Sparkling dome
A vociferous magma
Hot down the mountain

Thanks for the compliment and the link.

I think you've already provided us with our first semi-haiku.

They can take our lives
But they can never take
Our Gannon

He asked the questions
And beat them at their own game
We hardly knew him

Dean of the White House Press Corp

Gannon got to ask
More questions than Helen T.
Who's your daddy now?

Is it 5-7-5 or 7-5-7. I'm too drunk to remember. Either way here goes.

[Sorry, I had to delete this.

I don't actually want to join in with the left in making unsubstantiated attacks on Mr. Gannon. We're making fun of the left's ludicrous overreaction to this, not Jeff Gannon himself.

Just watch it with the attacks on Gannon, please. He didn't do anything to deserve any of this bullshit, and I don't want any part of piling on.]

Sundance Dreams

I went to Sundance
To raise money for my film
" Passion of Gannon"

I am the Walrus

O-Chub hasn't been
This excited since Big Macs
sold two for a buck

Sentinel - how the HELL do you delete your own comments? WTFF?

Ace,

Roundy McHeartdisease

LOL.

Ace's Evidence

Gannon is not gay
Just because he often quotes
Robert Frosts' Poems

So it ends afoul
Our saviour Gannon, shot down
While Eason sucks tit

Oh the tragedy
Whilst such a man as "Gannon"
Can be lain to waste

Ok, here goes:

Gannon, Jeff Gannon
Gannon, Gannon, Jeff Gannon
Jeff Gannon, BASTARDS!

Right Said Kos

Gannon's too sexy
for his shirt, so sexy it
hurts Kos self esteem

Eason walks scot free
The vociferous prig
Should toss my salad

I have no life

I must have no life
At home on friday writing
Haiku's for Gannon.

Hammer Slicing Time

First it was "Where's Joe"?
Now with Gannon departed
we all cry "Where's Jeff"?

Keep 'em coming.

But please no gay jokes. Again, the left is attacking him; we're sorta just attacking the left's overreaction.

And Fat Kid--

I deleted that, not Sentinel. I forgot to sign the deletion.

Amish Calling

Fat Kid call Amish
Between the three of us, we
can hijack the thread

Ace is the Place

Ace asked for haikus
But to write I must defeat
my tears for Gannon

Return of the Jedi

I imagine Kos
is cheering Gannon's fall like
ewoks on cocaine

Easter Bunny

Outside Gannon's Tomb
Red State Bloggers wait for signs
That Jeff is risen.

I hope that I dont Burn in Hell

I hope that I dont
Burn in hell for writing the
Easter themed haiku

Ace--serious for a second:

Gannon acquired WH press credentials under a fake name. I don't want to pile on here, but that's not kosher and the libs have a point. Dubya's staff looks either clueless for letting in a ringer (Hello, I'm Amaso nib Nadel from Al Jazeera!) or complicit for letting in a shill to pitch softballs. If there's a better way to interpret the Gannon story, please link to it. But this looks like a case of a really weird dude and some decidedly odd circumstances.

I mean, seriously, who uses a pseudonym?

And I'm sorry, but if my buddies come around and are like, hey See-dub, ol' pal, can you register the domains for some red hot military gay pjorn sites in my name, cause you're just a humble WH correspondent but I'm mister big serious gay military pjorn dude here, well, buddy, the answer is No Captain, My Captain.

So unless I'm missing something here--and please enlighten me if I am--I don't think JG needs a lot of our sympathy.

OK, Mask back on. GANNON! NO! WE HARDLY KNEW YE! ALAS POOR GANNON, I KNEW HIM, HORATIO!

Let the Haikus continue.

Different meter: (my apologies to Whitman)

Oh Gannon, my Gannon, our briefing room patron
You weathered on through every storm, save Atrios', his foul one!
Your end is near, the left I hear, the Daily Kos' high keen
While our sad eyes will miss your smile, your shining dome's high sheen!
But O heart, heart, heart
O bleeding drops of red,
There on the floor, the mighty sword:
your press pass, still and dead!

On Freaking Fire!

I was on a roll
Until See-Dub showed up here
a human buzz-kill

Twin brother Jimmy?

In this thread too? Rat Bastard!

Throw crates at his ass.

Er...doesn't anybody feel the slightest bit sorry for poor Jeff "Softball" Gannon? I mean, sure he was a partisan hack reporter, and who knows about the sketchy stuff, but I dunno...I just hope he never finds this site.

Not that you all aren't uproariously funny - Ace is on fire like he hasn't been in weeks, and I get the angle you're working is that the Left Blogosphere is playing this up like they've won a Presidential election plus the Superbowl all at one - but still...I guess I'm just a pussy.

By the way, See-Dubya, Gannon did NOT apparently acquire WH press credentials under a false name. He got them under his real name. He only used the pen name when writing. Or at least this is what I got from reading INDCJournal's recap.

Drowning Eagle

Gannon faced his foes
He spat, and faced his grim fate
First Con journo to die

Willow whispering over running brook

Jeff B., you pussy
Don't hijack this Gannon thread
It's just a blog, bitch

Dude lied about his name to get into a cushy white house press corps job, Jeff B. It's like Ward Churchill lying about being Indian to get an ethnic studies job. Good gig while it lasted, but he was a fake. Like the mercenary con man in Afghanistan who wormed his way into Fox News' confidence. I mean, I've got a certain amount of empathy for what he's going through, but he's a total fraud, not just a partial, half-assed fraud like me.

While I'm pissing people off tonight (Slugs from the bottle of room-temp Valu-rite vodka with the Built-In Pourer) I'd have been fine if Eason Jordan had just said "You know what? I screwed the pooch. My mouth got ahead of my head and I said things I thought people wanted me to say but weren't true. I'm going on a couple months' suspension and I'm going to come back and restore CNN's reputation for integrity.

And I'm donating three months' salary to the widows and orphans of US soldiers. I may never be able to undo the damage I did by being a smug SOB at Davos, but I'm going to do my best to repair the injuries I've caused, here and abroad."

I'd-a been fine with that. Guess I'm just a big softie.

Okay, whoops, Jeff B. damn Jimmy didn't read your second post, the crate-bruised doofus. I'll send his sorry butt over to INDC.

Haiku Now

Lu Lu Lu! Lu Lu!
Haiku now! Shut uppa you!
Gannon is da man

Ace,

I wasn't making fun of GANNON! He's my hero.

He has taken the left by the horns and wrestled them to the proverbial ground. I have the utmost respect for Jeff. Here's my new and improved...ACE OF SPADES (fucking fascist) POLLITICALLY CORRECT HAIKU FOR THE MASSES

Jeff is my hero

Left wants to castrate him bad

GANNON says, "SUCK THESE!"

BTW, GANNON sounds like a Godzilla monster doesn't it? I bet he shoots balls of fire from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. Just like WW!

I still think my deleted HAIKUS kick ass.

SENITINEL

Sentinel

In His Shoes

If Jeff Gannon finds
this site, he'll have a hernia
from the laughing.

Lighten up my darling peeps.

Gannon/Sammon

Bye to the Gannon
It wont be long till Kos finds
ass.com by Sammon

Whale ass obscured by Moon

Mr. Filet-O-fish
knows something about phonies
he's paid to be one

Gannon, hope is lost!
we were too distracted by
Wankette's new titties

Your great sacrifice
ever and ever muddled
with the aforementioned faux mammaries

LO! Our sorrow great,
yet the foul bass-shucker still
steals Gannon's spotlight

The moment two bubbles
are united, they both vanish.
Jeff and Eason.

See-Dubya says who
uses a pseudonym?
Irony, bought cheap

The cherry blossoms flutter to the ground
I cherish the soft flesh of lauraw
I am Jeff Gannon

Hitting on someone with a haiku?

Very classy.

THEY GOT JEFF GANNON!
screamed the internet headlines
Jeff who? Oooh! No? Who??!

When The Smiths fired Craig
Gannon, that was so unjust.
Oh, wait--nevermind.

Best. Thread. Ever. (Esp. lauraw's haikus.)

Gannon acquired WH press credentials under a fake name.

I think this is wrong. I think I read the WH knew his real name. They realized he was working under a nom de plume. So he didn't trick anyone.

I don't see the problem. If I want to call myself Ace of Spades, what's it to anyone else>

I don't want to pile on here, but that's not kosher and the libs have a point. Dubya's staff looks either clueless for letting in a ringer (Hello, I'm Amaso nib Nadel from Al Jazeera!) or complicit for letting in a shill to pitch softballs.

Eh, who cares. Look, See-Dub, if the WH took notice of you, and wanted to reward a smart conservative with credentials, you'd take them.

And the WH wouldn't have done anything wrong. If that old rotten stinker Helen Thomas can voice her opinions, why can't Jeff Gannon?

If there's a better way to interpret the Gannon story, please link to it. But this looks like a case of a really weird dude and some decidedly odd circumstances.

I mean, seriously, who uses a pseudonym?

You must be being ironic. I hope. YOU use a pseudonym, dude! So do I!

And I'm sorry, but if my buddies come around and are like, hey See-dub, ol' pal, can you register the domains for some red hot military gay pjorn sites in my name, cause you're just a humble WH correspondent but I'm mister big serious gay military pjorn dude here, well, buddy, the answer is No Captain, My Captain.

Mistates the facts, badly. He used to work for a software company, where it was his job to register domains on behalf of clients. He didn't do it for a "buddy." He did it in the normal functioning of his work.

Winter snows bury
Eason's career. Ollie sweats
Unseasonably.

And I'm sorry, but if my buddies come around and are like, hey See-dub, ol' pal, can you register the domains for some red hot military gay pjorn sites in my name...

Is "gay pjorn" the reason Excitable Andy is headed to Europe? Does anybody know if he's making a stop in Norway?

Oops, seems I screwed up the italics tags there. Preview is my fiend.

Muuuuhaaaahaaaahaaa!

And who cares if he registered gay porn sites, anyway?

I know there are some religious conservatives here, but I think most of the readership remaining at this point has a, let us say, latitudinarian sort of attitude towards pornography.

As the mainstream cry
blogs weave to foretell
how soon must it die

The White House waves goodbye
Jeff bows to Jordan smiling
Blogs flicker their fame

Ace wins my heart with
"latitudinarian"
my favorite word

Winter Sky Sunset with Pathetic Screeching Gull

They caught Jeff Gannon
Just before Valentine's Day
Bitter Holiday

Conversation hearts
Red roses and chocolates...
Seem so pointless now

Remember the day
We found our hearts on the ground
Remember GANNON!

A little haiku I have modestly entitled: Gannon. Here goes.

Gannnon

Ga-Ga-Ga Gannon

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ga-Ga Gannon

Ga-Ga-Ga Gannon

(who said I couldn't write a haiku. p.s. it's no Sonnet No. 57, but this did take me 4 and a half hours to write)

When Jeff Gannon was in the Olympics
He beat up Kublai Khan
For Eason I'll be a journalist, too

My Tears

Dew falls from lotus
Gannon rises, is cut down
My tears know no end.

Take to the Hills

Load up the Hummer
Take canned goods, water, and smokes.
Run all the road blocks.

I did not speak.

I did not speak out
When they came for Jeff Gannon
Now I am afraid

I'm working on a little elegiac piece en francais that ends, hauntingly, with the age-old question........

Et ou sont les haques d'antan?

Villon was immortalized for less, n'est-ce pas?

Did I say I was a pussy? Okay, I really meant "hypocrite pussy."

Bald Men Compared

Gannon goes down hard
Sully goes to Europe's spas
Gobsmackingly vile

Bleached Bone against Pale Sand in the Gloaming

Press Corps, we beg you
with trembling, beseeching lips
we sue for mercy

Trouble us no more
Crushed, rudderless, and adrift
You have done your worst!

Just kidding, assholes
Is this your best??! All you got?!?
Bwa ha ha ha ha

lauraw you are on haiku fire!

I had a dream, once
That all men were born equal
Except Jeff Gannon

(Feel 110% free to delete this - I'm just being a dork b/c I like this poem)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man... like Jeff Gannon!

*blush*

Fanks.

Oh sure...lauraw gets all sort of acclaim for being on haiku fire, while the poor senator (who owned the first thirty comments in this thread!!!) gets ignored.

Is it because I'm a lesbian?

It's because you aren't a real lesbian, you just play one on TV.

Oh, Sorry, I forgot it was a Hiaku thread... ummmm.

Ffff

fame forth-not-coming
for Philabuster
faux female fan

It is no surprise
Gannon was a quarterback
Who tossed several bad softballs

Oh, wait. Not Rich Gannon?

Some here seem to have a nut on because Gannon used a nom de plume. Just to make it clear, he used his real name in all dealings with the White House and the daily press pass. He used his real name in applying for a permanent pass (which BTW is handled by the Senate Press Gallery...anyone wondering who leaked his real name?) People who dealt with Jeff in a business way knew his real name...Talon News did, GOPUSA did, hell, I did.

Jeff used a psuedo for one reason, he didn't want to use his real name, Guckert (use your imagination).

Jerry Riviera (Geraldo Rivera) and Larry Ziegler (Larry King) also use a nom as do many others.
s
So shoot him.

lauraw,

You are on fire.

and Gail,

Good one (my idea, but you beat me to it).

So here's this, a bit OT, but a paen to Ace:

crazy blog money
latitudinarian
Ace dreams of "Dusty"

oops.

Spell Check: paean

;0

Ganon- my hero
Ganon- life without you? no
it cannot be, death

Ganon- my hero
Ganon- my idol, mentor,
Ganon- until death!

The wind blows softly
Thoughts of Ganon in my head
Oh, Zen of Ganon

Ganon- is there a
better name? no there is not
I will name my son

My son will carry
the legacy of Ganon
live in his honor

I'd write more, but the tears are too thick.

Senator,

Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing.

I do love it so!

Nah...it isn't jealousy Lauraw. It's despair that, as a lipstick lesbian, I am being persecuted on this thread.

Would Jeff Gannon have wanted that to happen?

No.
If I knew Gannon (and I did, intimately), he'd have wanted you to stand tall and tell the Truth.

GANNON!!!!

WWGD?

You've read the post, now buy the bracelet.

What would Gannon do?
He'd tell the truth to power.
Go and do likewise.

Lotus Flowers and Attention Spans

Dusty on the side
have to write about Gannon
I can't concentrate

One bright, shining day,
Gannon will rise again to
Lead us from despair.

Until then, just keep
Making Oliver Willis jokes
Because he's fat, see?

Writing under a
false name is very dishonest
just ask Atrios

Ace, Lady Diana Spenser, the Princess of Wales, spelled her name with one n. So far as I'm aware, I'm one of the few who spell with two.

It gave me quite start. I'm not a princess.

Grasping for the straws,
Greasy, flabby fingers reach,
Willis gets the scoop.

The Gannonator

Our hopes and dreams like the rain

Gazelle Carcass. Chomp!

Who is Jeff Gannon?
Why should I care about him?
The left is stupid.

Apparently some self-entitled spades people are going to faint if we have gay humor:

latitude chimps cry
moral gag homo humor
free speech by spades

Conservative Jeff
Brought down by libs; no one cares
Cause we got Eason.

A Tribute from Link

Gannon, they somehow
Without the silver arrows
Managed to kill you.

Counterfeit scandal
The left attacking the bald
Lex Luthor is next.

Bury Eason's heart
at Ward Churchill's Wounded Knee
Gannon comes to pee

Blind squirrel's nut
Moonbat feast
Political famine

Damn you to hell, Kos.
But now we have a catchphrase:
WWJGD?

New Media 2 to Old Media's 0.25

A Haiku

A skirmish lost but

A battle won come on now

Eason down the road