Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« The Indecorous Ace Agrees With the Decorous Instapundit | Main | The Leftosphere Got Its Scalps, Too, and I Don't Mean St. Gannon »
February 14, 2005

Help Wanted

I had seven things I needed to do today, and I've now accomplished four. That leaves three, and I've got to get them all in by f'n' 7:30.

Which just isn't going to happen. I'm now in a triage situation.

Let me say: I hate holidays. I hate birthdays. They're so much bother.

I know other people can manage all this stuff, but I can't.

I need an f'n' intern. Anyone interested in the job? It would be much like the internship for Kramerica Incorporated, but without all the prestige and networking opportunities.

OTOH, I don't own a chicken, so now worries about salmonella.

Let me know. My life is really not all that difficult or complex, but I just can't seem to manage the damn thing at all.

And... Can anyone recommend a cheap digital camera? I mean, cheap.

Everyone's been so generous with donating that I figure I at least owe you some pics of Ann Coulter... or, for the ladies, maybe some Michael Barrone.

Or maybe even Jeff Gannon.

I'm not a photographer and I have no interest in the art at all. I just want to point and click and get a half-decent shot I can post.

Six Things Accomplished! Six out of seven ain't bad.

Now just four or five things to do tomorrow.


posted by Ace at 06:24 PM
Comments



Get a wife. She'll do it because she loves you or some horseshit like that. As long as you take her someplace nice on a day like today.

Posted by: Wittysexkitten on February 14, 2005 06:32 PM

I'd love to apply, but I'm on the opposite coast.

Besides, I don't think you could afford me.

Posted by: Dianna on February 14, 2005 06:33 PM

How's the pay?

Posted by: fat kid on February 14, 2005 06:35 PM

Payment will be in trade. You will do all of my work -- and, hopefully, all of my blogging -- and in exchange I will provide you with all the hard-boiled eggs and hot-dogs you can eat during the work day.

Posted by: ace on February 14, 2005 06:42 PM

Get off your butt and get to work! What do we pay you for?

Just kidding. Hey, anyone see that fox transcript over at Johnny Dollar's Place about Eason getting a couple of people killed?

Posted by: blakjack on February 14, 2005 06:48 PM

I hate holidays. I hate birthdays. They're so much bother.

Whose holiday is having a birthday? I think I missed something. Either that or I'm just stupid. Maybe that's what I missed.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on February 14, 2005 06:49 PM

You serious about an assistant Ace?? I'm in the same city, but not quite sure I can pay rent with hard-boiled eggs and hotdogs... although I am gonna double check with my landlord just in case. My interest is somewhat piqued though.

Posted by: Chad on February 14, 2005 06:55 PM

No fucking way. You gotta clean up all your loose shit yourself.

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on February 14, 2005 07:05 PM

sounds like ace is about to go on "sabbatical" after a successful big-blog-money fundraiser

I swear sometimes that Ace IS Randy Andy

just kidding ace. good luck with that bouquet of long stemmed dildos. and the vibrating rose

Posted by: hobgoblin on February 14, 2005 07:06 PM

My wife always says that she needs a wife.

Posted by: Eric on February 14, 2005 08:31 PM

Contact the Columbia School of Journalism. Introduce yourself as a blogger and would like to set up a for-credit internship through their department. See what they say.

Posted by: Moonbat_One on February 14, 2005 08:35 PM

Yeah, someone's gonna sell him a cheap camera and he'll disappear for months whilst chasing after Ms. Coulter. Bummer.

Posted by: The Old Coot on February 14, 2005 08:42 PM

Ace, you've gotten several Instapundit links in the past two weeks, IIRC.

Now according to my calculus, Instapundit links = crazy blog traffic. Crazy blog traffic = CRAZY BLOG MONEY.

Have you been blowing all your cash on bandwidth charges?

Posted by: Jeff B. on February 14, 2005 08:50 PM

Camera:
IMHO You won't need more than a 1-megapixel camera for posting stuff on the web.

Posted by: Man of Substance on February 14, 2005 08:59 PM

Ace-- didya say hot dogs? Regular hot dogs, or Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express hot dogs?

http://garfieldridge.blogspot.com/2005/02/who-here-wants-hot-dog.html

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on February 14, 2005 08:59 PM

Ace, one of the best brands for inexpensive cameras is Fuji. Their A330/A340 from last year are a hell of a lot of bang for the buck. I recommend you go to (deleted by the damn spamfilter, but has www and a . and shopping and a . and com in the url), Electronics>Cameras and Photography>Digital Cameras, and check it out. The cheapest I saw the A330 for was $30 used on Amazon Marketplace, but I doubt I'd trust it. The first trusted store on the site is The Buzz Electronics, who'll ship one to me (your shipping may vary) for $149.08, shipping included.

Posted by: Mr. Bowen on February 14, 2005 09:19 PM

Dude, your problem is right here:

I had seven things I needed to do today

Did you really think that was going to happen?

Posted by: TallDave on February 14, 2005 09:40 PM

> I had seven things I needed to do today

You thought, you thought, you thought seven things today!

But I am not Anka, and I am not qualified to bitch-slap you in the way that he might were he here. A couple years ago I faced your same dilemma: find the cheapest damn digital camera money could buy. I settled on the HP-318, and I've never looked back. You can find my first test of it here, if you're so inclined: http://www.byondscape.com/ascape.dmb/Divertimenti.2002-0423/

Posted by: Guy T. on February 14, 2005 09:41 PM

Try the Kodak EasyShare cheapies (the sort found at Wal*Mart). Well under $200, and you can probably find them on EBay under fifty bucks. We paid $139 for our CX4300, some time ago.

Not because of the pictures they take -- a digital camera's a digital camera, and you're going to have to reduce the resolution of even the cheapest one in order to post it on the Web. Unless you and all your readers have OC3 lines, that is.

The Kodak cameras come with a teeny little driver file, which you load and forget.. From then on, plug the camera into the USB port, and what you have is a flash drive with a funny enclosure and some extra features. Neat. No need to use specialized software to download the images -- just transfer them like ordinary files. No loading huge buggy proprietary image managers, either. Freeware and shareware ones will work fine, as will high-dollar stuff like PhotoShop.

No travail. I like that in a computer accessory; it's all too rare.

Regards,
Ric

Posted by: Ric Locke on February 14, 2005 10:18 PM

Thanks! I'll look into those.

Posted by: ace on February 14, 2005 11:04 PM

I had seven things to do today, also. Well, I only had one thing to do, but I wanted to do it seven times. Or as many times as I could before getting too sore to continue.

Posted by: Dogstar on February 14, 2005 11:26 PM

Well, Yeah... what did you think I was talking about?

Posted by: ace on February 14, 2005 11:32 PM

So, is there going to be some kinda Bloggercon in conjunction with CPAC? Some of us have to work and stuff, but there should be some sort of off-campus adult beverage/wireless blogging thing happening.

Shouldn't there?

Posted by: blaster on February 14, 2005 11:58 PM

I don't know what your budget is, but the Canon Powershot A70 is a great little camera. It is going used on eBay for as low as $160-170. It's a couple of years old, but is more than enough for web posting.

Posted by: George on February 15, 2005 12:06 AM

George,

Thanks, but I can't do eBay, as I'd need it by Wednesday afternoon.

Blaster,

What do you mean? There will be parties (quite frankly, that's why I'm going), and hopefully some bloggers (including me) will get invited a few places.

There won't be any liveblogging, tho. That would be dorky.

But if anything interesting happens I'll let you know. To the extent I can. Sometimes these things are all supposed to be off the record.

Posted by: ace on February 15, 2005 12:33 AM

Hey Ace,
A while back I heard that Gateway came out with a line of digital cameras that were rather inexpensive. If you need something right away, I recommend going to B&H Photo. They carry everything under the sun, and also sell used stuff. Another respectable retailer is Adorama, also in Manhattan. Also, I would avoid those Brooklyn based retailers that run mail order ads in the back of photo magazines. I've had business dealings with them in the past. A lot of them are sleazy and deal in grey market goods. For future reference, another excellent retailer is Calumet Photographic. They have a store in NY which I don't know much about. But their web site is excellent. I ordered from there a while back, and was extremely happy with the service and price. Good luck.

Posted by: Zelda on February 15, 2005 12:41 AM

Hey Ace,

If, you know, Johah Goldberg says at some "off the record" event that the New York Times is hunting down and killing conservative bloggers, will you blog that?

Just wonderin'.

Posted by: someone on February 15, 2005 04:13 AM

No, I am saying by coming to DC, you are coming to my house, and you should buy me some beers, or I'll buy you some, or something.

Posted by: blaster on February 15, 2005 08:53 AM

Get a Canon PowerShot A400 3.2MP. $132 at newegg.com. Fully automatic, great photos.

Posted by: Master of None on February 15, 2005 09:14 AM

If the camera adds 10 pounds, Ann Coulter must be impossibly slim in person.
Try to get a frontal shot. If she turns sideways she'll disappear like fishing line.

Posted by: lauraw on February 15, 2005 10:08 AM

That's pathetic. The day after Valentine's Day and you guys are dating yourselves. You're either like monkeys or you're just lameasses.

Seriously, this is Manhattan. Did you see all the forlorn, weepy chicks stumbling around the city yesterday wondering if anyone anywhere would just please give them one fucking rose? A leper could have got laid yesterday and you guys are jerkin' the gherkin.

Just pitiful.

Posted by: spongeworthy on February 15, 2005 10:56 AM

Ace,
Didn't weigh in on this earlier but you can get a Dakota Disposable Digital Camera for about $20.
But here's the kicker, you can hack it!
http://www.maushammer.com/systems/dakotadigital/DakotaDigital.html.

Posted by: Iblis on February 15, 2005 04:23 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!
Recent Comments
Methos: "Okay, they've just released some of the UFO files. ..."

Cicero (@cicero43): "Man, my IQ must be down like 80 points. I must hav ..."

Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian: "This will be my first Mother's Day since my Mom pa ..."

Have you ever thought about like, water?: "Did I keep losing 20 points for every boat? I m ..."

Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! : "[i] "I Fell for the Bullshit About the Wonders of ..."

mindful webworker - but it does move!: "🛸Speaking of extraterrestrial secrets T ..."

Gotta think sales and marketing: "How about a "I Fell for the Bullshit About the ..."

JackStraw: ">>d. Buying a boat. Did I keep losing 20 points ..."

Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! : " Fuck Off, You Perverts Day fixed! ..."

Berserker-Dragonheads Division: "Holy carp. Seattle media is promoting Other’ ..."

Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! : "[i] The crew took photos. Posted by: publius, Ra ..."

four seasons: " Howz about Fuck Off Day you perverts. ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives