Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« Guardian UK: Maybe Bush Was Right | Main | Ka-Ching »
May 04, 2005

Pat O'Brien Thread

Okay, I'm actually meeting a friend for early drinks and then probably late-night drunkeness, so I won't be able to watch this Superbowl of Tearful Confessionals live.

Damn it all. Friends suck.

I have invited a few secret guests to guest live-blog the event for me... I won't say who. I don't even know if they'll accept. But if any of them do, hopefully they'll add a bit of filthy snark to this thread below.

CAUTION: Anyone who clicks to read the extension of this entry is just asking for trouble.

Live-blogging fun has begun. . .


As that black guy said in Superman II, "Man, this is gonna be good."

----------------------

[Dave] Hey everybody, Dave from Garfield Ridge here. Ace threw this shin-dig together at the very last moment, so I may or may not be joined by additional friendly commentators. Since Ace asked me to help out, I must conclude that he started drinking early.

Either way, alone or with others, I plan on bringing you the filthiest nasty-talk this side of the Clinton Administration.

I just hope this works. I really want it badly. I am really just so fucking hot for this to work out.

---
[Dave] I'm watching what amounts to the "pre-game," Entertainment Tonight. I admit, I don't watch American Idol, but after seeing Paula Abdul, I'm waiting for her face to slide off her skull. Seriously, she used to be kinda hot; now she looks like something M.C. Skat Kat dropped.

---
[Allah] I want two things from this freakshow: tears, and a photo of Betsy.

Anything less is a failure.
---
[Allah] Realizing that he's not going to get anything juicy out of Pat, Dr. Phil decides to go to Plan B and just embarrass the shit out of him by making him sit there and listen to the tapes while the camera rolls.

---
[Dave] Quote from Dr. Phil: “You’re talking about “Let’s go get some hookers and some coke and go crazy.”

Man, I need that wav file.

---
[Dave] Pat’s sorry.

Oh well, I was kinda holding out the slim hope that he’d own up to everything and say that if he had to do it all over again, he would.

---
[Dave] Quote from Pat: “Without trust, you are dead in this town.”

You know what else you need in this town? A girl to eat out Betsy. And a Tony Montana-sized mound of Bolivian white.
---
[Dave] A weekend of fun, a weekend of drinking, which turned into craziness. Now, that’s my kind of weekend. Not the kind of weekend I live, but hey, I can live through Pat.

He ties one on during Sunday afternoons. Nice!

“Cocaine trumps everything.”

"I was loaded out of my mind."

---
[Dave] Wow. These poor celebrities really have a lot of drug problems. I’m so glad I’m only high on life. Well, okay—High Life.

Same difference, at least in court.

---
[Allah] Sorry for the momentary glitch. I don't do this for a living.

---
[Allah] They're talking about the Internet now. PLAY THE MASH-UP.

---
[Dave] “On that particular night, I was out of control.”

Dr. Phil doesn’t buy that Pat was drunk. Hey Doc, some people just aren’t sloppy drunks.

4 Glasses of wine, 2 bottles of champagne, a little coke. Fuck, did he forget to take the fish paralyzer?

---
[Dave] Dr. Phil: “What is your opinion of women?”

Pat should have said, I’m so into women, Phil. They make me so fucking hot.

Because they do.

---
[Dave] A half-hour into it. . . Where the fuck is Betsy? I want to see Betsy. I want to fuck Betsy. She makes me so hot. I want to watch Betsy suck Pat’s cock.

For research, of course.

---
[Allah] Dr. Phil wonders if this incident fatally damages Pat's professional judgment, tells Pat to just "wink or nod at me or something" if he agrees.

---
[Allah] They bleeped Betsy's name when the tapes were played, so I doubt we're getting a photo. And the greasy fucker's nowhere near tears. What a debacle.

---
[Allah] Credit to Dr. Phil -- he's not softballing him. He's asking him now about his alleged use of homophobic and racist slurs, which O'B denies, and his long-term drug use.

The teaser for the next clip has Pat talking about his son, so maybe we'll see a few drops after all. C'mon, bitch. Cry.

---
[Dave] Yeah, this is kinda lame. The interview, not the liveblogging-- that kicks ass.

I love how Dr. Phil mentions how people are "outraged."

Bemused, sure. Curious? You bet.

But outrage? Over this? Are you kidding me? Doesn't Dr. Phil know there's a war on?

---
[Allah] CBS won't give us Betsy, but See-Dubya will: here's a photo.

---
[Dave] Wow, thanks See-Dubya, Betsy *is* hot. I am so into Besty. I wish Pat would eat her out right in front of Dr. Phil.

For ratings, of course.

---
[Dave] That’s nice, Dr. Phil spent so long tearing Pat down, I was wondering when he would ever get around to building him back up.

Because if he didn’t, I think Pat was liable to go on a booze-and-coke bender and start calling up Betsy. . . RIGHT THERE IN THE STUDIO!

Sheesh. CBS knows nothing about ratings.

---
[Allah] One of Pat's male producers -- who just might be gay -- is shedding sympathy tears.

---
[Dave] You beat me to the punch, Allah.

Yeah, he might be gay. And I might be a bacon-eating beast of desire. You see where I'm going with this? Do you?

---
[Allah] The teaser for the next segment shows Pat returning to the studio to find a big welcome-back banner that reads, "We're Fucking Crazy For You".

---
[Allah] No, that last item is not true.

Looks like that's a wrap. No tears, no Betsy -- although I thought I saw a glimmer of a smile flash across Pat's face early on when Phil played him the tapes. If you're on the West Coast, watch for it. Grimace or repressed smirk? You make the call.

----
[Dave] Oh well, show’s over. Although they did plug Dr. Phil's show tomorrow, where Pat's supposed to talk about the horrors of withdrawal & rehab. And then give away Pontiacs.

Sorry for all the technical difficulties— you really can’t have two people blogging in the same post. Ace owes you all an apology for setting up this clusterfuck. I hope his appletinis were worth it.

That said, I’d like to thank Allah, who is, as always, a gracious friend, and a benevolent God.

As for the show itself, a little disappointing, but nothing unexpected. Not enough Betsy, not enough hookers and coke, and most certainly, not enough tears.

Me, I’m hoping for a director’s cut. Or at least a decently-edited parody online.

In the meantime, as always, it’s been a pleasure being your host.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

posted by Ace at 04:07 PM
Comments



I hope it's Karol. Karol's cool and let's us stay up late and stuff.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 04:17 PM

I hope it's Allah, because whenever we run out of anything He can create more out of thin air.

Posted by: Blacksheep on May 4, 2005 04:25 PM

I hope its Betsy because, you know, I don't do this for a living.

Posted by: BrewFan on May 4, 2005 04:29 PM

I hope it's Megan. I would love to see her take on the O'Brien thing.

Posted by: Slublog on May 4, 2005 04:31 PM

It'll be Johnny Coldcuts. He's been away for a while, so he's due.

Posted by: Iblis on May 4, 2005 04:35 PM

I'm guessing Hoke and Smitty. Ace has been skipping his meds lately.

Posted by: utron on May 4, 2005 04:36 PM

I hope it's not gonna happen. Nothing can top the liveblogging I missed on the Rosie the Retard thread, and I don't want to miss another great event.

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 04:37 PM

It'll be Jeff and Bill. That oughta get the adjectives flowing around here.
I likes me some adjectives.

Posted by: lauraw on May 4, 2005 04:37 PM

"Rosie Red Palms" isn't a friend you meet for drinks Ace.

Posted by: fat kid on May 4, 2005 04:39 PM

it'll be Malkin....this sounds right up her alley

i kid, i kid

Posted by: brak on May 4, 2005 04:40 PM

I hope it'll be Cedarford. Because he's so damn smooth.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 04:53 PM

If you're a classy guy like Ace, of course you take Rosy Red for drinks. It helps the night go smoothly when your date's inhibitions are lowered.

Posted by: Iblis on May 4, 2005 04:55 PM

I say it will have to be Bill O'Reilly and Marv Albert. No one has the right to make comments unless they have been there you chickenhawks.

Posted by: Dman on May 4, 2005 04:56 PM

lauraw wrote: "It'll be Jeff and Bill..."

lol! I like it! A flame thread too! Just like the POB haiku thread!

Posted by: BrewFan on May 4, 2005 06:38 PM

What time is this trainwreck due to take place, anyhow?

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 07:22 PM

Slub, it's not me.

Posted by: Megan on May 4, 2005 07:23 PM

Damnit people. there's a war on and shit.

Posted by: on May 4, 2005 07:28 PM

What happens when Ace goes out with Rosy and Val-U-Rite Vodka Click

Posted by: Iblis on May 4, 2005 07:33 PM

There's a war on.

Well, yeah, I know. It intrudes on every waking moment.

I'll be in the bathroom taking my daily squeege and perusing the latest issue of Juggs and I'll think, "How can I sit here with a boobie rag taking a dump while there's a war on?" And yet...I need to crap, and a little light reading somehow eases the process.

Or I'll be posting to a zombie thread on some website I visit occasionally, and I'll think, "How can I think about zombies when there's a war on?" But zombie classification is a fairly abstruse topic, and if I don't contribute, who will?

And sometimes I think, "Wouldn't it be weird if I picked up some hooker and we got going with her on top and I thought, How can I have a whore on when there's a war on?"

'Cause, you know, I'm sensitive and I think about shit like that when there's a war on.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 07:36 PM

Monty, it's on CBS at 8:00 pm (7:00 Central, no doubt).

Posted by: Sean M. on May 4, 2005 07:36 PM

Sean,

Well, I'm gonna miss it. The Twins are on tonight, and I take baseball over Pat O'Brien any day. I'll follow along with the live-blogging, though.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 07:41 PM

Don't call him Chris

Posted by: Iblis on May 4, 2005 07:42 PM

Stupid link button!
Don't call this guy Chris

Posted by: Iblis on May 4, 2005 07:44 PM

Once again the west coasties don't get to join in any reindeer fun. Screw you all.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 07:44 PM

All this time I was thinking Ray was a boy of the South.

Posted by: Lipstick Dynamite on May 4, 2005 07:49 PM

Was until a few years ago, Dynamite. Now let me venture a guess. England?

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 07:53 PM

Nice to see competent hand at the helm.

Oh, its Dave? Oh, well, good luck with that anyway, Dave-o.

West coast time sucks balls sometimes Ray (chicken sodomizer).

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 07:57 PM

Hey, penguinfucker. You mentioned you went to school in MI on another thread. Me too. Where bouts? If you don't wanna say outloud here, just shoot me an email.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 08:00 PM

Wav file--why didn't you say so? Comin' up. Check your email in two minutes.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:04 PM

Ray, England? I lived there awhile and picked up the habit of reading The Spectator and Private Eye. It's fun to go back and visit, but I live in So. Cal.

You?

Posted by: Lipstick Dynamite on May 4, 2005 08:13 PM

Oh, shit. My latest update somehow swallowed Dave's. Dave, can you repost your stuff?

Posted by: Allah on May 4, 2005 08:14 PM

AND Allah just erased Dave's commentary.

This is great. I haven't seen this level of professionalism since Ace was first on the radio.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:15 PM

Complete accident. The loosest of loose shit on my part.

Posted by: Allah on May 4, 2005 08:16 PM

Monty: your bathroom reverie puts you in exalted company. I remember that after his capture, Saddam Hussein refused a glass of water, saying, “Well, if I take that glass of water, I will have to urinate; and if I have to urinate, I will have to go to the bathroom; and how can I possibly go to the bathroom when my people are enslaved?" There's a man who knows that there's a war on!

Posted by: Wanda on May 4, 2005 08:17 PM

LD: Michigan to AZ to Seattle. Nice to see another west coaster. This blog needs a little more of us. Help shifts the center of gravity a little away from NY and all

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 08:19 PM

Wanda: not enslaved, but in "Bondage", remember? ;)

Posted by: Greg on May 4, 2005 08:22 PM

Wanda:

Yeah, but Saddam didn't have access to the kinds of easy-reading sleaze I have access to. And I'm not just talking about The New Yorker or Harper's here...I mean good stuff like Juggs or Top Hat or Gent. There may be a war on, but Americans know how to do things properly.

I dunno. Maybe Saddam's jailers took pity on him and gave him a "bare boobie" issue of National Geo or something. It's better than nothing.

And let me add to the "loose shit!" cacaphony, Dave and Allah. Loose shit indeed!

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 08:22 PM

Backup, backup, backup.

A helpful habit I learned back when I was on that crap Blogger.

Loose shit, indeed.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on May 4, 2005 08:23 PM

Dave just erased some of my stuff and then I erased some of his. Sigh. This isn't so much loose shit as it is diarrhea.

Dave: please re-post.

Posted by: Allah on May 4, 2005 08:23 PM

Tough crowd here.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:24 PM

Ray, At least we'll be able to read the comments on the Pat O'Brien thing and decide whether it's worth the time to actually watch it. So we do have that advantage.

I actually listened to it today for the first time. Wow, that man is a smooooth talker with the ladies.

Posted by: Lipstick Dynamite on May 4, 2005 08:24 PM

Hi Dave Allah, I see you're trying to POST. Would you like some help?

Posted by: Clippy on May 4, 2005 08:26 PM

ray, even though you hate penguins, it's nice to know that you, too as a fellow PacNWer miss out on the eastcoast crap.

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 08:28 PM

Let me also take this opportunity to promote Ace's comeback medley, by yours truly, which features many quotes from Pat O'Brien as well as Christopher Walken (as Bruce Dickinson) and Mr. Paul Anka, with a special appearance by the Lightning Bolt guy.

It's available here: http://ace.mu.nu/archives/074891.php

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:30 PM

Hob: What's the deal. Is your MI info a state secret, babe. Bust loose with. Won't tell a soul. Promise.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 08:30 PM

Just grew up there. Detroit (near, but closer than the white-trash poser Eminem)

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 08:31 PM

Allah, you silly boy, how's this?

You have to be into Betsy.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:35 PM

Detroit, huh? Born in Detroit myself, spent a little time round 9-mile. Found that whole city soft. Knew I needed to streets of a city like Flint to challenge me, get my game tough. Worked (obviously). Detroit's nice though.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 08:37 PM

That's definitely her, Allah. Here's some corroboration, in an article that suggests more tapes are yet to emerge:

Pat's 3-way calling

Hello! More voice mail is coming back to haunt Pat O'Brien.

Following last week's recordings of the "Insider" host proposing a threesome to a lady he found "so [bleeping] hot," another woman has let us listen to messages she says O'Brien and his girlfriend Betsy Stephens left on her cell phone.

Our source says she introduced herself to O'Brien at the Four Seasons hotel here on March 12, because she's a "big fan." After sharing a drink with the fun couple, she says, she gave them her cell number and bid them goodbye.

It wasn't long, she says, before they were inviting her and another woman up to their room: "Hi, it's Betsy. We're in 3412. Just wondering where you guys went."

O'Brien is said to have called later saying, "We're waiting for you....Call us, call us, [bleeping] call us."

Our source, who took a pass, says there was no explicit sex talk. As for the mash calls O'Brien allegedly made to another woman, she says, "Everybody has their moments."

This week's National Enquirer quotes Stephens as saying, "I've never engaged in sex with another woman - and never would."

But the tab says she confirmed that O'Brien proposed a ménage à trois to another woman in front of her, adding, "That is the reason I left him and returned to our hotel alone."

A spokesman for O'Brien said he couldn't reach the "Insider" host, who is now in rehab, for comment.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:39 PM

9 mile and gratiot?

cuz that's my neighborhood for 18 years

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 08:41 PM

See-Dubya:

She's a decent-looking chick, but for some reason that huge crucifix she was wearing seemed a bit...out of place...given what transpired with Pat.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 08:41 PM

I was in Northville for a couple years (that's 9 mile right?). Kinda young though. Can't remember much bout.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 08:43 PM

1/2 way to ann arbor isn't really detroit, ray. I'm an eastside guy myself

313 in the house!

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 08:46 PM

I wonder how Betsy would feel about the Almighty Hammer of Thor, because Thor's hammer would sure like to be into her. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 08:49 PM

Hell, 313 covered Flint back in my day. Don't come in here with that 313 shit, talking bout Detroit. Crazy talk.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 08:49 PM

Are you guys getting "into Betsy" or something now? Cause I'm not seeing enough live blogging here to justify the cover charge.

Posted by: See-Dub on May 4, 2005 08:50 PM

ray,

lol

Back when I was a whippersnapper, the whole damn state had ONE area code, and you used to have to tap it out on the sephamore . . .

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 08:51 PM

Allah-- is it a black guy? Because there were accusations that he used to call a gay black male producer of one of his shows "fruit monkey"--to his face.

Posted by: See-Dub on May 4, 2005 08:54 PM

Let's remember also that Pat O'Brien studied graduate-level international economics at Johns Hopkins.

Just for context.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 08:55 PM

See-Dubya, it's a white guy. A real pasty-faced white guy.

All shapes and sizes, I guess.

As for the liveblogging, sorry for the fizzle. Ace's software isn't really conducive to doing this all in one post.

I place the blame squarely on you, the readers.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on May 4, 2005 08:58 PM

Because there were accusations that he used to call a gay black male producer of one of his shows "fruit monkey"--to his face.

That Pat O'Brien is all about class and being into Betsy. A true moral giant among obscene phone-callers.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 08:58 PM

Dave...really.....good Lord.

Here is my serious take. This is a man with serious problems. This rehab thing is all for show. My brother is an alcoholic. I know sorrow and I know B.S. This is B.S.

He is enduring all this to get his job back and get some PR. He would go back to doing everything he was doing tomorrow if he could get away with it. And I am betting he is back to a lot of as soon as he feels he CAN get away with it.

This is a sad pathetic man. THAT is who Pat O'Brien is. There is only one way for redemption for this guy, and it aint work or rehab. And that is just the truth.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on May 4, 2005 08:59 PM

Back in your day? Back in MY day MI had only one phone. In Lansing, it was. Belonged to a Mrs. McGregor. Mean. She'd let you use it, but you couldn't come in the house. Had to stand outside near a window (even in the rain!) and she'd stretch it out to you. Line to use it would back up to Niles on the weekends.

Now, don't give me any of that 'back in my day' young un.

Posted by: Ray Midge on May 4, 2005 09:00 PM

Guys like this end up dying of autoertoic asphyxiation, or by allowing some groupie to shoot them up with speedballs.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 09:06 PM

Well, apart from the loose shit early on, the whole thing came off okay. I give it a low B -- not your fault, but I was really into Betsy.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 09:08 PM

Dude--the technical problems were nothing. This was fun. I just enjoyed a chance to lean back and give you guys what for for a change.

Posted by: See-Dubya on May 4, 2005 09:08 PM

A minus.

mostly for effort.

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 4, 2005 09:13 PM

I totally threw cold water on this thread, didn't I?

Sorry guys...;-(

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on May 4, 2005 09:24 PM

I dunno Mister Sparkle, I think you hit the nail on the head.

Except that my pity engine is all outta whack, and for once, I'd rather *not* feel sorry for EVERY person who fucks up their life.

Just this once, I think I'm going to sit back and laugh at their expense.

Betsy would have wanted it this way.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on May 4, 2005 09:26 PM

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPARKLE=GIRL!!!

CLICK ON THE LINK SOMETIME....VERY GIRLY!!!!!

GIRL, GIRL, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME=GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on May 4, 2005 09:33 PM

So, let me get this straight, RWS--you're some kind of girly-man?

Posted by: Sean M. on May 4, 2005 09:40 PM

rightwingsparkle,

I think I speak for everyone here when I say that Dave has a longstanding crack-habit that we've learned to factor into any posts he makes. So when you see "Mister Rightwingsparkle" you have to interpret that as "holy jumping Christ when is Lorenzo going to show up with my rock?" We love Dave, but he has issues.

I've seen your picture on your site, and I have to say that the operation was clearly very successful. You hardly look like a man at all any more.

We'll speak with Dave about it.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 09:42 PM

RWS: needless to say, i kid, i kid. You are a lovely flower of southern womanhood. A truth verily spoken from the North Star State to the Lone Star State.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 09:43 PM

OMG, excuse me, MISS Sparkle. Honest mistake, really. I just kinda assumed that Ace scared all his women readers away months ago.

But after having seen your photo, I must let you know: I am so into you right now.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

P.S. Oh, BTW, you know what looks great under you photo? A blogroll link to Garfield Ridge. It's this spring's must-have accessory.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on May 4, 2005 09:48 PM

Dave,

You need to get some Atlanta Rhythm Section on the CD player, dude.

When you walked into the room There was voodoo in the vibes I was captured by your style But I could not get your eyes Now I stand here helplessly Hoping you'll get into me

I am so into you
I can't think of nothing else
I am so into you
I can't think of nothing else
Thinkin' how it's gonna be
Whenever I get you next to me
It's gonna be good
Don't you know
From your head to toe
Gonna love you all over
Over and over
Me into you, you into me
Me into you

I'm so into you
I'm so into you...

I am deeply ashamed of myself for not coming up with this sooner.

Posted by: Monty on May 4, 2005 09:54 PM

Megan = sorry it wasn't you...but Allah and Dave - great job.

Posted by: Slublog on May 4, 2005 10:29 PM

I am so sorry I had practice tonight and missed this glorious event, praise Allah and Dave glory be unto their names (hey, Dave means "beloved of God" so it fits).

It's nice to be a Dave.


Or as HAL said, "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that"

like I haven't said that a time or two.

what were we talking about?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on May 4, 2005 11:32 PM

I dunno Mister Sparkle, I think you hit the nail on the head.

Posted by: lauraw on May 4, 2005 11:57 PM

Dammit. Hold on. I'll git it.

"I dunno Mister Sparkle, I think you hit the nail on the head."

You bastid.
I just had to call you on that. Baiting. Wrong.
OK.
I go sleep now.

Posted by: lauraw on May 5, 2005 12:00 AM

Boy, this thread sure cooled off fast. I mean, where's the gay-baiting? Why isn't anybody calling anybody else a retard? Nary an accusation of someone being a "slimey Zionist pig"?

Loose shit, people.

Posted by: Sean M. on May 5, 2005 12:10 AM

I hate to make an appearance unless it's absolutely necessary, but Sean's intemperate comments have forced my hand.

Sean, in his need for constant stimulation and excitement, has obviously been watching far too much television. As everyone knows, the business end of television is controlled by the Zionists, and the entertainment end is controlled by the homosexual lobby.

The television has made you addicted to instant gratification. It's sad, really, to watch someone fall into the grip of those who do not have the best interests of the United States in mind.

What a retard.

Posted by: Semi-Pseudoford on May 5, 2005 12:18 AM

Thank you, kind homo-fag.

(See, that's what I'm talking about!)

Posted by: Sean M. on May 5, 2005 12:24 AM

Betsy is OK, but yikes, is that other woman the one he was propositioning?

Posted by: someone on May 5, 2005 01:07 AM

"But after having seen your photo, I must let you know: I am so into you right now."

Yeah but, the lower edge of that photo is cropped a little high. I mean, even the Flower of Southern Womanhood could have shared just a little bit more.

Posted by: Tsunami Victin on May 5, 2005 01:57 AM

There is a war on, so it's up to us to drink and fuck as much as possible.

I know when I was over there the first time, the one thing that was on our minds was killing as many of the enemy as possible as quickly as possible so we could return to the land of cold beer and limitless sex. That is what the average infantryman fights for.

When the 101st rotates back, send porn.

Posted by: SGT Dan on May 5, 2005 09:27 AM

Rightwingwparkle - I think the reasons for which you are so often being mistaken as someone of the male, albeit gay, persuasion are the strong and direct points you make along with the clear and concise wording you use to back up your ideas. And then there's that old thread, I cannot recall which, where Ace said you had a really big penis. Er, maybe it was a giant set of balls. *shrugs*

Posted by: compos mentis on May 5, 2005 10:00 AM

Yes, there is a war on.

Instapundit does it again.

Posted by: Slublog on May 5, 2005 10:07 AM

I always liked Mr Sparkle

http://www.actionfig.com/simpsons/mr_sparkle.html

Posted by: brak on May 5, 2005 10:22 AM

I think the reasons for which you are so often being mistaken as someone of the male, albeit gay, persuasion are the strong and direct points you make along with the clear and concise wording you use to back up your ideas.

Sigh.
You're killing me. I'm like, dying a little bit every fucking time I read that comment.

Posted by: lauraw on May 5, 2005 10:39 AM

lauraw - That comment was meant to ilicit emotion and response from the women, but it was meant to fan some flames, not douse the embers. God knows my wife can argue circles around me so fast that I get dizzy. Thanks for the laugh.

Posted by: compos mentis on May 5, 2005 11:07 AM

I musta missed Ace saying that about me. (Thank God)

Ya'lls lovely compliments are certainly more than enough compensation for the sarcastic and demeaning ones....Thanks guys! *smooch*.........;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on May 5, 2005 12:52 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
It happened one summer, it happened one time
It happened forever, for a short time
A place for a moment, an end to dream
Forever I loved you, forever it seemed
One summer never ends, one summer never began
It keeps me standing still, it takes all my will
An Update about Grammie Winger:
She is doing poorly...she is in the hospital and is having a tough go of it. She would love to hear from you folks, so anyone who would like to contact her is welcome to her address! Please contact Bluebell at moroncookbook@gmail.com for her contact info. (I expect her local post office to be furious with us!)
[CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD commiserate about the NYC primaries and whether the contagion will spread, J.D. Vance is becoming a cypher, Texas Antifa gets a wake-up call, and more!
Trump will present the trophy for the World Cup, and lunatic cultists will not be happy
pRiDe Month's shameful record so far
Department of Energy Announces American Nuclear Supply Chain Loans
$17.5B is a good start. Now add two zeroes to that number! [CBD]
Paul Sperry
@paulsperry_

NEW: Just heard something extraordinary from a former White House official who worked with former National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster in Trump45's NSC: "McMaster had weekly phone calls with George Soros. We have no idea why." Neither could be reached for comment.
Deport...Deport...Deport The F***ing Lot! A new UK anthem? [Hat Tip: S.E.] [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton dissect the Iran treaty but praise the great U.S. military, decry the deep state's influence on SAVE and FISA, talk marijuana and guns, mock the Northeast's racism, and Go Knicks!
Trump: Ukraine War 'Thousands of Miles Away' is 'Nothing to Do' with America Russia isn't threatening to kill Americans! [CBD]
Recent Comments
Warai-otoko: "As best as I can tell, the upshot of the "logic" o ..."

Ben Had: "People's Hippo, all worthy and doable. Status ..."

Martini Farmer: "I think the legislature is a lost cause... becomin ..."

...: "It’s counterintuitive, but there’s a c ..."

Ordinary American: "58 I really liked J.D., read his book, love his st ..."

Skip: "Marxists don't do what the people want, they do wh ..."

r hennigantx: "NPR Retracts False Story Saying Justice Alito Was ..."

NaCly Dog: "People's Hippo Voice Good plan. Defunding the ..."

Jaimo: "61 - I agree with you. Poor JD drew the short str ..."

[/b][/i][/u][/s]I used to have a different nic: "[i]And you can immediately tell who is not serious ..."

People's Hippo Voice: "The Restore America Agenda: - End the filibuste ..."

...: "We only need to get to about 260 to be where Engla ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives