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« Turkey Warms To Federated Iraq | Main | Higher Heels, Shorter Skirts: Pink Revolution Hits Iran »
March 08, 2005

Al Gore: Human Pinata

And while you're at TKS, the next post down is his take on the what must be the lamest f'n' scoop in history: the news that Al Gore will not seek, and will not accept, his party's nomination for President in 2008.

His take is my take: giggles.

Here's another scoop for Chris Matthews: I, Ace of Spades, seek to dampen the groundswell of enthusiasm for a Draft-Ace movement in 2008, and I also decline to serve as this country's president.

What. A. Pathetic. Joke.

Al Gore has about as much frigging chance of being president as Al Goldstein. At least Goldstein's porn-show (Midnight Blue, I think) and magazine (the subtly-named Screw) give him some sort of a viable platform from which to speak to the public.

Gore, meanwhile, has his only some sort of nickle-and-dime mutant hybrid of CNN and MTV... which is going to get lower ratings than any of the shows on Telemundo that don't feature busty Latinas in low-cut sequin dresses. (There must be one or two such shows, I imagine.)

I don't want to say that Gore's political career is dead, but it just went off on an Oscar-bait crying jag, confessing to its heinous crimes while being comforted by Susan Sarandon in a nun's habit.

Sigh. Now, I've been searching for months for a wav of the old Howard Stern musical stinger that goes You -- stupid -- diii-iiick!

This is one of the many times I wish I could link it.

If anyone has this: please send it my way. I really need it. There are a lot of stupid dicks out there who have great need of a musical introduction proclaiming that fact.


posted by Ace at 08:23 PM
Comments



And then Brer Rabbit said "Pleeeeeeeease Brer
Fox. Pleeeeeease don't throw me in the briar patch over there!"

Posted by: gail on March 8, 2005 08:37 PM

You just don't get it...the power of Karl Rove. First he has AGore drop out, then he has Hillary....., well I don't want to spoil the story, you figure it out.

Posted by: The Old Coot on March 8, 2005 09:18 PM

Ummm..Al Gore may be a human pinata, but if so, you get to keep anything that falls out.

Posted by: senator philabuster on March 8, 2005 09:33 PM

Isn't Al Goldstein a homeless guy in NYC now? I'd swear I read an article recently saying he'd been picked up for shoplifting and he'd lost all of his money.

Posted by: michael dennis on March 8, 2005 09:46 PM

What's gonna happen when Karl Rove dies? You think the Republican party with Gannonize him?

Posted by: fat kid on March 8, 2005 10:32 PM

Yeah, md. I thought maybe he was dead, so I googled him and found it in the New York Times: here.
All in all, I figure Goldstein bounces back before the Inventor Of The Internet.

Posted by: DarthVAda on March 8, 2005 10:36 PM

And you'll notice if you read that article that Al Goldstein has actually lost weight.

Posted by: Sean M. on March 8, 2005 11:26 PM

Ace,

Of course the idea of Al Gore is just plain funny, that's a given. But it wasn't just fun and games:

"Democrats put Hillary Clinton first with 30 percent. Interestingly, Al Gore comes in second with 20 percent. Kerry follows at 17 percent, trailed by Edwards, with 5 percent. This should add more fuel to Gore’s fire."

I was hoping like hell there was something to this.

Posted by: the UNPOPULIST on March 9, 2005 02:45 AM

Hillary vs Gore? The nominal "wife" of the most low down scumbag ever to sit in the White House will steamroll over Gore with her mob connections. Anyone who had Vince Foster and many others killed (or maybe he did it) will stomp on Gore like a roach on cement.

Posted by: 72prunes on March 9, 2005 09:37 AM

Stupid, Stupid Dick. Try http://www.netaxs.com/~nukefish/vincent.htm

Posted by: KC on March 9, 2005 09:39 AM

This is remarkable. As of election night Two Thousand, Albert Gore, Junior, D-Tenn, recieved a higher percentage of popular votes and any democratic since Lyndon Johnson, save maybe Jimmy Carter. Gore recieved more votes than any canidate named Clinton ever recieved.

Yet less than six years later, Gore has morphed himself into a hopeless and unelectable figure, and yet another Clinton stands ready of recieve the democratic mantle. Go figure.

And the democrats talk about G.W.B. frittering away the surplus.

Posted by: David L on March 9, 2005 10:14 AM

On a lighter note I must say that being an ass-man (please no juvenile cracks) the ass of the girl in ThoseShirts.com is spectacular! It reminds me of my ex, who they named the movie Dirty Pretty Thing after.

Posted by: 72VIRGINS on March 9, 2005 12:22 PM

I guess some of you don't watch Chris Matthews on Softball for Democrats. You would ahve thought he was announcing the capture of UBL.

He was practically panting as if this was somehow earth-shattering news for the donks.

Perhaps Chris was just trying to impress all 12 of us who watch is his crappy little show because it was obvious when Algore backed Howard Dean that he was done in American politics even if one chose to ignore the fact that he personally marginalized every donk in the country with the 2000 election spectacle of hypocracy.

Posted by: Clint Lovell on March 12, 2005 12:52 PM
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