(carried over from last thread)

GANNON!!!

They got Gannon!

Okay everybody, keep calm!

Well need water and generators. Bring batteries too...they're good. Don't bring anything from the fridge, it'll just go bad within the first week. We'll have to set up some sort of new system... at least until our scientists tell us it's safe to return. Bring the....(Voice trails off as heads out toward the cellar for supplies. Rustling noises heard there.)

I wasn't going to tell anybody...but since he's gone...*sob*

Jeff was my first.

lol.

Egads, Ace, you are really shoving this up the liberals' collective nose, aren't you?

Later,
bbeck

They ... they ... they got him. When he wasn't looking, when he was just sitting there, minding his own conservative business. It was BREAKING and then it broke and then ... then ... he was gone.

I remember Gannon. I remember him when he went into that burning building to rescue a kitty and came out with the cat, two weasels, and a snake. See, THAT was the Gannon I knew, always doing more for everyone else.

And I remember the time that he stayed up all night to help me finish my term paper. Who knew he knew so much about Central American doll clothing? When he went to Africa and personally grew all of the polyester necessary to make clothes for 5 villages for a whole year. Did you know he could do that? I didn't. And remember in '95 (or was it '96) that the Mexican Peso was collapsing. Didja ever wonder why it didn't devalue to 0? I'll tell you why ... IT WAS GANNON.

And when he got his Ram Hemi pick up truck, he gave me a lift when my car broke down, and still found time to jump and jump and jump on the trampoline, sit in the hot tub, and score a couple of girls for us to sit with. And when the Raiders needed a quarterback in the 2001-2002 seasons, who did they call? I know ... We all know.

There were stories too about Gannon, stuff you'd hear, but never hear too much about, ya know? There were whispers of dropping him behind enemy lines in '44 and again in '51. He was called back up in '67, and I heard that the North Vietnamese even gave him the sobriquet "Breaking Right Wing Talon of Death." I don't know if it's true. None of us will EVER know if it's true. But I do know that there is an entire Ex pat Veteran community near Puerto Vallarta who have a Gannon day every year. And it is filled with Joy and Music and the sweet rememberances of life and drink and joy and music.

And has anyone seen the Crow? I don't even have to mention who stepped in after the tragedy to do stand ins for Brandon Lee.

BUT there is no Gannon substitute, no artificial Gannon to have with my morning coffee, so stand in who we can call in to have that quick heart to heart or to read Gabriel Garcia Marqez out loud to us. There is no cliff notes version of Gannon, no quick summary, because to summarize him is to demean the totality of his life. He was everywhere, he was everyman. What a guy. I will miss him. WE will miss him. The Washington Press Corps won't have GANNON to kick around any more and THEY will miss him. Yes, they will miss him.

And so I'll sit on this bench, waiting for Gannon, waiting for Gannon, waiting for Gannon. He'll be along any minute now.

I've been away in the woods - just got back. I-s, is it true? NOOOOOOOOOO......Oh God Noooooooo! "Jeff Gannon no longer in the press room". Eviler words were never spoken. And the shame for us who remain behind - and in front of all those smarty lefties. AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Ace, we should have never, FUCKIN' NEVER taken on Dan Rather and CBS. Look, just look what we have wrought! This will be my last and final comment. I will not touch this vile internet thingy again. I'm done man. Lefty beat me - beat me good. Farewell.

Remember when those terrorists took over that big building and Jeff Gannon crawled through all the air ducts to get to the bad guys and singlehandedly killed them all and rescued the innocent civilians? Has there ever been a braver American? Fare thee well Jeffrey! Oh Jeffrey Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calllling..

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard Jeff Gannon before,
But the man there said Jeff had gone away.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day they got Jeff Gannon.

you know, since they took gannon down I just can't find the will to typ...

(Fade in. Scene: Campfire. A Powers Boothesque type speaks clamly, deliberately to the rag tag teens. Their bow and arrows rest scattered about them.)

PB: "I was stationed in Omaha when KOS took him out. A lot of people tried to play it off like it was nothing. Some of us knew otherwise. Without Gannon... we were sitting ducks."

Billy (naively): " But we still had Brooks, we still had-."

PB: "Bullshit. That's what they were saying in Wichita. Two weeks later, the ones who'd survived-"

Jenny: "But at least they're alive. At least-"

PB: "Have you seen the camps, Jenny? Have you seen the looks on their faces? They survived... but they wish to God they hadn't. And it all started with Gannon. And no one seemed to realize...."

Ace...sometime, when the team is up against it -- and the breaks are beating the boys -- tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gannon.

I don't know where I'll be then, Ace, but if you do that--and I have some classy lighting, body oil, and tented briefs--I'll be happy.

Jeff Gannon is love.

Y'know, the sun's shining brightly out my window but all I see is clouds. Ominous clouds. Without Gannon...excuse me a minute...I can barely type his name...without Gannon in the WH pressroom...

Shoulda never toppled Dan Rather. Curse you bloggers and every cabal of commentators. Damn you to hell.

Hubris. We've sown the bitters seeds of our own destruction.

Gannon is just the first to go...

Did Gannon pick up the exploded pieces of my body in little ziploc baggies?

There was a softer side to Jeff that few people saw. He was the kind of guy who made you feel comfortable with your homosexuality, made you feel like you were still a man. *Sobs*

NO, not ME. I guy I know told me about it.

This is just too much to handle.... after I get back from the shrink we are packing and moving to Canada

Hey, anybody notice the rack on Wonkette at Insty's place today?

Oh, sorry, I guess nobody's in the mood for a little cheering up. I guess I forgot...

they got Gannon!!

sorry Allah

had to be done

We've seen this before.

Who could forget the haunting question asked of Mr. Paul Anka, the Most Important Man on that Stage: "Where's Joe?"

Well, there was no Joe, because they got him. They targeted him and they got him.

And now they got Gannon.

Who's next. For the love God, who's next?

Where's Ace?

Jeff will be all around in the dark. He'll be everywhere, wherever you can look. Wherever there's a fight so people in a soup line--or something like a soupline, a buffet at a social function, say--can eat, Jeff will be there. Wherever there's a Marine Officer takin' pleasure in killin' a wife-slappin' Jihadi, Jeff will be there. He'll be in the way Howard Dean yells when the Democrats lose in 2006. and in the way Anne Coulter laughs when she talks about reporters gettin' shot and mentally visualizes it and where men are congregatin' in health clubs and bath houses and whatnot. Jeff'll be there, too.

My time with Jeff Gannon is SEERED SEERED into my memory. We were in a HOT LZ traveling down the river between Camodia and Vietnam. In a swift boat armed to the teeth. No wait, it was the Platte River, in those little inner tube boats and we were fishing. No, wait …. We were in a convince store buying some beer and porn….No that’s not it either. Crap, I don’t know who he is for sure, but I’m sure we tore it up!

I am almost positive she didn't have that kind of RACK 6 months ago, kelly.

Oh, but I do wish that last little button would just (OOPS!) pop off like a chinese firecracker.

Man, that's a RACK.

(she's pretty much a butterface, though I wonder about the curtains/carpet.)

far better picture of the assfuck mistress at Bill's

Wow whatta rack

couple of grapefruits in (unstretched) tube socks.

They got Jeff!

You bastards!

Are you going to eat that?

Great caption on the Wonkette photo.

People... PEOPLE!

Now is not the time for reflection or maudlin sentiments! Do you think if Gannon was still here, he'd be all blubberin like this?

We don't have the time. We need a plan. We need orgainization!

First of all, STAY OFF THE INTERSTATES! Those are going be parking lots as word gets out and the cities evacuate. You'll be sitting ducks out there.

We'll need a rendezvous point, somewhere in the hills. Somewhere near caves and a steady supply of fresh water....

She does seem to have upgraded.

No, I am Jeff Gannon.

Wait a minute, I'm not gay.

Guess I'm not Jeff Gannon.

The comments on this thread have me rolling on the floor.

Jeff Gannon - by Grabthar's Hammer, by the Suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged.

Shit!

This is all coming down quicker than I thought. I'm getting scattered reports we're losing FOX News in Tallahassee and places in Pennsylvania. We're pretty much on our way to losing east coast communication!

What about our back ups. Squad leaders, find out how knows morse code! MOVE!

I'm Jeff Gannon bitch! This is not an option nigga, if you do not smoke this, we have a problem.

Let me ask you..is Jeff Gannon gonna have to choke a bitch?

[post deleted for non-verifiable derogatory information about another blogger.]

Gary, please avoid that sort of disclosure. I wouldn't want that sort of thing said about me on her site.

You know, if I had picked door number one, and Jeff Gannon had opened one of those other two doors, I would have switched.

In an f'ing heartbeat.

"Over? Did you say over? NOTHING is over until WE decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL, NO!"

--Bluto Blutarsky

That's it, I'm done. John got taken out coming back from the WalMart with supplies! We still haven't heard from Susan. She left an hour ago. I think she had family in Little Rock. I told her they we're dead by now, but....

If there's anyone left to read this, please know I tried. We all tried!

Mary: I loved you more than life itself. You gave me everything.

Johnny: If your grade school was spared, please try to be a better man than I was. Please understand everything I did in raising you, I did to make you a man. I hope, if you are still alive, you will realize how important that is now.

The battle is upon us. For those of you still alive in the resistence, do your best. Let our battlecry "GANNON!" ring in their ears before they die!.

The Deleting Hand of Ace is strong, Gizzle. (too bad I missed the "disclosure" Guess I'll never know.

Use the Gannon, Ace!

ps The REAL Jeff Gannon: lol on the email, but you will have to be liquidated for dishonoring the hallowed name of Gannon.

Dogstar,

ROFL!

They got Gannon!? Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now, man. That's it, man. Game over, man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now, huh? What are we gonna do?

Cox had a big rack in those pictures of her getting drunk with Jessica "in the Butt, Bob" Cutler a few months back.

http://kellyanncollins.com/Jessica_Cutler_pics.htm#photos

Still kind of a butterface, though.

All, right, folks, we gotta pull ourselves together, here. Gannon's gone. Nothing we can do about that now. Okay, maybe watch "Beaches" once more, but that's not going to bring Gannon back.

Now let's get back to endless speculating on Wonkette's rack.

There, that's what we need. Who's in?

FLASH! Just got back from DU and they say they'll free Gannon if we free Mumia.

What to do? Oh, what to do?

Photoshop Ahoy!

http://musingsofafatkid.blogspot.com/2005/02/jeff-gannon.html

Stupid HTML not working in comments again...

Forget the Alamo...REMEMBER JEFF GANNON!

Some people think it is merely a coincidence that Jeff Gannon and John Galt have the same initials.

There are no coincidences.

Who is John Galt Jeff Gannon.

(from previous thread)

(A man enters, weeping. Soft, masculine tears trail from his eyes.)

"Gannon!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"They got GANNON!!!!!!"

(Deep breath. A light glistens across his drying cheeks. A change has come over him)

"By the blood of my conservative forefathers, I will avenge those leftist bastards who've took you down Jeff. My precious, sweet, innocent Jeff."

(Calmly now, to the gathering crowd) "We will not let his passing be without meaning....

Our conservative movement may perish this day, but his name will live on!"

"Our children will cry your name, Jeff, as they pick up the gun from our fallen hands, they will cry out: GANNONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

"Jeff, your name will live on as our battlecry!"

"GANNONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! GANNONNNNNN!!!!!"

(The crowd joins in, slowly at first) GANNONNNN!!!!!!!

(They are as one. United. A movement.)

Ray? Ray!

Can you hear me? I'm here man...*cough, cough*
I'm here but I'm hit...managed to scurry into one of the tunnels, but they'll find me soon. I hear the dogs.

I sent Scott out for some tampax and motrin five hours ago and they nabbed him when he stepped out from the CVS...I knew I should have gone myself.
I think he really wanted to die. He ratted me out before they finished him.

He ratted us all out.

No alex, you compare these:

oo

to these:

OO

you will see a marked increase in volume.

Whoa. I'm going to go right now and tell my wife to stop taking the pill, so we can have kids and so I can thereby have grandkids, whom I will be able to put on my lap and tell the story of this day that Gannon was taken down.

The Bloggers got Gannon... Who's next, Eason Jordan?
... Oh, wait...

Gannon searched the continent for the man who'd done him in
He found him in Mombassa, in a barroom drinking gin
Gannon aimed his Thompson gun, he didn't say a word
But he blew Atrios's body from there to Johannesburg

Gannon the headless Thompson gunner
Gannon the headless Thompson gunner
Gannon the headless Thompson gunner, talking about the man
Gannon the headless Thompson gunner

I look at it as Karma for Micah "Ranger" Wright.

Many many years from now, our descendants will remember these perilous times as America's finest hour. They will remember the moment in history when our great nation stood at a crossroads with our freedom at stake, and when men and women of courage and conviction rose up to shake off the shackles of our oppressors. They will remember all those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

They will gather together on Gannon Day to hold hands and once again sing the Ballad of Jeff. (The cryptic reference in verse 3 to the Rack of Wonkette will be a mystery that historians cannot explain.) Jeff Gannon will never be forgotten.

Haven't laughed this hard since Anka.

Michael,

Wonkette's rack will need to get at least a verse to itself.

"This is a man and he has a name, and it's Jeff Gannon, OK?"

"I understand, sir. In death, a member of Project Mayhem has a name. His name is Jeff Gannon."

"His name is Jeff Gannon. His name is Jeff Gannon. His name is Jeff Gannon ..."

Oh, and Hob, I'll have to take your word for it. I've spent more than enough time contemplating AMC's boobies for one day.

Heheh ... "boobies."

For Gannon:

Send lawyers, guns, and money, the shit has hit the fan.

I don't quite know where I am now. Yesteday we passed through what I think used to be Tulsa. No Tulsa was day before yesterday. Dammit, we keep moving so much.. damn this whole thing!

Now, I've been hearing some units caving. Hell, we've all heard the stories over the network. I want to say this about it and nothing more:

Do NOT let the younger men see you afraid. You are their beacon. As you act, so shall they. Remember this!

Final words. There is a story about Winston Churchll, in the bleakest hours of WWII, he announced he would give a speech to school grammar school boys, at Harrow, I think. Maybe I've got it wrong, maybe it never happened like this, but with the nation listening, desparate for a sign from their leader, he paused after the school master's introduction, the tension arcing through the room like lightning bolts, finally approached the lectern and said, the following:

"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up."

Then he sat down.

Godspeed.

Sweet Jesus, if they took down Gannon none of us is safe - not Hewitt, not Reynolds, not even Dan godammned Quayle!

There's only one thing left to do. Liquidate all personal assets immediately and find the best plastic surgeon money will buy.

Times are gonna be rough for the next 10 years. We're gonna have to go underground - traveling circuses, the mountains of Kansas, submediterranian cities...whatever it takes.

Times are gonna be rough. We might have to give some subway restroom BJs just to get by, but you don't have to like it, and swallowing is always YOUR call.

They can take our Gannon, but they will never take our freedom!

Gannon:

I just saw Wonkette having a Pina Colada at Trader Vics. Her hair was perfect.

Hob:

Her boobs were perfect.

Ray:

Your posts are killing me.

Update:
From - Ray Midge,
RE: Good News/Bad News.
Network: General, unencrypted.

Bad News:

The rumours on Gergen are true. He disappeared four days ago and has recently been spotted in East Atrios.

No, I don't believe he's been a spy this whole time. Gergen's always been a whore, willing to dance with whoever paid his price. Either way, every cell he touched has been compromised, but actions have already been taken.

Good news:

Our strikes are having an effect on their chain of command! In some areas they are completely unable to maintain order. I hear that South Thereeza is bedlam - children running around without any clothes!

Never give up!

GANNON!

Heard of a van that is loaded with weapons,
Packed up and ready to go
Heard of some gravesites, out by the highway,
A place only Gannon knows
The sound of gunfire, off in the distance,
I’m getting used to it now
Lived in a brownstone, lived in the ghetto,
I’ve lived all over this town

What's this?..... the Statue of Gannon, buried up to its neck in the sand? My God! The Planet of the Ace was really Earth all along!

Damn them! Damn them all to HELL!!

Gannon Operatives
Flash Comm

38940 83892 80203 90392 00398 73192 77829
88399 38940 88329 73992 88004 89939 83822

Eyes only
No duplication

Yes, Brewfan, we're all thrilled about Wankette's new boobies too. Please use the secure com for URGENT messages only from now on.
Sheesh.

From - Ray Midge,
RE: final transmission.
Network: General, unencrypted
Date: 1/19
Year: 37 P.G.

Brothers and sisters. Excuse the length of this transmission. It will be my last.

I am writing this to you from the hills east of Spokane, looking down on the ruins there. It is cold and my hands are shaking, so please excuse my errors. By the time you read this however, my cell (such as it is) will have moved on.

I guess we always knew this would be the sort of lives we would lead post GANNON., but I guess we just never expected that age to start when it did, at least not in our generation. Maybe we even thought those days would never come. That a golden, all powerful, god like GANNON would live forever, protecting us always under his immortal benevolence. There's a lesson there I guess, and if we ever emerge from this shadowy nomad existence, we would do well to remember that nothing lasts forever. We should praise Kos and Atrios for teaching us that lesson, truly.

But just as Kos and Atrios showed us GANNON is not invicible, so we should remember that THEY are not invincible. Kos and Atrios are not gods, regardless what some of us fear! AS GANNON could fall, so can they!

Now, a personal note: If anyone n your cell remembers once answering to the name Mary Midge (nee Smith) in the days of light, tell her Ray remembers her and that he can't stop thinking of those golden GANNON days with her.

The same goes for John Midge. He's probably got his own family now, but if he's still alive, I'm sure he's in the resistence somewhere. Tell him there's a person who remembers there's a scar on his knee that he got climbing a tree, and that person remembers where that tree is. Tell him that in a few years, should he ever return to that tree,, he will find a grave there. It's the grave of a man who loved him very much, a man who is sure that he would have been proud of his work in the resistence.

Pardon my sentiments, I know they are useless in our struggle. I'm off on my last trip. I've got to find a tree.

As always,

GANNON!

*Looking to the East, a dark cold horizon. Another day*

GANNOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!

A haiku from my tunnel:

Cherry blossoms flutter to the ground
The soft flesh of lauraw
She was my first

In a deep underground bunker, scientists watch with desperate, eager eyes as a man slowly awakens from a drug induced coma: he's strong and brave, he's a truthteller and shapeshifter, he's the answer to the prayers of a valiant but frightened nation, he's... Gannon's twin brother,

BOLT GANNON!!

to the rescue.

Did you really think he would leave us?