Oh yeah, this story is a must-read.

Free Testiclese !!

The prospect of public readings from P-Monologues on campuses around the country just might be the reductio ad absurdum that could drive the vagina warriors to the bargaining table. The student activists opposed to V-Day will gladly cancel P-Day the moment the V-warriors abandon their vagina–fests.

Great attempt at direct action, but let's see how it all ends.

The College Republicans must stand firm, even if met with stiff resistance from administrators.

I just wish the campus authorities had come down equally hard on the "V-Day" crowd. Seeing a bunch of earnest young college women standing around yelling "Free Vagina!" would brighten up my whole day.

For all the talk and sponsored workshops and official symposia and annual festivals, I'm guessing that students at these idiot PC schools never actually get laid.

Get over it, hippie gals: no matter how many Vagina Empowerment Art Fairs the Womyn's Studies Department holds at the Union, no self-respecting Sig Eps man is going anywhere near your smelly cootch.

Looks like campus authorities have lost touch with their heritage. From Gurunet:

Williams, Roger 1603?–1683.

English cleric in America. After being expelled from Massachusetts for his criticism of Puritanism, he founded Providence (1636), a community based on religious freedom and democratic ideals, and obtained a royal charter for Rhode Island in 1663.

You have to respect anybody who gets expelled from Massachusetts.

Utron:

Huh huh huh! You said "hard" and then you said "on". Ah-huh huh huh!

Plus the story was about dicks and stuff, so it was like double-funnay.

Look I like to hang around and talk about my penis as much as the next guy (mine is curious and helpful among other things) and this does seem like a worthwhile and educational event that can help "bridge the gap" between the v-warriors and the p-warriors. But, I think we should all be ashamed of ourselves for wasting time worrying about each others genitalia when there is a war on, dammit.

I get confused with penis's and mushrooms all the time too.

I get confused with penis's and mushrooms all the time too.

I don't. I hate mushrooms.

I get confused with penis's and mushrooms all the time too.

NOBODY TOUCH THIS! RWS is a lady. And besides, it would just be too easy.

I think the P-Day activists should take the comparison a little further and do a skit where an adult homo or bisexual trash seduces a teenage boy (or both a boy and girl), just like in the V monologues. And then they all celebrate the "liberation and progress" of it.

It could be a Catholic homo priest too, a lovely re-enactment of how homos liberate their p*'s and sexuality with adolescents...

It would be so nice to see P Day activism spread all over the country and if they were censored, that they would go to court for discrimination.

What is sad about human beings is that there are a ton of issues with violence against women and girls, and the female body, but what do you get as activism against that? A bunch of female homos promoting homo sexual abuse of girls as liberation, that is, they try to take on the role that they complain about in men for themselves. Which is true for a lot of homos of both sexes.

Although I quite like Ace HQ because it's quite sharp on many issues, and many double standards like this one, sexual objetification of women is one issue where most guys here are as dense and as bad as the reverse coin V monologues.

Either you get these lesbiunn turds or the sexist locker-room guys. Sigh.

rightwingsparke:

You will never know how mightily I struggled before deciding not to come back to your comment with a reply that was profane and juvenile in equal parts (but funny!). You must not lob soft pitches at me like that for I am tempted to knock them out of the park.

Alessandra:

When we use the word "funderdome" or "pooter", please understand that we do it with the greatest of love and respect. When we call our weeners "thighPods", though, we do it because it's funny.

I've always said that having a lot of pet names for something is a signal that it is well-loved.

MY PENIS IS A PERSON!

Even "cooter fumes", I think, speaks to the dignity of the female experience. We're not all insensitive blockheads, you know!

'hawk lives!

I just wrote them a letter about stifling speech and gender classifications. I said it's fruitless to try to keep the penis down. Long live the penis! The longer the better. And if they are going to keep jerking the penis around, at least they could show some pretence of fairness and stick it to the vaginas.

Here is Provost Edward Kavanagh's email address:
EKAVANAGH@RWU.EDU

And here is President Roy Nirschel's email address: RNIRSCHEL@RWU.EDU

Although I quite like Ace HQ because it's quite sharp on many issues, and many double standards like this one, sexual objetification of women is one issue where most guys here are as dense and as bad as the reverse coin V monologues.

Kind of nonsense, I think. I don't think it "objectifies" women to note that many of them are kind of hot.

I should be so lucky to be objectified like that.

I don't know what the complaint is, really. Men and women are essentially different species, and our various negotiations are like the halting first-contact protocols between space-aliens from different worlds.

The only thing that keeps us tolerating each other is sexual/romantic attraction.

Yes, in the workplace and all, we should be equals and all that; but this isn't the workplace. I mean, the Ace of Spades blog is not an Excel spreadsheet you're working on, after all.

Either you get these lesbiunn turds or the sexist locker-room guys. Sigh.

There are also sexist locker-room lesbiens, like Megan.

Celebrate diversity.

I missed the Rosietardfest05, but I'm glad I made it for this:

monocle optional

classic, ace. that's all time.

my new slogan?

"My Penis is Majestic"

I just hope Testiclees gets a happy ending when this is done.

All right, Officer, I'll come quietly.

Hey, I haven't even posted in this damn thread, how the hell did I get in the middle of this?

This is sort of like how the affirmative action cookie sales were treated. Individuals in the White male oppressor class had to pay 1.00 per cookie, so did Asian men, but women paid 50 cents and blacks only 25 cents. At many campuses, these sales were shut down as "disruptive" or "racist". All while "oppressed" peoples were given complete freedom to slam white males at their rallies and fundraisers.

So we have this cult of victimhood that says one group is bona fide victims and the other the oppressor class, and colleges make their judgements on who fits their preconceived notions of who is a victim, and entitled to whine with demands for Vagina Day or slavery reparations, and those (whites, asians) who aren't.

Double standards drive people and society nuts. It's even applied to nations, where in Europe the Palestinians are such noble victims they can do no wrong - whereas in American many believe Israel is so noble through the past oppression of Jews that Israel itself cannot be criticized.

I think this whole cult of victimhood crap needs to be deligitimized, and Americans free to criticize and support any group they want based on facts.

sexual objetification of women is one issue where most guys here are as dense and as bad as the reverse coin V monologues.

As a serial sexual objectivist, I would like to make a small point and defend the impolite concept of lust by pointing out it gets the job done. It ain't really, really respecting her or 'valuing her personhood' that stiffens the penis of any known mammel and continues the species.

The problems arise when it's the only thing a guy can feel about women. But damn, let's not forget how useful and necessary it is too. (ok, sorry for this boring comment, always feel the need to say something when women decry men's sexual drives as outmoded boorishness)

Fuck women.

Whoops. Megan and Cedarford are both here. Time to duck and cover.

It's good to see that Cedarford is off his medication again. For a very brief while he made some statements that seemed close to sensible. As to P-day vs. V-day, I must truly laud the young lads and lasses for attempting to publicize acedemic hypocrisy. It won't go anywhere, but at least they made the effort, and in a humourous ( albeit indecorous) manner. Ku-fucking-dos.

I wish hot chicks would objectify me....more often, that is. Yeah, more often.

I had a girlfriend in college who got her thrills objectifying me. She was deathly afraid of "hide the penis" but just could-not-wait-one-moment to start objectifying me when the roomie wasn't around. I kinda knew I might be living in a dreamworld but the sledgehammer of reality has cracked my skull everyday for 20 years since I awoke to find out that hardly any women objectify men, that in fact they screw up their faces in disgust when asked to objectify their man.

I'm getting a mushroom from my sadness. I just don't feel like a person right now.

I agree with Ray.

Yes, women are people too and all of that, and yes, they're interesting and unique creatures who must be appreciated in their full personhood and blah blah blah...

...but people don't hook up with each other because they both agree that Marcel Proust is too prolix.

As Oscar Wilde *meant* to say, the only thing worse than being sexually objectified is *not* being sexually objectified.

Next week, on CBS:

Riding the short bus with my penis. The Pee Wee Herman story.

Too much, too much. Too many words.

Look: it's easy.

Fuck. Women.

There. See? Two word. Fuck 'em. To hell with them. See how they like it when they spend hundreds of dollars shaving, waxing, lasering, powdering, painting, glossing, and buffing, and no one fucking cares.

Boo hoo, someone was attracted to you.

You feel so VICTAMAHZEDED!

Fuck you.

Bitch.

Are we all fuckin' clear now?

Megan: posing the eternal conundrum.

Misogynist l3sbian, or bitter man posing as one.

(j/k, bucko)

Don't you shave Megan?

Ewwwww.

I mean, I figured to "love' women, one would love women that are modestly well-groomed and dipilitated. Are you into the hairy bizzez, Megan?

"yes, they're interesting and unique creatures who must be appreciated in their full personhood"

On the contrary Ace: women, like 99.99% of all human beings regardless of gender, are extraordinarily boring and exhibit a broad (heh), boring, bland sameness in their "personhood."

Frankly, women's breasts are more unique than their personalities. I can't remember which of my first five girlfriends liked Proust, but I can damn sure remember which one had the nicest tits.

So screw 'em. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I'm tremendously sorry Megan. When you wrote "Fuck women" , I thought it was a command.

No dude, that'd mean fewer for me.

I think Ace is confusing "pooter" and "cooter."

Which a lot of women don't like, even if you tell them that "it just slipped."

Hobgob -

"Don't you shave Megan?"

Now that's one thing you're never going to find out for sure.

:P

Hobgob -

Now that's one thing you're never going to find out for sure.

:P

Seriously, I hate the French and I hate hippies, and I hate hair in general too. One of the (many, many) reasons I could never even begin to imagine sleeping with a man. Bleah.

I have to kiss my dad on the forehead if it's later in the evening and he has the faintest hint of stubble. I'm freaky about stuff like that. ("Freaky" is the technical term we psychologists use. Laymen refer to such behavior as O/CD.)

And I don't love women. I hate them. I'm just attracted to them. Doesn't mean I love them, Christ, don't you know they all have cooties? Jeez.

Plus they're all fucking crazy. What, did you spend most of your life as a faggot so I'm just having to explain this to you now?

GUYS!!!!!!! The mushroom comment was a JOKE...DUH!

If you READ THE ARTICLE you would understand it.
The university provost thought the big penis was a mushroom. Get it?? huh? do ya?????..;-)

Geeze. Mention penis in a post and guys lose all sense of the thought process. I'm shocked (uhh. not)

aaah

ACE! Dude, see, I keep telling you we need a message board so I can edit out my dumb(er) mistakes!

Megan, you're one weird cat.

LOL

And RWS, it was the mention of cooters, not peckers, that was the catalyst for the loss of cognitive functioning.

But if you are associating mushrooms and penii, maybe you need to, um, call Enzyt3 for the hubbo

hobgoblin:

But if you are associating mushrooms and penii, maybe you need to, um, call Enzyt3 for the hubbo

Low blow, hob. Your penance is a head-knock with a salad fork and a good swift kick in the shin. Go your way and sin no more.

Now we must all sing along in a chorus of All Penises are beautiful in their own way. After which there will be a showing of Caged Heat complete with free popcorn.

RWS:

Dear sweet flower of Southern womanhood, we read the article. You simply do not appreciate the base nature of the male mind (well, mine anyway). Consider the ramifications of the fact that you said you get confused with, rather than by, penises and mushrooms. "All the time," no less. Use your imagination. Try to pretend you're some kind of perv. Throw in the fact that some mushrooms are hallucinogens. And so on.

Monty's right -- the jokes just write themselves.

Wow.

Now, THAT was refreshing (thread).

~;-D

I think Ace is confusing "pooter" and "cooter."

Which a lot of women don't like, even if you tell them that "it just slipped."

Alex, that is hilarious.

Oh, and true too.

Yes, women are people too and all of that, and yes, they're interesting and unique creatures who must be appreciated in their full personhood and blah blah blah...

Ahhhhhh....you can just FEEL the sensitivity!

;)

Later,
bbeck

The more I read stuff like this, the more it seems that all this right wing anger all comes from you guys not getting laid.

At all.

Just goes to show that conservatives haven't had a new idea since they started paying for women, rather than clubbing them.

bbeck:

I'll be sensitive later on. Now get in the kitchen and make me a sammitch. Extra mayo, lettuce, no tomatoes. And make sure the beer is already open when you bring it to me; that way you won't have to make two trips.

hobgob -

What can I say, I'm drinking, I've been up for a little over 2 days now, and I'm still watching South Park, which I just discovered last month.

Cartman rules.

"That's a bad - that's a BAD three-toed sloth!"
"Eric, for God's sake knock it off!"
"RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"

Some dickless douche who calls himself Tom, and who will die a virgin, whined: "conservatives haven't had a new idea since they started paying for women, rather than clubbing them"

And it just goes to show you how well that supposedly brilliant idea worked.

All right gentlemen. Break out the fuckin' clubs again.

PS. I've felt a metric ton more boobies than you ever have or will, buttwipe.

Monty, hon, I always open the beer first. That way I can rub the rim on the dog's wanker before I bring it in.

Later,
bbeck

My new slogan: "My Penis is Titanic!"

Which isn't a lie, cause cold water really does a number on it....

Jack M - that is tooo funny

bbeck:

I thought that last beer tasted funny, but then again, you had to cheap-out and buy frigging Black Label, so who can tell?

Plus you didn't get the good mustard either; must I specify Gulden's when I ask for a good sandwich mustard and not that pissyellow French's crap? And you didn't cut the crusts off the sandwich before you brought it and you didn't fold my undies the last time you did the laundry. And when's the last time you vacuumed the floor wearning a negligee like that chick on the TV commercial?

Now, I'm a tolerant man, but this is just going too far. All I asked is a properly-opened (and non-dog-fouled) beer, a properly-made sandwich, and complete fiat over each and every household decision, no matter how large or small. In return I shall show you the Seven Hidden Secrets of Bliss, which I got off this mail-order guy who advertises on the Fishing Channel. Something to do with HERBAL VIAGRA. (This guy sounded eerily like Dave of Garfield Ridge....)

Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk

What are you, a chick?

10 words.

So a bunch of Young Republicans are going to pass out penis suckers? I guess that is way more progressive than thier usual shtick of conning old people out of their SS check so we can reelect the Dear Leader.

Now now, Monty, that's not fair. That was perfectly good mustard. The dog just added to THAT taste, too.

And I distinctly recall vacuuming in my black negligee and my spike hip boots. You liked it so much you bit off the garter straps, remember? And man, did we ever go through that tub of creamy peanut butter...

Or maybe that wasn't you....

Later,
bbeck

...

[looking off into the distance and whistling idly to herself]

bbeck:

Or maybe that wasn't you....

All I got was a strange-tasting beer and a subpar sandwich. Had anything of the hipboot/garter nature transpired in my vicinity, I would surely have remembered. The cheating I can forgive, but the bad sandwich has doomed us. Had I known your sandwich-making deficiencies from the start, we might have avoided this sad state of affairs....

For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. So saith the Preacher.

I once met an in-your-face vagina activist. Lynn Cheney tipped her a dollar.
-Laura Bush

Even "cooter fumes", I think, speaks to the dignity of the female experience.

As my dog once said: woof!

Hob, I'm not speaking to you until you apologize for making fun of me and using RWS in that post a while ago...hmmmp!!!

Michael, so THAT'S been my probem here. I haven't been thinking like a perv. That explains sooo much. Thanks sugar!

Monty, I appreciate your restraint. I really do.

Carry on all.....

The more I read stuff like this, the more it seems that all this right wing anger all comes from you guys not getting laid.

At all.

Just goes to show that conservatives haven't had a new idea since they started paying for women, rather than clubbing them.

Wow. Conservatives motivated by sexual frustration? That's so original of you! Why hasn't anyone thought of that before?

So clever!

Sorry about that. That post was supposed to look like this:

The more I read stuff like this, the more it seems that all this right wing anger all comes from you guys not getting laid. At all. Just goes to show that conservatives haven't had a new idea since they started paying for women, rather than clubbing them.

Wow. Conservatives motivated by sexual frustration? That's so original of you! Why hasn't anyone thought of that before?

So clever!

ACE WAS WRONG! But then so was
George Carlin. Recently there was a news story of a woman in Europe, go figure, who was arrested for rape after an emasculated gentleman woke up from a kegger while getting serviced. He filed charges and the woman went to court. I think it was in the Netherlands or somewhere close. Idiot Europeans.

...thier usual shtick of conning old people out of their SS check so we can reelect the Dear Leader.

JRI,

Oooh! An intellectual. Please detail the con, including the numbers of elderly exposed to this risk, and how the con works. You know, "follow the money."

We want you to show your work, so take your time, and use lots of paper.

Cordially...

I've felt a metric ton more boobies than you ever have or will, buttwipe.

That may very well be Megan, but I question the weight of your cortex.

BTW, it's spelled metric tonne.

A thread about dicks and cedarford pops up. Coincidence? I think not.

When the clever committee wants to upgrade their standards, I'm sure they'll give you a call, Slublog.

Assuming you car tear yourself away from your duties at the loading dock.

Recyled ideas and ad hominem attacks, combined with a slur against those who perform blue-collar work?

Oh, this is beautiful.

Beautiful.

slublog:

Tom's almost the perfect Leftist caricature, isn't he? Bitter, sarcastic, snarky, humorless -- probably subscribes to The Nation and refers to his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend as his "life partner".

Has that "I'm smarter than you Red State peasants" vibe going for him, too. Probably hasn't been out to Jesusland in his entire life (although Lefties can fool you that way -- some of the most rabid moonbats I've ever seen come from places like Goodland, Kansas).

Just another bit-player in the Leftist Jackass Festival.

Scene: the girlfriend and me, sitting on the couch and watching "The Alamo" on TV. James Bowie (Jason Patric) threatens a man with his eponymous knife.

Me: "Look at the size of that knife!"

GF: "Uh-huh."

Me: "That knife is HUGE!"

GF: "Yep."

Me: "That's the biggest knife ever made!"

GF: "It's a big knife, alright."

Me: "That knife is even bigger than my penis!"

GF:

GF:

GF:

GF: "OK."

True story.

As George Carlin observed, one sentence that's never been uttered in the English language is "If you don't stop sucking my cock, I shall call the police."

Maybe so, but apparently it has been uttered in Norwegian: see here.

Has that "I'm smarter than you Red State peasants" vibe going for him, too.

The default position of the moonbat. Tom, do you really want to play "compare the degree" with this group? From what I've been able to determine, this is a pretty smart group.

Plus, we're mean.

"we're mean"

viscious, nasty, and cruel, too.

RWS, don't go holding your breath. Well actually, DO hold your breath, it makes your boobs look even bigger.

; p

(and that was to one of our own, tomm-ah, you're just a lost little moron with 3 semesters at college under your belt.)

Ace, I think you overlooked one aspect of this story. You can expect "he who shall not be named" to go beyond 'filled with heartache' if any of the penises so pictured are circumcised.

A thread about dicks is popular with everyone, yet SpewFan relates it all to one poster. Says mucho about our SpewFan.

That's the best you punks can come up with, calling me a liberal?

Goddamn right I'm a liberal.

Just like JFK, FDR, King, Bobby Kennedy, Gandhi, Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton, (all of the founders, actually).

You talk about measuring degrees, but bitch about putting down the working class. Like conservatives have done anything for the working classes.

Your self contradictions are, as usual, self evident as your lack of metal acuity or capability for forward thinking.

"someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad."

John F. Kennedy definition of a Liberal

But that's probably too much for you to take ... make you think too much, or force you to think too much on your own (assuming conservatives are capable of that, evidence points to the contrary).

I know it's hard ... you get out in that wilderness without the spoon-fed talking points to repeat, or the empty rhetoric from what passes for spiritual leaders for conservatives to parrot back, and you end up sounding like a bunch of brain dead Neanderthals (their from evolution, you might want to brush up on that whole science thing when you get a chance).

Now go watch the stock car race, and remember how they're they're best drivers in the world. Go watch Fox, and remember it's fair and balanced. Watch the the news about Iraq, and remember we're there to help bring freedom to the people. Go to your lessons about creation science and intelligent design.

Remember, you're right. The president said so. God said so. Don't let facts get in the way, it's worked great for you guys since the dark ages (hell, worked pretty good back then for you too).

But don't forget to blame liberals. It's all our fault you're lives are the way they are.

Fear, blame and lack of reasoning. Hallmarks of the right.

Tomm-ah, you're not needed and not appreciated. That said, you're also full of shit.

"Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton" were liberals?

Only in the classical sense of the word. Jefferson was an anarcho-libertarian, and while Hamilton might pass as a member of the conservative wing of the Democrat party today, his ideas of "big government" federalism were far from the nanny-state proposed by the moder Dems.
Adams was about as status quo Republican as you can get.

You are full of shit.

You seem to lie when it suits you, become petulent when the ad hominems you freely engage in are returned, and in general act like a 19 year old asshole with a little education, but not enough to know what he's talking about.

Stop spewing your idiotic talking points you swiped from Atrios. Lots of people here are far, far more intelligent and informed than you.

Give the superiority kick a rest, OK?

You haven't earned it.

If you had half a fucking nuron in your hypocephalic skull, you'd realize that GWB is the best Democrat president since JFK, and he governs almost exactly like ol' Jack Kennedy.

Stupid tool that you are, you simply have no room in that sweaty, cramped, and dusty attic you call a mind to comprehend what's really going on. Get back to class, loser.

I love it when liberals mythologize JFK. JFK is the closest thing to God most leftists have (right alongside FDR). And yet JFK was a hardnosed pol, a woman-chasing jerk, and a world-class asshole to his staff. He was the one who authorized our continued involvement in the little fracas in French Indochina (Vietnam to you unwashed redstaters out there). He was maddeningly inconsistent on foreign policy and hemorrhaged money at home. His "vision projects" -- like the moon shot -- were largely in place before he ever took office. (Harry Truman and Eisenhower are the true architects of much of the policies that JFK gets credit for, including civil rights legislation.)

But all that is hunky dory with the Left because he felt bad for the poor.

A wet fart in a high wind has more substance than the intellectual underpinnings of modern liberalism.

"The costume of the P-Day “mascot” — a friendly looking “penis” named Testaclese, has been confiscated and is under lock and key in the office of the assistant dean of student affairs"

And I'll bet he stays in his office all day long.

'i'm uh, just, uh, going to have to, uh, hold this giant penis, uh, until we get to the bottom, uh, of this."

LMAO, Lazar

my penis is resplendent

I love it that in the middle of Tom's screed about how f'ing stupid conservatives are and how intellectually superior his like are, he writes this:

..you end up sounding like a bunch of brain dead Neanderthals (their from evolution, ...

Grace:

That's not the funniest part of Tom's dumb screed, either. Neatherthals are probably not ancestral to modern human beings, but are probably a distinct species that went extinct around the time of Cro Magnon man (who were our own ancestors -- Homo Sapiens).

I find it endlessly amusing to abuse Leftists because I am the antithesis of everything they think a conservative is: instead of a bible-thumping fundamentalist, I am an atheist of long standing; rather than a creationist, I am a stout advocate of the New Synthesis of Darwinian Evolution; although a computer programmer by trade, I hold a degree in English Literature. As soon as they trot out their usual cliches, I take great delight in showing how one can be an atheistic science-oriented literature-loving conservative, and still think that Leftists and all their ilk are both intellectually and morally bankrupt.

its people like you that make it so sexism still exists...way to go

erin:

its people like you that make it so sexism still exists...way to go

At whom was that random shot directed? You see, from the context it is not clear which "you" you are referring to -- are you responding to a commenter, to ace himself, or are you using "you" as a group designator for, e.g., all males?

Clarification, please.

No, no, she was clearly talking to me, Monty.

Thanks Erin! I'm doing my best. :)

its people like you that make it so sexism still exists...way to go

That's why I keep coming back, Erin. Cause it's, uh, FUNNY. So over-the-top funny. I, for one, like to laugh.

And, not to worry, the chicks here give the guys a thwack on the nose from time to time as well. Which is funny too. Someone (Michael?) ordered bbeck to fetch him a beer, pronto. She lovingly informed him that she'd rubbed the beer bottle opening on the dog's "wanker" before presenting it to him. Now THAT'S funny.

If you want stringent sensitivity, probably best to look elsewhere. But I'll bet you won't find many laughs there.

I don't think there's much sexism on this site, really.

Too little, really. I've been meaning to be more sexist. I just haven't had the time, yannow?

Tom said: "BTW, it's spelled metric tonne."

I don't know where the hell you're from, cocksucker, but I'm an American. I don't spell "armor" with a U and I don't spell "ton" with a fucking E.

Tom also said: "I question the weight of your cortex."

I'd like you to repeat that question, Tom, while wearing hot pink spandex and a feather boa, and sucking on another man's cock.

Tom continued: "Mmmff splorf glrbbbmmff!"

Oh, you were? What a coincidence. Okay, sorry.

What was the question, again?

ace "I don't think there's much sexism on this site, really.

Allow me to repost:

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already done told her twice.

Better, ace?

He's fucking wrong, anyway.

"Tonne" is defined as a "metric ton" at m-w.com (merriam webster).

You can say "tonne." You can say "metric ton." You do not say "metric tonne," as it is a redundancy. If you say tonne, you don't have to specify "metric," as that's part of the definition.

ton = 2000 pounds

tonne = 1000 kilos

metric ton = 1000 kilos

"metric tonne" = something a retard says

Gee willickers, another liberal thinking he's smarter-than-thou and yet not bothering to check his facts first. What a shock.

I'm sorry, above I wrote "kilos." Tom the Very Smart Liberal will of course instruct me I'm wrong to write kilos.

Of course I should have written "metric kilogrammes."

Please pardon my error. I don't speak Retard.

I didn't know any of that, Ace, because I know exactly jack shit about the metric system. And, as Dave Barry noted, if we Americans have to learn the metric system, then the terrorists will have won.

Megan, if I was a chick I'd totally want to seduce you.

What I actually meant is that I'd totally read your blog if you started one. . .

. . . which, somehow, felt even sleazier to say.

Tom, I told you we were mean.

Your constant references to your own superior intellect communicates exactly the opposite. It displays a lack of self-confidence, an inability to make a coherent argument and quite frankly just makes you look like a horse's ass.

If you want to debate, then debate. Don't try to tell us how smart you are while smearing the rest of us as NASCAR-watching, Jesusland hicks who will never reach the lofty heights to which you have evolved.

Now don't you have finals to study for or something?

"metric tonne" = something a retard says

First major belly laugh of the evening!

Tomm-ah, you're not needed and not appreciated.

Yes you are -- don't listen to him! We talk to ourselves too much. Please visit anytime. And don't get offended by the abuse. Look around -- we're worse with each other.

While I see no need to ban any kind of penis-celebration, it really doesn't make any sense. Or, perhaps more to the point, it is redundant. This entire society is a penis-celebration. Women are implicitly taught from a young age to be ashamed of not only their vaginas but of their sexuality in general. Why do people find it so offensive or troubling that some women are trying to reverse that feeling that they grew up with and to celebrate a part of themselves that has been historically maligned? It's not an attack on anybody. It is not anti-penis. It is just pro-vag and pro-lady. The fact that people are offended by it or feel attacked by it just indicates that they themselves think that female sexuality is wrong, or that they don't understand it, or that they are so immature that they see a celebration of anything as an attack on its opposite, or that they are just generally not in touch with the way many women feel. I like to think of the penisfest as being simply silly and misguided, rather than angry and anti-woman. I hope I'm right.

Okay, what moron wrote that last post?

Later,
bbeck

I don't know, but it's the first time in my life I've ever seen the word (?) "pro-vag[ina]" in the same sentence as the word "lady." Irony, anyone?

Michael lisped: "Please visit anytime! And please don't get offended by the abuse, you great big silly goosey-goose!"

Michael, you fucking limpdick. Shut your piehole - you're bringing down the fucking tone.

Sortelli opined: "I'd totally read your blog if you started one"

It's dead but not gone. See all previous posts by "Morrigan" and knock yourself out, because it's not coming back. I'm too lazy and I have too short an attention span.

...and continued: which, somehow, felt even sleazier to say.

Tell me about it - I need to take another shower now.

And no, you can't watch.

The fact that people are offended by it or feel attacked by it just indicates that they themselves think that female sexuality is wrong, or that they don't understand it, or that they are so immature that they see a celebration of anything as an attack on its opposite, or that they are just generally not in touch with the way many women feel.

Boy, that's an awful lot of BS to stuff into one sentence. It reminds me of the time I told a liberal that I didn't like Katie Couric (perky pisses me off that early in the morning) and she told me I "didn't like strong women."

Your argument is just as facile - 'you don't like a vulgar play, so you must be anti-woman and don't know how women feel.' Blah...blah...blah...

But wait, I forgot...I don't understand.

Because I'm a man...

Your argument is just as facile - 'you don't like a vulgar play, so you must be anti-woman and don't know how women feel.' Blah...blah...blah...

hmm. nope. simply not liking it doesn't mean that... there's no accounting for taste. but lobbying for it to be eradicated? yes, it does.

But wait, I forgot...I don't understand.

Because I'm a man...

Oh, there it is again! The assumption that something pro-women is anti-men. You kids are so predictable!

Sorry, who are you?

If you're counting on this site to remember your information, you're out of luck.

So either you haven't gotten gotten used to this program's blips, or you just like to hide behind anonymity.

May wrote: "Why do people find it so offensive or troubling that some women are trying to reverse that feeling that they grew up with and to celebrate a part of themselves that has been historically maligned"

Ok. Somebody help me out. I'm 50+ years old and I've never heard a vagina being malighned (except for Michael). Am I not reading the right books or something?

hmm. nope. simply not liking it doesn't mean that... there's no accounting for taste. but lobbying for it to be eradicated? yes, it does.

I'm sorry. Perhaps you can point out where I asked for the play to be..."eradicated."

Oh, there it is again! The assumption that something pro-women is anti-men. You kids are so predictable!

You know, ascribing base motives to your political opponents doesn't automatically give you the high ground. Where did I say the "Vagina Monologues" is anti-men? I said it was vulgar, but nothing more.

Maybe it would be easier for you if you actually debated with us instead of with the straw men you've constructed.

Women are implicitly taught from a young age to be ashamed of not only their vaginas but of their sexuality in general.

Bullsh*t !! Being taught not to wave it around in public and demand that the world genuflect to it is NOT being taught to be ashamed of it. Again I say Bullsh*t!!

Okay, what moron wrote that last post?

bbeck:

Will you marry me?

Jeez, Grace, what's wrong with you? Did you miss the last Sisterhood meeting in which we all learned the proper way to venerate and worship the Vagina, the most important part of our bodies, FAR above our so-called "brains?" Embrace the Goddess within you!

I'm still wondering who wrote those posts.

Come out, come out wherever you are...or we'll just have to name you.

And remember, we're not nice people.

Am I the only one who wonders whether Megan and Cedarford are the same person? Consider the similarities. They are:

1. Both well-informed, articulate and intelligent.

2. Both tend to show up on the same threads at the same time.

3. Both tend to represent personas that are, um, distinctive to the point of being stereotypes (angry Jooo-hating Nazi/angry Lesbo Zionist pig).

4. Both are easily provoked (a boon to the many shit-disturbers on this site).

5. Both are vicious attack dogs.

And, best of all, they are

6. Both extremely funny.

Plus, the writing styles are not dissimilar, if you make allowances for the different personas they represent. Anyone could do this.

Am I crazy? Well, not crazy, but well into the Jack.

That's totally fucking brilliant, Michael. I mean, of COURSE they have to be the same, because they're COMPLETELY FUCKING DIFFERENT.

That makes soooo much sense.

... alright, fine, you figured it out. Look, it's bigger than you think.

This whole Internet thing? Not real. There's like five or six of us sending information into your computer and playing various blog personas to screw with you. We've been screwing with you to get you to pay us a monthly fee for Internet Service to our so-called "Internet", but now that you've figured it out I guess my fifteen children will go hungry.

Thanks a lot.

"Bullsh*t !! Being taught not to wave it around in public and demand that the world genuflect to it is NOT being taught to be ashamed of it. Again I say Bullsh*t!!"

Grace, of course by that poster's logic, all men have been taught to be ashamed of themselves too.

Hell, last time I waved it around in public and told people to genuflect to it they put an electronic gizmo on my ankle and told me not to leave the house without permission.

... the judge called me a sex offender, and I was all "Nuh-uh, I am a sex DEFENDER! You anti-male penis hater!"

Then the baliff tackled me.

If I do 2 personas, Cedarford is the factual persona that states the hard truths, and loves gutter fights. Megan is the persona that is always angry, lies on the facts, and emotes various "outrages" that strike (her) fancy.

It's a little late ths year, but I predict next year the Vagina champions will be seeing more Penis champions on lots of campuses, and the cocks will rise in indignation.

Okay, it's been a half-hour or so.

Let's play "Name That Troll."

Damn...I just realized what time it was. Forget "Name That Troll." I'm going to try and get some sleep.

Then the baliff tackled me.

"Bailiff, whack his pee-pee!"

Just goes to show that conservatives haven't had a new idea since they started paying for women, rather than clubbing them.

Hey, give us a little credit. We at least learned that after clubbing them, you have to drag them by the hair instead of by the feet, because otherwise they would fill up with dirt.

Megan,

Jeez, Grace, what's wrong with you? Did you miss the last Sisterhood meeting in which we all learned the proper way to venerate and worship the Vagina, the most important part of our bodies, FAR above our so-called "brains?" Embrace the Goddess within you!

*Hanging head in shame* I dunno, Mom always said to keep it under wraps in public. How was I to know the proper way to venerate it was to get a giant blow up version and scare people and children in the street with it? Sorry for my ignorance. I won't let the sisterhood down again.

Sortelli, The difference between men and women is that men have to be restrained
from waving it around in public, as you learned to your cost.

Spurs are leading the Nuggets 87-80 at the end of the third quarter.

Sortelli, The difference between men and women is that men have to be restrained
from waving it around in public, as you learned to your cost.

You're just saying that because you've been fooled by our pervasive penis-celebrating patriarchal hegemony.

"This whole Internet thing? Not real. There's like five or six of us sending information into your computer and playing various blog personas to screw with you. "

Whoa. Take your meds, Sortelli. We're just having fun here. Sorry about the bailiff tackling you. You may have a cause of action. If you need a lawyer, call Hob. He won a landmark case before the Oregon Supreme Court.

Or call Ace. He's a frigging lawyer too, but won't admit it.

RWS:

If you are checking this thread, GET OUT OF HERE you Flower of Southern Womanhood. You don't need to witness this. It's just going to get worse.

Thanks, Uriah, but it's over. Michael knows. I can't believe I blew the whole operation like that. *sigh*

Geez, you don't have to be a conservative to think this V Day business is nuts. I'm a left-leaning moderate and find the whole thing appaling. By choosing to have Vagina Day on Valentine's Day, aren't they trying to demean the whole notion of romance? Not that I really care about that, I've always found Valentine's Day to be a pain in the butt. Just saying.

Michael, how many anonymous women have you proposed to in the Comments section of a blog?

For some reason I've a feeling I'm not the first.

Later,
bbeck