Canada is like the little kid whose older brother is captain of the football team and on the honor roll, so he's always whining and complaining no one pays attention to him.

But we need to someplace to send our draft-dodgers and soc-ialists, so I say we keep Canada around, at least for the next few years.

OK, so the filter accepts "pussy" and "cocksucking" but not "socia-list," apparently because unlike "pussy" and "cocksucking" the other word contains "c-ialis".

TallDave:
That happens a lot due to modern filtering. Just call them "Commie Lite" or somesuch.

Of course, the S-Word and C-whatchamacallit have a lot in common. Puffing up things that would otherwise be useless, for example.

ACE - Great Post! Great answers, but the questions show that:

The mind of a Liberal is a terrible thing and should be wasted.

(And I mean that in the best possible way, Kumbaya.)

If more Canadians would take the trouble to read Atlas Shrugged, they'd find another useful piece of advice:

"It is not advisable, James, to venture onsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the emabarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener."

Aarghh--

"Embarrassing"--how appropriate. I know, I know, PIMF.

Ace-- you wouldn't love that Ayn Rand line if a chick used it on you.

Trust me, then it sucks. Sucks HARD.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Now that I think about it, Ayn Rand might have gotten that line from Casablanca--

Ugarte: "You despise me, don't you?"

Rick: "If I gave you any thought I probably would."

I always rather liked Robertson Davies' theory of Columbia as the adventurous daughter who broke free of Britain, and Canada as the Good Daughter Who Stayed At Home. After a hundred years or so, when Columbia was doing well for herself, Canada got rather resentful that Mother Dearest was paying just as much attention to her, despite her disobedience. Canada does seem to have a bit of the spirit of the elder brother in "The Prodigal Son." "Damn it, I stuck around and you won't PRAISE me enough for it!"

I know. We should make Canada our 51st state. Except for Quebec. We have to replace Vieques with something, and it's probably better if the replacement isn't part of an actual state.

Ace:

That was about the funniest piece I've read in a long time from The Weekly Standard. Fred Barnes couldn't do that no matter how hard he tried.

Here's a rule of thumb for some things Canadian, and it works quite well on many measures:

If you want to know how many things there in Canada (McDonald's branches, cars, etc.), just mulitply the number that exists in the US by 0.1 or 10%. Call it the 10% rule. It's remarkably accurate, within about 10% or 20% tolerance. And that's not too shabby. Doesn't always work, but usually works, when one limits the thing being estimated to items like cell phones, etc.

Some Examples (all from CIA world fact book):

Population (2004 est):
US: 293,028,000
Canada: 32,508,000

Telephones-main lines in use (2003 est):
US: 181,599,900
Canada: 19,950,900

Mobile Phones (2003 est):
US: 158,722,000
Canada: 13,221,800

AM Radio Stations (2003 est):
US: 4,762
Canada: 535

Internet Users (2002 est):
US: 159 million
Canada: 16.11 million

Airports with paved runways (2004 est):
US: 5,128
Canada: 503

GDP (2003 est):
US: $10.99 trillion
Canada: $958.7 billion

Key areas where this rule doesn't apply too well:

GDP Per-Capita (2003 est):
US: $37,800
Canada: $29,800

Military Expenditures (2003 est):
US: $370.7 billion
Canada: $9,801.7 million

So: Canadians have 10% of America's shit culture (I love our shit culture, and clearly they do too), but only 3% of our valor. And they have 21% less per-capita income than us. Kind of tells the story all by itself.

But they get free healthcare.

One final silly note: Perhaps in Canada, where euthanasia is probably tolerated and perhaps encourage, do they rely on the killer whales to finish the job (rock-sausage line from the Weekly Standard column, for those that read the whole thing)?

>OK, so the filter accepts "pussy" and "cocksucking" but not "socia-list," apparently because unlike "pussy" and "cocksucking" the other word contains "c-ialis".

Of course. "socia-list" is an objectionable word.

Tourism Campaign Slogans for Canada:

"Canada - it's America.....lite!"

"Canada - good enough for Canadians"