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« Howard Dean? Bring. It. On. | Main | On the Trail of Churchill's Academic Fraud »
February 10, 2005

Riot Breaks Out at London IKEA, Hospitalizing Hundreds

Donald Rumsfeld Criticized For Failing to Have a "Plan"

Umm, can I speak freely? IKEA sucks.

Five people are in hospital today after hundreds were crushed as the opening of England's biggest Ikea store turned into a riot.

Nine ambulances were sent to the outlet in north London after reports that up to 20 people had suffered heat exhaustion when the opening at midnight descended into chaos. Staff closed the doors after half an hour amid fears the stampede could become a Hillsborough-style crush.

Andrea Mitchell immediately condemned the American reconstruction effort for failing to get all of IKEA's air conditioning working properly.

Security guards said they were put "under siege" by customers who attacked them, leaving one guard with a dislocated jaw. The store remains closed and a cleanup operation is under way. Ikea apologised for the chaos and admitted the store was understaffed - but added that some customers "behaved like animals".

Ted Kennedy suggested the customers' behavior was encouraged by, if not specifically authorized by, the Gonzalez "Torture Memos."

...

Customers criticised the store. "I'm amazed at how badly organised it was," said Karni Mahmood, 37, from Enfield. "I only came here to buy a cheap sofa." Latyia Arpesh, 23, from Tottenham, said: "I was pushed to the ground and people clambered over me. I feared for my life."

She called for the United Nations to take more of a lead in restoring order and then called Ariel Sharon "a vampire."

...

As medics helped the injured, customers carried on shopping. A woman with pot plants said: "I've come from Birmingham for this." Jilal Patel, 29, from Tottenham, said: "I was queuing at 11am. Nothing is going to stop me from getting my sofa."

It is the common aspiration of all of humanity to crave:

1) freedom

2) low-cost some-assembly-required sofas executed in the design-school best described as Swedish Homosexual Moderne

Thanks to NickS.


posted by Ace at 01:27 PM
Comments



*gasp*

IKEA does NOT suck . . .

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that.

Posted by: Scout on February 10, 2005 01:44 PM

Everytime I hear the name IKEA I think of a woman I overheard about 10 years ago in a beautiful antiques store. She was talking to the owner and telling him that her mom had recently passed away and had a home full of antiques. She then said she couldn't wait to sell (I think her actual words were "get rid of") her mom's things and then take the money and buy stuff from IKEA. I must have stared at her for 10 minutes -- just to remember what an idiot looks like.

Posted by: Julia on February 10, 2005 01:45 PM

Ikea does suck. Seriously. Ace is starting to get some hetero-cred back by stating the fact.

Posted by: senator philabuster on February 10, 2005 01:47 PM

I'm currently sitting at home waiting for our new IKEA bookshelves to arrive . . .

Posted by: Scout on February 10, 2005 01:50 PM

Their furniture, yes it does suck. But their housewares, all the marketplace stuff, and of course their meatballs are great bargains.

Posted by: Eric on February 10, 2005 01:51 PM

Does suck, though I will make an exception for shelves and CD racks, which are hard to screw up.

I might even have such a thing in my apartment.

Posted by: ace on February 10, 2005 01:54 PM

Crap, I was hoping they'd be easy to install.

Posted by: Scout on February 10, 2005 01:57 PM

Ikea sells pot plants? They can't be that bad.

Posted by: PeterArgus on February 10, 2005 01:58 PM

As an obviously racist dick, I'll be the one to ask why none of the people quoted in the article have English names.

Are there no Anglo-Saxons left in Englant who want cheap Scandanavian furniture?

Posted by: hobgoblin on February 10, 2005 02:00 PM

I'm not saying I have anything against IKEA -- but being all giddy about selling your mom's antiques so you can go get some stuff at IKEA? I mean C'MON !!!

Posted by: Julia on February 10, 2005 02:11 PM

You just KNOW that if this had happened in the US at a Walmart, the BBC eurotrash would be all over it, citing it as an example of the crassness and immorality of American consumer culture.

Posted by: Pax on February 10, 2005 02:15 PM

In America, we believe in lines. No such idea holds across the pond.

Posted by: someone on February 10, 2005 05:00 PM

were they having a special on muslim prayer blankets or what?

Posted by: ass on February 10, 2005 05:12 PM

Goldberg at NRO has a link to another story from the BBC along the same lines.

Posted by: National Amish Online on February 10, 2005 05:17 PM

Getting trampled while waiting to get into an IKEA is like getting crushed in the rush for the stage at a Foghat concert. Keep speaking the truth to power, Ace!

Posted by: HayZeus on February 10, 2005 09:25 PM
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Top Headlines
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
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Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
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