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February 16, 2005
I'm Gonna Make Like a Tree and SplitHopefully I can catch the 6:20. Several of you asked to meet for drinks. I didn't mean to ignore you; I've just been super-busy. I'll try contacting you guys about that, time permitting. And I'm still working to get out the rest of those thank you's. Thank you so much for your generosity in supporting the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM). Finally-- Haiku winners. They're coming. Promise! posted by Ace at 05:30 PM
Commentsmake alike a dick and head out? Posted by: hobgoblin on February 16, 2005 05:50 PM
Have fun down there. Don't be too nice to Wonkette. Posted by: someone on February 16, 2005 05:53 PM
Are you kidding? Be extra nice, just to see if you can squeeze one of those "enhanced" tittahs. Posted by: hobgoblin on February 16, 2005 06:00 PM
Take cues from this classic post. Posted by: someone on February 16, 2005 06:28 PM
In the interest of saving time, can you just give us your credit card number so we can get the drinks? Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on February 16, 2005 06:53 PM
Have fun! *listens to Ace whining* Listen to me, young man, I don't care if all the other boys f*** her up the a**, if all the other boys jumped off a bridge would you do it too? There now, its settled, and I better not hear another word about her inflated chi-chis. *clips mittens to cuffs, pins $5 inside jacket* Ok, have a good time. *sniffle* They grow up so fast! Posted by: lauraw on February 16, 2005 08:03 PM
There once was a blogger named Ace Posted by: sentinel on February 16, 2005 09:52 PM
Don't rush the haiku Posted by: Baron on February 16, 2005 10:49 PM
While Ace is away Posted by: lauraw on February 17, 2005 09:43 AM
Make like a tree and split? Yikes! You should make like an egg and beat it. (puleeeeze no dirty talk) Posted by: 72VIRGINS on February 17, 2005 10:05 AM
Lauraw - "put him some conscious?" Is this ACE SPEAK meant only for his inner posse? (He does that too much) Or is this Lauraw speak? mybad Posted by: 72prunes on February 17, 2005 10:10 AM
Nearly 11 AM EDT and NO Ace? I feel good.... Hughhhhhhh! Posted by: Greg on February 17, 2005 10:47 AM
They are words delivered in a rousing motivational speech by Mr. Paul Anka, the only important man on this stage. Posted by: lauraw on February 17, 2005 10:59 AM
Gracious - Not having outside audio/video capability I ignored the Paul Anka schtick (and a lot of other things). mybad Posted by: 72VIRGINS on February 17, 2005 11:32 AM
loose shit Posted by: on February 17, 2005 11:36 AM
On the topic of haiku contests: I drove all the way down to Hollywood for the American Haiku Championship, all excited and nervous... I get to the studio, and no one's there... no stage, no judges, no audience; just an empty soundstage. Then I find this note taped to the inside of the door: You were played, Catbird The wide-eyed idealist in me died that day. I found myself finding solace in the bottom of a bottle and giving up on all things haiku. The spiral continued until one day, I realized that I was in central Mexico pawning myself off for defective quaaludes. And then it hit me: that's what Paul Anka wanted. It took a while, but now I'm back in haiku, and I'm pissed off. I may have just missed this contest, but you can't block me from all of them, Paulie. By the power of Jeff Gannon, you will feel my 5-7-5 fury, Anka... You are no longer Catbird, out! Posted by: Johnny Catbird on February 17, 2005 12:06 PM
at - Whip me, beat me, call me Edna. Posted by: 72VIRGINS on February 17, 2005 01:35 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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