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« Boy Howdy, How Liberal Pressies Love Mouthing Off To Foreign Audiences | Main | Democracy Has Decolletage »
March 13, 2005

Filet-O-Fish Update

I read him so you don't have to.

Well, actually, I don't read him either. Rather, other people read him and send me emails about what he's up to, and then I tell you what they read, so that you don't have to.

What's ol' Ollie up to now? Well, he's running a banner every day demanding that Brit Hume resign from FoxNews. He's up to day 32 or something.

Dog with a bone. Or, more accurately, Oliver Willis with a free Roast Beef Classic coupon from Arby's.

A while ago Slublog sent me this photoshop parody of Ollie's "Resign, Brit" banner.

I've finally gotten around to posting it... improving it, of course, with my most favoritest soundbite in the whole wide world:

payattention.jpg
Click on the pic to call him a dick.

Update: Celluloid Protein Wisdom covers this important story a little, before seguing into some trivial shit about Israel threatening to strike Iranian nuke facilities.

Dude, no one cares about that. All anyone wants to know is: "What's on Oliver Willis' mind, and what can we all collectively do to please him?"


posted by Ace at 09:24 PM
Comments



So seriously, is Ollie gay? Because that picture just screams it from the mountain top. Not that there's anything wrong with that since he's a tool for the left. I'm just wondering.

Posted by: michael dennis on March 13, 2005 10:23 PM

The guy looks like Jaba the Hut's ugly sister.

Posted by: D. Carter on March 13, 2005 10:51 PM

Oliver banned me from posting on his site,
His email said i had nothing of value to add.

The last straw was when Oliver posted a new message about Bush being the "Torturer in chief" It had the typical picture of the slouched over hooded Abu Ghraib prisoner in brown garb.


So I posted this comment:


Hey isn't that a picture of one of Notre Dames fraternity pledges last semester?
Oh wait, It's one of Bush's atrocities, THE SHAME!!
His head is still attached so it's definitely one of our prisoners.
Sometimes I lay awake at night just knowing that this guy probably missed out on his gym time that day.
I hope that's not burlap, that stuff is itchy."


My comment was subsequently deleted and I was bannished from the Kingdom of Oliverwillis.com forever!!

Oliver, however, maintains that he is a champion of free speech and dissent..

I can't wait to see how high the Brit counter goes up to?

Posted by: nerdwallet on March 13, 2005 11:34 PM
Posted by: Dave G on March 13, 2005 11:40 PM

It's like I said over at PW...AMERICAN TRUTH IS UNDER SIEGE! DEMOCRATIC REPRESENTATIVES LOUISE SLAUGHTER AND CHARLES RANGEL MUST FORM A COMMITTEE TO INVESTIGATE POSSIBLE FDR MISQUOTES!

Bringing down the 8" GAY PORN COCK OF LIES was only the first step.

Posted by: Sean M. on March 14, 2005 03:36 AM

wow! even his head is shaped like a dick...head...

Posted by: on March 14, 2005 03:51 AM

I don't know who this "Oliver" is, but I do know that this photo of Michael Moore with a tan and clean shaven is a big improvement over his old slovenly, dissheveled look. Glad he lost the baseball cap too.

Posted by: Buckley F. Williams on March 14, 2005 08:18 AM

What could you do to please Oliver, Ace?

Why, you could review his novel.


http://www.oliverwillis.com/sleaze/2004/09/chapter-1.php


_________________________________________

Sleaze - Oliver Willis -

Chapter 1

He looked like Mister All-American. Dudley-Do-Right chin, big, gleaming pearly whites, and cobalt blue eyes that made girls melt in seconds. He flexed his muscles. Mimicked Governor Arnold – before the political campaign, but on the 'roids. He pulled down his jockeys, gave her an eyeful.

Envy filled the room. The crew wanted what he had. Wanted HIS job. They were poor schlubs, working nine-to-five. Double indignity: porno sets didn't work union guys. Underpaid, uninsured, unappreciated. Then All-American whips himself out and horse whinnies are all over the place.

She was on all fours on the bed. Fake nails. Fake hair. Fake breasts. Her lust: half fake/half real. She was into him. Into it. Into the act. Her blood red heels shot skyward. He grabbed hold of her ankles. They got down. They got dirty. Spit and sweat made the sheets damp. The cameras got every little detail. Digital lenses zoomed in, capturing it all for replay on the screens of pervs from coast to coast.

Big moan from the girl. He grunted as the job got done. Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. They were all at the mercy of the camera. When it was satisfied, life could move on.

"Cut". Frank Gaynor: child prodigy/gambler/ rofessional pornographer. He was well-tanned, well-groomed, well-coiffed. Frank would have been at home on Wall Street with his knowledge of the markets combined with a keen sense of style. Before he had cut out of college, before he had built his mansion in the Hills with the endless stream of bikini bunnies lounging in his football-shaped pool, Frank had considered going corporate. He worked it out. He crunched the numbers. Wall Street was drowning in money in the mid-nineties. Dotcom cash as far as the eye could see. It was just sitting there, waiting to get plucked. But, something bothered him about it. Frank wasn't industrious, but that green was just too easy to make. It was a scam. It was a Ponzi scheme. It was brilliant.

.......
___________________________________

It's like O.Henry came back, filmed Raymond Chandler fisting Dorothy Chandler on a porno set, and then wrote about it.

Or something .....

I don't know.

neither does he.

Posted by: BumperStickerist on March 14, 2005 09:20 AM

... um, Dorothy Parker .. not Dorothy Chandler ....

I was still recovering ....

Posted by: BumperStickerist on March 14, 2005 09:22 AM

Willis is what I like to call an Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.

Posted by: Tom Heard on March 14, 2005 09:23 AM

Nerdwallet, you are a martyr for free speech, and a prime example of the hypocrisy of the left.

Tom Heard, that word coinage is brilliant!

Posted by: DWC on March 14, 2005 10:02 AM

All anyone wants to know is: "What's on Oliver Willis' mind, and what can we all collectively do to please him?"
Dued, you're so wrong! All anyone cares about is the GIANT GAY PORN COCK OF DOOM! Oh, and the HYPOCRISY!

Posted by: Emperor Misha I on March 14, 2005 10:12 AM

Fun facts about Oliver Willis

1. Oliver Willis is a mammal.

2. Oliver Willis bitches ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the Oliver Willis is to flip out and embarrass himself.

Posted by: Dave @ Fat Kid's on March 14, 2005 10:31 AM

realultimatepower kicks @ss.

Posted by: fat kid on March 14, 2005 12:56 PM

Like Kryptonite to Salad

Posted by: Jim Treacher on March 14, 2005 01:23 PM

He just has that self-satisfied smirk of someone who enjoys sucking cock.
Why does he have that gif of superman about to fist someone? Is getting fisted by an all-powerful whiteman a fantasy of his?

Posted by: Iblis on March 14, 2005 02:57 PM

He wants McDonald's gift cerificates. Now. Before he eats your family.

Posted by: SGT Dan on March 14, 2005 08:10 PM
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