The Stormtrooper would have to win. It is an immutable law, all new red-shirted Star Trek Security Officers die. Ain't nothin you can do about it.

The Stormtrooper would probably blast a rock or something that falls on red-shirt-guy's head though. Cause he can't hit shit.

Huh. That's certainly a tougher paradox than the whole buttered-toast-on-the-back-of-a-cat deal.

BTW, the Episode III music video is out. It's got a beat, you can dance to it:

http://www.starwars.com/episode-iii/release/trailer/10.html

The stormtrooper wins because, while stormtroopers cannot hit the broadside of a barn that contains a hero character, stormtroopers are actually quite good at killing red shirt NPC cannon fodder level characters.

Well, if Stormtroopers' marksmenship was so bad, then why did Ol' Ben Kenobi observe, "look at the placement of these shots - only stormtroopers are that precise" when investigating the attack on the Jawa transporter thingy. Huh? Somebody wanna tell me that? Grr - rebel scum just got lucky is all.

I'll second VonKreedon. The Stormies didn't have any trouble dropping all those Rebel/Alderaanian troopers when storming the Tantive IV, and Obi Wan was gushing about how only "Imperial stormtroopers are so precise" to knock out the sandcrawler.

Turn off the cameras and the Imperials'll leave the Redshirts for bantha fodder

Enas - Obi-wan's comment , "...look at the placement of these shots - only stormtroopers are that precise" is one of most inadvertantly funny lines in movie history.

At least I currently assume it was inadvertant. I thought that line may have been a very subtle and funny piece of writing, until Return of the Jedi showed Lucas to completely lack the self-effacing humor and screen writing skill to have meant the line to be funny. Oh well.

OT, Drudge is teasing Dr. Phil and Pat O'Brien...

Dr. Phil (whose show is distributed by Viacom) will host a primetime special on CBS (owned by Viacom) featuring Pat O'Brien's battle with alcoholism and his return on Thursday to The Insider (also owned by Viacom)... DEVELOPING...

I'm sure you'll get a bunch of emails regarding this...but I don't know what's wrong with me...I don't do this for a living...

And here I thought that the contributors to this site had impeccable geek credentials....shame on you all for not knowing that this fight has this fight has already happened.

All hail grudge-match.com!

Hey Ace, thanks for the Kevin Smith link. I'm a big fan of his and he's given me hope for ROTS. I am looking forward to dark, dark, dark!

But I am not really a geek, though I did marry and divorce a SW geek :-)

Re: GrudgeMatch.com

JOHN: Fellas, let's not forget what Catwoman represents: nasty, cunning, angry beasts, whose lineage includes some of the most feared predators in the world. They'd just as soon toy with their prey as rip its guts out, and their concern rests with no one but themselves. They are cold-blooded, remorseless and savage purveyors of violence.

And Catwoman represents cats as well.

John wins.

Kevin Smith also always says every Ben Affleck film is good. Just sayin'.

Not a real good sign, I have to admit. Still, I've got some respect for Kevin Smith as a filmmaker, and he seems to dislike SW for the same reasons I do. I've hated the last three Star Wars films, so I'm hoping against hope that Lucas will redeem himself with the final installment. One way or another, it's the last time he'll be getting any of my hard-earned bucks for the foreseeable future.

O/T - Speaking of Dr. Phil/Pat O'B., they're (CBS) teasing the upcoming special by playing the 'tapes'! Lol!

Yeah, Kevin Smith liked it, but let's take a little trip down memory lane to when "The Phantom Menace" was released. Here's what Kevin Smith said about that steaming turd:

--"It starts great, ends great, and has great stuff sprinkled in between."
--"I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks."
--" Is there too much Jar Jar? For a small stretch, yes..."
--" Is the kid bad? I thought he was okay. He certainly wasn't wooden..."
--"I'd like to go on record as saying I dug it."

Thanks a lot, Ace, for getting me all fired up again. I swore I wasn't going to do this after the first two prequels, but for a bit there I was thinking, "Wow, Kevin Smith liked it? He's a big geek and would probably tend to be hard on the movie, so that really means something!" Then I started getting all excited to see it, violating my vow to not get my hopes up.

I then swung by Ain't It Cool News, figuring they had jumped on the Kevin Smith story. Yes, of course they had. And their commenters pretty much dismantled it, making some of the same points as dorkafork. In a nutshell, Kevin Smith loved Episodes I and II, so his opinion is worthless. You can even see in this latest review that he has this "maybe this will finally shut you jerks up" tone. Well, OK, I'd love to be shut up, but, sorry, the only reviews I'll consider trusting will come from people that were very disappointed with Episodes I and II. If people like that start singing the praises of Episode III, then maybe I'll allow myself a little hope. But Kevin Smith? Ha!

While I really hope Episode III is fantastic, I'm not counting on it. I'll be happy if it's at least better than Episodes I and II, especially if it omits the cringe-inducing dialog of II. I'm going to see it the day it comes out, but I'm not going to see it at midnight like a moron. We'll catch it Thursday afternoon or evening, and if it sucks, oh well, at least it's over. If it's great, then that will be a fantastic surprise, but I'm not counting on it.

This is probably how it will play out for most of us Star Wars fans: Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me. Fool Me Three Times And I'm Coming For Your Bloated Head George Lucas!.

he seems to dislike SW for the same reasons I do. I've hated the last three Star Wars films,

I know this will send you geeks into spasms but all of Star Wars sucked!

All of sci-fi sucks you geek bastards, only dorks like all of you pay any attention to it!

Just felt like saying that

Prediction: Anakin quotes GWB, "are you with me or against me?" and Obi-Wan shoots back stuff about how only the Sith deal in blacks and whites.

That's what the rumour mill is churning up, anyway: http://www.otherearths.com/?q=node/46

If this does not make you afraid, you will be. You will be.