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April 07, 2005

There's This Liberal Friend I Have...

Taking a page (or at least eight column-inches) from Art Buchwald, The Waterglass attempts to understand the liberal mindset by inventing a straw-man and then putting all sorts of ludicrous claims in his mouth.

Why isn't The Waterglass on the WaPo opinion page, too?

PS, a "liberal friend" I just made up -- Whiney McBleedingheart, his name is -- just told me that the two things most important to him in the upcoming Hillary! administration were 1) developing and marketing "a car that runs on love" and 2) drive-through abortions.

So that's what liberals are really all about. And my sources on this are impeccable. And by "sources," I mean the frightening voices in my head telling me to do all sorts of terrible things to people and property, horrors involving "gasoline and rags" and "fishing tackle."


posted by Hoke at 01:34 PM
Comments



Drive-thru abortions? Classic.

Would you like some fires with that D&C?

Posted by: Max Power on April 7, 2005 01:58 PM

Keep in mind that the clerk at the drive thru abortionist better be paid more than minimum wage, or there will be hell to pay.

Posted by: NickS on April 7, 2005 02:03 PM

Quit posting as Hoke. Haven't you made us suffer enough as it is?

Posted by: Bob on April 7, 2005 02:14 PM

I actually have two Liberal friends, one very close. I've found that one can be reasoned with (after a mountain of evidence accumulates) and the other is typically Liberal Irrational. The first is busy and successful and I attribute his Liberalism to being brainwashed in the 70's, doing too much drugs in the 80's to grow up, and working too hard to pay much attention from then on. And, oh yes, he works in IT.

Liberal no. 2 I could say much the same thing about, except to add that he's the uneducated, blue collar union type - the very worst kind. The east is full of low-class ginnie and pig-shit irish union democrats and they're as ignorant and stupid as the dumbest redneck in Texas. So is this guy, but we have a lot in common (hunting and target shooting) and he can be funny. But there is no point in trying to change the minds of these type Liberals, they're too ignorant to know how ignorant they are and they dont care to change.

Which brings us to Liberal no. 3, the blue-blooded Liberal type. I know a Liberal from a wealthy family who grew up commuting between Cape Cod and here in Houston. Though a genuinely nice guy, he has the typical Boston-Brahmin-we-know-better-than-all-of-you-and-what-you-think-doesn't-matter-its-only-what-we-think-that-matters, attitude. Living in Houston he tries not to display it, but his unquestioning absoloute conviction that the only reason you don't agree with him is that it hasn't been explained to you well enough yet is grating. Recently he spoke of being mystified as to why Reagan's Tear Down This Wall speech had such an impact, he thought it silly at the time!!! But the salient feature of this type of Liberal is that he actually believes that there is no such thing as morality and that its all to get elected and keep power. Oh, and to "protect the people" from evil corporations and the military industrial complex. Very Bill Clinton. This type has an unshakable belief that, as in the movie Primary Colors Bill Clinton says, "our ideas are better than their ideas." And just like Bill, they're never considering what you're saying, because you are saying it must be wrong and they're too busy thinking about how to prove you wrong, not whether or not you could be right. I get a sense that it's all a big game to this guy. But at least this type is honest enough to know they're immoral and full of shit, they just think everyone else is too.

Posted by: 72VIRGINS on April 7, 2005 03:38 PM
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