Haha...the "B--- off in your face" line was one of the funniest, I thought. I mean, he knew she was into him, so he wanted to go for the moneyshot

You knew that's what he was saying?

How come no one corrected me?

Damnit, that's gold.

I knew it too. I'm pretty sure that line is in the mash-up, actually.

Ok, that was disgusting and Sick. I couldn't even listen to most of it.
I have to go take a shower now. YUCK!!!!!! and EWWWW!!!!

RWS,

Since you listened, you might as well download the "Hello" remix, too.

Finally broke down and listened to it.

That dude is a sweet talkin' Casinova!

So that I don't have to put forth the effort , can someone tip me as to the woman toward whom his loaded up horniness is directed?

Good question, CM. I don't think Pat's stalkee has been identified.

Well, if she has a tape on his machine saying "yes" 3 or 4 times, shes is BUSTED.

Ace, I will not.

I have a habit of learning my lesson the first time around....;-)

I've wondered about the mystery callee too. Wasn't she the source for the tape? If so, passing them to the media has to be one of the most elegant acts of revenge ever, and I'd hate to see it compromised by revealing her identity. But I haven't even heard any entertaining speculation.

Of course, there may be no Mystery Girl at all. Maybe Pat was just desperate, looking for somebody, anybody, who'd go crazy with him and pay attention to Betsy. He could have been calling Directory Assistance. Or Pizza Hut.

RWS, listen to the mashup. It is artful mockery of the Pat O'Brien thing. If you heard O'Brien already, this will not offend you.

I dunno, all my masher calls never seem to come off (so to speak) quite like I intended. They always seem to go this way:

*RING*
She: "Hello?"
Me: "Hey, sweet thing. (Heavy breathing.) You know what I want?"
She: "Is this a sales call?"
Me: "What? No! I mean...what are you wearing right now?"
She: "Are you trying to sell me clothes?"
Me: "No! I mean...well, are you looking? 'Cause my ex is trying to get rid of some of her old stuff and lots of those clothes are like brand new and...wait. Let me start over."
She: "Who is this?"
Me: "I wanna get with you, baby!"
She: "What? I couldn't hear you. The T.V. is on. You want what now?"
Me: "You! You!"
She: "Me what?"
Me: "Look, aren't you looking for some excitement?"
She: "Is this one of those timeshare deals? Because if it is, I don't want one. George and I did that last year and it was a complete rip-off."
Me: "Well, actually, time-shares are a lousy investment, so you're better off.... But to get back on point, are you naked?"
She: "What? You'll have to speak up."

...and so on. It's a grim spectacle, let me tell you.

That was you?

RWS,

You already heard all the bad stuff. The Hello parody just takes some of it and hilariously weaves it into a sappy Lionel Ritchie ballad.

Come on. You know you want to.

This really shouldn't be so repeatedly funny.

Yet it IS. So funny it makes me go fuckin' craaazy.

I don't know why I'm like this. I don't do this for a living.

Is Ace trying to tempt me???????

Ace: Telling a woman she has to do your girlfriend is not a "sexy pick-up line." Unless, of course, you're trying to pick up Rosie.

Telling a woman she has to do your girlfriend is not a "sexy pick-up line.

Considering the kind of women Pat is into, I doubt this would be a problem.

It reminds me of that scene in "Office Space" where Lawrence tells Peter that if he had a million dollars, he'd "do" two women at one time. Peter tells him that not all girls are into money, and Lawrence replies, "The kind of chicks who'll double up on a guy like me are!"

I got the impression that O'Brien got across the fact that he had wood in his first few messages; but in later ones it sounded like he was just reading off a checklist in his mind. "I want to, uh, @#$% your #$%^; and, uh, get #%^^ crazy, and, hmm... oh yeah! #$#^ on your #%^& #%&&*". (I'm paraphrasing.) Later on it seemed like he was thinking more about teh p0wder.