You can't say I'm not straight with you.

Too easy.

You're being too kind to the hosts, but yeah, train wreck.

I thought ya done good.

Needs more cowbell, though.

All right bitch. Stop playing coy. (Yet?) Give it up. Give us something, man.

Wait a second, did I just hear Jeff say he expected you to sound tougher?

You coulda ripped into 'em more.
Like when they were pressing for personal info you shoulda been all Anka
"Hey squeakhole, you should be on your fucking knees blowing me for being on your asswipe show."

hmmmm... I didn't hear that.

You've got a radio gig lined up, don't you? Dude, one word: sinecure.

Help a brother out.

"Hey squeakhole, you should be on your fucking knees blowing me for being on your asswipe show."

Well, yeah, look: I wasn't really going for a combatative interview. They were nice enough to invite me; I'm not really a dick. I just play one on my blog.

You've got a radio gig lined up, don't you?

That's preposterous.

Ace,

Consider this my application to be your radio show co-host.

Just layoff the casting couch requests. OK?

Ace,

(Serious question)

Were you told it was gonna be all inside jokes all the time?

And if so, was that before or after you asked us not to bring them up if we called in?

C'mon. What WAS that stuff bout a female co-host then? If you're still in negotiations, OK. But if you're holding out cause of 'jinx it' bullshit,' why I'll...

I thought you did well. It's not your fault Jeff and Bill can't direct their show.

I didn't expect your voice to be so deep, myself. I was kind of expecting a little effeminacy. No offense, heh.

Sorry for my crappy question. I wanted to say something else, but froze.

If you get your own show, I promise never, ever to call.

You mean *GASP* this is all an act?!

Seriuosly they wasted a ton of your time with that crap. Poor show prep. Loose Shit.

See, Ace, the thing is you never do reach for the funny on your blog. You just snark and bite at random shit normal people wouldn't really think of bitching about and that's what brings the funny. Because you get it right. And you're vicious about it.

I like mean, unapologetic people who get it right. It's just... funny. But on that show it was like some kind of unbelievably gay kindergarten "Let's get to know our friends!" group therapy session. Seriously.

"We hate this word. What word do you hate, Ace?"

What kind of lame shit is that? And you went along with it! Christ, you should've ripped them apart. How about this, Ace:

"Historic world events going on every fucking day, massive political realignment, real social security reform being talked about seriously for the first time in a long time, and you want to know if I hate the word 'blog,' just like you? What are you guys, fuckin' retarded? Y'all shut the fuck up, I'm taking over the show since neither of you two seems to know what to fuckin' say to me and you're wasting my fucking time. Sit there in the corner real quiet-like while I talk, okay? I'll tell you when you can open your mouths again. All right people, here's the shit the Dems are trying to pull today and this is why they're fucked as usual."

See? Find me just ONE of your readers who won't agree that that would've made a better show. Instead of playing out like the fuckin' Ungame.

Well, let's be fair. Doing radio is HARD. No, actually doing it well is HARD.

Try it. Sit in front of a tape recorder and do a twenty minute segment on something topical. It makes you respect the Limbaughs of the world.

With that said, while I respect Bill and Jeff...they need practice. What works on one medium doesn't always translate to another, and I got the feeling I was listening to them read blog entries.

Megan,

As Ace would say "I don't know you from Adam. And, I don't know Adam". But, I love the posts. Keep it up.

p.s. - Ace, therewith be your cohost.

only if she's a hot lesbian.

who doesn't mind being naked on radio

you did all right, but the venue sucked, not your fault

Heh, I actually did a show in college. :) Here's the first rule:

Never, ever sign on until you've had a drink. Or three. You have a better chance of being the most fascinating person in the world if you truly, honestly believe you are.

"Historic world events going on every fucking day, massive political realignment, real social security reform being talked about seriously for the first time in a long time, and you want to know if I hate the word 'blog,' just like you? What are you guys, fuckin' retarded? Y'all shut the fuck up, I'm taking over the show since neither of you two seems to know what to fuckin' say to me and you're wasting my fucking time. Sit there in the corner real quiet-like while I talk, okay? I'll tell you when you can open your mouths again. All right people, here's the shit the Dems are trying to pull today and this is why they're fucked as usual."

Yeahhhh... but that's, you know, tough-guy schtick. And I do some of that, but again, I wasn't looking to be comabative. if they wanted to ask about X, Y, and Z, I would answer.

I did say they had a homoerotic fascination with me. Doesn't that count?

Never, ever sign on until you've had a drink. Or three. You have a better chance of being the most fascinating person in the world if you truly, honestly believe you are.

But, I did. I finished my third by the end of the interview.

I did say they had a homoerotic fascination with me. Doesn't that count?

Not if you're just going to mention it in passing. :P You need to be mean about it. There's a term for nice, pleasant, non-combative people on radio: they're called "one-shots."

I finished my third by the end of the interview.

Sheesh. I don't know then, try tequila shots or something, whatever it takes to bring out your inner asshole.

Ace,

(Serious question)

Were you told it was gonna be all inside jokes all the time?

And if so, was that before or after you asked us not to bring them up if we called in?

- me

I specifically asked to not be asked about inside jokes.

- Ace (from the other thread)

Gotcha. You've already answered my question.

You'll get more of these, so . . . .

1) You must take control

2) You must be crisp - you can't be verbally thinking about your answers (ummmmmmm . . . . ) while giving them

3) You must decide if you are serious or a goof - hint -- you're a big goof in a little pond

4) Self-deprecation on radio is a disaster

5) Esoteric is even worse

You can do it. You write fast as fuck, very funny. When they asked for questions from you, you sh9uld have hit them with Lipton. And then you should not have explained that they were Lipton jokes.

Next time we meet. we're practicing this shit. A train-wreck for you is a train-wreck for ol' Hoke.

got called away and didn't hear the last 2/3

Oh, well, no worries ace, you were probably the shy, reserved fella we all know and love.

btw, "That's preposterous." and contumelous. and obstreptropous. and malodorous.

Laugh it off, big guy.

and nice voice modulator.

and nice not giving them your number.

Bob Dole's cock would be proud

Totally agree with Tant, above. Those guys are learning on the job, with audio that enhances the 'amateurish' factor. Ever watch College comm students? Go watch Dave's 'Boom goes the Dynamite.' Could be doing much worse.

Also right about the 'blog entry' feel. Goldstein practices a certain sort of witty (sometimes very) 'crafted' comedy that seemed aimed, at least in part, at reminding listeners of his cleverness. It can be funny, 'frontal cortex' stuff, but it's sort of devoid of personality. 'Funny' to read, 'forced' to listen to. His voice ain't helpin either. They need to concentrate less on funny pieces and be conservative/libertarians examing a topic and letting the' funny' just happen.

Ace wrote (in another thread): It doesn't help that I've felt the need to have a beer or three before these two appearances.

Ah, see, that explains it. When I say "a drink or three" I don't mean beer. If I had I would've said beer. I meant something at least 80 proof.

There's a term for nice, pleasant, non-combative people on radio: they're called "one-shots."

We'll see.

Overall, I thought you did okay, actually. You have a Steven Wright type delivery. It works.

ace wrote: "There's a term for nice, pleasant, non-combative people on radio: they're called 'one-shots.'"

We'll see.

I don't mean you, not necessarily. Jeff and Bill were much worse and I doubt they can afford to pick and choose. No offense. (To you, that is. Plenty to them.)

"That's Preposterous"----Ace.

That isn't a denial! In fact, it's barely a non-denial denial. It's more like a modified limited hang-out. Which of course means, as preposterous as it sounds, Ace does in fact have a radio gig lined up.

I know doubletalk politico speak when I hear/read it!

Ace are you Deep Throat?

Completely O/T
a Lego Church.
http://www.amyhughes.org/lego/church/photosfirst.html

Still waiting for my 20%...........

I think Jeff and Bill were assholes throughout, for no discernible reason. You showed great fortitude Ace.

I think you did well (especially the part about me :-) ).

I don't think they were assholes, but there was a certain amount of competitiveness going on.

I kinda expected that... eh. It is what it is.

ace, don't let these jackals drag you down (and I mean Bill and Ted (Jeff), not these moron-jackals here)

You're better than them.

You're the only important one on that fucking soundstage!

Now go out there and kick some fucking ass.

Karol, did I ever tell you you had a pleasant speaking voice?

Ace,

What's up with the whole Ace/Hoke split-personality thing?

Is Hoke your evil twin persona?

Why are you/Hoke/Ace posting stuff from the Hoke point-of-reference?

I mean, if Hoke is a plot fixture meant to push the blog along. Fine, cool. We'll consider that another inside joke. Everytime we read "Hoke" we'll know that is really "Ace" using his alternate persona.

Otherwise, it is lame. Do you log into Ebay as Hoke and push up the bidding on your D&D paraphenalia?

btw, don't get the idea that we no longer love you (in a Viking king of way). It's just...(sounding like parents)..."we have high expectations for you". Dammnit kick ass and take names Ace. Or, take down the Mencken quote.

HOKE IS A REAL GUY.

I JUST PRETENDED TO BE HOKE WHEN I WAS "RETIRED" BECAUSE I COULDN'T POST AS MYSELF.

Sheeesh! I can't keep saying this!

He's REAL!!!!!

I screwed up in my last comment by writing as if I were Ace, because I always put "Ace" in the Name box, as if I'm addressing Ace.

Hoke not bright.

The Shadow,

I appreciate your sentiments. But it's not my show.

At least, this wasn't my show.

Now, if I did have a show, I'd be free to explore the studio space and talk about topics I chose and which interested me.

But, of course, I do not have such a show.

At least, this wasn't my show.

Dammit, there you go again. I've known hot chicks in nun's habit's that were less of a cock tease. C'mon.

Dude, you're a really good writer. How did you get to be that way? (rhetorical question) Practice!

So you shot a tiny, miniscule, dusty wad this time. Your hosts sure as hell didn't help by giving you any tantalizing strokes. Besides, first time is always awkward.

Plus, if you'd been all like "Avast ye scurvy skalligwags! Prepare to be boarded and anally fisted until you taste the sweat on my elbow!" Goldstein would've probably shit himself and his co-whoret would've screamed like the little girl she is. On second thought, that would have been some pretty damned funny radio. Ah well, live and learn.

I believe this is what my high school English teacher called foreshadowing. :)

The Shadow,

I appreciate your sentiments. But it's not my show.

At least, this wasn't my show.
Posted by ace at April 14, 2005 04:43 PM

Now, if I did have a show, I'd be free to explore the studio space and talk about topics I chose and which interested me.

But, of course, I do not have such a show.
Posted by ace at April 14, 2005 04:43 PM

Look, I'm not too concerned. I really had no idea what to expect, there was no prep, no list of questions, etc. I offered to pre-interview but we didn't.

The cadence was kind of all wrong for me, too. I sorta like to riff with someone. These Q&A's... not my forte.

If I had someone to riff with, someone who had a nice speaking voice, who knows what might happen.

Hoke is real, but while I'm on the subject, Ace, Hoke......

what? Homos?

You know better than that, Cal.

I'd consider it, bit only with a dude who had a good radio voice.

Man, that was just like the old Jack Benny radio hour. Only without the radio ... and without Jack Benny.

Actually, I thought it was fine. I've been trying to listen in each week and was going to do a general review of the radio show ... but I already have enough enemies.

I figure the radio gig is a WIP for Bill and Jeff and they need some room to work with it. Somehow I don't think the dissing listeners is gonna work, though - it is impossible to tell them apart. It'd be easier if one of them were funny! But they're in an entirely new medium - that has to be hard as a bitch to learn on the fly.

dissing one's audience is the new black, Dan!

at least ace is funny about it, and pulls it of with something approaching elan.

Bill and Ted are just pissy.

How about Ace and Oliver? It could be like a Hannity and Colmes thing.

Holy crap, did I really just write that?

I'm really bringing the suck today...

What, were an beauty challenged lib clings to the coattails of a sex god rightie?

The Qs define As!

Dammit I meant "where" not "were".
Me fail English, that unpossible.

I have never seen so much fellatio in one comment thread. It's like porno over here.

Ace, you did great. Put up with our intended assholishness with aplomb. And told a funny joke or two.

Geez, trying to catch the rebroadcast and last week's show comes up.

Loose shit.

Karol, did I ever tell you you had a pleasant speaking voice?

Nope, don't think you ever have, Ace.

Geez, everyone's a critic.

I didn't hear the show because I was out doing, like, things. BUT I'm not certain what folks were expecting from this program. If Jeff and Bill were pro-level then they would be doing what they do for a living rather than enjoying a glorified hobby. Similarly, I don't know how many interviews Ace has been asked to give but surely it ain't THAT many.

I'm certain that it was a valuable learning experience for everyone involved, and perhaps X months from now everyone will have honed their respective crafts more.

I'm also sorry I missed it even though folks seem a li'l down about it. Ace is always entertaining.

Later,
bbeck

Oops! Sorry.
A question defines an answer.

So is Hoke a real person or what?

Hob,

On the dissing listens/ readers/ thing. In my opinion for it to work, there also has to be some self-deprecation that balances it out and makes the whole thing work. Even Stern does it if you noticed.

Could be that they haven't established that on the radio to get you to buy into the other piece, or it could be wrong for the personalities. But it's more than just one factor.

Looks at how nasty Rickles used to be ( if you're that old) but he was such a schlumpy looking character, it was actually funny. If a Steven Wright tried to do that, he'd get his ass-kicked every night.

bbeck wrote: If Jeff and Bill were pro-level then they would be doing what they do for a living

Right, because it's so easy for professionals to get their own shows...

Ace is always entertaining.

Not after just three lousy beers he ain't.

:P

Bill actually had the brazen gall to show his face in here and say: I have never seen so much fellatio in one comment thread. It's like porno over here.

Porn is entertaining.

Hey, do you like the word "ass-muncher?" I like the word "ass-muncher!"

Feh.

Dan Rhiel -

I really don't mind 99.9% of the criticism on this thread (enjoying and anticipated it, in fact), but you ... well, I haven't seen you do a funny post in your entire blogging career. Ever. Everything you do tries so darn hard, and fails miserably. Seriously, you embarrass yourself, and your qualifications to critique are suspect.

And stop sending me e-mails begging for links, please.

Thanks,

Bill

Megan -

Take a moment to spit. And breathe. You are the exact type of person that we wanted to piss off with the show. DING DING DING!

:-)

You wanted people who like your blog and admire your writing (your Andrew Sullivan interview was f'in hilarious, loved it, btw) to hate your guts for pointlessly wasting their time with an insipid, submoronic touchy-feely interview, when you had the opportunity to give one of the most brilliantly vicious right-wing bloggers around a voice on your show, and play off his trademark sarcasm?

Well, okay then. Mission accomplished.

Even I don't believe that "assholishness" was an act.

Well, it may have sucked, but there is drama and controversy.

Two out of three ain't bad.

Only because Bill's acting like a kid who pisses his pants, slips and falls in the puddle and then yells "I MEANT to do that!"

Sure.

Like I said earlier guys....This is their THIRD SHOW. I think they are doing great for never hosting a radio show before.
Maybe some of y'all should try it instead of being critics.

I missed the beginning of ACE cuz I was pickin up kids DANG IT!
I tried the replay, but it's replaying last week's, which is great to hear MY voice, but I really want to hear the beginning of the ACE interview.

Hey, calm down on Bill and Ted, or Jeff and Bill, or whoever they were.

It's their show. Every show has a vibe and a sensibility. Theirs may be a bit different than mine; they can't tailor their show to showcase my, if I may be so bold, incandescent talents.

It was fine.

Ace, did you really call us "social retards?" Cuz baby I am anything but....;-)

Megan Hey, do you like the word "ass-muncher?" I like the word "ass-muncher!"

I like a little tossed salad before the main course.

And what's so wrong about a lot of fellatio may I ask?

William:

Sure we're gonna stick up for Ace. We are the faithful! We're the ones he trusts to waft a shot of tequila under his nose after he's already hurled 3 times. We're the ones responsible for making sure the photos are taken of his naked, shaving cream and permanent marker-covered body after he's passed out completely.

Meh. I'll let it go, Ace, if you insist. As long as there's no more guff from the other side.

Ding ding ding my cute little ass.

You wanted people who like your blog and admire your writing (your Andrew Sullivan interview was f'in hilarious, loved it, btw) to hate your guts for pointlessly wasting their time with an insipid, submoronic touchy-feely interview, when you had the opportunity to give one of the most brilliantly vicious right-wing bloggers around a voice on your show, and play off his trademark sarcasm?

Yes, something like that. I would say more, but I'm already spoiling it.

You bought a shirt, didn't you?

No.

I kinda expected that... eh. It is what it is.
Posted by ace at April 14, 2005 04:38 PM

Hoser.

Bill

"You are the exact type of person that we wanted to piss off with the show"

Maybe megan is, but how lame is it to imitate the late-stage andy kauffman without ever having the early andy popularity?

snide isn't funny. except to yourselves.

face it, you suck.

Maybe you'll get better; I wish you the best, but please don't insult out intelligence further by pretending your amateurish and pathetic "act" was either (a) intentional; or (b) humorous outside of your own mind.

As for fellating, I would challenge you to look at any one of your co-host's threads on any given day.

and get back to documenting protesters, that was the last funny stuff you did.

I was out delivering babies or something while the show was running, so I have no idea what you people are going on about. What's the consensus? Should those of us who missed it catch the replay or not?

Ace, did you really call us "social retards?" Cuz baby I am anything but....;-)

I think all bloggers are fundamentally damaged people, yes. Maybe they can function in polite society, but there's something goofy that causes this behavior.

Apparently there will be no replay.

That's kinda not a good sign, is it?

U, only if you absolutely positively want to hear what Ace sounds like.

Why are y'all being so mean? Good Lord! What were you expecting? SNL? They are very cute and funny. How can y'all see anything from all the high horses y'all are sitting on?

listen, ace, I didn't hear the whole show. I'm not saying that these guys should make you look good.

Hell, if they're funny, they can trash you from here to next Tuesday.

But the whole "We have Instapundit's number" thing was just so . . . desperate and weak, in addition to Bill's whining about his nastygram, I'm not even concerned about how you did.

I'm just trying to give Bill a little of the "constructive criticism" he so freely bestows upon the benighted God-botherers.

Ace, its because you outshined them even when you sucked. Its jealousy man. They're tryin' to keep ya down.

Ace, actually...some of us are just bored.

Hmmm... Can't say this sounds good. Maybe I should just leave the whole audio-Ace experience as a mystery.

Hobgoblin -

Maybe you'll get better; I wish you the best, but please don't insult out intelligence further by pretending your amateurish and pathetic "act" was either (a) intentional; or (b) humorous outside of your own mind.

Not all that much of my ego is involved in blogging or radio. All I can tell you is this - listen to our last three shows and compare them. If you can't grasp a difference in questions or vibe, well ... shrug.

Jeff and I did exactly what we came to do. We enjoyed it immensely.

BTW - is it unsavory carrying Ace's jock strap Disappointing? You know, never getting in the game yourself, just sitting on the sidelines and sniffing it? Whiling your days away, obsessively commenting on his blog like a drunk teeny groupie waiting outside of a Beatles concert?

We all have a role to play in this world.

RWS, in case you haven't noticed, Bill and Jeff haven't exactly been little Miss Congenialities lately. It's not like they're deserving of much lattitude.

When one door closes another door opens. The show may have been void of humor but these comments rule (if you not the one being hammered).

Apparently there will be no replay.

That's kinda not a good sign, is it?

Apparently, management is angry at the profanity and other dirty references.

RWS asked plaintively: "Why are y'all being so mean?"

We aren't "being" mean. are mean. That's why we read Ace's blog. We like being mean, and we like being around other mean people. It's one hell of a lot better than the alternative.

"They are very cute and funny"

I promised I wouldn't go off on those two anymore, so I'll just say this: if I wanted cute I'd buy a goddamn puppy.

RWS, in case you haven't noticed, Bill and Jeff haven't exactly been little Miss Congenialities lately. It's not like they're deserving of much lattitude.

I haven't been congenial since I was 8 months old. (as RWS knows)

Just been splashing cold contrarian water on your ideological group hug and you're mad. I understand.

What's the whole anti Bill thing? The show didn't suck. And it's not like people got hurt. (Did anyone catch some of that property rights show beforehand? Something about IT in Brazil? Would have been less boring had it been in Portugese, a language I don't know.) Some of the comedy was trying a little hard, but for a THIRD show? C'mon. Letterman's early stuff could be stiff. Give 'em time.

I haven't seen you do a funny post in your entire blogging career.

Maybe it's just me, but I think Riehl World View is a damned good site.

Dan Rhiel has written bits that make coffee and unchewed donuts come out of my nose.

That link-begging line was pretty low, Bill.

What were you expecting? SNL?

The Flower of Southern Womanhood has nailed it. I get the impression that the legion of Aceophiles had a severe case of overblown expectations.

I thought Bill, in particular, was reasonably funny and entertaining.

Ace got in a couple of good jokes, got flummoxed a little on the phone number issue, sounded thoughtful a few times, was appeallingly candid about his mental health, said "uhhhhh" too much like a million other nervous people would, and generally seemed like an interesting guy.

Altogether, it was well worth the price of admission.

MMmmmm. I just like Ace's voice. I want more of it. It had some kind of edge to it that promised smart and funny.

Thought he got stepped on once or twice while the hosts gimbled like gyroscopes around over-extended jokes.
Wanted more Ace, is all.

But I liked what was there.

sure, Bill I'm just a nobody.

A nobody who won a major case at the Oregon Supreme Court, but still a nobody.

With insomnia and a procrastination/ADD problem.

who's working in between posts and late at night.

Yea, o mighty warrior in the ring, your internet blog is verily the light of truth in a darkened land!

and I already said ace could bomb for all I care, it's your suckiness that I'm commenting on.

Megan, OK, you made me laugh out loud with your last comment. I'm thinking you and me are 2 different kind of women. Makes life interesting, doesn't it?

Hobgoblin, I haven't seen Jeff be mean. Has he?

Look, Bill doesn't even like me (thinks my blog is too pink) but I am just saying give them a little slack.

I missed the dirty stuff????? DANG IT AGAIN!!!!
MY ONE GUILTY PLEASURE AND I MISS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N

Apparently we're both from the South, but yeah, it seems that's about it.

Hob:

I knew it! I made you as a frigging lawyer based on the thread below about sodomy statutes.

I have my suspicions about Cedarford as well. He seems to know something about the law, and he's a genuinely awful person. Got to be a lawyer. :>)

Michael, that's horrible. You might as well say: "I could tell you're an artist. You remind me of that Hitler guy."

"Look, Bill doesn't even like me (thinks my blog is too pink) but I am just saying give them a little slack."

Wait. I thought you were a stalker?

Later,
bbeck

Michael, I've never denied it.

Never admitted it either.

No, actually I have admitted it. I do my time, bill my (pitiable) hours, go home and bill some more.

I'm getting more energy as I get older, oddly, and mumbling to blithering idiots over the innernut helps me think (or at least blocks the voices in my head enough for me to work through things)

that's why my typing can be so bad, as I just hit post withoput proofreading. just blathering while the rest of my mind works.

bbeck, he wishes....;-)

Look, Bill doesn't even like me neither. Tossed some Shatner poem at bout not being man enough to have a blog or soemthing (sorry, didn't actually read poems. Skipped over Tolkein's, and ain't bout to slow down for Shatner.)

Still, too early to say the radio thing sucks. Criticize him for not blogging, but the radio thing ain't bad. Specially for a third show.

I would criticize the pussies he works for however. Naughty swearing no good on the internet? What's the point then? Just put up an adult content warning.

Actually, the first two shows had an adult content warning, which makes the whole thing even more mystifying. I just can't see any of the three principals getting that wildly out of control.

So what are you saying? We weren't good?

Hobgoblin -

A nobody who won a major case at the Oregon Supreme Court, but still a nobody.

The Oregon Supreme Court, you say?

Just kidding. But as they say, I don't come into the courtroom where YOU work and angrily tell you that your jurisprudencehabeuscorpusamicusbriefs ... or whatever ... sucks donkey balls. Right? Mighty warrior?

a semi-funny but sort of amateurish radio skit, a rather inconspicuous little thing on its own, gives birth to hundreds nasty little swordfighting jibes in a comments section.

gotta LOVE the internet!

I didn't get a chance to hear the show, Jeff. I was off doing whatever it is I do for a living. But what's the deal with no replay? Was there a Janet Jackson incident of some kind?

Let's everyone take a chill pill, okay?

These guys were nice enough to invite me on their show. If the show didn't quite click, attribute it to a clash of sensibilities.

"But as they say, I don't come into the courtroom where YOU work and angrily tell you that your jurisprudencehabeuscorpusamicusbriefs ... or whatever ... sucks donkey balls. Right?"

I thought your ego wasn't involved?

John from Wuzzadem:

You say ...

That link-begging line was pretty low, Bill.

... and I say, as low as this?

Somehow I don't think the dissing listeners is gonna work, though - it is impossible to tell them apart. It'd be easier if one of them were funny!

Well is it? As low? Truth be told, Rhiel's comment is the only one that gets under my skin on this thread, for the reasons mentioned above. Him criticizing funny is like Saddam Hussein making a stink about someone's human rights record. Or Freddy Mercury-mustache.

I thought your ego wasn't involved?

Question -

does ego = giving shit back? Because if so, my love for giving people shit in response to bizarrely hostile attacks must indicate I'm a narcissist.

The thing is, I don't much care if you say that we sucked, it's just the hostility and obsequiousness that's a bit odd. Though that also adds something to the circus ...

Bill: Listened to the show. What are management's objections to it? Can you say? Didn't hear anything offensive, myself. Just kinda interested.

"Dick"? They're mad about "Dick"?

You "dick" didn't even register on the naughty meter, though I'm not sure if that says more about me than your "dick."

Bill,

Somehow I don't think the dissing listeners is gonna work, though - it is impossible to tell them apart. It'd be easier if one of them were funny!

Well is it? As low? Truth be told, Rhiel's comment is the only one that gets under my skin on this thread, for the reasons mentioned above. Him criticizing funny is like Saddam Hussein making a stink about someone's human rights record. Or Freddy Mercury-mustache.

I don't get why that comment, of all those written here, gets to you so badly, but fine, it does.

It's criticism, but I don't think it was intended to humiliate or embarrass you. OTOH, the remark I was commenting on (stop sending me e-mails begging for links, please) was, at least in my opinion.

I missed the show, but I'd like to say two things about this thread, if I may.

1. I don't read Bill from Indc's blog, and I thus I'm only familiar with him from threads like this. That having been said, I don't like him. His remark about tossing a little "contrarian water" on the fire here reminded me of someone I know who will always, in any situation, take the opposing argument no matter how stupid this may be. He thinks it makes him look unique and intellectually daring, but behind his back people call him a putz. Florence King used to always pull out a great quote, something to the effect that "a true individualist isn't afraid to wear a mask." Nobody likes thinking of themselves as part of the herd, Bill, but whenever you write anything I catch a whiff of somebody trying too hard.

2. We like being mean, and we like being around other mean people.

I'm a surly sort of guy, but statements like that melt my fucking heart, Megan. I don't hug as a rule, but that was almost enough to make me rethink that policy. Almost.

Well, I think Bill is swell, but I don't know if I appreciate the "contrarian water" remark myself, because, in case anyone hasn't noticed, I'm not really entirely establishment here myself.

Dan Rhiel -

I really don't mind 99.9% of the criticism on this thread (enjoying and anticipated it, in fact), but you ... well, I haven't seen you do a funny post in your entire blogging career. Ever. Everything you do tries so darn hard, and fails miserably. Seriously, you embarrass yourself, and your qualifications to critique are suspect.

And stop sending me e-mails begging for links, please.

Thanks,

Bill

Hey, you fucking jerk-off - post these emails you piece of shit fucking liar. Post them! Because you know goddamned well you're lying. I blocked your e mail because you were such an asshole. How fucking dare you say that. I don't even read your piece of shit blog. SO, post the emails - ass munch. You're about the last juvenile on the Internet I asked for anything. What'sa matter, have trouble writing your script, today? Because the real skinny is you insist on everything being scripted and that's why your show sucks.

Now post all these emails, or shut your stupid fucking mouth, you lying little c)nt. No, wait, I'll post whatever I have ever sent you - since I have probably sent you a couple if they were connected to you in some wayas an FYI.

Well, I'm establishment on the minor things, like war, taxes, abortion, Tom DeLay, judges, and Terri Schiavo.

I am very contrarian and -- dare I say, rebellious -- on the truly important matters, like BJ's.

I think most of you need to take a fucking chill.

You're beginning to sound as whiny and effeminate as me.

I have to say that the only people on Ace's site I've ever said an unkind word to were HundredPercenter and Cedarford. So I don't think previous behavior has much to do with this outpouring of love.

As to Bill's comment re: Riehl. That guy sent me shit every single day for a month, some of which I linked, some I didn't. I've NEVER been anything but kind to him -- and in fact helped him to negotiate a particularly nasty fight between him and another blogger -- and his response to my kindness is to post what he posted on this thread. Didn't bother to put it on MY thread, mind you. Instead, he put it here. Where you could all stroke him.

Well, good on you. For the record, the whole "attack Ace" and "call Glenn" thing was supposed to make US look like a couple of goofy ego maniacs. Because honestly? I never smoked weed with Charles Johnson, or drank wine coolers with Malkin. I should have thought that was obvious.

We were trying to gin up some chatter, but man. I honestly didn't expect this level of vitriol.
Not that I really care anymore, mind you; a few of you whom I thought had a different sensibility have shown me otherwise, and that's fine. But honestly: if you want to listen to a slightly dirtier Hugh Hewitt, I ain't it.

No matter. I suspect we're done after this week anyway. But make no mistake when you go back over this thread how wretched, crazy, and pathetic some of you have been here.

Andrew wrote: I'm a surly sort of guy, but statements like that melt my fucking heart, Megan.

I just find that nice people tend to be nice about the most inane and trivial things, and even then they usually lie about what they think. Because being nice is easy and inconsequential.

But it takes a lot more energy to be mean, so mean people put in the effort only when it's important in some way, and then they tend to tell you exactly what they think. The rest of the time they keep their mouths shut.

Give me mean over nice any day.

All right, all right. Too amped up today.

Everyone's just so damn bitchy lately (myself included)

Bill, I'm still pissed about your bizzaro attacks on the fundies from out of nowhere the other day. That and you saying to Megan that you were trying to be assholish. Angry comedy without context (e.g. on the internet) just comes across as angry. Without the comedy.

Really, constructive criticism and all that. And shit may carry over from previous days, so it's not entirely out of the blue here. I'm glad I'm not getting under your skin, though, as it's not my intent to really piss anyone off. Even being nice to cedarford when he's polite to me. Otherwise, just my normal combative prickitude.

Jeff, I heard you say 3 words. I have no idea the quality of your repartee. Your blog is often funny, inspired, and generally though provoking, so I'll flat out apologize for the "Ted' cracks. I couldn't resist the (un)funny.

Ace I know sucked syphlitic balls (how's that for obsequious), but he's not saying it's part of his "act."

Really, it's weird that the whole right side is catfighting, from nobody loser commenters like me to Wizbang and the Commissar.

It's a bizzare social phenomenon to experience.

How about that for a topic on the radio?

Sad to say, but Goldstein's more-or-less nailed it.

I JUST DON'T GET IT. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?!?!!?!

that's how I feel right now.

It's a surreal afternoon.

Dan Riehl:

Whoa. Take your meds, buddy. We're trying to have fun.

JeffG:

I thought the phone number schtick was kinda funny and essentially good-natured. And you succeeded in flummoxing Ace a bit, which is OK and had some comic value (other than for some of the hard-core Ace acolytes in this thread).

But make no mistake when you go back over this thread how wretched, crazy, and pathetic some of you have been here.

Jeez, are you taking us seriously? You've been here before. You should know better.

Yes. I've been here before. And I can tell the difference between the serious attacks and the ribbing. And trust me -- after seeing some of the folks here rally around their sickle-wielding master, I can see why Ace is so intent on hiding his identity.

Otherwise, just my normal combative prickitude.

Prickitude? PRICKITUDE????

LOL

JeffG

For the record, the whole "attack Ace" and "call Glenn" thing was supposed to make US look like a couple of goofy ego maniacs. Because honestly? I never smoked weed with Charles Johnson, or drank wine coolers with Malkin. I should have thought that was obvious.

That was the only stuff I heard, and I guess ace's own pussiness, combined with his getting blindsided by this angle of attack just made it sound more creepy and less "goofy."

As Bill more than adequately and correctly noted, though, I can't even begin to try to tell you how to do your job (bring teh funny)

Combined with Bill's recent meanspirited jabs, I though you guys were just being cocklords. It's not that you were "picking on Ace." Who fucking cares, he's a grown man. But being a dick isn't cool.

Guess I was wrong. My bad.

I apologize for taking far too much offense at a pointless bit of knavery.

I often misunderstand people over the internet, though (and in real life) Thank God my wife can read my mind.

(but um, Jeff, your folks have done more than a little "rallying" in your stead as well)

Jeff G,

First, grow some skin, dude. I have never said anything about your blog and talent but that it is brilliant. And, yeah, I sent you things, as opposed to Bill, which is an entirely different matter - if I sent him something it was for a reason. But, everyday for a month to you? Hardly. And you know that.

And have I EVER said boo to you because I sent along somehting I thought you might like, and for all I know you never even read it? NO. I never even asked. And it didn't stop me from dropping $35 bucks into your blog beg, um, what, the week before you posted "A final moment of unabashed pragmatism Yeah. Screw all this. "

And the FACT is if you go up and read my comments they aren't bad, for heaven's sake, unless you're a total girl. Read it. I said "it was fine. the radio deal is a Work in Progress and they need room to work with it. . . It'd be easier if one of them were funny! But they're in an entirely new medium - that has to be hard as a bitch to learn on the fly.

And on the dissing thing, I said you might not have established the personalities to make it work, yet. Jeff, if that is the type of criticism that warrants what has been said about me here by you and Bill - you guys are in the wrong game. Try softball - girls softball, at that.
Here's my entire comments as per above - you have to be freaking kidding me ...
Man, that was just like the old Jack Benny radio hour. Only without the radio ... and without Jack Benny.

Actually, I thought it was fine. I've been trying to listen in each week and was going to do a general review of the radio show ... but I already have enough enemies.

I figure the radio gig is a WIP for Bill and Jeff and they need some room to work with it. Somehow I don't think the dissing listeners is gonna work, though - it is impossible to tell them apart. It'd be easier if one of them were funny! But they're in an entirely new medium - that has to be hard as a bitch to learn on the fly.

Hob,

On the dissing listens/ readers/ thing. In my opinion for it to work, there also has to be some self-deprecation that balances it out and makes the whole thing work. Even Stern does it if you noticed.

Could be that they haven't established that on the radio to get you to buy into the other piece, or it could be wrong for the personalities. But it's more than just one factor.

Looks at how nasty Rickles used to be ( if you're that old) but he was such a schlumpy looking character, it was actually funny. If a Steven Wright tried to do that, he'd get his ass-kicked every night.

And trust me -- after seeing some of the folks here rally around their sickle-wielding master, I can see why Ace is so intent on hiding his identity.

Well, OK, this blog is much more of a cult than yours, or Bill's for that matter. It's part of the appeal -- you get to interact with some genuine wackos. The Paul fanatics at Wizbang sort of have the same thing going, but they're more religious wackos than blowjob aficionados (and I'm OK with that, being a serious bible-thumper myself).

Anyway, I check your site every day and enjoy it immensely. Thanks, and please don't be discouraged.

And Bill, isn't it about time for another moonbat photo essay?

Dan --

Coming over to Ace's site and suggesting either Bill or I had to get funny...dick move. I'm not upset. I don't to grow a skin. I'm fine. I just pointed out the kind of incivility I thought was unwarranted.

End of conversation.

Michael,

you get to interact with some genuine wackos

you're welcome

=)

Jeff G wrote: Because honestly? I never smoked weed with Charles Johnson, or drank wine coolers with Malkin. I should have thought that was obvious.

Oh, for... look, I said I was done, but honestly.

You're just asking for it now, y'know? Like what, you mean you don't really have Instapundit's phone number either? You weren't really out drinking with him just last night? Boy, do I feel dumb! Hyuk!

Jesus.

Look. "You suck" isn't "vitriol." "Love your blog, but what the hell were you thinking this afternoon?" isn't the prelude to some kind of gay limp-wristed online feud. "I was bored" is not the equivalent of "I hope you catch AIDS and die."

I called you incompetent. Several people agreed; several people disagreed. And your defense is to call everyone who didn't like your show, and said so, "wretched, crazy, and pathetic?" Your answer is to pretend it was all an act, that you were TRYING to piss people off by coming off as blithering cretins without a single informative, entertaining, or otherwise worthwhile thing to say?

Fascinating, psychologically. Convincing? Not so much.

Saying Ace has a good blog, saying that you didn't take advantage of Ace's strengths, this is "obsequious fellatio?" Give me a fucking break, okay? And stuff the inane condescension in your shoe. I don't want Ace's fucking love-child. I just like the way the man writes. Take that "cult" bullshit and sit on it.

Seriously now: your jokes didn't go over our heads.

We didn't like the way they bounced off our ankles.

Because believe me. No one REALLY thought you were calling Glenn Reynolds. And what's more, no one cared. Because whether or not you had got blasted with God himself, you had NOTHING to say about it. Your show NOT entertaining, informative, or otherwise worthwhile.

If that seems hard to accept, put a paper bag over your head and take slow, deep breaths.

You were not competent. Some of us pointed that out. Now before you go off on another crying jag, let me remind you that that DOESN'T mean we want you to get AIDS and die. We don't want you to stop writing. Hell, most of us would probably even give you another shot at the show if you gave SOME indication that you might put a little more goddamn effort into it.

We're not out to fucking "get" you. We just didn't like the fucking show, dipshit.

Christ.

"bbeck, he wishes....;-)"

LOL. Well, don't we all?

Later,
bbeck

you're welcome

Wouldn't be the same without you, partner. :>)

Jeff G,

\Listen up, please. If my remarks offended, I apologize. This is a snarky comment area - and I did lead with and include some snarky stuff. However, I also assumed you would read it. It wasn't an attempt to go behind your back. Hell, he was on your show - why wouldn't you read this thread?

Try to understand the what you might be reading that seems a little tough was really just snark around some facts.

As I told Jeff B - I wanted to do a review of the show - not to dis it, but to help get the word out as I have been listening and thought it would be cool if it worked.

It was intemperate of me to say the "lose some friends" comment, fair enough. What I really meant and had decided was that you guys needed more time to see if it would work because, yes, honestly, I feel some things aren't working but, hell, as I qualified my every remark - it's a big transition and you should have time to work on it.

If that came across wrong - my bad - I'll own up to that. But if I wnated to say bad things about someone behind their back - I'd hardly do it here, or in any comment thread.

Maybe I was loose in my language, and if I was, some folks seem to be a little thin skinned, I'm sorry, but that's how it looks to me - even given my remarks - which were more jerking around, as opposed to the clear qualifiers I said and said again in my comments.

well, well, well ... you "MEN" sound like a bunch of 8th grade girls. Are you sure you guys don't have boobies?

Bill INDC: "You have smelly toe jam"

hobgoblin: (congrats on the court case win) "oh yeah, well...well...my bow is pretty than yours and has sparkly stuff on it and everyone likes me better than you".

Rhiel: "well you are a big fat *&%$ and Ace likes me better and we are BFF - Best Friends Forever.

ahhh, junior high. Good times...good times.

If you guys could do a quick check of yourself for proper body parts and report back to me...

*Deep cleansing breaths*

OK, all hold hands and sing:

"Koom By Yah, my Lord, Koom By Yah . . ."

I'm guessing Megan's use of the royal we means she feels nice and insolated throwing bombs from the comfort of this thread.

Keep going, honey. Maybe the boys here will accept you if you just, y'know, turn it up a notch.

NOTICE ME, ACE! I CAN SLAM WITH THE BIG DOGS. NOTICE MEEEEEE>

Christ. I don't think I've ever said a word to you before this, yet look at how you spoke to me? One of the pitfalls of being a bitter, dried out internet hag, I guess.

bbeck, awww...sweet.

If I ever do decide to become a stalker, I'm looking you up...;-)

If I ever do decide to become a stalker, I'm looking you up...;-)

RWS:

Stalk me. Send email, I will give you my home address. I have Sniiiiiiiickers . . .

Gee, RWS, I've never had a FEMALE one before. Should be good...

And Jeff, in case you haven't noticed, we're now in the Chilling Out Stage...

Later,
bbeck

HEY, Michael, me first!

Later,
bbeck

One of the pitfalls of being a bitter, dried out internet hag, I guess.

Ace:

KumByYah didn't work. I'm out of ideas. I hereby resign as you self-appointed thread pacifier.

Jeff G wrote (in summary): "You're old and ugly, you have no life, you want attention, and you're attacking me just because you think it's safe!"

Oh, please.

Yeah, Jeff, I think I'll get a nice shiny gold sticker on my Trapper Keeper if Ace takes note of my comments among the 300+ he's had today. Y'all got me pegged. Guess none of the, y'know, facts that were brought to your attention were worth responding to. I'm just a dried-out hag, that's the ticket. Yup. Dissing my sexuality, well, that sure learned me my lesson! Guess I'll take my ball and go on home now. Guess I really can't run with the big dogs!

Just a quick, probably irrelevant question: have you noticed anyone attacking you personally? Or attacking Bill personally? Like, I mean, calling you names, or saying you're (to take a random example) pathetic and crazy?

Because if someone did, I sure missed it. And in the inexplicable absence of such insults, your response is to employ them yourself, as quickly as possible?

Mmkay then.

HEY, Michael, me first!

bbeck:

Send email, will reply with home address. I promise, no evasive moves, and frequent detours into dark alleys.

Good night all. I'm going to dinner with wife, daughter, and kid-who-is-probably-boinking-my-daughter-and-wants-to-make-good-impression. Should be an interesting evening.

I think Megan missed out on the whole Chilling Out Stage, too...

Ah! Darling Megan! Mouth like a cesspool brighten your day? Pay to have friends?

bbeck: There was quite a length of time while Bill was still arguing with Hob, well before Jeff showed up, when I'd stopped responding entirely. Ace specifically asked everyone to cool it, so I did.

But frankly, if a show's going to be that lame, and one of the hosts then has the gall to imply that everyone who thought it was lame was just too stupid to get the oh-so-witty jokes... well, I'm sorry, but I don't have that much patience.

Diana asked: Ah! Darling Megan! Mouth like a cesspool brighten your day? Pay to have friends?

Are you saying you want to be my friend and talk dirty to me? What happened to buying a girl a drink first?

Anon -

Not even on a very, very dark day.

Color me crushed.

Megan--

I wrote, "No matter. I suspect we're done after this week anyway. But make no mistake when you go back over this thread how wretched, crazy, and pathetic some of you have been here."

SOME people have been wretched, crazy, and pathetic., I said. Some.

And by SOME people, I mean you, and maybe one or two others.

Whatever.

C'mon, Megan. Bring the sassy!

JeffG

So, Megan, Dan, and . . .

Bill?

/runs

For those interested, Daily Recycler has agreed to host the show for us. The folks at Rightalk weren't comfortable with "schlong" or "dick" or something in Spanish about fucking a dog.

Here is the link: http://www.dailyrecycler.net/audio/4D3_050414_24K.mp3

Jeff... you really need to learn when to let things lie. If you're that desperate for another response from me, go check your own blog.

Jeff, I love your site and will continue to read it, but seriously: this feigned "I'm so fucking insouciant" attitude doesn't wash. If you really don't give a rat's ass then why are you still farting around in this thread? I don't particularly care about what did or didn't happen on the radio show, but I was actually pretty sympathetic to you until you pulled out that line about how Ace is so steadfast about maintaining his anonymity; the presumption was, of course, that everyone commenting here is a drooling, subhuman myrmidon. As opposed to whom? The folks over at your site talking about playing the "Citizen Journalist" drinking game?

Seriously, you've gotten a few pretty decent tongue-lashings from Megan already. Quit while you're not too far behind.

So is Dan going to be the guest next week?

Cuz I will set my Tivo for that.

My response to Bill is in my url with this comment, I think I'll leave it on my blog at the top for a while.

Damn, this thread has even more unintentional comedy than this one.

Pile On - I'd do the show in a heartbeat. LOL Actually, I'd love to get little Billy face to face, voice to voice, whatever.

You potty mouths don't even realize what's offensive anymore.

Michael, you SEE why this is my guilty pleasure????

I think it's more that we potty-mouths don't really care what's offensive. That's why we're potty-mouths in the first place.

I'm just saying. There is a place for everything. This is obviously the place for potty mouths, but Rightalk radio was obviously not.

Gotta learn the when and where folks.

Fair enough. :)

Andrew --

What are you, the comment police?

Listen: I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Unless you're referring to the joke I made about Ace wanting to stay anonymous so that he doesn't find some of the folks from this thread camped on his doorstep, begging him to sign a t-shirt.

Is that it? Because I'm fairly sure you'll find that quite tame compared to some of the shit aimed at me.

Give me mean over nice any day.

I think it's more that we potty-mouths don't really care what's offensive. That's why we're potty-mouths in the first place.

if I wanted cute I'd buy a goddamn puppy

Only because Bill's acting like a kid who pisses his pants, slips and falls in the puddle and then yells "I MEANT to do that!"

This is the best thread I've read all day.

Megan, you really need to start a blog.

Thanks (I think). I did try to write a tiny one once (and Allah even linked me one night!), and I think it's still up, but I have a very short attention span. I doubt a second attempt would fare much better.

I was being serious. I would read a blog you wrote - you have the power to do some righteous rants.

I laughed my you-know-what off reading this thread earlier.

Well, that's flattering. Thanks. :) Here's a link to the post I wrote after the election. I posted there under Morrigan for a while, so browse if you feel like it and you'll come across a few more thoughts I jotted down.

More importantly, you lost. We kicked your collective ass with ease, we made you cry, and we looked damn good doing it. I hope it really, really hurts, because I feel wonderful today.

In the words of Insty...heh.

Good stuff.

NB: Adam Yoshida's post-election thoughts were much better expressed, though. Read him if you haven't already.

That was good. I'd never read him before.

I'll have to put that blog on the regular visit list. Thanks for the recommendation.

Welcome. :) Hey, whaddaya know, I've still got the minimalist wallpaper I put together from back then too. Let me know if you'd like it.

Jesus.

The last two days have been strange and surreal in my real life, with accidents and bad happenings and people at each others throats for no reason.

Then I log on here tonight just for a smile before beddy-bye.

Eek.
I guess its everywhere.
Goodnight darling hearts and a better tomorrow.

Hey, I had fun tonight.

Megan:

I think Slublog is coming on to you. Forget him. Stalk me! I can tell you are a naughty girl.

Go to a bar, Michael. I don't swing your way. :)

I think Slublog is coming on to you.

Heh. You make me sound like the geeky brother on Napoleon Dynamite. I'm nothing like him, except for the fact that I'm thin, wear glasses and spend a lot of time on the computer. Other than that, though...

Happily married. But if you're looking for a stalker, I'm sure someone here can help you out.

But if you're looking for a stalker, I'm sure someone here can help you out.

I'm not so sure. So far I have struck out with RWS, bbeck and Megan. It's just not so easy to get women to victimize you. Especially when they think you are a nancy-boy who wears a tux.

Well, calling a dinner jacket a "tux" would strike you out with me every time, even if I liked boys.

It's just not so easy to get women to victimize you. Especially when they think you are a nancy-boy who wears a tux.

I thought that's why we bought ACE t-shirts...to make us look like manly men.

Michael, you misunderstood my post earlier. See, I have dibs on RWS to stalk ME first. I wasn't ever planning on me stalking you.

But now that you mention it, let me think about it and I'll get back to you.

Later,
bbeck

The Great Train Wreck has been talked to death, but Ace needs to start putting up a few more trivial, content-free posts for people to zoom off on. These 100+ comment threads are starting to make the place look like Little Green Footballs.

Not that bad yet, surely.

I was talking about the length, not the content. Although the radio-show post mortem was starting to sound a little culty. Next thing you know, buying shirts will become mandatory. "The guys WILL get shirts."

Meh. You'd think a cult would spend less time calling Ace "just vaguely sucky only in comparison" at best.

You've got a point. Our Fearless Leader doesn't seem to arouse much hero-worship from the faithful, does he?

Still, I thought the latter parts of the debate had a whiff of villagers with torches and pitchforks about them. No question, Bill was getting into the role of the mad scientist, leaning over the parapets and making faces while going "BWA-ha-ha-ha!"

This isn't about worship for me. This is totally about the crazy blog money Ace keeps promising to send my way.

Yup, crazy blog money.

Any day now.

Well, the Ace of Spades fashion line is off to a pretty shaky start, and that's got to make the "crazy blog money" look a little iffy. If the Ace of Spades Micro-Wav'n Noodle Cups don't catch on, he may start looking for another line of work entirely.

I know I blog for the crazy blog money.

I wonder if I could make money stalking???

Well, Michael is looking for a stalker...

whats the pay, ya think?

I'm not sure of the going rate...is there a union?

I have Sniiiiiiiiickers -- lots of Sniiiiiiiiickers!

Okay, Michael, I've thought about it, and first thing: I prefer Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Get on it.

Later,
bbeck