barry rhyme
Ferry and Fairy do not quite rhyme
Hairy and Harry rhyme
Kerry and Carry do not quite rhyme
Very and Kerry rhyme

I getting sick now. I want off this ride

What's weird is whan people pronounce "Quarry" to rhyme with "query," Larry, and fairy.

Fonetiks.org agrees with me.

They call the sound a "long" version of the short-e (as opposed to the long-e sound, as in "see").

Examples they give are "air, where, there, their, they're, hair, care, scare, scarce, square."

I'd add Gary and Barry to that list.

And yes, tink, I admit it. I even know how to pronounce "Gygax." That's a discussion worth a thread of its own.

They rhyme in NYC.

guy-gacks?

guy-gacks?

You're only scratching the surface there, hobby.

random ace archive funny:

Top Ten Signs A Clown Might Have Gone Bad

. . . .

4. Says that Pin the Tail on the Donkey is no longer part of his act, "just to conform with the court order"

gy(as in gyroscope)-jacks?

You're all wrong.

Barry is pronounced Bah-ree. A as in "at," "hat," or "cat."

Gary is pronounced Gay-ree. Snicker if you like.

I had to call their names several days a week for three straight years when they were training at our TKD school. Don't tell me I was mispronouncing them the entire time - they would've said something at some point. :P

And I'm not from Louisiana, I just grew up there - parish of St Mary, southwest of Baton Rouge. My aunt has a gigantic old mansion on the coast there and she wanted me with her. But I was born in Virginia and I'm a Virginian. So double :P

Gary and Barry rhyme every single flippin' time unless you happen to be a lesbian with a gifted tongue, able to perform all kinds of tricks, such as fucking up the way you say Barry. It's kind of like the double-r roll in Spanish, only in lesbian, the 'a' before the double-r gets all whacky.

Okay, Mee-gan. We believe you.

(Snort.)

I hate you guys. I hate you guys so very, very much.

gy(as in gyroscope)-jacks?

You have to understand a few preliminaries.

First, it's not an American, or even English, word.

Second, it has gone substantial transformation over the course of time and transatlantic emmigration.

Third, even the High Priest of D&D himself, while possessor of the name, is not the final authority on its pronunciation. It's kind of like being king -- in a sense, he belongs to his subjects. So, Mr. Gygax may have an opinion about how to pronounce it, but the D&D community has something to say about it as well.

It's really best to think of the pronunciation of "Gygax" as one of the eternal mysteries of the universe.

Central Texas - they don't rhyme here either. We say "Gary" like "berry" or "query".

" able to perform all kinds of tricks, such as fucking up the way you say Barry"

LMFAO, cm

Yes, laugh it up while you can, gentlemen. Soon, you will be my propertah.

Dave

and everyone else says Barry just like berry (or do you say "burry" for the small fruits, Meegun?).

fucking Virginia. fucking Texas. fucking up the country.

I lived in Austin for awhile and I never heard barry, gary, berry, or query pronounced differently. How would you differentiate "berry" and "barry"?

Did'ya know that Texas is actually pronounced "Tay-hoss"? No lie.

grrr

Berry as in "Kerry," "cherry," or "very."

Barry as in "Larry," "Harry," or "marry."

only if you're Mexican, or you're talking about the Indian word tejas that the name comes from

yeah, brak, it's so confusing to have someone's name ot sound like a small edible fruit that the two are constantly confused in regular conversation.

"Would you like some berry jam?"

"Barry's in trouble?"

; P

They sound NOTHING alike.

And I hate you guys.

all the same, meegun

Actually, "Barry" is pronounced "Chester Mangrove." One of thse odd quirks of the English language.

my dictionary shows "cherry" and "marry" as being phonetically pronounced the same

Megan, you didn't grow up speaking Esperanto or one of those magical twin languages did you? :)

Cherry and marry DO NOT RHYME!

What kind of bizarre whacked-out dictionaries y'all looking at? Sheesh!

Oh, come ON. Everyone knows the dictionaries (which DOESN'T rhyme with hairy Barry-s*) are wrong, and Megan is the sole voice of authority in all things using the schwa "a"

break's over, back on your heads

*(pluralized Barries, but I don't want to confuse the poor girl)

dictionary.com

Ace is going to laugh when he checks this thread for reactions to his show and sees this conversation

Berry as in "Kerry," "cherry," or "very."

Barry as in "Larry," "Harry," or "marry."

All the same my phonetically phucked up phemale phriend.

I feel like Professor Higgins trying to train a bunch of illiterate, half-deaf retarded Mongoloids the finer differentiations extant between various inflections of the same vowel sound in Sanskrit.

It's not that f'in complicated.

And I hate you guys.

I guess there really is no point to arguing about it. We pronounce Barry the same as Berry and you pronounce it incorrectly. It's kind of cute when you think about it. We love you because of your weirdness, not despite it dear.

Umm.

Don't tell me Michelle once made out with Gary Gygax at a D&D convention?

And your blogad for your own show (on your website) says "Raise the Black Flag," not "Hoist." Someone should be fired.

"I feel like Professor Higgins trying to train a bunch of illiterate, half-deaf retarded Mongoloids..."

I AM A PERSON!

Megan's quite right, "cherry" and "marry" don't rhyme.

On the name thing, "Barry" really should rhyme with "marry." Oddly enough, however, "Gary" rhymes with "papaya." Of course, I could be mispronouncing "Gary."

Or mispronouncing "papaya." Ze English, she is tres confusing.

all this 'airy'-ness aside.... Cheeze, Ace; I just noticed you're on Huffington's blogroll. You got a lot to make up for, mister....

Maybe the majority of us are just too lazy to pronounce it the way it's meant to be pronounced.

In any case, I sure would like to bury my face between that Dusty girl's cute thighs.

Get in line.

Oh, and I still hate you guys. I hate you guys so very, very much.

Megan, the only people I've heard do the "Bahrry" pronunciation were Irish, from County Waterford. A very long ago boyfriend was Irish, and his sister said his name that way. Only his sister. Her boyfriend did something really weird with the middle vowel because he was from Donegal, and I can't quite call to mind how I'd write it out.

Further back in time, when I was growing up, Barry and Gary were brothers I knew - and yes, their sister's name was Sherry. In each case, the middle sound was the same.

Oh, the things our parents do to us!

don't hate me because I'm...beautiful, Meegun.

i've never really been all that worried about whether people pronounce things with a shortened long e, or a lengthened short e, or some sort of crazy fuckin a, but it sure is fun watching everyone trying to explain these sounds by spelling them out. by the way, anyone know how you're actually supposed to say that greek "gyro" thing? i swear, whatever i call it somebody bitches at me about it.

anyways, i don't have a problem with loosely rhyming words like those so much. shit, it never even bothered me when the sex pistols rhymed "antichrist" with "anarchist".

Wow. Ironic, this, because:

1. I have an uncle named Barry.

2. I have a sister named Kerry.

My uncle pronounces his name like marry, parry, and carry. He's from Virginia, but he lives south of San Francisco.

My sister pronounces her name like berry, sherry, terry, and cherry. She's from New York.

Both of them think Gary sounds like Mary and contrary (hence the nursery rhyme).

Both of them pronounce query like this:

"QUEER-ee."

So, at a conservative estimate, you have each been wrong 8,000 times in this thread alone.

You know, every time you mispronounce a word, a baby angels dies. You all are KILLING BABY ANGELS. For SHAME.

ramms, that particular attempt at a slant rhyme sent me screaming away from the Sex Pistols and punk generally.

The only thing that stopped me quite as dead in my tracks was Boz Scaggs rhyming "Buddha" and "computah".

Thank you.

And as for the rest of you lot, stop killing baby angels.

oh, and since we're on the subject (kinda) i've got this friend from new york that pronounces "water" somehting like "wooter" or maybe it's more of a "wuhter"? anyways, is this a normal new york type thing or he is just a dumbass as i've long suspected?

So, you Texans will confirm that Bexar County (home of the Alamo) is actually pronounced like Bear County. Hmmm. Just like the first syllable of Barry, which rhymes with Garry.

Unless good friend Gayry is too scared to tell you you're pronouncing it wrong for fear you'll fuckin' bite his head off.

Diana - Daddy's partly Scottish, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. :/

dead baby angels notwithstanding; with Ace on the raadio -- whoinhell is liveblogging "Hoist the Black Flag"!?!?!

It's for the chiiiildren!!!

"Unless good friend Gayry is too scared to tell you you're pronouncing it wrong for fear you'll fuckin' bite his head off."

Quiet, Butters.

I think it depends on where in the US you live, Ramms. In New York, it was always pronounced like the first two syllables of "gyroscope." Out here in hip, sophisticated Utah, everybody says "yeero," which is closer to the actual Greek pronunciation. In Louisiana, it's pronounced with an umlaut and a sharply falling intonation. Just like "Barry."

Er... I have no idea why I typed in my name as "Michael" up there. Brain blip.

Michael, that's correct

And cherry=marry=kerry=scary=larry=berry=barry=perry=sherry=carry=mary=fairy=nary=bury

thats just the f---ing way it is

an umlaut?! i've got to deal with an umlaut?! i might just have the give up on these gyro things and stick with a good old american food. like pizza

I have no idea why I typed in my name as "Michael" up there.

Butters does not even want to think about it.

This aggression cannot stand.

New Yorkers do NOT pronounce "gyro" like "gyroscope," unless they happen to have been educated in the local public school system. They pronounce it as "GEE-ro" (like 'zero'). Opinions differ, however, on whether a hard 'g' (as in 'goat') or a soft 'g' (like 'January').

Please stop killing baby angels. Please. I'm tearing up a little here thinking about it.

gyro=hero

Bexar county is pronounced "Bear" (or maybe "bayer" is closer), but it's Spanish so I'm not sure it's relevant to the sickening display of mispronunciation that took place in this thread. All my life I had to listen to a bunch of retards from somewhere else tell me how "funny you Texans talk".

Miserable f'n' baby angel killers.

enough...... now lets talk about comcast & thier rates... has anybody recieved drastic bills for ungodly reasons??? and had unwilling customer service ?