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April 15, 2005

Idahoan Bill Announces: Those Voting "Nay" are "Freakin' Idiots"

Napoleon Dynamite is a funny and charming film, if a tad overrated by its most-enthusiastic supporters. It's the comedic Donnie Darko of last year.

Idaho is proud of the film because it was made by Idahoans and, they think, showcases their magical state to good effect ("Idaho-- land of llamas and maladjusted hyperdorks"). So there's a bill in the Idaho state congress to honor the film:

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29
BY WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE
CONCURRENT RESOLUTION
STATING LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS AND COMMENDING JARED AND JERUSHA HESS AND THE
CITY OF PRESTON FOR THE PRODUCTION OF THE MOVIE "NAPOLEON DYNAMITE."

Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Idaho:
WHEREAS, the State of Idaho recognizes the vision, talent and creativity of Jared and Jerusha Hess in the writing and production of "Napoleon Dynamite"; and
WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth; and
WHEREAS, filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system; and
WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and
WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export; and
WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships; and
WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics; and
WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation; and...

Okay, you get the basic idea of the silliness going on here. This continues for, like, a bazillion whereases. Let's skip ahead to the good part.

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the members of the First Regular Session of the Fifty-eighth Idaho Legislature [that this is a good movie and we're very proud of it. Maybe a little too proud].

Will this bill pass? The Idaho Majority Whip has confidence. Although he did think there would be a few legislators abstaining or voting no, he expected the majority of the House to vote an enthusiastic Shyeahhh!!

Thanks for the tip to RobR, who got it off MSNBC's "Clicked" feature.

posted by Ace at 11:59 AM

Comments

Holy crap. I thought you were kidding, but holy crap.

That's hilarious.

Posted by: Slublog on April 15, 2005 12:11 PM

Completely OT...Ace, I just sent you a t-shirt pic through your new email. Let me know if you got it.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on April 15, 2005 12:15 PM

Well Jeff G is taking a rest so I guess I will have to count on you Ace for my naughty blog guilty pleasure.

Don't let me down.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on April 15, 2005 12:20 PM

damn, seriously funny

i think Congress should use that "vote for this or your a freakin idiot" clause

Posted by: johnny on April 15, 2005 12:22 PM

I rarely feel sorry for a State, usually large geographical areas don't need my or anyone else's pity. But Idaho's done gone and made me do it. Takin a cutesy 'not doing enough with great characters flick' and holding it to it's heart just cause it was ostensibly set there? Jeez Idaho, if I knew you were that needy, I would've... I dunno. You're the too-crazy-into-you-after-one-awkward-date chick state. Napolean Dynamite? Try Fatal Attraction, that's your State movie.

Idaho, if you're looking for pop culture tie in validation, why not get that Evil Kenevil's kid to jump one of your rivers or somthing? Sort of an old school, everything is new again thing. Frankly, that's your angle. That original Snake River jump should be on your license plates - the one cool thing that ever happened there. (Who even knew you weren't still a territory before that? Geography buffs, maybe.) Please? Something that won't make me feel a little sorry for you?

Did Wyoming and Montana not call you afterward like they said they would?

Posted by: Ray Midge on April 15, 2005 12:31 PM

Bbeck,

Thanks... but I haven't gotten it yet. Did you send it to my gmail account? That seems a lot faster and less balky.

aceofspadeshq@gmail.com

Can't wait to see it.

Posted by: ace on April 15, 2005 12:41 PM

Ace, yes I did send it to your gmail account.

Should I try your Yahoo account, too?

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: on April 15, 2005 12:44 PM

Whoops, noticed the problem, am trying again...

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: on April 15, 2005 12:47 PM

Gosh! What are they, retards? GOSH!

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 15, 2005 01:04 PM

Ray,

You're just jealous because I've been online chatting with babes ALL DAY!

Posted by: Idaho on April 15, 2005 01:41 PM

Idaho, look. Please stop with the emails, the cutesy comments to me on all the blogs. I drove through you one time. It was great, but I didn't mean for it to become this big 'thing.' Not to be mean or anything, but I was just looking for a shortcut to Montana. (do you have her number by the way - she wrote it down on the back of a receipt I can't find it now) I didn't mean to use you like that, it just kinda happened. Now let it go. Please.

Posted by: Ray Midge on April 15, 2005 01:55 PM

Ray,

Dang!

Can I draw you a Liger? Its a Lion and Tiger mixed known for its skills in magic.

Posted by: Idaho on April 15, 2005 02:00 PM

Idaho, stop it. Just stop. Even Nevada is laughing at you behind your back. Let it go. Keep a little dignity. I'll treasure what we had, but it's in the past. You need someone rural, more 'your speed', more your level. I hear Canada was asking bout you - if you were seeing anyone. Why don't you email Canada? Sure Can's a little goody-goody, but you know Can'll love you for you. You deserve that.

Posted by: Ray Midge on April 15, 2005 02:09 PM

Ray,

Ok. You win. At least Vote for Pedro.

Hi Canada,

Wanna play me?

Posted by: Idaho on April 15, 2005 02:15 PM

Idaho: Where Paul Anka's Lightmen go to retire.
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/061876.php

"Yessssss"

Man of Substance
aka
Retired Geezer

http://blogidaho.com

Posted by: on April 15, 2005 02:33 PM

Pfft, they didn't even get it right--it's not Napoleon's bicycle. Napoleon has to ride the bus. The bicycle is Pedro's.

Posted by: Beck on April 15, 2005 07:35 PM

And they've taken that bike on some sweet jumps!

Posted by: BrewFan on April 15, 2005 07:49 PM

Beck, I though Napoleon had the bike before he met pedro, to take his brother into town.

i can't remember, though

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 15, 2005 08:07 PM

Ha!

Idaho is a fine state, and all the better without you fuckers. We love bad press because it keeps the CA and the NY out of our great state. I have lived in ten states and Idaho tops them all. The outdoor activities and lack of crime make everyday enjoyable. It is true that we lack "culture" but I would rather have a beer and paddle the Salmon than watch some shitty art flick.

The dynamite bill is stupid and "famous patatoes" is an odd thing to put on the plate, but the pain is worth it as long as you retards stay out.

Posted by: Mark on April 17, 2005 02:41 AM