Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« | Main | »
April 19, 2005

THE NEW POPE ON BEAGLES: I was shocked and enraged to read the new "Pope's" thought on beagles:

The Church is eternal; while a man may grow or change over the course of an 80 year life, such a timescale is but a sand in the glass in the life of the Church. And thus we must be cautious to change Church doctrine; and we must always bear in mind the teaching of St. Augustine, who told us, "Yea, and verily, Beagles are thoroughly wretched little Bastards and ought to be strangled upon their foul birthings; for they are the predatory pedophiles of the canine world, the mincing little bespotted homomutts who corrupt the morals and values of more righteous breeds-- your Yorkies, your Jack Russell terriers, your shitzsus, your... well, Marmaduke-dogs...

"Suffer not a Beagle to live, for they will make a wasteland of their lands, and your lands, just like Dr. Zaius said in Planet of the Apes, except I'm shit-serious about this, I mean it, they are the Devil Who Comes Clicking On Little Toenails When You Open Up A Bag of Chips."

I am afraid I will not be blogging more for several hours. I was so overcome by dread and horror that I vomited all over my Powerbook. You know how hard it is to clean liquids from between the keys?


posted by Ace at 04:20 PM
Comments



"...the Devil Who Comes Clicking On Little Toenails When You Open Up A Bag of Chips."

Damn you. Damn you. ROFLMAO

Posted by: lauraw on April 19, 2005 04:28 PM

"Suffer not a Beagle to live... the Devil Who Comes Clicking On Little Toenails When You Open Up A Bag of Chips"

Oh good lord, I was just trying to convince myself to go to sleep after working all f'in night, too. Then I read this. Fuck it, I'll just get a drink and stay up until Ace stops making me break down in fits of deranged sleep-deprived laughter.

Posted by: Megan on April 19, 2005 04:30 PM

Damn you, Ace, I'm trying to work here! Stop making me spit Coke into my keyboard!

Posted by: NickS on April 19, 2005 04:32 PM

I love beagles! The new pope is a beagle bashing bastard! Time for the WWI Flying Ace to fly a Sopwith Camel right up his ass and out his pointy, beagle hating head!

Posted by: compos mentis on April 19, 2005 04:32 PM

HAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: Iblis on April 19, 2005 04:37 PM

having read Augustine, I can vouch that this "except I'm shit-serious about this, I mean it, " is absolutely true to the writing style of the first Doctor of the Church.

Many's the evening, sipping Cognac by the fire, reading the Confessions that I have chanced upon this very phrase.

It warms my heart to see it here. And in reference to the demon-beasts that are beagles? Bellisimo!

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 19, 2005 04:37 PM

I was going to point out that the dog in that gob-smackingly vile Peanuts cartoon strip is a beagle, which proves what Cliff Claivin or whoever was saying, but I just noticed compos mentis beat me to it.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure a beagle figures prominently in the Book of Revelation. If this new guy keeps on wagging the finger of righteousness at the spectre of evil, no matter where it may be clicking its toenails, I might have to convert.

Posted by: utron on April 19, 2005 04:44 PM

Devil Who Comes Clicking On Little Toenails When You Open Up A Bag of Chips

Unfuckingbelievable. Each of these Sully posts I'm reading is better than the last. The strange thing is that I'm reading them out of order.

This entire sequence goes into your Hall of Fame, next to Anka, the Top 10s, and "Let's Be Honest."

I also dug "Suffer not a beagle to live." Nice deployment of actual paraphrased scripture, Ace.

Posted by: Jeff B. on April 19, 2005 06:41 PM

Devil Who Comes Clicking On Little Toenails When You Open Up A Bag of Chips

Huh. I always had to order a pizza to get my little Devil to come home.

Posted by: on April 19, 2005 06:59 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
In response to someone asking why the video tape doesn't show Tyler Robinson's face (PS, it does, but it's crappy video so it's blurry):

Candace Owens
@RealCandaceO

Because as I demonstrated on my show, there were MANY young men that all woke up and decided to dress in Maroon shirts and light shorts on the day of the Charlie's assassination.

The footage can be any one of these young men and in my opinion is likely multiple of them.

If Tyler Robinson's defense would like to contact me-- I'd be happy to supply them the folder of the maroon boys that I began archiving when I noticed the bizarre fashion trend.

I have thus far ID'd two of them, but will focus on IDing the rest of them when I am back on air.

I have maintained that the Feds had multiple decoy maroon boys on the ground that day. Without a clear image, they certainly cannot declare it is Tyler Robinson which is why all the Zionist influencers are hoping they can simply hypnotize the public into trusting blurry images and videos.
For such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination.
More "fedslop" that Cavernous Nostrils is too smart to be taken in by:

Blake Neff
@BlakeSNeff

BREAKING: Lance Twiggs says that Robinson admitted to him in-person on Sept. 11 that the message he had sent the night before (presumably, messages sent while he was trying to retrieve his rifle the night of Sept 10) was true. He says Robinson told him "He wishes he hadn't done it."
Fenix Ammunition
@FenixAmmunition

Photos of the ammunition recovered from Tyler Robinson.

Remington headstamp on the case and despite the somewhat low resolution on the photo you can see the somewhat blunted nature of the projectile's tip.

This is a Remington Cor-Lokt soft point round. It's SPECIFICALLY designed to deform, slow down, and prevent an exit wound. Available at literally every single gun store and sporting goods store that sells ammunition.

In fact, 16 out of the 17 .30-06 varieties manufactured by Remington use some type of expanding, deforming, or fragmenting bullet. Only ONE of their products uses a full metal jacket projectile that could/would be expected to leave an exit wound.

Here's a clip of them sitting in my desk.

This has been the most easily debunked claim of their entire web of lies and it's really mind blowing considering this is exactly what you would choose for an assassination.

But yeah, definitely keep getting all your information from the DEI hire and the Portland pizza boy. I'm sure they know more about this than I do.

Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round.

Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
And a song with another song as an intro, too:
Be it sight, sound, smell, or touch
There's something
Inside that we need so much
The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound
Or the strength of an oak with roots deep in the ground
The wonder of flowers to be covered and then to burst up
Thru tarmac, to the sun again

Boy do they look like absolute dorks.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
Doing alright
A little jiving on a Saturday night
And come what may
Gonna dance the day away
Jenny was sweet
She always smiled for the people she'd meet
On trouble and strife
She had another way of looking at life
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Is Kentucky's long nightmare over? Maine's resident Nazi might be out, NATO making progress, or is it a fake, Le Pen in France might have a shot, Democrats are simply pinch-faced scolds who hate America, but is our youth going to revitalize the country...and more!
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Birthright Citizenship? The Democratic Socialists of the Democrat Party are ascendant, the President's misstep about gas prices, and more!
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
It happened one summer, it happened one time
It happened forever, for a short time
A place for a moment, an end to dream
Forever I loved you, forever it seemed
One summer never ends, one summer never began
It keeps me standing still, it takes all my will
An Update about Grammie Winger:
She is doing poorly...she is in the hospital and is having a tough go of it. She would love to hear from you folks, so anyone who would like to contact her is welcome to her address! Please contact Bluebell at moroncookbook@gmail.com for her contact info. (I expect her local post office to be furious with us!)
[CBD]
Recent Comments
JackStraw: ">>I'm a few decades out from my last I95 experienc ..."

The Grateful - Acta Non Verba: "I want to I have a custom quilt made for Christmas ..."

The Grateful - Acta Non Verba: "I'm a few decades out from my last I95 experience. ..."

Victor Tango Kilo: "I want to I have a custom quilt made for Christmas ..."

Joe Kidd: "I've driven 95 many times from RI to FL and it's m ..."

The Grateful - Acta Non Verba: "If you have a little extra time I would avoid I95 ..."

JTB: "TRex, Serious thanks for the thread. Now I'm thin ..."

TRex - tiny dancer dino: "Time to say thank you before the next act takes th ..."

JTB: "13 ... "As far as my hobby of pipe smoking: I've g ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: " Robert Duvall liked miniatures while in the tw ..."

TRex - deck the halls dino: "Many years ago, I started collecting minis on keyc ..."

Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. : "[I] I don't think I need one, but it makes my hear ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives